Male Surgeons behaving like demigods!

I have a young friend with severe gyne problems and the only answer seems to be a hysterectomy but the consultant is refusing as should she meet anyone they might want children! She was unable to say ‘ it’s my body and have already decided not to have children’ really!

One ophthalmic consultant got so annoyed when my 3 year old squirmed about as he tried to put drops in her eyes that he threw the bottle across the room - I walked out with my child and found another consultant.

Musicgirl

Most of my experience with hospitals has been with various ENT departments. I have met some lovely doctors in that department, but the consultants with whom I have had most experience certainly lived down to the arrogant reputations that far too many consultants have. The first was by far the worst. I first saw him when I was around four. My mother had taken me to the hospital by bus and my younger brother, who was around eighteen months old at the time, was with us as my dad was at work. When we went into the consulting room, his first words, barked at a very high volume, were: “if that’s not the patient, get him out.” My poor mother had to take my brother out and the long-suffering receptionist looked after him. We saw many red-faced mothers running out of his room with younger brothers or sisters of the patient. The receptionists were expected to act as unpaid babysitters by the consultant. On that occasion, he had fiddled around in my ear then wanted to look in it again. Very uncharacteristically for me because I was a stoical child (as was generally encouraged anyway at that time (very late sixties)), I started to get very upset and refused to let him look in it. He, of course, became very impatient and barked at my mother to make me behave. My mother stuck up for me, saying that the ear was probably very painful. Eventually, in 1975 when I was ten, I had my first mastoidectomy, which is major surgery and he was the surgeon. He was a brilliant surgeon, as was acknowledged by future doctors and consultants who saw my ear. It didn’t solve the problems completely and l often had ear infections - even on my wedding day I had cotton wool in my ear as I was using ear drops for yet another infection. In 2010, l had a second mastoidectomy, but this time the consultant rebuilt my middle ear with tiny plastic bones and made a new eardrum with a skin graft. He was one of the pioneers in this type of surgery and surgeons from all over the world came to learn from him. I know l was very lucky but, while being nowhere near as rude as the first consultant, was still distinctly lacking in his bedside manner. One note that he wrote for my next appointment showed exactly how he thought of himself - he wrote to be seen by Mr. X Himself! After his retirement, l saw another consultant. He was mumbling to me while looking at his computer, which was at a right angle to me. I am much more confident these days and politely but firmly said that as I am deaf, he would need to face me. The ENT department of all departments!
I had a friend who was a nurse at this hospital and she told me that the consultants had all been made to go on courses to improve their bedside manner. Apparently, one man had been repeating the course for six months as he kept failing it.
Finally, Tony Atwood, who is an expert on the Autistic Spectrum, said that consultant surgeons were by far the highest group of professionals who were on the spectrum.

Interesting one about ENT - my disabled friend had had many problems with her ear, had mountains of anti-biotics, syringing etc at the GP but it eventually got so bad that she was crying in pain, and was becoming increasingly deaf. On this occasion she was sent to the emergency Ear Clinic at the local hospital we have both had bad experiences there but this one was unreal! The soecialist ENT person on duty, when told that my friend could taste everything that she put into her ear said "that's nonsense, there's no connection between you ear and your throat" ... errr Ear Nose and Throat???

They were about to fob her off and discharge her when I piped up - "she has come here with a very painful deaf ear, and you are trying to send her away; can we please see someone else?" She humphed, and flounced out, but around 10 mins later another doctor who introduced himself as the Senior Registrar came in. He examined her ear and got out a tray with those mini drop bottles on, all with different coloured tops, and began asking her if she's had red, yellow blue etc. She thought that she'd maybe not had the green top, so he proceeded to pour the lot into her ear. She then said that she felt a bit funny, and whilst he was explaining why that was, her eyes rolled, then she lost her speech and I shouted 'she's having a stroke, get someone here now!' It was terrifying, but people were swarming into the room in minutes. By then she was unconscious and I last saw her being run on the trolley for a head CT. This wasn't the 1st time that the same had happened - previously it was an injection into the back of her head when she went to see a consultant about her migraines. She made it as far as the car park machine before collapsing, and spent the next 2 months in hospital having lost her speech (but not her voice, she was speaking but not recognisable words), her mobility and continence. But they said that it was NOTHING to do with the injection! She was the mother of young boys and became disabled overnight. They even stood over her one day, and despite her being fine and talking English a few days before, (because she IS English, but 1/2 Maltese!) they said "she must be foreign, look at the colour of her skin"!

This happened in my local hellhole, and they've also lied to me - I do not trust them anymore, sadly ...

A lot of these posts are about things that happened many years, sometimes decades ago. Younger consultants are completely different. With 360° appraisal they can't get away with arrogant behaviour any more.

When I was a ward sister around 20yrs ago orthopaedic consultant known for his rudeness & a law unto himself . I was with patient in bathroom , sent out message that I would be out as soon as I had got the patient back to bed chair safely to join him for ward round . He waited meek & mild & following looking at a patient’s wound not long after it had been redressed( which then needed to be redressed ) , proceeded not to wash his hands & was going to next patient . I challenged him on the importance of hand hygiene & he washed his hands , he had student drs with him not a good role model . Thanked him for taking notice . From then on he was a good pleasant consultant to work with.

Aveline

A lot of these posts are about things that happened many years, sometimes decades ago. Younger consultants are completely different. With 360° appraisal they can't get away with arrogant behaviour any more.

The one I saw not thst long ago wasn't really arrogant but he was very cold.
And he was economical with the truth.

I can't say whether my other Consultant is arrogant or not as I've never met him in four years. Telephone appointments only! He sounds very pleasant on the phone.

My sister’s cancer could have been identified much sooner and her death avoided if a consultant (female) hadn’t ignored warning signs. Instead of initiating tests to ascertain the cause of liver problems she persisted in consecutive appointments in asking my sister if she had been drinking alcohol to excess. My sister did not drink at all. I’m still grieving and can’t yet summon the energy to deal with this, although I feel I must do so at some point. There were other difficulties during my sister’s subsequent chemotherapy treatment which were very unsatisfactory and upsetting but at the mercy of medics, vulnerable and dependent, experiencing awful pain, the patient and her family are at a loss to deal with it all.

@Aveline, the third ENT consultant l saw was from 2021-2022, so hardly years ago. His cold, brusque manner was the same throughout - no reassurance or any hint of a bedside manner whatsoever. By the way, 360 degrees is full circle, which would mean that nothing would change at all. Surely, it should be 180 degrees. Sorry for the pedantry.

Aveline

A lot of these posts are about things that happened many years, sometimes decades ago. Younger consultants are completely different. With 360° appraisal they can't get away with arrogant behaviour any more.

Ooh, not too sure about that 🤔

Aveline

A lot of these posts are about things that happened many years, sometimes decades ago. Younger consultants are completely different. With 360° appraisal they can't get away with arrogant behaviour any more.

My cancer treatment was in 2019!

Has anybody noticed the difference between seeing the consultant in clinic and in theatre? I have found seemingly very rude and abrupt consultants literally do a personality flip when you meet them in theatre, often very chatty and jokey.

Aveline

A lot of these posts are about things that happened many years, sometimes decades ago. Younger consultants are completely different. With 360° appraisal they can't get away with arrogant behaviour any more.

NO they are not.
The arrogant ones are just the same but may be more "careful" with the way they do it/say it.

I saw one of these with my daughter only last week.

My experience with that arrogant consultant was in 2015.
But, I must admit, that recently I have had to visit a consultant and she was really lovely.

This.

Sorry. This was meant to agree with Spaghetti

sounds as if he was wonderful, really good to have a positive story - thank you

Musicgirl

Most of my experience with hospitals has been with various ENT departments. I have met some lovely doctors in that department, but the consultants with whom I have had most experience certainly lived down to the arrogant reputations that far too many consultants have. The first was by far the worst. I first saw him when I was around four. My mother had taken me to the hospital by bus and my younger brother, who was around eighteen months old at the time, was with us as my dad was at work. When we went into the consulting room, his first words, barked at a very high volume, were: “if that’s not the patient, get him out.” My poor mother had to take my brother out and the long-suffering receptionist looked after him. We saw many red-faced mothers running out of his room with younger brothers or sisters of the patient. The receptionists were expected to act as unpaid babysitters by the consultant. On that occasion, he had fiddled around in my ear then wanted to look in it again. Very uncharacteristically for me because I was a stoical child (as was generally encouraged anyway at that time (very late sixties)), I started to get very upset and refused to let him look in it. He, of course, became very impatient and barked at my mother to make me behave. My mother stuck up for me, saying that the ear was probably very painful. Eventually, in 1975 when I was ten, I had my first mastoidectomy, which is major surgery and he was the surgeon. He was a brilliant surgeon, as was acknowledged by future doctors and consultants who saw my ear. It didn’t solve the problems completely and l often had ear infections - even on my wedding day I had cotton wool in my ear as I was using ear drops for yet another infection. In 2010, l had a second mastoidectomy, but this time the consultant rebuilt my middle ear with tiny plastic bones and made a new eardrum with a skin graft. He was one of the pioneers in this type of surgery and surgeons from all over the world came to learn from him. I know l was very lucky but, while being nowhere near as rude as the first consultant, was still distinctly lacking in his bedside manner. One note that he wrote for my next appointment showed exactly how he thought of himself - he wrote to be seen by Mr. X Himself! After his retirement, l saw another consultant. He was mumbling to me while looking at his computer, which was at a right angle to me. I am much more confident these days and politely but firmly said that as I am deaf, he would need to face me. The ENT department of all departments!
I had a friend who was a nurse at this hospital and she told me that the consultants had all been made to go on courses to improve their bedside manner. Apparently, one man had been repeating the course for six months as he kept failing it.
Finally, Tony Atwood, who is an expert on the Autistic Spectrum, said that consultant surgeons were by far the highest group of professionals who were on the spectrum.

I agree with this, a lot of doctors including consultants I’ve meet over the years do have the traits of someone on the autistic spectrum i.e Asperger’s or ADHD, very very clever but no social skills at all. Also horrendous handwriting which is common with ADHD. They can be very single minded and extremely clever.

Colossal generalisations! ( BTW Tony Attwood found more engineers of various types to be more likely to be on the autism spectrum)

I'm certain the amazing guy who did my dental implant wasting the spectrum" - he was totally amazing!
🤣

Well, as some one else said massive generalisations.

DH's hand writing is dreadful and he's not on the spectrum.

I’m no longer intimidated by anyone these days and I just tell it as it is. I got rid of the carers who were not nice to me I just complained to the senior and they no longer get to enter my house.- well worth a complaint

Cmon gnetters get your big pants on

Not "wasting" - (auto correct)
I meant "was on".

Not many surgeons working as carers