Black dog 21

Night night.
Such kindness here xx

He never does anything in the garden . Never has. Hardly even goes into it except to take the bins out! We have a man to cut the grass. I had an operation 10 years ago and couldn’t do it for a while and he won’t do the edges so I got someone in and kept him on.

Yes I could go away but it really doesn’t help. I need some space in my own home. And he won’t go anywhere. Where would he go.
People are noticing that I’m not good. I’m so tired of pretending. Oh well 🍷 then bed. Sleep well everyone.

Hoping everyone on BD has a peaceful night xx

HVDY fingers crossed for June. I think after being ill, it's a good thing it's put back.

Scaredycat you definitely got a feeling in that hotel, you won't be rushing back. I hope you're OK tomorrow after overdoing it, but its hard to pace yourself, I know. You just want to go for it when you have energy, especially if the weather is nice.
Sweetpeasue How are you both today?
Doodle I hope you are OK, and DH is still recovering.
I think we do appreciate nature more when we are older, partly because we have more time to stop and stare.
It's good to know we are not alone in having regrets about decisions in the past.
Our children will probably do the same when they are older. And our parents probably did it. I think it's just part of life.
EllieAnne could you not go somewhere for a few days break? Or tell your husband you need some time alone.

Nadateturbe You have had so many bad nights and I know it wears you out. I think you needed the half sleeping tablet to get a night's rest. Ikwym about the next day feeling groggy though , that's the only drawback. Thankyou so much for the hug.☺️ I bet that blackbird is the same one. It's nice to think they come back isn't it? Did you know they like bits of cheese? Some yrs ago a blackbird came into our house and perched on the coffee table. I managed to get it out with bits of cheese. I never realised one would ever come in so I'm careful now. I sound like a mad birdwoman!
Doodle I hope things have been OK today and your DH is recovering as to be expected. I suppose things might slow down now it's the weekend and you won't see many Dr's about. Oh yes, I'm sure we do have more time for nature as we get , er, more mature. 😄
HVDY If you have squirrels it would be difficult for you not to feed the birds without them getting a look in. They are such clever little things aren't they? That balloon ride has been cancelled so many times. Let's hope the June one will be OK. Hope you're feeling a little better today.
Scaredycat You've had so much tragedy in your life. I remember you once mentioning your son and first DH. No one expects to say the last goodbye when someone leaves the house- it must have been absolutely dreadful. You are such a kind person who seems to always sound young and sunny natured. How weird that the building you had lunch in one meant to be haunted and even stranger that you'd thought it was creepy before you googled it. So glad you got to the coast. I know you love the sea too.
EllieAnne Hope your weekend goes OK. Shame your DH can't help with the gardening-I know I couldn't manage on my own. Weeding is awful on the back. Hope you have a nice meet up with your friend.
Wyllow I hope your decisions aren't huge one's-they're the worst I think. Any decisions are difficult when your MH is bad- even whether to make a cup of tea.
I've only been abroad once -on a ferry one weekend to Denmark, and not been to London though my DH has been once. Hope you sleep well tonight and you are not having bad nights.

NannyCandy**Whiff Hoping you're all OK and have a reasonable weekend.

Bad night but much better afternoon today and I actually had DGS for a few hrs. DH picked him up from school and we played with a ball in the garden ,him showing me his football tricks. It was so good to be with him again. I'm not good now but I'm so pleased to have had him again. DH still having headaches and dizzy spells and worrying now about next week. Need to take one day at a time.

Wishing all a peaceful night.x

Scaredy-cat I must have missed that too. How awful for you.
Hvdy that balloon ride is not meant to be!
It’s been sunny here today but still cold.
Managed to do a bit of weeding but still lots to do.
I’m tired tonight. I’m going to my friend tonight. It’s been very quiet there lately.
But I so wish I could just have a few days and evenings at home on my own to build myself up and rest.
Hope everyone has a decent weekend.

Scaredycat So sorry, I must have somehow missed that. What a sad thing to happen.

Oh Scaredycat I didn't know that. My heart goes out to you. 💐

Nadateturbe Balloon ride cancelled - too windy, they said. Just as well, so I've booked the next possible available one, in June! Hope you're alright today.

ScaredyCat Your day yesterday sounded very good. Was the lunch nice? Lovely to get beside the sea.

SweetpeaSue Hope today is going better for you and your husband. Your little bird must know the best place to go for food and shelter. We have 2 squirrels that I feed every day. I love to see them (birds and foxes too).

How's everyone else getting on?

Hi all.Having a rest today as I had an overdoing it day yesterday. We finally used a Xmas voucher for lunch at a very old hotel a little way away. I thought it was really creepy and when we got home googled and it’s been on tele as a most haunted building.!!👻👻👻 Afterwards went to the coast about 40 mins away and walked too far- but it was a grab the moment thing. I,ll never learn. Just feel very lucky when so many of you are feeling unwell.
Doodle- glad DH has kind people looking after him. You must be so relieved the Op has been done. Hopefully the Consultant will have more info for you today.
What a roller coaster of emotions you have been on together these last months- thank you so much for sending us updates when you must be so tired and concerned.
Candy- never berate yourself for decisions and thoughts you have had in the past. At the time it was what was right for you all and made for all the right reasons. I know it’s not the same but I happily waved my DH and 2 sons off for a day out never dreaming 2 of them would not come home. I think of that moment every day.
Yes my GD is lovely- she’s nearly forty now though with 2 children of her own. How old does that make me!!!
Hope you are not feeling so tired today.
SweetPeaSue- what a shame the pain returned after your nice trip out. You must get so sick of it- DH too still having the dizzy spells.
Sounds like your little feathered friend watches over you. I remember you telling us about her last year. If it isn’t the same one it will be one of her children!
Hope today is an easier one for you both.
Nadateturbe- that groggy feeling must be horrible but as you say at least you had a sleep.
Yes we are fortunate with our GC - most live a way away but the ones who are close love a natter.
What you say about meeting people is so true- I know it is often a huge effort for you but it really is important and worth it.
HVDY- so sorry you felt awful yesterday. Hope the antibiotics kick in soon.
It’s very windy here today and definitely not hot air balloon weather!!! I remember that trip being cancelled for you more than once I think. Probably be better to take when you feel a bit bettter.
EllieAnne- hope this weekend isn’t too stressful for you.
Wyllow- so glad you have had a little outing and some companionship . First steps - but not the last.xx

Wyllow3 I hope you are managing those difficult decisions today. It's good you're able to talk a little.

Doodle how are you both?
HVDY ever think you're not meant to go on the balloon ride? Seriously though I hope you make it, but don't push yourself too much.

Doodle I've only been on the antibiotics since Wednesday. More importantly, how are you? How's your husband doing?

Sorry all my iPad is on a real go slow very delayed and it makes typing difficult so just a quick post,
Sweetpeasue sorry you and your DH not feeling great. Hope you had a better night and today is improved. I love watching the birds in the trees too. I wonder if we only really start to appreciate nature when we get older (not that I mean your old you understand 😱)
nadateturbe glad you slept but that groggy feeling isn’t nice is it. Sometimes it’s worth it just to get some rest though.
HVDY that balloon ride has been cancelled a few times hasn’t it, sorry you are still feeling so poorly. How long have you been on the antibiotics now? Hope you feel better soon.
Wyllow hope what ever decisions are being made they are the right choices for you. xx
Scaredycat Ellie Anne thinking of you both hoping you have a good day.
Candy we all have serious if only moments. Of course you wish you’d made the trip to London with your son earlier but we can’t know the future. There are many things I regret too. You have done the best you could at the time I’m sure.
Take care all x

Felt very unwell yesterday, but slept a bit better last night. Meant to be on a hot air balloon ride at teatime (doubt we will because of the weather), which was bought 2 years ago by our sons. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Wyllow3 So pleased you managed to get out with a friend. First steps to recovery, I hope.

Doodle Glad your husband's now recovering, hope you get to see him today

Thank you for the good wishes BD's. Difficult times and decisions here today. Love to all....London does seem like going to the moon SPea and Doodle hoping for the best for you and MrD
night night xx

Goodnight everyone on BD. I hope you have a peaceful night.xx

Very kind of you to go and do housework for your son EllieAnne. You're a caring mother. I'm sure it was good to get away from the house for a while too.
I think we feel better when we pray and it doesn't have to be a long prayer. We may not get the thing we want but God is listening and cares.

Candy It must be awful to feel guilty about your decision with your son. But I'm sure you made what you thought was the best decision at the time. I can't put it any better than Sweetpeasue. I think we punish ourselves and worry too much about things we feel we did wrong. We didn't do them on purpose.

Whiff very thoughtful of you to research specialists in London for Sweetpeasue.
HVDY hope you're feeling a little better today.
Scaredycat I think its lovely that your GD likes to meet up with you. I'm sure you enjoy chatting with her. Mine have no interest. And nice that your art friends have arranged something, will be great to have a catchup. Seeing other people is so important I think.
Glad you had a nice evening with friends too Candy.

Sweetpeasue you poor thing. Giving you a big hug. And your poor husband too. I hope tomorrow is better. We too have a resident blackbird. My husband is sure it's the same one . He is very at home in our garden and comes close to the door.. I'm sure my husband will be naming him soon.
I took half a sleeping pill last night and I've been groggy all day. But at least I slept.

Doodle Good of you to come in and let us know how things are with your DH.
I hope he comes out of recovery ward soon and that you can see him again. Sending love x
Candy It's awful that you hold such deep regret about not going to the London hospital sooner. No one can know what will happen in the future and we all can only do what we feel is right at the time and under those circumstances. You will have made your choices out of much thought and from your heart and that is all we can ever do. You should not blame yourself. I say these things though I know it's so hard to forget some things. I made (with my sisters) decisions when my mum was in a hospice , and I am haunted by memories of those times. Sometimes there isn't a right or wrong choice. If we'd taken a different road, how do we know that things would definitely have been for the better?
Hope you feel more rested now.

Disturbed night but then things got better and we went to local garden centre. By afternoon pain back with vengeance so laid up. DH with headache n dizzy spells. Tomorrow's another day isn't it? Settled at moment. Am looking out of window and my blackbird is looking in at me from top of our plum tree. Sure it's 'mine' from last year. 🙂

Doodle thank you for update. I hope you get talking to your DH soon.x

Wyllow3 it's so good to hear you go out with someone, even for a little while. Tiny steps. xx