Black dog 21

Whiff thank you for sharing with Nanny2507. I'm sure she will find it helpful. You have managed so well in spite of your grief. It's what your husband wanted, but I'm sure you've had to make a huge effort. Your husband was so wise and caring, a lovely man.

Ellie Anne like Sweetpeasue I wonder if you could make your room a bit more of a personal place to go. Is there room for a comfy chair (a rocker) or even one of those slouchy pillows. Can you get all the programs you want on the iPad.? I hardly ever watch our TV now just use the iPad.
Sweetpeasue RLS has moved on to restless body syndrome tonight for some reason, DH wants to get up and move around but of course can’t . It’s so frustrating.
What a lovely post to nanny very thoughtful and caring.
Like you, DH is on Movicol constantly and something else he got in hospital too. That’s the bad downside of pain killers.
Of course you get fed up. We do too. I think it’s only natural when you can’t live your life with a bit of freedom and control.
When it just keeps going on one day after another. Somehow we have to keep plodding on and hope there are enough good days to compensate.
Don’t be embarrassed about playing games. I do too. Anything that distracts the mind for a while. Why not.
Hope the psychiatrist meeting is helpful. What a shame the helpline is discontinued. Is there anything similar you can find online?
nanny I can only imagine how I’d feel in your situation and
how lonely you are with out your DH. Please do try and contact one of the organisations. They might be able to help.
I’m hoping the new baby will give you some reason to have Hope again.
Sweetoeasue and Whiff have written such thoughtful posts to you and Whiff understands better than most what you are going through.
nadateturbe so pleased you had a good time with the family.
Nice to enjoy company even if it makes you tired after. Hope you can relax in bed, Rubik’s cube is a good way of relaxing, my friend does lots of jigsaws too says it helps her to have something to do where she doesn’t have to think of anything else.
Scaredycat so pleased your holiday is longer than I thought, enjoy a lovely long break. Sounds as though the family need it. Hope you all have a good rest.
HVDY your cough sounds really bad, Hope you are ok. Bit quiet in your house then🤣. Seriously hope the laryngitis gets better soon. Did you enjoy your lunch?

Thanks for asking how I got on at hospital today. Unfortunately, they want me back Wednesday to undergo a small procedure if not successful I will have to be admitted for a few days while they try something else. I’m really worried about how DH will cope if I don’t get out the same day but our sons have promised they will look after their dad and stay with him all the time. Even so it will be very difficult. Things just seem to be never ending at the moment.
Thanks for all your kind wishes, xx
Wyllow sleep well and peacefully xx

Sweetpeasue I'm glad you likes the song. I have a YouTube playlist of similar songs to play when I feel the need.
I'm sorry the ADs have side effects. Were they severe? Did they not ease after a while. It's one reason I am reluctant to take anything that's not essential. I get side effects so easily. I once tried Floradix and had huge itchy lumps from head to toe.
Maybe you could try a different AD.
I understand about the options. There's a GN thread today about someone being constipated. Many people made helpful suggestions including prunes. I have a few warm prunes first thing every morning (tinned, microwave 20 secs) It works. But I don't know if your digestive system could cope, or even if it would help. We are all different.
I think if one is stuck in the house its better to use it as an opportunity to do something rather than get depressed about it. Doesn't always work, of course. I remember having a space invaders game, loved it, must have a look.
It doesn't matter what you do, as long as you enjoy it. Whatever lights your candle, as they say. I personally think if pain isn't severe, it distracts you and helps.
I play Wordblock during the night.
Forgive me for forgetting but is your husband still waiting for a scan? Or was he diagnosed with Rheumatoid arthritis?
No wonder you're fed up, so much to think about. .
Hopefully I'll get to art Wednesday. Shame about your book group being cancelled for 2 weeks. Does it stp during the summer?. Will you do something else if you are well enough?
My dentist is 5 mins drive. And NHS. Very handy. I think it's important to look after my remaining teeth, don't really need anything more to cope with.

Whiff So pleased you could post to Nanny. It was good of you and I can only say how much I agree with Nadateturbe in that your husband was such a caring, loving man. You must miss him tremendously.
Doodle You understand well about the painkillers and affects. I get strong feelings that I am going to 'go' but don't and it's tormenting. I'm not sure if it's to do with the bowel adhesion that formed after the hysteroscopy and was snipped at last Laparoscopy.Bladder more important to deal with now anyway.
The 'helpline' GP mentioned was on top of a letter to DH from Rheumatology but was meant to be the dept itself so wasn't something for support as such.

I'm sorry you will need to go into hospital for a procedure tomorrow Doodle and can understand your concern for your husband if you need to stay for longer. I'm sure your son will look after his dad absolutely fine but of course you will desperately want to do that yourself, and you can, when you are put right yourself. I hope everything will be sorted for you tomorrow , though you need to take things easy .
You are bound to feel frustrated about it and I know you will be anxious to get back to him. I will be thinking and praying for you that you get sorted quickly tomorrow. Surely-these times will pass and there will be better times to come. Not hopefully - surely. You are not alone. Big hug x

Doodle you poor thing! I can understand you being completely fed up.
I do hope and pray that the procedure works, so that you don't have to stay in.. I'm sure your sons will take good care of your husband. But of course you would prefer to be there for him yourself. Sending love and hugs. xx .

sweet and whiff such kind and beautiful words. Thank you. whiff we were together 37 years. He was my life. I agree when you said your present and future was lost. We had so many plans. I am so mad with myself that I went away for the weekend to see my DGDs. So mad I didnt get home earlier so very mad I didnt get in the hospital bed with him. Everytime he went in hospital I would lay next to him having a cuddle and watching a crappy film . It's the simple things I miss.

Nadateturbe I saw the thread you mentioned and contributed about the Movicol and suppositories. I had some prunes this morning and have them as a snack of with porridge. I know I wouldn't go at all without Laxido/movicol because of my co-codamol and oramorph. Needed them twice early morning and it's trying to get everything coordinated in right amounts.
Book group restarts after Easter break.
My husband has Polymyalgia but GPs were unsure at first so sent him to Rheumatology where they confirmed it. No Rheumatoid Arthritis. He had a head scan because of headaches and nothing sinister like tumour. I worry because can get Temporal Arteritis with Polymyalgia and that doesn't show up on scans.
Glad you can do Art on Wednesday. Crossed fingers for you. (You made me smile about your DH and politics talk-- mine does too! 😂)
Wyllow Good night and take care of yourself. X

Not looking for medical advice per se but for other people's experiences: has anyone been given any medication/treatment for severe nightmares and did it work?

I am waking every night for months on end with the bedlinen absolutely soaking from fear sweats and often waking into a panic attack.

It really affects my existing low mood and I just feel horrible. I have bad insomnia as it is and I am honestly anxious about falling asleep because the nightmares are so bad.

Also, I am really sick of washing full sets of bedlinen each day It's not even damp, it's actually soaking. It's so unpleasant.

Just wondering if anyone had tried anything that helped. Current GP doesn't have any suggestions. I have propranolol for panic attacks but taking it at bedtime doesn't improve this problem at all.

Evening all
Have caught up with your posts. I do try to read most days but reading tires me and then often I’m too tired to respond. Sorry. I do think of you all though. It was mylast day in work last Tuesday and I’ve been mostly ok. I sometimes feel a bit “lost” but it’s early days so I’m putting it down to that. It’s nothing though compared to what a lot of you are going through.

Doodle my weekend was fine thank you. I’m tired a lot if the time but I’m sort of used to it now and make allowances and try to have a nap when I can. Thank you for asking. I do hope your check up went ok today and I’m glad you were having it. Always worth checking things out when we feel things aren’t quite right. I hope you have been reassured. Hopefully the first procedure will be successful for you and you wont require any more treatment. Try not to worry about your DH as I’m sure your sons will step in and give him the care he needs. You need to get well and I’m sure they will do anything they can for you both. Loving families do that, they are there for each other in times of need and I’m sure your boys will do everything they can for you. Good luck with everything.
Whiff you write such informative and caring posts which I’m sure are a comfort to those in need. You do this despite going through so much adversity yourself and that’s a wonderful thing to do.
Notoveryet welcome. I’m sorry for your situation, it must be so difficult for you. I’m glad you found this thread. This is a kind, caring, non-judgemental place where you can come for help and support. Sometimes there are no answers but there are many, many warm hugs.
HVDY good news about your DH, you must all be relieved. Your cough sounds such a nuisance, I hope you get some relief soon. I once had a cough for some months and after trying lots of so called remedies, I found it was due to an allergy - tree pollen. Antihistamines sorted it and I couldn’t believe it was that. It was about this time of year too. Might not be the same for you of course but I thought it worth a mention.
Sweetpeasue I hope you haven’t been in pain today. I’m pleased though that you will get to see someone who knows what they are doing. I hope they help you, you deserve some proper care after all this time suffering as you have done. I hope you get an appointment soon.
Ellie Anne I’m sorry your unhappy situation continues. I too think you should make your room your “haven”. Put some nice soft furnishings in there, make it “yours” somewhere you can go that will comfort you. It will make a difference I’m sure. I hope the weekend hasn’t been too bad for you.
Nadaterturbe your family evening out sounded lovely. I love a good catch up. I’m sure it did you the world of good.
Nanny a very difficult time for you. Please don’t isolate yourself. Reach out and get any help you can. I think making use of the bereavement services offered could help. Not everyone wants or can take meds but they could possibly help too? Sending ❤️.
Scaredycat hope you are having a nice restful time away.
Wyllow special thoughts and ❤️.

muffinthemoo so sorry about your nightmares. It sounds awful. DH has had nightmares taking Zopiclone for sleeping.
Are you taking any meds that nightmares could be a side effect,
Are the hot sweats caused by the nightmares or could it be something else. Don’t find the GPs response very helpful. Could you be referred to a sleep clinic for example?

Candy congratulations on your retirement. You’re right it is early days but it sounds as though you need the rest so hopefully you will think you made the right decision.
Yes you’re right our sons will do a good job of caring for their dad.
Have you any plans for a holiday now you’ve retired or a trip anywhere?

Doodle I take venlafaxine for many years now, but everyone tells me that that is supposed to make nightmares less vivid? I have always had bad nightmares but the last six to nine months they have been absolutely ridiculous. I haven't had a dose adjustment for the venlafaxine so I don't feel like it is responsible. I very very rarely forget a dose, but I have forgotten a dose two or three times in that last six, seven months, and the nightmares are genuinely unendurable when that happens. I wake up but don't wake up, and don't know where I really am and am absolutely terrified. Dreadful scenes.

I asked the GP about zopiclone or similar just so I could get the odd night of decent sleep, but she doesn't think that would solve the problem.

I didn't ask about sleep clinic but I have been thinking, if I could gather together an 'ideas list' of things that might possibly help, I could go back and suggest some interventions to try.

I do the usual advice about winding down at bedtime, warm drinks, etc etc, but even when I get to sleep easily enough, this happens in the night and I wake up in the mornings feeling absolutely knacked from the stress and adrenaline!!

Night night, dear all BD's. xx

Nadaterturbe We do puzzles and crosswords, too. I hope you manage to get to your art class tomorrow. It's nice to have a regular hobby. My voice does go quite often - whenever I get a cold and/or throat infection, it affects my voice (although I DO yap a lot )
SweetPeaSue I'm so sorry you keep having all the pain. It's a Catch 22 - painkillers which then cause constipation, then meds to relieve that. I was given a "helpline" number for Rheumatology, too - it was an answerphone and I had a call back 2 days later (only the once). I do Wordle and other games on the computer.
Doodle Would something like a Revitive machine help your husband? (The thing Ian Botham advertises on tv). It's one thing after another for you both, but I hope all goes well on Wednesday, and that you're not away from home for long. I'm sure your lovely family will take good care of your husband.
Candy6 Did you have a leaving do? It will take a while for you to adjust to not going to work, but not having to get up and out early is nice. My cough is a chesty one - I can feel "stuff" but can't cough it up (sorry, too much info). I ought to see a GP but I'm a believer of letting things go on their own, when possible. Thanks, though.
MuffinTheMoo Your nightmares must be very unpleasant and upsetting. Perhaps a different or additional antidepressant might help?

I went to bed at 9.30 last night, slept until 6! DH and I are going to our local small theatre this afternoon (it's upstairs in the leisure centre) to see Wicked Little Letters, a film with Olivia Coleman and Timothy Spall - it'll be a change, and only cost £11 in total. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

muffinthemoo if I have a nightmare it stays with me and affects my mood for a long time after I wake up. Must be distressing for you. I don’t know of any sleep clinics but I’m sure there must be a branch of the NHs that deals with sleep disorders.
HVDY not heard of Revitive must look it up.
You must have needed that sleep. Ooh I’ve heard about that film. It’s supposed to be very good. I love Olivia Coleman. Such a wicked sense of humour, Timothy Spall is a favorite too. Hope you enjoy it.

Just looked it up in the internet and there are sleep clinics in the NHS that deal with night terrors. Perhaps you should as you GP for a referral muffin

MuffinTheMoo It must be awful to be scared to go to sleep for fear of having such nightmares. I can have very bad dreams and have experienced 'sleep paralysis' but nothing near to what you are describing. I don't think your GP is being helpful and asking to be referred to a sleep clinic , as Doodle suggested seems the best idea.
Sorry I can't be more helpful. I think what you have already been doing is sensible. I don't know anything about venlaxafine though I did used to take zopiclone many years ago when GPs were more likely to prescribe sleeping aids. If your GP can't help I'd try another as your nightmares are so extreme.

HVDY Thank goodness you manage to sleep last night. I hope your cough is on the way out . Just googled the film you are going to see and it sounds great. Hope you enjoy it. DH hasn't got anywhere ringing the Rheumatology helpline as it wasn't taking messages. Just a message saying it wasn't dealing with medication enquiries and basically anything else! DH's appt not till July though Gp sent expedited letter.
Doodle I'm sorry , it's not today you were going in hospital but tomorrow. You must be getting a bit anxious but I'm sure your DH will be fine. You need to look after yourself so you can look after him. Of course, I'm stating the obvs and you know that. I'm praying everything will go smoothly tomorrow and you'll soon be back home. X
Candy Glad it's not been too bad since you left your job. I think you'll find lots of things you want to do and didn't have the time for when working. Better weather coming up so that should help.
Nanny Hope you are coping and haven't had too bad a day. I've been thinking of you and hoping your heart isn't as heavy today. Is Binks still OK and still as naughty? Hope your car is behaving now. Take care of yourself. Warm hug for you.x

Bit of a 'non' day today. Nothing interesting. Made bread ( dough hook did work) so lazy way. Still annoying bowel pain which doesn't seem down to anything and low tum pain but not severe ,just unexplained. Went on exercise bike and did5kiloms. Knees really objecting now! Hope everyone is OK.

MuffinTheMoo Someone I knew had a relative that was referred to a NHS sleep clinic-diagnosed with sleep apnoea - so there must be some around. Good Luck.

The film was quite decent - Timothy Spall plays Olivia Cole's dad. In real life, he's 67, she's 50. He looks much older since he lost a lot of weight. The film has got strong swearing all the way through it (doesn't bother me whatsoever), and that's basically to do with the storyline. It made a change. As usual, DH rushed to get back home (he's always been the same), to do what? Play Solitaire on the computer! He's just gone to see Son1 for a couple of hours. Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening x

Sweetpeasue I remember now about your worries that your husband had Temporal Arteritis. What does the GP think? Polymyalgia is difficult to diagnose but Ive had a look and there are tests for TA? Sorry if you've answered this before.
It must be so difficult coordinating pills and laxatives, just one more thing to have to worry about.
I hope you feel OK today.
What space invaders game do you play? There seem to be lots available.
Candy congratulations on finally retiring. . It will probably take time to adjust but my cousin retired a few months back and wonders how she found time to work. You do sound like you need a good rest though, so maybe relax for a while. Is there anything special you would like to do?

Muffin, you are having a dreadful time, and I think your GP is very unhelpful. Can you see a different one? At the very least I would request a referral as Doodle suggests.

HVDY Maybe your poor voice is worn out 😃.
That was a lovely long sleep. I don't remember the last time I slept all night.. do you feel better for it?
Hope you enjoyed the cinema. Two good actors, it should be worth watching.
Puzzles give you something to do together Icthink. We actually played Scrabble tonight. My husband isn't a game person so I was surprised he agreed. I just couldn't face another evening of just tv. I can't wait for sunny evenings to come.
It's just raining nonstop.
Hope everyone is OK.

Sweetpeasue just read your last post. How can you call that a non day!! You made bread and did an exercise bike session. I'm very impressed. Especially the bread. I so long to make my own bread without additives like shop bought bread, which doesn't really agree with me. What bread did you make? Is it very difficult?

Muffin a clinic that deals with night terrors as Doodle says, sounds just like what you need. I really think the GP should refer you. Your nights sound unbearable.

Glad you enjoyed the film HVDY. I must see it. I love anything Olivia Coleman is in.
You made me laugh about your OH rushing home to his game. Soon after I got together with my OH I woke in the middle of the night to find him playing war games on the OC.

Doodle I will be thinking about you and also your DH tomorrow and remembering you in my prayers. Try not to worry. Sending you a big warm hug. xx