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To go through chemo therapy or choose not to?

(64 Posts)
singingnutty Fri 26-Apr-24 09:23:06

After successful surgery for bowel cancer (everything removed and lymph nodes were not affected) I am being offered chemotherapy and have to make a rapid decision on whether or not to have it. After what has been a 'battering' of my body and mind I wonder if putting myself through this process is just too much. The oncologist said that it should increase my chances of the cancer not returning in the short term from 70% to 80%. Has anyone who has been in this situation any experiences to share please. I know that in the end only I can make the decision.

singingnutty Fri 26-Apr-24 14:04:07

Thanks for the comments so far made. Please keep them coming. I think the haste is because there were delays in getting results because of a 'backlog' unfortunately. The oncologist said that treatment would have to begin at the beginning of June at the latest. I am hoping to get an appointment to talk to a counsellor at our local Wellbeing Centre which provides services for cancer patients. The oncologist promised that he would write a letter laying out the points he made at my appointment on Tuesday, but so far I have just had the letter telling me he is going to phone me on Tuesday for a decision. It's all a bit stressful.

OldFrill Fri 26-Apr-24 14:05:11

I was in almost exactly the same situation as you, 10 years ago. The choice was entirely mine and the consultant would not influence me either way.
It was oral chemo (quite new at the time). It was over 6 months and the concern was the side effects (possibly as it was so new - hopefully it's improved). I managed 5 months, I had to discontinue as it was causing neurological damage.
The oral regime itself was very debilitating and l could barely function and definitely couldn't work.
I don't regret it but l do live with lasting damage.
I imagine the chemo will have improved since then, and we all react differently. Had l needed to work it would have proved impossible.

Whiff Fri 26-Apr-24 14:05:45

Should have said off all the side effects from chemo unfortunately my husband got the 2 he didn't want lost his sense of taste and became impotent . Until he had chemo didn't realise there where different sorts and different grades depending on the grade of cancer and the sort you had. It was an eye opener.

But there is more chance of survival than in 2001/2004.

SueDonim Fri 26-Apr-24 17:17:32

A young family member is going through this now. He’s had a full course of chemo after bowel surgery but it’s come back again. sad He’s now on another course of chemo in an effort to control it and turn into a chronic condition, hopefully for many years.

There’s been no hair loss although the first course caused neurological problems and brain fog. The second course causes mild nausea and tiredness but he’s been able to work for most of both courses of treatment.

midgey Fri 26-Apr-24 17:27:24

In my mind it all depends on your age and if you have other co morbidities. W
Like it or not we are all going to die one day, you are already one up in my book!

maddyone Fri 26-Apr-24 17:49:39

My cousin had bowel cancer and had surgery. Told it was all removed and wouldn’t come back. It did. Further surgery and then chemo. She’s been clear ever since then, well over twenty years.

pascal30 Fri 26-Apr-24 17:57:27

In your position I would agree to the Chemo to get yourself on the waiting list.. then see your counsellor and have a good think about it. I think I would probably have one course of chemo to see whether I could cope with it,and also to put my mind at rest that I had done all I could to prevent a reccurence.. I hope all goes well. there are also good massage therapist to help you feel better..

Calipso Fri 26-Apr-24 18:28:26

pascal30

In your position I would agree to the Chemo to get yourself on the waiting list.. then see your counsellor and have a good think about it. I think I would probably have one course of chemo to see whether I could cope with it,and also to put my mind at rest that I had done all I could to prevent a reccurence.. I hope all goes well. there are also good massage therapist to help you feel better..

pascal30 forgive me but your reply may be misunderstood and cause the OP unnecessary anxiety. If chemotherapy is required and singingnutty decides to proceed with the treatment, there will be no "waiting list" The OP tells us that the consultant would like treatment to commence quickly.

pascal30 Fri 26-Apr-24 19:11:15

Yes you're right,, good point..

OldFrill Fri 26-Apr-24 20:17:04

There are different causes and types of bowel cancer so someone's diagnosis,/experience may have absolutely nothing to do with another's diagnosis/experience.
When l had chemotherapy for bowel cancer it wasn't a matter of 'courses' it was committing to six months unless the side effects became more of a threat than discontinuing the chemo.
Swallowing poison many times daily was my greatest challenge psychologically, it is not as easy as those saying 'belt and braces' seem to think.
It was a zillion times harder than the surgery.

Urmstongran Fri 26-Apr-24 20:21:39

The Professor at Christie’s told us “I can have two patients with a similar cancer and give them both the same chemotherapy. One will do well and the other, sadly, might not. It’s not an exact science as every body is different”.

He also said “getting cancer is just bad luck”.

Primrose53 Fri 26-Apr-24 20:52:26

My Mum first had bowel cancer when she was about 75. She had surgery and was told if she stayed clear for 5 years she would need no further appointments. A week before the 5 years were up she was very poorly and a different strain of bowel cancer was diagnosed. Lots of surgery again and left with just a tiny bit of colon. Chemo was offered but she declined. She lived to the great age of 97 and those years were very good years. Take time and don’t be rushed. ❤️

YorkLady Fri 26-Apr-24 21:37:29

Mr York was in this exact same position. You have my thoughts.
My husband had radiotherapy then surgery for Bowel Cancer.
When you get the news from your surgeon that everything went well and there no lymph nodes affected, you feel elated. Then Chemotherapy is mentioned, just to ensure everything stays as it is. You immediately become doubting that everything is good..
Our surgeon advised that he had three months Chemo just as insurance. Which he did..this was four years ago and everything is good.
Talk to you Oncologist, they should give you all the options available to you but only you can decide what to do.
How would you feel if the cancer returned and you hadn’t taken this extra step.
Good Luck and remember there is a great chance that you will get your normal life back.

Urmstongran Fri 26-Apr-24 21:41:24

Liver mets and lymph node involvement determined that chemotherapy was essential. Sometimes the choice is made for you, sad to say.

Macadia Fri 26-Apr-24 22:15:21

I'm sorry. It sounds like you have been through a lot. There are so many different types of chemo drugs and everyone responds uniquely to their own personalized treatment so talk to the professionals on your team until you find your answers. Scientists found these treatments with a goal of healing. I also have two family members having chemo now. Hugs to you.

harrigran Sat 27-Apr-24 09:02:30

I had chemotherapy after my operation for bowel cancer, twelve tablets a day with some side effects but I am still here eight years on.

singingnutty Sat 04-May-24 16:46:40

Just an update - I had a telephone call with the oncologist at the beginning of the week and told him I had made the decision not to have chemo therapy. At the end of the call he said 'I think that is a good decision'. I am now on a mission to get extra healthy by losing weight, eating only healthy food and getting more exercise. We have a charity locally which offers therapies, dietary advice and yoga, pilates etc. I have signed on with them and also had an appointment with a well qualified medical herbalist who has given me a lot of help. I am feeling very positive so that will help as well.

dotpocka Sat 04-May-24 17:07:01

i had lung cancer.surgey,chemo it has been a year and except she wants me to do immunotherpy. type of cancer was rare and nobody really knows how to deal with it
except my mri 's are clean
i decide june 3 i will do it a feel great no trouble breathing even part of my lung is going
choice as the best you can ..i am ok chemo was ok i did not have much except a upset belly everyone is different my hair is or was it is growing,i cut it to my scalp 2xs it was really coarse
i have problems more from 2 strokes???/

MissAdventure Sat 04-May-24 17:19:07

singingnutty

Just an update - I had a telephone call with the oncologist at the beginning of the week and told him I had made the decision not to have chemo therapy. At the end of the call he said 'I think that is a good decision'. I am now on a mission to get extra healthy by losing weight, eating only healthy food and getting more exercise. We have a charity locally which offers therapies, dietary advice and yoga, pilates etc. I have signed on with them and also had an appointment with a well qualified medical herbalist who has given me a lot of help. I am feeling very positive so that will help as well.

I'm glad you made the right decision for you.
Good luck going forward. smile

Calipso Sat 04-May-24 17:49:36

@singingnutty
Thankyou for coming back to tell us what you decided. You have chosen to move forward positively and I wish you all the best that life can bring as you recover flowers

silverlining48 Sat 04-May-24 18:38:11

I wish you well too singingnuttty. Good luck 🤞

silverlining48 Sat 04-May-24 18:40:02

Would just say that anyone who is about to start chemo make sure you get to the dentist for any treatment that may be needed, before you start. This advice was given to my dd.

Scribbles Sat 04-May-24 18:47:21

@ singingnutty - I just want to wish you all the very best now your decision is made. May you have a long, happy and healthy future with all the support you need.

Cossy Sat 04-May-24 19:21:46

I have no advice, just want to wish you well

crazyH Sun 05-May-24 20:39:07

singingnutty - I’ve been following this thread and thinking of you - I wish you all the best 🌼