Is anyone else as daft as me?

Hand cream

I once went away for a couple of days leaving my husband in charge of the children. I'd made a big bowl of egg custard so that he could make some ice cream in our new machine. When I got back the custard was still there and he'd frozen a big bowl of goose fat, the children said it tasted a bit like chicken but they'd eaten it!

Years back after a bath I was applying what i thought was canesten on my nether regions only to discover it was deep heat! You never see someone get into a bath so quickly Come to think of it I never did get thrush again.

sweetcakes

Years back after a bath I was applying what i thought was canesten on my nether regions only to discover it was deep heat! You never see someone get into a bath so quickly Come to think of it I never did get thrush again.

Ouch! Reminds me of when my mum put Deep Heat on my sunburn, she thought it was Cooltan. I got to the sea pretty quick!

Be thankful you didn't try to clean your teeth with a face cream.

My mother once went to a party, when I was a baby, wearing a nappy pin instead of a brooch.
Also, I have just discovered that I've knitted a sock with two heels. How???

Have done the chicken stock thing too!

I often dip my paint brush when painting watercolours, into my mug of coffee.

Using the best silver for tea and cake one afternoon, my guests were polite enough not to comment on the dreadful taste of silver cream polish. I only noticed when I had my cup of tea and spat it out (late DH loved cleaning silver, bless him).

DS when little, clambered up the kitchen units like a monkey and drank my bottle of Benilyn (drowsy). I discovered him flat out on the hearthrug. Rushed to hospital and ok. My fault I fear. Social services did not intervene😁
Thanks for the laughs.

My ex and his dad kindly decorated my first ever flat before I moved in.

The ex was there doing the final touches, and when he was finished, tried to bash the lid down on the big tin.

It wouldn't go down, so he stamped on it a couple of times, then his foot went right into the tin of paint

nanaK54

I once sprayed hair spray under arms instead of anti-perspirant

I did the same with the bathroom air freshener that lives next to my anti-perspirant!

Witzend

V3ra

My ‘best’ was probably pouring the stock from a chicken carcass (simmered for ages) into a colander over the sink, instead of into another saucepan? 😱

Witzend my husband caught me just in the nick of time before I made gravy with the chicken juices to serve to our vegan family members 🫣

Just out of interest, how do you make vegan gravy?

Well, Witzend, you gently sweat chopped onion, carrots, celery and any other aromatic vegetables you can find, plus a few herbs of your choice in a little oil. Once nicely softened, just add a little vegetable stock and some very finely diced vegans and simmer till tender - delicious!

My DS complained that his hair was getting greasier. I said it was just his age 14 at the time. I asked him what shampoo he was using. He told me the one in the yellow bottle. That was my conditioner for dry hair.

Juggernaut- i did same as your cousin in a café, all over my pie,chips& gravy.🤮

I put balsamic vinegar in muffins instead of maple syrup.
DH actually liked them.

grumpyoldwoman45

Witzend

V3ra

My ‘best’ was probably pouring the stock from a chicken carcass (simmered for ages) into a colander over the sink, instead of into another saucepan? 😱

Witzend my husband caught me just in the nick of time before I made gravy with the chicken juices to serve to our vegan family members 🫣

Just out of interest, how do you make vegan gravy?

Well, Witzend, you gently sweat chopped onion, carrots, celery and any other aromatic vegetables you can find, plus a few herbs of your choice in a little oil. Once nicely softened, just add a little vegetable stock and some very finely diced vegans and simmer till tender - delicious!

I find the vegans tend to stick to my teeth.

Daddima that is so funny!!! 😂

Only once? I've done that quite a few times.

Skydancer and LadyGracie - these are hilarious! 😂

Ladies - they were all a hit!! 🤣 But f I had to give awards, I would say 1) going to the Vet without the Pet, and 2) giving husband the tube of eyelash glue for his lips. (That should shut him up! 🤣 Hehe, Just kidding!

My daughter wanted to raise up a single bed to make room for storage underneath. I knew there was something that would do that so enquired in a shop that sold all sorts of mobility aids.

"Yes", the man said, "We do sell that sort of thing," and he showed me a catalogue. "They are called elephant feet - because of the shape of them," he said. "You put one elephant's foot underneath each leg of the bed and it will raise the bed up several inches."

Excellent I thought so I ordered a set. The man said it would be about a week before they came in.

About a week later whilst in town I thought I'd pop in to see if my order had arrived. It was a terrible day in the middle of winter - the wind was blowing, it was pouring with rain and my umbrella would not stay up.

I pushed open the door to the shop and said to the man at the desk, "I ordered some elephant feet recently and wondered if they are in yet?"

He looked rather puzzled. "Elephant feet?"

"Yes," I said, "I ordered them last week from a man here - it wasn't you though. They are on page 24 of your catalogue."

"Okaaaaay," said the man. "I'll go and check out the back." Off he went. I sat myself down on a chair, straightened my hair and wiped off my glasses. I looked around. The place looked somehow different to how I remembered it. Then, I read some signs on the wall..... I suddenly realised I was in the front office of a firm of accountants!

The man reappeared. Before he could say anything I sheepishly said, "I think I am in the wrong place aren't I?"

"Yes, Madam," he said. "I think you are."

I beat a hasty retreat.

In my defence, the shop I actually wanted was a few doors up and had the same sort of front door and the same type of bow window.

I often wonder if that man thinks of the crazy dishevelled woman who came into the office that day asking for elephant feet.

My df who is as scatty as the rest of us has just admitted that she hung out the washing on the line today and then looked for the next load in the dirty laundry bin.
There wasn't any as she had hung it out to dry!
She must have noticed it wasn't wet? Well yes you would think so but when you aren't concentrating... or should I be concerned 😟

Just the other day I knitted the 2nd ear of a dog hand puppet (don’t ask) and realised too late that I’d used 4mm needles instead of 3.25. So the ears don’t match. 😩

I will hang on to it though, so if and when I make another dog and doglet pair, I’ll make a larger lug to match.

I loved that, Skydancer! And you’ve done the bloke a favour - imagine how he’s going to enjoy telling the story of The Woman Who Ordered Elephant Feet, for ever!

Having received a huge bunch iof rhubarb from my lovely generous neighbour I proceeded to make lovely tarts ,only at the eating did we discover I'd used salt instead of sugar.

Fortunately she's a good sport, a d gave me another lot of rhubarb and a bag of sugar[.What a 👧