Palliative care at home advice

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Should read
Doodle thinking of you and your dear husband this morning as always. Sending you love and hugs.

Many thanks for taking the time to respond. The hospice is looking more likely. Dwmxwg nice to know. Thank you

Doodle Such a difficult time for you both. I agree with Whiff the hospice sounds the best option. Sending strength and hugs.

Doodle xxx

I hope you can get help and support to care for your DH, I did not receive any help at all.
I was denied nursing help and was told a hospice place was out of the question. When I was on my knees from exhaustion I asked for a private nursing home place which I was prepared to pay for. I was told I still had to apply through adult social services and be given permission.
I will never forgive the NHS, DH did not deserve to be treated like that.

Bump

So sorry you met with such a lack of compassion Harrigran.

Doodle, so sorry to hear you need palliative care for your DH.
My experience of palliative care last year for my DH was very good. He came home at the beginning of June after being in hospital since January.
I refused to let him go into a care home, l wasn't offered an hospice, solely because the one choice l had was miles away and l don't drive so couldn't be with him.
I live in a 2 bed terraced house, very small. The hospital bed went into the living room looking out onto the garden.
We had carers 4 times a day plus a live in carer. It was much easier than l thought it would be, once we had a routine. All the carers were kind, lovely people. They were gentle and respectfully towards my husband. DH was so pleased to be home even though he was very ill. It enabled my son and granddaughter to come whenever they wanted , to say all they needed to say. We had almost 6 weeks together before he died and this has helped me to cope since he has been gone.
I am so sorry Harrigran that you were denied any help with your DH. What an awful experience.
I will be thinking of you Doodle.

Harrigran I’m so sorry you didn’t get the help you needed.
We are waiting for a hospice place. Be nice to have a different view than the hospital curtains. No windows here.
Thank you Mayal

Thanks for all your good wishes.

Doodle

Doodle I couldn’t just pass by.

Thank you. Pretty rough morning.

Sending you my best wishes, Doodle. DD had hospice care at the end of her life and they couldn’t have done more for her and us.

DH wanted to die at home and the same hospice provided excellent end of life care for him and support for me.

I too had a negative experience with Macmillan on both occasions. It was our district nursing team that put all the wheels in motion for DH. Hospice at Home took over when I needed round the clock help.

Sending you and Mr Doodle all my very best wishes, Doodle

Thank you both.
DH just on pain meds now.

Oh, it's so hard..
Awful time for you.

Gentle Doodle hugs x

It isn't a situation I had to face. By the time it became obvious that DH was terminal he was already unaware of what was going on and only had days at most. I don't think the consultant would have let me take him home, he wanted to look after him. The main thing that struck me was that DH was a large and heavy man and was continually sliding down the bed and needing to be pulled back and made comfortable. There was no way I could have moved him on my own but I only had to press the button and two male nurses would come in to do it. He was put in adult nappies so there was no messing about with catheters. I know a friend of mine used to have awful problems with her husband's catheter blocking. I think the main problem with palliative care at home is that it can be hard physical work, but doable if you have support.

Doodle Sending you and your husband my very best wishes.

Love and a hug from me doodle. Thinking of you both.

Doodle, like many others here my thoughts are with you and your husband. My only experience is of a close family member who had palliative care in his own home. It was exhausting for his wife - even with the help she received! A hospice place was not available and he didn't want to go even if he could. He died in hospital - not a good end to his life. The message from the hospice nurse has brought tears to my eyes this morning . Such a kind message and as the nurse says it is your decision, I just wish my family member had been in hospice care , and received the umbrella support a hospice can give. Sending you
(((hugs))) and strength.

Long day today after dreadful night last night. Good news is DH got into hospice today. It’s lovely here and so peaceful. Just hoping they can help with pain relief. x

I’m sure they will, Doodle and it will give you comfort as well.

We are here.