FIRST SIGNS OF AUTISM?

I always remember when I did some autism training years ago and given this advice.

You either have autism or you don't. It is like being pregnant, you may feel sick in morning, your periods may even stop but it doesn't mean you are pregnant. Some people, like my grandson, have traits of autism but he does not have autism.

At pre-school his parents were told he seemed a 'little' autistic. I agreed that he did have traits but my son was adamant the pre-school were wrong. They then had a nightmare few months ending in a visit to a specialist who said no, he wasn't autistic and the pre-school were wrong.
Fast forward to his now starting secondary school after being very happy and achieving in primary school. The records were still there from pre-school and on a visit to the secondary school he underwent an assessment without my son's knowledge. He was very angry as you can imagine and made a fuss which in the end led to an apology.
It can be a minefield. My son and his wife went through a lot of distress at this time and I learned to keep out of it. In this recent episode I just listened, and did not interfere at all.
I suggest you take a step back too and let things take their course.
No amount of box ticking or labelling will change the fact that he is your grandson and you love him.

There may be some other reason he screams when picked up.Is there a sore bit somewhere, Skin? Joint? Bone. Internal organ?

Is he passing urine okay? Constipation? Good diet? Thirsty?
Do the parent themselves speak a lot, and clearly?

Love your daughter and grandson - let others do the worrying.

My son was non verbal from the beginning, my daughter was lively and full of chat, but they say girls mask it, she was diagnosed til last year, and she’s 13 now. I think my niece is autistic, she has a lot of similar traits to my son, but I say nothing, because my brother and sister in law obviously don’t want to see it and that’s their call. I’ve noticed in the school system some parents just don’t want to get the diagnosis, my kids are treated differently, unfortunately that’s the way it is. They are awesome kids and will find their way. I think just leave it to your daughter and son in law, the health visitor was the one who flagged it with us for my son, it was a real surprise because he was our first and we had no idea what to look for.