Grandchildren on sugar dominant diet

Help please! Give me your advice from your experience! Thank you!

Some of my great gs get this,too. I keep my mouth shut but I am secretly horrified. Very young parents, admittedly, but they weren’t brought up like that . Sigh.

Is your son aware and just isn't bothered - or have they gradually drifted into this way of eating incrementally and he's not truly seen it?

Does he notice?

I worry about diabetes, poor bone development, dental problems and all the rest which go with a beige diet and social skills. Mum has very few.

Do you mean she has poor teeth? Or do you mean she has poor social skills? Are you concerned about the children eating in public/at friends' homes?
Are the children seeing a dentist?
I'm surprised the lunch boxes are allowed.

This could be a description of my family. Now I don't worry so much because they are doing well at school and never have time off, they are healthy and happy kids.
They may be storing up problems for the future- who knows? They may not be either.

Interestingly a graph appeared yesterday showing the average height in children dropped significantly under the last government. The youngest GC is very small compared to the older ones. Is diet the factor here?

I can’t give advice as it seems the pattern is set. Unfortunately neither can you, because it’s up to the parents. I totally get your concerns, but I don’t think you can do anything about it except offer healthy food when they visit you.
I’m sorry.

Peanut butter is a good protein,its hard to do anything , it’s up to the parents

I don't know what anyone can advise you to do, really. They are not your children, and the only choices you have are to give them food of which you approve when they are with you, to speak to the parents, which will almost certainly be seen as interfering, or to bite your tongue.

You could do the first of those things in conjunction with either of the others.

Apart from that, realistically there is nothing you can do. Food is a personal thing, and cuts to the heart of parenting. My daughter was a very picky eater, and we discovered she was swapping the healthy food in her lunchbox for unhealthy choices. So that she would at least have calories to get her through the day, I put lemon curd sandwiches in her lunch box for a while, and made sure she had a healthy meal when she got home. This worked, until the Head Teacher sent me a really patronising note with a leaflet about nutrition and food groups. I can honestly say that the only other criticism I remember of my parenting was when someone commented about breastfeeding, knowing that I wasn't able to breastfeed my babies. In both cases it cut to the quick.

Nurturing is such an important part of parenting, probably more so with mothers, and from the hint you've given about your relationship with your DIL, I suspect you could be storing up trouble if you mention it to her.

I am wondering whether these sweet treats were to keep the children happy during their visit to you. Did they do their own cooking at your place? Maybe they just used easy meals to avoid being a nuisance in your kitchen.

Someone I know has a daughter and son in law in very high powered jobs on another continent with 2 small children. They came to stay last year and were so badly behaved screaming well into the night with open windows, damaging their grandparent's chairs, shouting and eating all sorts of junk food. Neighbour next door went and complained as they could not sleep because of the uncontrolled racket. Noise stopped immediately once complaint received. Grandparents do nothing as parents become aggressive towards them if they say anything and they are worried they won't see them anymore.

I too am surprised at the school packed lunches as I understood there are guidelines. It is hard to understand how two teachers, who must be aware of the effect of UPF foods on children's behaviour can feed their own children so badly. I have no suggestions though, other than feeding your DGC better food when they are with you.

Packed lunches account for 5 meals a week for 41 weeks a year and I agree schools spend too much time agonising about the contents of lunch boxes rather than education.
Sounds as though the parents are career-orientated at the expense of their children; surprisingly common in teacher parents.
Little you can do other than impose your meal choices when they stay with you.

Mmmn maybe shysal - we used to take :easy to eat" and "quick to cook up" things (admittedly more healthy) to my in-laws when we stayed with them as a family of 7 as they fed the children very small portions and the older ones were always hungry there.
We also kept a large box of apples under a rug in the boot of the car, for emergencies!

Here are some very valuable tools to help you:

Dr Chris van Tulleken did a lot of research on ultra processed foods and there was a TV programme. He ate UPF for 30 days and the results were shocking. Here is a shortened 9 minute version of the programme. If you can get them to watch this maybe it will be a wake up call, especially the last part where the scientist tells him the effect on his brain.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4PFt4czJw0

He has also written this book. You can't make them read it but could just give it to them.
Ultra-Processed People: why do we all eat stuff that isn't food...and why can't we stop?

There is also this talk:
Royal Institution talk by Chris Van Tulleken

Hope these will be of help. It's only by making them realise what they are doing that you will get a change, and if they won't listen to you maybe they will listen to a doctor.

Do not give the parents the books or links above. It will be taken as a personal criticism by your son and his wife, which of course it would be.

All you can do is tomake sure that any food you prepare is sugar free and healthy, and possibly think of cookery things to do with the children.

How often do they stay with you? Perhaps the parents (and children) looked on the visit as a holiday where normal rules don't apply. Do you visit them and see the same?
Children out of their normal environment will get cranky and act up. Perhaps the parents were attempting to keep them happy. I see nothing wrong with peanut butter nor pancakes. Fish fingers and chicken nuggets are pretty standard child friendly food too. You obviously don't like your daughter in law as you say she has "very few social skills " I wonder if this is a subtle way to criticise her. My daughter and son in law don't routinely eat with the children in the evening but eat later. They prefer it that way.
In short, we don't know enough about your family dynamics to comment on the situation. You need to be very careful if you interfere.

I share your pain Gran3rdgen

One of my AC, university educated, seems to have a blind spot where good nutrition is concerned and seems to think that a chocolate pancake for breakfast before school is an acceptable breakfast. I have learned to keep my lip zipped.
Monica is right, don't offer anything that would likely cause offence but you might just have a copy of the book lying around and mention that you found it fascinating.....

M0nica

Do not give the parents the books or links above. It will be taken as a personal criticism by your son and his wife, which of course it would be.

All you can do is tomake sure that any food you prepare is sugar free and healthy, and possibly think of cookery things to do with the children.

I agree with you M0nica. Nothing worse than interfering nannas and granddads.

Absolutely. Trying to interfere will only backfire on the OP. All you can do is try to encourage them to eat healthily when they are staying with you. We're lucky in that our grandson eats a fairly healthy diet anyway, and at six years old, he's already aware of what is and isn't healthy. I'm not saying he never eats sweets (we took him away in the motorhome earlier this week and he did have some 'treats' as it was a wee holiday for him) but when asked what he wanted for lunch, he asked for a wrap with some lettuce, cucumber and cheese on it, followed by apples and grapes.

If the 7 year old had always been fed this diet they would not be thriving so this may have just been while staying at yours.

The parents presumably are intelligent enough and can financially afford a healthy diet so this is what they are choosing and not through ignorance or necessity , I dont think you saying what you think will change anything.

I think baby led weaning is the cause of so many problems today. We keep our mouths zipped.

My children all ate a good diet as children. Middle 2 GC do as well. Eldest GD and youngest 2 GC eat mainly rubbish. Though all of them eat a lot of fruit. Middle 2 are good with veg. I am horrified by how many choc bars and snacks the 2 youngest are allowed. DGD3(age 5) is worse than DGS2(age 3). She will only eat macaroni cheese and M&S mini pizza when here. DD2, their mother, never had a sweet tooth till she was an adult. She once had a tantrum in a supermarket age 3, when I wouldn’t buy her salmon canapés. 2 elderly ladies were in hysterics with laughter.

If we didn’t eat what we were given as children we went hungry.

The most important thing is: did you enjoy the visit? Have a good relationship with them?

Their diet is their parents to manage. You worrying about it won't do anything

Glammagran my daughter did baby led weaning and dgs1 eats the healthiest diet by choice. Dd did a degree in Health and Nutrition and has an in depth knowledge and understanding around BLW. She started at six months with broccoli and avocado. So I wouldn't rush to blame BLW. There's a proliferation of snack food available now which there never used to be

Keep your mouth shut, firmly.