Gransnet forums

Health

Grandchildren on sugar dominant diet

(51 Posts)
Gran3rdgen Fri 19-Jul-24 09:46:29

So our son and his young family (7,5 &2) stayed with us for a week. They are very much helicopter parents until it comes to the kids’ diet.
Pancakes with jam or choc spread, peanut butter and sprinkles for break fast, lunch and tea. Add in a few chicken nuggets or fish fingers with waffles here and there. No protein otherwise, no veg except very occasionally sweetcorn, only strawberries.
Packed lunch for school.. choc spread, crisps, a packet of sweets and wafers.
Constant sugar filled snacks after any activity - ice cream (double scoop) or cereal choc bar perhaps 10 minutes before lunch or tea which they then don’t eat but still receive another sweet treat as a pudding.
The worst was last night a choc cereal bar at 8pm. They never say no to anything and the kids run the agenda.
They never eat with the kids (and they do eat sensibly making most food from scratch) always plugging them in to a device so all 5 are plugged in 3 times a day.
They are all slim but they very definitely have sugar rushes followed by horrendous lows of screaming. Only cordial is drunk either diluted or from boxes.
Both very clever adults in responsible careers (teacher) who were never brought up this way. I was too lazy to cook several meals each teatime.
I worry about diabetes, poor bone development, dental problems and all the rest which go with a beige diet and social skills. Mum has very few.
They refuse to try any new foods and parents give in immediately. The kids always have a choice so are choosing the option they know. Help please. This has gone beyond reasonable. When the first was born mum and dad cooked all from scratch and froze it as most parents do but now the snacks and food are all from £ shops.

MissInterpreted Fri 19-Jul-24 12:41:53

Grandmabatty

Glammagran my daughter did baby led weaning and dgs1 eats the healthiest diet by choice. Dd did a degree in Health and Nutrition and has an in depth knowledge and understanding around BLW. She started at six months with broccoli and avocado. So I wouldn't rush to blame BLW. There's a proliferation of snack food available now which there never used to be

Have to agree with you. I know several parents who did baby-led weaning and their children now eat a much healthier diet than many of their classmates.

Cossy Fri 19-Jul-24 12:42:17

Unless you’re actually living with them, or seeing them everyday you may have a slightly wrong impression of their overall diet.

I’m interested to know how you know what’s in their lunch boxes and I’m surprised the school hasn’t mentioned it.

Pancakes with peanut butter is an ok breakfast, my older son lived on peanut butter for years and years, he’s now 38 and no health issues.

I’d say nothing, it does seem a rather heavy carb/sugar diet but there again they seem healthy enough now. Teachers are very busy and maybe in the hols it’s a different story?

Don’t worry to much, it’s the parents business I’m afraid

glammagran Fri 19-Jul-24 12:44:58

Grandmabatty

Glammagran my daughter did baby led weaning and dgs1 eats the healthiest diet by choice. Dd did a degree in Health and Nutrition and has an in depth knowledge and understanding around BLW. She started at six months with broccoli and avocado. So I wouldn't rush to blame BLW. There's a proliferation of snack food available now which there never used to be

All went well until they started to refuse most food after their 2nd birthdays. Prior to that they’d eaten most things offered. Younger one now has started eating some meat like mince again, chicken skewers and prawns but eldest eats no meat or eggs but loves cheese. Youngest can’t as he is sensitive to egg.

I’m always envious to hear of your DGS’s eating soup. I always make my own, varied ones but so far they refuse to even taste any of them.

paddyann54 Fri 19-Jul-24 12:48:48

Have you tried involving the oldest two in the food prep and cooking? Mine all cooked from a young age and were happy to eat what they produced.I have a GD who bakes with me every Thursday we started with pancakes and cupcakes angprogressed to savouries .Shes happy to eat home made anything as long as she gets to feel the textures and taste ingredients as she goes The youngest will likely eat it if his siblings have made it and are eating it

Mollygo Fri 19-Jul-24 12:55:01

Gran3rdgen

It’s difficult, but best not to interfere. Just try to enjoy their visits.

Re BLW
Two of my grandchildren started with BLW. One went on to eat a regular diet, the other around 18 moths-two years refused food became the pickiest eater in our family and stayed that way until KS3.
If it works, it works . . .
If it doesn’t, it doesn’t, regardless of whether or not you have studied nutrition.

Chestnut Fri 19-Jul-24 12:56:00

M0nica

Do not give the parents the books or links above. It will be taken as a personal criticism by your son and his wife, which of course it would be.

All you can do is tomake sure that any food you prepare is sugar free and healthy, and possibly think of cookery things to do with the children.

Surely this depends on the relationship you have with your children and the way you discuss things. You can't make a blanket comment like that when you have no idea.

Some people know how to approach things and how to talk to each other, some don't.

MissInterpreted Fri 19-Jul-24 13:29:36

paddyann54

Have you tried involving the oldest two in the food prep and cooking? Mine all cooked from a young age and were happy to eat what they produced.I have a GD who bakes with me every Thursday we started with pancakes and cupcakes angprogressed to savouries .Shes happy to eat home made anything as long as she gets to feel the textures and taste ingredients as she goes The youngest will likely eat it if his siblings have made it and are eating it

I did this with both of my own children and now my GS. Even as a toddler, I would let him cut up some of the veg for granny's home-made soup (with an appropriate toddler-safe knife, of course) and he's always loved eating whatever he's helped to make. Just yesterday, he helped his papa dig up some of the tatties which he'd also helped to plant earlier in the year and we had them with steak pie for dinner. He loves to help make his own pizza too - and although I know it's not the healthiest of foods, at least making it from scratch we know what's gone into it and it's better than a shop-bought one.

welbeck Fri 19-Jul-24 13:32:27

i think it must be lovely for a child to be involved in the preparation of meals.
i never had that experience.

NotSpaghetti Fri 19-Jul-24 13:58:03

Grandmabatty I thought this comment might actually be referring to her teeth.
❓️

aonk Fri 19-Jul-24 15:01:22

The only way you could possibly make a difference would be to serve healthy food at your house if they come to visit. Also involve them in cooking and shopping for ingredients. If you have a garden could you grow something they might enjoy such as strawberries?

Grandmabatty Fri 19-Jul-24 15:10:31

Not spaghetti you can begin baby led weaning before teeth arrive! They just use their gums. But not before some other reflex to do with swallowing has kicked in. It used to give me the fear when dgs1 started and would gag but dd was extremely cool and explained the technique to me

NotSpaghetti Fri 19-Jul-24 15:17:27

I know BLW Grandmabatty.
I'm referring to the comment about "social skills" of the mum.

Please see my comments at 9.58am.

Grandmabatty Fri 19-Jul-24 15:26:37

Not spaghetti my apologies. I had misunderstood. Gotcha.

Steelygran Fri 19-Jul-24 16:05:10

Your son and his family seem to me to be fairly typical. When bringing my own children up I was often stressed and short of time. Their diet was reasonably good but not as good as I'd have liked because I had to cut corners. Sugar is so addictive and of course sometimes it's easier and less stressful to just give the children what they like. I agree with you it's not healthy and neither is plugging them into devices all the time.
My own mother would have thought nothing of giving me her opinion on what I fed my children, but I agree with other posters it's best not to interfere. If I were you, I'd be more inclined to talk to both parents about my own difficulties in cutting down on sugar, on trying to limit it to one sweet treat a day, or just at weekends, and my aims to take some exercise every day for my present and future health. Good luck.

PaperMonster Fri 19-Jul-24 18:03:12

Not sure how BLW can be the cause of this. I would just make sure that you prepare really healthy and tasty home made food at your house when they visit. Then they might ask for it at home. Just out of curiosity what would you prefer them to eat for breakfast? I work in a primary school and we don’t have the time to monitor lunch boxes, but what some children bring horrifies me. However I’m sure some would be horrified by the contents of my secondary school age daughter’s lunch box - but it’s better than what’s on offer at school.

Iam64 Fri 19-Jul-24 18:13:49

It’s possible their usual diet is healthier. Being away from home is a holiday and routines get loose. In any event all we grans can do is offer relaxed family time and avoid judgement. Two of my grandchildren eat anything enthusiastically, two are picky. They are cousins with a picky eater in both families - vegetable aaargh. Their mums make clever pasta with veg disguised
I don’t like imposing on parents and certainly not the children. One of our picky eaters is 8 and developing a real interest in gymnastics and running. This has led to him listening to advice about bone strength and calories. He talks about healthy eating and is gradually less picky

Allsorts Fri 19-Jul-24 18:15:50

Its an awful, lazy way to feed children, there is however nothing you can do, except not having sugary foods in your house. For breakfast no sugar cereal, fruit, beans on toast, loads of healthy alternatives, they wont starve.

LizzieDrip Fri 19-Jul-24 18:19:28

My daughter did BLW with her two sons - it was completely new to me. They are both strapping teenagers now with healthy varied diets - by choice. Neither of them are bothered about sweet foods and they happily eat vegetables, good protein etc. Neither are bothered about junk food such as Macdonalds etc. This hasn’t really been enforced on them by their parents; it just sort of evolved, and I do believe the BLW was the start - although the whole family do eat healthily.

As others have said OP, I think you’ll have to keep your views to yourself. TBH I wasn’t that sure about BLW but I kept schtum and I’ve been proved wrong. Maybe have healthy, but fun, snacks available when they visit you.

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 19-Jul-24 18:25:00

My 13 month old GD has been here today. She eats whatever we/the parents eat, and at the same time, all together. Today was -
Breakfast - cheese omelette, a banana
Snack - a few strawberries, cup of milk
Lunch - Roast chicken breast, broccoli, carrots and rice (DH and I had a chicken sandwich)
Snack - a rusk, a raspberry muffin I'd made
Dinner - spaghetti bolognese, made from scratch

Her 14 year old sister (different dads, baby is my son's) only eats chicken nuggets, burgers, fishfingers, noodles and such.

Children need to sit with adults at mealtimes, from an early age.

CanadianGran Fri 19-Jul-24 19:04:15

Gran3rdgen, it's hard when you don't have your grandchildren to meals often, there's only so much you can do. Lead by example when they are at your house.

You can suggest a healthy meal plan or gift of a cookbook, but you do risk being seen as interfering.

I was just visiting my daughter for a week, and did quite a bit of the cooking while I was there. My 8yr old GS won't eat potatoes other than frozen-french fry, but I did cook some new potatoes, then cut and roasted them with herbs. I told him they were french-fries, just in a different shape, and he ate them up. His mum gave me the raised-eyebrow while he was eating, impressed that he was fooled!

If you are close to them, can you cook and deliver some meals or treats with healthy ingredients? A co-worker has a fussy 5 yr old, and she baked up some chocolate brownies made with black beans and dates.

Esmay Fri 19-Jul-24 21:15:54

I hate to write it , but the slightest criticism of the way that your grandchildren are brought up provokes World War 3 .

My friends all say the same thing .

My grandchildren aren't allowed any junk food and only a pure diet .
It's great , but when they were babies they cried all the time .
I'm convinced that they were hungry .

I've spent hours gently teasing out knots from my granddaughter's waist length hair -to be told it's not necessary . It had to be cut short in the end .
Neither is pressing her clothes .
She likes them ironed !
Or getting her to do her home work .
The school finally read the riot act and she learnt to read aged nine plus .

My grandson has no boundaries and I've had a mouthful of abuse if I've suggested that running around restaurants isn't a great idea .
He nearly tripped a waitress up with a tray of glasses .
He's allowed to throw ornaments at my father's old and
much treasured china collection , wipe his dirty hands on the curtains and pull them down and even throw stones at his cousin .
Recently , a relative has actually moved away because she finds caring for him a battle with his parents and now he has become rude and disrespectful towards her .

One of my friends isn't allowed to touch her granddaughter despite living in the same house . She's two .

I have several friends , who aren't allowed to see or send presents to their grandchildren - they couldn't provide child care or a cash incentive .
Some of them don't know what they did wrong .

If your grandchildren seem well and happy on an appalling diet -I wouldn't worry too much .
Hopefully the Dentist will lecture them on the importance of less sugar and more oral hygiene .
And perhaps , the school will address the sugary diet problem .
Hopefully , they won't become sick .

Gran3rdgen Sun 21-Jul-24 21:07:45

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply so comprehensively. Yes, this diet is daily and not just when visiting. I do agree there is little we can say but it is sooooooo difficult.

tickingbird Sun 21-Jul-24 21:37:19

OP I share your pain. My grandchildren are the same. Addicted to sugar and eat processed food all the time. It horrifies me and I worry no end what harm it’s doing to them. One is already overweight at 12 with man boobs. Youngest is thin as a rake and has such a limited diet (he’s on the spectrum). I hate feeding them as they will only eat rubbish and I don’t like serving it up to them but they would rather go without than eat anything vaguely nutritious.

I wish I could advise you but I don’t have the answer.

Cold Sun 21-Jul-24 21:47:31

So are you sure that this is there normal diet or was this "holiday" eating because they were spending a week with you?

keepingquiet Mon 22-Jul-24 09:28:43

I had a conversation a few days ago about how when we were kids everything was covered in sugar. We both said even strawberries came with a sprinkling of sugar! We had sugar on porridge etc, even kids came to school sometimes with sugar sandwiches!
I once went to Ireland and had fried bread with icing sugar on!
Every kitchen table had a sugar bowl.
When I serve refreshments in the church hall we always have sugar for people to help themsleves.
My daughter never buys sugar, but does buy lots of things with sugar added. Is this the difference?