Black Dog 23

Candy Thankyou for your kind words to me. I think you were due that unexciting day and a rest with a glass of wine.
HVDY Oh you poor thing ,yesterday, and you tried so hard with Littlegirl going with your husband to playcentre. You had a huge 'detox' with all the water too.Hope the bug or whatever has all gone and you've been OK today.
Scaredycat Such lovely posts to us all.
LOVED your ' A stitch out of place turns a grim into a grimace' So true.
Your covid must be truly pants - sorry still testing positive. That and your AF must be a double whammy. Big hug.
Doodle Hope you've not had too bad a day today and had a bit of company. I'm sure the tears must wring you out with emotion though they need to come . I feel so much for you. Wish I had words to help ease your grief. Sending love and a comforting hug.x
Wyllow You will be exhausted trying to pull yourself out of the hole you're in.
I hear what you say about the countryside not helping which is is the opposite of what is usually advised by Dr's ect. Apart from ex related sad memories I wonder if the numbness of your being somehow is a comfort and you don't want to 'awaken' and feel.
Sorry if that sounds stupid. Hope you've had some brighter spot in your day today.

Sorry, kept brief today. Felt dreadful when I woke so went back to bed but couldn't sleep. Forced myself out to supermarket with DH for bits. Aches and shooting pains everywhere so spent all afternoon on sofa with painkillers. Can't think v well . Another day tomorrow.

Love to all and those not mentioned here. Always thinking of you, especially when not 'in' .

Scaredycat you must be fed up feeling so bad. Hope you are on the mend soon. Good sign if your DH is feeling better.
My art class is a real boon. Brightens up my week.
Are you doing anything at the moment or not feeling up to it?
HVDY can’t help talking to DH to be honest. I just keep saying the things we used to say to each other. Blow kisses to where he used to sit in his chair.
Oh poor you not feeling well like that you must be exhausted.
Hope the effects are wearing off now and you’re beginning to feel a bit better.
Wyllow it will take a while to get used to your worker and her to you too. Glad you got out, hard to be motivated but keep in plodding on.
Candy I have a glass of wine in the evening too. It relaxes me. Not much fun this weather is it. I can’t read at the moment. Can’t concentrate enough.
Sweetpeasue hope you and your DH have been ok.
I’ve been out for dinner tonight with a friend, it was nice. Too wet to do much today so we just stayed in and did some craft.

Sorry Sweetpeasue just seen your last post. You’ve not been well today either, what is it with all on BD you’re all so poorly.
Hope the pains wear off and you feel better soon.

No wonder you didnt come in yesterday HVDY after the night and the very upset tum. I hope today has been better.

I’m sorry to hear that you aren’t better Scardeycat, you must be right, the AF doesn’t help at all.
Your kindness makes a difference to me, yes if there were the right words….

“Awakening” as you put it sometimes brings thoughts I have to guard against Sweetpeasue is why am stuck.
You’ve had a tough day today, haven’t you? When its like that the sofa and painkillers ar the only option. Hope you wake tomorrow feeling a little better.

I also have a glass of wine in the evening Doodle. Glad you had dinner with a friend, and crafts, hugs for your great sadnesses.

Been aching and tired all day, only slept a bit last night as cleaner comes early and had to get ready and put on a presentable mood, so no getting out today.

Love to BD’s not in today, but on my mind.

ScaredyCat. How long does Covid last these days? I hope you'll be better very soon

SweetpeaSue You had a rough day. Hope you'll feel much better today. I think we could all do with having a holiday somewhere warm (if only).

Doodle Did you go somewhere for dinner, or did your friend cook? Doing crafts sounds a nice way to spend an evening.

Wyllow3 Having to put on a front to people (cleaner) must be draining. I hope you have a better day today.

I was so hungry yesterday, I ate TWO of DH's oven chips at lunchtime. Upset stomach 10 times until bedtime. Just had some dry bread, hope it will settle down. Son1 is doing a buffet tomorrow, for his youngest girl's birthday, so I need to get ok for that. Hope ALL BDers manage to see some sunshine today (it's beautiful here) x

Wyllow Correct me if wrong but I think it was yourself that has ME/CFS isn't it? You do have a lot to contend with on top of poorly gut and your MH illness. Hope you've had a better day. Thankyou I'm substantially better today
and able to get some shopping and ironing done.
I'm sorry you having to guard against painful thoughts and memories. You didn't deserve any of the abuse you suffered with your ex. You are worth so very much more .❤️
HVDY Hope you're feeling much better today - especially for that barbecue. Has anyone else around you been affected? Fingers crossed rest of family will be OK.
Funny you mentioned holidays. We booked another after our spring one (lambs) and it's come round - will be next Saturday, same place. Lovely day here today too though colder.
Scaredycat How are you both today?
Hopefully turning a corner- touch luck!
Doodle* EllieAnne* Candy*Whiff and any not personally mentioned hope everyone has been OK.

SweetpeaSue Glad you're feeling better today. I need to tackle some ironing but can't be bothered. I still had an upset stomach until about 11am. I ate a couple of slices of dry bread and a bag of plain crisps and have been ok since. DH feels nauseous so has been in bed until 30 minutes ago. Not seen anyone else. I'll go to Son1's buffet tomorrow even if DH doesn't I remember the photos you posted from that holiday. It should be a nice break for you both. It's been sunny here but cold.

HVDY no my friend and I went to the local pub for a meal. It was really nice and made a change to go out.
Hope you’re feeling better today and ok for the party. Toast is supposed to be good for you and plain rice.
Oh dear sounds like your DH has caught the bug now. Hope you’re both fit for tomorrow.
Sweetpeasue hope you trip next weekend goes well. How long are you going for?
Scaredycat any sign of improvement today. Hope you’re feeling a bit better.
Wyllow did you manage today ok with the cleaner? Hope you slept ok last night.
I’ve had a nice day. Been out with friend to visit another friend and we had a lovely afternoon sitting in the sunshine.
Ellie Anne and Candy hope you are getting on ok.

Sorry I ve not been here much . Things in house are still strained.
Met a friend yesterday and unusually we spoke about some personal stuff like my difficult father and the effect my childhood had on me, as well as my current issues..I was able to tell her that living like this makes me feel dead inside. But it has brought up many bad memories . She cdnt understand why I don’t tell him things but I tried to explain it comes from years of lack of interest made more difficult now by having to repeat everything or shout. Feeling very fragile tonight.

Ellie Anne can’t come up with anything to help but sending you a big hug. x

Doodle I love going to the pub for a meal. Hope you had a pudding as well . A District Nurse once told me that plain (ready salted) crisps were good. My husband hasn't had any D or V, so he might be ok (he never gets colds or anything but eats a lot of processed foods).

EllieAnne I'm sorry things are so unhappy for you. Your friend is probably like me, can't see how you can live like that. Would there be any way for you to get a place alone, to rent?

HVDY Glad you've stabilised but looks as if your husband not well. Hoping you can both go to son's tomorrow. Holiday is for a week - can't cancel but we're determined to go even if we can't stay as long.
Doodle love and hugs and hoping for a peaceful night for you.
EllieAnne I'm so sorry you are feeling bad. Seems like you've opened up to your friend which although might have stirred up things from the past might help to have someone who knows how terrible you feel. I haven't any answers but do feel for you. Hoping you'll feel more able to cope in the morning. Nights are always worse for worries. Thinking of you.

I''ve caught up with you all today, just so bad physically and mentally can't write much. What you said, Sweetpeasue re the physical stuff ongoing too.

Hugs to you all, and I'm glad you came in Ellie Anne to share and speak out.

Night night all.

Hi All.
We,ve tested negative today😀 had a walk to celebrate and now done in but the fresh air felt lovely. So HVDY that was just over a week of Covid .
SweetPeaSue- so glad you felt better yesterday and were able to get out and do stuff.
Also very pleased that you have a holiday to look forward to.. It was The Lakes in the Spring wasn’t it.It will look beautiful with the Autumn colours starting. Loved the positivity in your
words too- let that beautiful place help heal you and you both relax.
Doodle- haven’t done any Art since the lovely man who kept us all together through COVID sadly died. But still see the ladies quite often for coffee or lunch.
I,m so glad you persevered with your Class - you seem very comfortable there now.Yesterday sounded a good day too- you so deserve some happier times Doodle. You are achieving such a lot and your friends obviously think the world of you- as do we.
HVDY- I do hope you,ve been able to get to the BBQ- also that DH has managed it too. Hope your DGD likes her surprise pressies.
You must feel really empty now after a few days of not eating properly. I think the salt in the crisps was probably what your body needed.
Spoke to my Sister today for the first time in a few weeks as we had been away and then she lost her voice!! She is doing so well Despite all her family worries etc. She looks really well now - she is so brave and kind. Hope your SiL is happy in her own little world still and your Bro managing ok.
EllieAnne- I wish there was something I could say that would give you some hope. Glad you were able to open up to your friend- you really do need to have some companiable times.
It seems to me it would be better to live alone than be so lonely in your house with your husband. Constantly walking on eggshells too. Your own space would give you peace. But I know it’s not as simple as that. Take care.
Wyllow- Sad for you today. Your physical and MH are so intertwined aren’t they.
As HVDY said having to put on a brave face is exhausting for you- but somehow you manage to do it although at great cost to your energy and well being.
Your new worker needs to see you as you are and then she may be able to see a way to help open up new doors for you.
I,m probably talking pants but like all of us want to help you.
BIG HUG xx
Love to all those mentioned and those not. X

Wyllow No worry- about writing much. Just hope each day brings you a smidgen forward mentally.
Scaredycat Glad the Germy house is open. You did well to get out for a walk. Just heard my sis and her partner have tested pos for Covid too. So good to hear your sis is looking well.
The lakes should look beautiful with autumn colours and light- were looking forward to it.
Doodle Hope you've had company today. Sending a 🫂 and love. Often in my thoughts.
HVDY Do hope you were both alright for your son's barbecue- it would be such a shame if your DH couldn't go but hopefully he's not too bad.
Nadateturbe Thinking of you and hoping you're little better. x

Son invited us for Sunday dinner today, along with his MIL. It was really lovely( he makes the very best yorkshires). Nice to chat with his MIL too. DGS there and fluffball under the table.
Still aches n pains.
Hoping all are have had a decent weekend and have a peaceful night.

HVDY sadly the pub doesn’t do puddings mind you I was so full I couldn’t have eaten one anyway. Did you manage to go to yours sons today. Hope the birthday girl had a good time.
Sweetpeasue what a nice day you’ve had with your family. Your meal sounds lovely I do like a roast.
Wyllow sorry you’ve had a bad time. Not sure what to say to be honest. I’m trying to keep my head above water and I know it’s not easy. Hope tomorrow is a better day.
Scaredycat at last. Hope you’re feeling much better now.
Thank you for your kind comments. I enjoy my art class. Had a good day today. Church and chat then out with friend for coffee. Just trying not to get too down tonight. I can feel the sadness hovering in the background already had tears a couple of times so trying to calm down ready for bed.
So glad you got to go out today. Hope you enjoyed your walk.

ScaredyCat Glad you're both better now. Being stuck indoors for a week must have been driving you mad (my husband loves to stay in ). I'm pleased that your sister now seems to be doing and looking well. It sounds bad, but I haven't seen my bother since June - when we paid for a pub lunch that he didn't want to go to. I no longer invite him here or to meet. I text him a few times, every day. Sometimes he replies, sometimes not.

Isn't it lovely to have a nice dinner that someone else has cooked? Lovely that you saw your grandson and dog, and so relaxing when everyone gets on so well.

Wyllow3, EllieAnne thinking of you both today.

DH and I went to Son1's for the buffet. All very nice indeed. His 10-year-old loved her presents. Son2 and family were there, too. Little Girl came out in a lot of spots on her face, arms, legs, body, all over, this afternoon. Chickenpox. She's apparently been off for a couple of days.

Hope everyone else has been ok today x

I’m very glad that you are clear of Covid Scardeycat and managed to get out tho it was tiring. It must have been great to talk to your sister at last. Thank you as ever for your warm wishes.

Also that you have planned a break, Sweetpeasue. I used to go to the Lakes a lot when I lived closer, a good time of your to go. Well done for getting together with family despite aches and pains.

Doodle good to read your report of an OK day - yes I understand the contrast when you are back home alone. I hope your night is a bit better than the evening.

It’s difficult with your brother HVDY, but you have made best efforts to “keep in touch” and texting him does seem the best way. Despite him not replying, its still contact. You’ve had a lovely Sunday family day - but oh dear about the chickenpox! I hope it’s not a bad dose of it.

Today I did my weekly wash and shower. Had the weekend WhatsApp and photos yesterday from DS. Mood as ever.

Thinking of you all Ellie Anne, Candy, Nadateturbe, Whiff, AGAA4 and all who've come in before and reading.

Best nights all.

[Wyllow3] You had a shower and did the washing, that's 2 small achievements. Glad your son keeps you updates with news and pics.

It seems LittleGirl hasn't got Chickenpox, but has git Hand, Foot and mouth disease. Common in toddlers and not very pleasant. Clusters of blistery spots around her mouth, backs of knees, on feet and hands. Back later

Hi everyone.
SweetPeaSue- I,m so sorry your,Sister and partner now have the dreaded Covid- myDD says there is a lot about at the moment. Lovely to hear of your Sunday lunch wit( family. It’s so nice when everyone gets on well together.Helps you forget your aches and pains for a moment.
Look forward to your photos from hols- does your DH ever make paintings of them?
Doodle- thank you I feel better - just so tired and worn out - normal for Covid though.
Glad you had a nice day yesterday - do you have coffee at Church or go to a cafe?
Ah those tears are never far away are they- just let them come .
It will get better I promise.
HVDY- yes staying in was doing my head in but now I can get out and about I realise how Covid has taken it out of me. Been to M and S to get a few goodies- then . DD and SiL popped round for a Cuppa and chat. We polished off most of
a nice cake too .You have tried hard with your Bro - he must be glad of your texts even though he doesn’t always let on.
Glad you both got to the buffet- hope you were able to eat OK.
Poor Little,Girl she must feel all itchy and uncomfortable. I,don’t,remember that illness when my children were small.
Wyllow- yes so,good to chat with my Sis- nearly 2 hours!! There was a lot to catch up on.
You have been busy this weekend. It’s great that you have WhatsApp get togethers - a really good way to keep in touch. Photos too so you can see the GC I guess.
It’s so unfair that your mood and memories of how you have been treated spoil your enjoyment of life so much. Do you watch TV in the evening to take your mind somewhere else for a while?
Hope tomorrow lets a chink of light in.
Nadateturbe,Candy,EllieAnne,AGAA4, Nanny,Allsorts, Whiff and any I,ve forgotten hope you have a comfortable evening

Sorry all I’ve been out a lot and been with our sons this evening. I’m just so tired I can’t post much tonight but will catch up tomorrow. Take care all

I’ve never heard of what LittleGirl has, HVDY, hope there is some topical treatment.

Glad you went out for goodies, Scaredycat, well deserved, and able to have visitors at last.

Yes, I watch Tv all evening with the computer nearby.

Good to hear you’ve been out with sons, Doodle

I’m physically very under the weather/constant exhaustion as well as state of mind it cant rest. I think having to force myself to do everything takes it out of me. I had to go to the supermarket. I’d love to go to bed earlier but dont like to wake up too early.

Thinking of those not in today …hugs all BD’s.

SaredyCat I'm glad you're better and now able to get out and about - we just need it to stop raining for a while. LittleGirl is such a happy child and never cries for no reason (only when tired or hungry). It's a viral thing, will clear up on its own after about 10 days. She's got a few blisters in her mouth, but had some porridge and a yogurt, and might eat a bit of stewed beef, mash and well-cooked veg later.

Doodle Nice that you saw your sons. For a meal?

Wyllow3 There isn't any treatment, but the blisters are around the mouth, also on hands, feet, backs of the knees and on nappy area. I'm putting on a lot of Sudocrem when I change her. She's got diarrhoea with it, too. Poor baby. It sounds as though you've got a Catch 22 situation - you're having to force yourself to do things but then are tired. You don't want to go to bed too early because you'll wake early. Difficult to manage. Do you sleep during the day?

How is everyone else? It's still pouring with rain here - it began at 6 and hasn't stopped at all. Not going out when LittleGirl isn't well. Hopefully tomorrow, as I need some shoes or trainers. Hope everyone is ok x

Hi All.
HVDY+ you’re right about the rain- it’s so dark and depressing isn’t it. We went into town this morning but that’s depressing too- most of our nice shops have gone and there are vape shops,nail bars ,barbers etc. in their place. Then went to our local nursery to get a few more container plants. Just that trip has worn me out- Bloomin Covid .
Poor Little Girl it must be so unpleasant for her but at least she’s still eating despite the blisters. Good idea to stay in with her today. I hope she,ll soon be feeling more like her happy little self. Hope tomorrow you can get out to get your footwear.
Wyllow- having an overactive mind is almost as tiring as physical weariness- if only it could be switched off.
It’s difficult for you as HVDY says Catch 22. Is there any chance you could get out a bit more each day ? The fresh air and exercise - even gentle walking - will help both mind and body. The natural light is so good for you. You have been injured mentally for so long now it’s a bit like having to exercise a broken limb in order to walk again. It’s uncomfortable but the end result brings freedom again.
What do you like watching on TV- the Winter programmes are usually a bit better aren’t they. Take care Wyllow x
Doodle- you had a tiring day yesterday - lovely though to see both your Sons together. Hope you were able to have a decent nights sleep afterwards.
SweetPeaSue,Nadateturbe,Candy,EllieAnne, Nanny,Whiff, and all who haven’t been in for a while thinking of you.