Black Dog 23

* A warm hello to Ellie Anne, sorry to hear you’ve been unwell.

Thank you for the loving thoughts, Sweetpeasue. The sit fit class and lady sounds well worth a try. So very good to hear today was a good day

Thank you for the warning, Whiff.

Jaffa has clearly become very special HVDY. Understandable to have a cry. I’m glad the vet is pleased with him and you are giving him all the special care he needs. Just imagining him trying to “miaow” poor thing. Good for you having a tidy up.

Candy great to see you in.

I hope the pansies listen to you Scardeycat. Thank you for your AF report, let us know if it gets different, you are so caring for others.

Doodle yes I can vividly imagine that home-coming. It is frightening that fear of coping or not. The loss of touch and the panic.
That spur you describe is what everyone “recommends go out and do” but I hear you when you say its a survival move. The writing is good tho. I hope that your son arrives safe and sound.

No I dont chat to the cleaner except a bit. Getting up early being presentable is a strain but I did get a sleep this afternoon. I have a haircut next week.

I have been losing hair quite badly for some time now, I think its one of the tablets, its one of the reasons for hopelessness as I dont know how bad it will get. Been getting very blocked up tummy wise so just felt poorly all round and had to have a tummy day tomorrow. I’d like to report feeling something good and will when I can, but its a serious MH thing and exhaustion.

oops spelling sorry Scaredycat

Doodle I didn't mean to sound as though you're just getting on with life. I do admire you, though, for the way you're making a huge effort to go out and see people when you're grieving so much. You probably don't feel like doing things when you've lost your beloved husband. I can't possibly imagine that feeling. I (selfishly) hope I die before my husband.

Doodle Don't concern yourself with what you wrote yesterday. I re-read it this morning and it explains well how you feel and so poignant. I hope today you have a nice time with your son.
Wyllow Just say it how it is and doesn't matter if your day has felt crap. We'd rather know the real Wyllow than a made up one - though of course we continue to hope for the one that's still there inside waiting to shine. Don't give up hope (that's for me and everyone here too).
Your hair loss is so soul destroying and is another thing to make you feel worse. I'm sure the hair cut next week will help to make it all look better. Could be your meds or maybe lack of iron in diet.
Hope your tum day isn't too painful and exhausting today. Hug.x
HVDY Hoping Jaffa is in good spirits and his teeth and gums aren't too painful. Is he still eating the new foods?
Afraid I feel the same about who goes first but let's hope we've got a good way to go yet!

Hoping everyone's day has something nice in it.
Afraid not good day for me painwise and struggled to take aunt with us and hadn't seen her for a while. Had a 'dizzy' out of it spell in supermarket so had to come home without own shopping but got the bits on aunt's list ,which wasn't much. Just ache from top to toe . So fed up of it now and worried about how long it will last.
Thinking of all who haven't been in for a while.
Nadateturbe Sending love if you're reading.

Hi all.
HVDY- Ah poor Jaffa - but he’s so good with his medicine. Our last cat was a pain in the b—m to get to take medicine - the vet always ended up doing it😩
I like having a tidy up but absolutely hate housework- been tidying today too . Hope you feel all nice and sorted now.
Glad your pain isn’t troubling you too much.
SweetPeaSue- you have bags of courage but your confidence has taken a lot of knocks lately.
I think that maybe a little Fluffball might be just the thing for you. You sound good with dogs and it would be so nice for you and DH to share.
So sorry you are not having a good day today . It’s so kind of you to have helped Auntie to finish her shopping despite feeling awful. A few years ago when my anxiety was bad I always felt poorly in Supermarkets. I think the lighting in them and shopping centres is very troublesome if you are stressed.
Hope now you are home you will start to feel a bit better.
Doodle-:Oh your words were powerful and touching and explained so well your feelings. It IS brave to do all the things you are doing. None of it is easy when all you really want is to just sit in contentment with your lovely DH. Please don’t think of yourself as a coward . You are a kind ,brave , understanding funny,clever perceptive lady who we are all proud to call our friend and your life has been turned upside down.
I,m glad you wrote as you did- it touched us all I,m sure.
Yes the AF makes me very tired as my heart doesn’t pump efficiently so there is a lack of oxygenated blood to my body hence the fatigue.
So glad you will see your Son soon - it will lift your heart.
Hope the weekend brings you some peace.
Wyllow- oh it’s been so hard for you to cope with hair loss too.
It,ll feel better once it’s been cut and easier to do too.
I,m so sorry about your tum troubles. I don’t know the problem but personally regular walking and drinking water helps in that department. It’s probably not that simple as it is so painful for you. Do you like fruit?
SweetPeaSue is right we,d much rather hear how it is than have a sugar coated version. Here is one place where we can say how we feel rather than what we think people want to hear.
The real Wyllow is our friend - that’s why we are wishing so much for you to feel well again.
Love to all

SweetpeaSue Good of you to get your aunt's shopping but you don't sound well at all. You need to get that sorted out. I hope you have a more comfortable evening. Jaffa loves this new food and scoffs it down! He seems to be more comfortable.

ScaredyCat Jaffa is on 4 medicines at the moment - 2 are liquid, 1 a paste, so I put them with some Lick-e-Lix on a spoon, and he licks it all up. One is a tablet, which I've crushed and put on some of his food. He's been good with all of it. I hope you've had a decent day today. Have you been anywhere?

DH and I met Son1 and all 3 children at a family pub a few miles away. There was a Halloween party and disco, with food and sweets, which was nice for them. We stayed a couple of hours then went our separate ways. Tried Jaffa on a harness - he wasn't impressed but tolerated it for half an hour. How's everyone else been today? x

Wyllow sorry about the hair loss. It could be stress as well as the tablets. I assume it’s a side effect of something you take. Is it possible to talk to the doctor about it?
Sorry about the tummy. Could you take Movicol? That often helps. Hope you manage to get out again soon.
HVDY it’s funny, I prayed very hard for me not to die before DH so in some ways you could say I got my wish, I know he loved me so much and I loved him so much I couldn’t bear the thought of him living without me as he wouldn’t be able to cope. It is one thought that in a way cheers me that I’m the one going through this not him. As someone once put it, my pain is his peace. I will happily go through this awful sadness so that he doesn’t have to. I have never for a second wished that it was the other way round.
At the beginning it was a huge effort to go out and mix with people. I found it a great strain but now, as I get to know people more I enjoy their company and we have a laugh.
What a lovely time for your grandchildren. Sounds like a super idea.
Jaffa will get used to the harness I bet. The first time I put a lead on my dogs, they refused to budge an inch.
Sweetpeasue our son is home thanks. He’s very tired but I hope we meet up during the week. It’s our other son I’m meeting but that’s tomorrow. I’m going for Sunday roast.
I’m so sorry you seem to be going through another bad patch. Have you been back to the GP yet? Good you managed to help out your aunt but not that you didn’t feel so good. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
Scaredycat what lovely things you wrote. You are the one that’s kind and caring. You always write such lovely words to us all. I didn’t realise the AF affected the oxygen in your blood. No wonder you feel tired. I didn’t realise it had that effect.
Are you meeting any family this weekend? I’m going to church in the morning tomorrow and then to our sons in the afternoon.
Ellie Anne hope you’re feeling better. Hope you and Candy have a good weekend.

Hi all doodle I can totally relate to you, yesterday was such a bad day for me. So bad that I couldn't even speak. The words got stuck in my throat. My friend asked me if I wanted to talk about DH, she is the only one to ask. I thought that was so lovely. DS is living here with my GS and he cries so much. I don't have a problem with that but they won't let me help. I offer to take him so they can have a break but nope. I can have 15 mins with him some evenings so they can have a cigarette but I am not allowed to let him sleep. It's crazy. I get so upset when he cries.

Thank you for the hugs Sweetpeasue, no, it’s not iron. I’m sorry to hear it wasn’t a good day painwise for you and the worries with it.

It’s frustrating for you with the tiredness, Scaredycat. Yes I eat some fruit, more walking would help!

I can imagine the party and disco was pretty full on, HVDY but nice to be with son1 and the children. Bests of luck getting Jaffa to cope for longer with the harness.

I do take some stuff Doodle I think it need reviewing tum wise.
How beautiful and poignant your words are regarding your DH xx

Warm hi, nanny, and sorry to hear its so tough. I wish for you - some more baby time.

Dressing gown/tum day the Great Unwashed…

Doodle The love you and your husband shared was so deep. You always write such lovely words about him. Enjoy your time with your son today.

Nanny2507 Sorry it's so tough, and I hope you get more time with the baby. Could he have colic?

Wyllow Some medications can affect hair, can't they? Are there any vitamins or supplements you could take to counteract hair loss? I hope your tum soon feels more comfortable.

It was nice to see daylight early this morning. Not doing a lot today. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Nanny yes it’s tough isn’t it. I’m crying now as I type this. It’s just too hard. Like others I wonder if the baby has colic.
Hope you’re ok.
Sorry all I’ll post again tomorrow xx

HVDY Glad Jaffa is eating his new food.
No I don't think we'll ever have a dog . Think if we had a bigger kitchen or somewhere for a dog to dry out in bad weather. Our kitchen is tiny. They need walking whatever the weather or however you're feeling.
Scaredycat Thankyou for your kind words. Supermarkets are stressful places at times and I see what you mean about the lighting. It's just the aching in body and tiredness I think.
Hope you've seen dome family this weekend.
Nanny I'm so sorry you had such a bad day yesterday and that you are finding it so difficult at present. Our instinct when babies cry is to soothe them so it must be really awkward for you. Do wish you will soon get more time with your little DGC .Hope today is better for you.
Doodle Aw please don't be sorry. The tears are better cried out than building up inside. I hope you managed to join your family later for that roast dinner but if not ,there will be another time. Wish so much I could take that pain away. Hoping you can get some semblance of peace later. Been thinking about you this afternoon and sending prayers and love.x

Thanks I hope to see GP when he's on Tuesday.
Love to all and apologies for shorter post . Do think of everyone.

Doodle I read your post from Friday evening and cried for you. Send love and hugs.
Sweetpeasue thanks for your thoughts. So sorry about your pain.xx
Love to everyone, have read and thinking about you and still remembering everyone in my prayers.
I am OK, problems like everyone, but just make the most of the good times. We just koko.
xx

Hi all.
HVDY- what a great afternoon for your GC- did they dress up?
You did well to get Jaffa into a harness at all! Cats are probably the most awkward little critters to help!! It would be great if he could walk in the garden with it.
Saturday morning saw my GD1 and her two after their morning activities. Then today after an hour and a half chat with my Sister walked round to DD for coffee and a mince pie- the first one this year! My sister told me her daughter had gone for a scan and blood test last Sunday . Had the scan then they said they didn’t do blood tests on Sunday- but they had told her to go!! So more waiting. You couldn’t make it up.
Doodle- I hope you felt able to go to Church this morning- so sorry for your sadness today. I do hope also you are having your Sunday roast with your Son. He will be so pleased to have you there.
Sending healing hugs.
Nanny- I,m glad you have a friend who will talk with you about your DH. Sometimes we really need to talk about those we have loved and lost. Sorry you feel so bereft.
It’s awkward for you with the baby isn’t it. A lovely,cuddle with his Nanny would be such a comfort for you both.
Wyllow- I can vouch for Movicol too- it really helped me when I had a big problem. You can buy it OTC. Hope Tum is not so uncomfortable today and you,ve sorted yourself out a bit.
Despite all your problems there was a little hint of humour in your last sentence.
It,ll be shopping day soon - don’t forget those Olives!!🫒🫒
EllieAnne- hope you’re feeling better and the weekend not too stressful for you.
Nadateturbe- thinking of you.
Love to all those mentioned and those not- have the best evening you can

Doodle Let the tears flow. How was your roast dinner?

SweetpeaSue Jaffa is a glutton! He's already had 5 tins (they are small though) of Gourmet, plus a dishful of chicken. He's got his bedtime food to go yet. Hope you're not in so much pain this evening.

ScaredyCat He's been on the harness in the garden (50ft by 70ft) today. Strangely enough, he's never once climbed the fencing in all this time. So nice that you saw so many of your family this weekend. Mince pies are good at any time. How ridiculous of the hospital to tell your niece to go for blood tests and they say they don't do them on Sunday. I hope that when the scan results are seen, she'll get a date for an operation.

Hope ALL BDers have a cosy evening. x

ScaredyCat No, they said they're too big for dressing-up (GDs are 13 and 10, SGS almost 14)

Thanks all. I’m a bit better now, I had a lovely meal with our son and family. Came home and had a large glass of wine.
Church was lovely this morning but I got sad when I came home. Thanks to all for caring. You’re all so kind xx

Doodle We all so care. Hope you sleep tonight. X

Nadateturbe So much thanks for your prayers for all here. Glad you came in. Also that you're still battling and hopefully having some good days.
HVDY Clearly, Jaffa is enjoying his food which is a wonderful thing and will keep his spirits up and his physical health. So good he's been in the harness and feels OK in those boundaries.
I'm OK tonight thankyou.

doodle I may not come on here much but feel free to private message me if you need to xx

I hope your "not doing too much" day went well, HVDY. The harness seems to be going well on Jaffa.

Big hugs, Doodle for those tears. Glad you saw son - and quickly had the wine, and why not!

Glad its a bit more OK *Sweetpeasue and hope you get to see the GP on Tuesday.

Good to see you in, nadateturbe, and well done for making the best and koko.

Ah, glad you got a call in with Sis, Scaredycat. That’s so bad about the bloods! Will try for olives tomorrow. Movicol might be better than current stuff I use.

HVDY I think the hair loss thing is a high level of meds, cant change that, maybe stress too, but its quite bad now and I feel so bad about it and fear, its been going on for some time. I take multi vitamins. Today had a shower and washed clothes. Tomorrow supermarket.

Hi. I hope I’ve found the right post. If not then please ignore.

I’m just so down in the dumps all the time but I’m afraid of taking medication. Any advice would be great. I’ll fill in more details later. Thanks

Whywhywhy What is it about taking medication worries you? I started taking antidepressants many years ago - the GP says they aren't addictive, but whether they are or not, I'd rather take them than ever feel as terribly low as I used to. Some people find counselling helps (talking therapies). It wasn't for me, I didn't find it useful.

SweetpeaSue He's got to be on a soft diet for a month (mousse-like cat food). I've bought some, but most cat food doesn't have much actual meat/protein in it, so I've ordered some high-protein stuff. It's expensive but he shouldn't need as much of it per day (perhaps 3 meals). I hope you're not too bad today. Hopefully, you'll get to see the GP tomorrow.

Wyllow3 I've seen Plantur 59 shampoo advertised on tv, supposedly good for hair loss. Might be worth a look? Glad you managed to do your washing and have a shower. An alternative could be FreshWipes, available online.

Hi all
HVDY- you are seeing after Jaffa so well- he is a lucky boy.well done with the harness it shows how comfortable and happy he is with you to be willing to try it as he has.
Yes I guess your GDs have got to an age when they might feel a bit self conscious dressing up. Our GGC still love it even though the eldest is 11 now. She popped in this morning from the car to bring us 2 gourds as they had been to pick their pumpkins- so sweet.
Doodle- so pleased you had lunch with your family- good idea to enjoy a vino when you got home.
Church brings out all your emotions I think as people are kind and understanding and you can contemplate feelings there. Better to let those tears flow like HVDY says.
SweetPeaSue- we,ve got a tiny kitchen too which wouldn’t really be big enough for a dog- but a little one? It’s the comfort and warmth of our furry friends and the mutual love isn’t it.
Hope you get your Tuesday appt. Glad yesterday you felt ok.
Wyllow- I think Movicol might be worth a try - it really helped .Once you,ve had your haircut maybe the hairdresser might be able to recommend a good product. Plantur 59 sounds worth a look. I think as you start to feel better your hair will too.
Why why why- you,ve come to the right place.
Like you I was afraid for so many years to take antidepressants and then 18 months or so ago I gave in and started them . What HVDY says is how I feel too. I ,m happy to take them forever to feel much better. My children said they have got their Mum back.
Only write what you feel comfortable with but you will find kindness here.
Candy,Nadateturbe, EllieAnne, Nanny, Whiff, and any not mentioned hope this week brings some kind moments