Black Dog 23

Morning all.
Sorry for my absence but it’s been a tiring 2 days travelling and then settling in this different place. It’s rained a lot but we have a view down to the sea - just can’t see it much right now.
I,ve just read your posts and caught up.
Wyllow - what a tough time for you at the moment. Glad you got out for a walk - don’t neglect your physical health but glad to hear it’s slightly better.
Sorry you couldn’t contact your Sis. Would it help to just write down what you want to say first then do WhatsApp? I realise you are finding it hard to put into words but maybe thinking there doesn’t have to be a point just being alive and having friends and family is a start.
You are a clever ,interesting woman and one I know would be a lovely friend. Hang on in there Wyllow we are all willing you to have better days.
Doodle- I think of you so often. Writing down how you feel is something I remember doing- it helps to get it out on paper.
You are certainly filling your days but try and rest too.
I found increasing the ADs when I first took them upset my tummy big time so I just stayed on the original dose and that’s ok.
My DGD and boyfriend went to Windsor a little while ago and loved it - I,d love to go in the castle. It’s not too far away.
Hope you,re having a comfortable day. Sending a Sunday hug.
Walkowl- hello and welcome- good to have you here.
Whiff- wow that printing looks so lovely. Sounds like fun to do too. Thank you for showing us.
HVDY- did you have successful on line shopping- it’s a continual temptation isn’t it. Have a good Sunday whatever you do.
SweetPeaSue- you had a busy day that’s why you’re a bit achey. So kind to take Auntie out- what a nice person you are.
Nadateturbe,Candy,EllieAnne and all BDs and readers wishing you a gentle day.xx

ScaredyCat No need to apologise, you're on holiday. Nice of you to call in. Hope you have a good time, despite the rain. How long are you there for? The little stray "Jaffa" (Son2 says jack Sparrow) has just walked in and is eating his food. He's a nice little thing.

Whiff Lovely pictures.I love the way the colours blend in . You are certainly a busy person and live your life to the full.
Hope you have an interesting holiday in York. It's a wonderful place.
Wyllow Keep coming in , no matter if things are no better. Is it Thursday you have carer back? I wish I could change things for you. Hoping there is some brightness in today .
Doodle Hoping your Sunday is kind and you have company after church with friends or family.
Scaredycat No need to say sorry- as HVDY says you're on holiday. Having a little rest before you start to explore new place will be good for you.
HVDY So glad Jaffa is visiting and staying with you more. I expect (Sorry can't remember) he/she is learning to trust you and feels comfortable now coming inside. You are so good with animals by taking your time- some might be too forward.

Going out for coffee in a little village we like- just to break the day up. Thick fog outside again! Oh dear. Once fog shows it's face here it can 'set in'.
Have had these pains at least 2mths but getting stronger .On both sides of body and feels v stiff after rest. Should see GP but don't suppose there's much can be done. I'm thinking Fibromyalgia but it's ironic that was misdiagnosed with it a few yrs ago. So hope it's not.

Hope everyone has a decent day.x

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Sweetpea Sue Jaffa sat on my knee for age, also on a folded fleece. He moved as soon as I went to have a shower. He's in the garden now. Funny you say you were misdiagnosed with Fybromyalgia, as I understood there isn't a test anyine can do to diagnose it. Son1 has it but that was only suggested after blood tests and scans ruled out other conditions. Could you actually have that or even Arthritis?

Beautiful colouring on Jaffa HVDY
He's a beauty.
I have a photo of fluff ball face though she looks as if she's in 'the dog house'. I assure she puts on a face for everyone to get cuddles.
The Fibromyalgia misdiagnosis was when I had shoulder impingement and aching shins ( after going down Robin Hoods Bay bank) and Rheumatologist appt was day after so think that's what skewed it.
I get awful pain throughout all body when standing up after rest ,even soles of my feet cause pain.Yes there's inflammatory markers in blood and inflammatory conditions can be ruled out so might need those.
Here's photo.

What a pretty little dog, SweetpeaSue. My son gets a lot of pain in his hands and feet, especially the soles and palms. It might be worth you looking into Fybromyalgia again, although there's not much, other than painkillers, that can be done for it

Thanks HVDY. Yes in both wrists- found it difficult to lift kettle this morning. Sheesh if it's not one thing ...
Need to get DH sorted - his appt a week on Tues. Hope your hip pain hasn't been too bad today. We're all falling apart.

SweetpeaSue you're right, we're falling apart - aches, pains and things not working properly. My hip is fine lately, thanks, but then all I've done is rest. I'm so bored of not doing anything now. That will change on Tuesday when ChubbyChops gets here at 7.30am! You must be counting down the days until your husband's appointment. "Jaffa" has been sunbathing for a few hours. I'll cook him some chicken later and that will secure him as mine

Jaffa

HVDY Glad you've not had the hip pain but can see it must be frustrating the enforced rest.
Jaffa really is a gorgeous cat isn't he? Sunbathing? Still thick fog here and rained all day!
Does your fox still come? He might have to share the chicken with Jaffa.

Our back door has been wide open all day! It's been sunny and warm all day. The fox still comes but has a different diet (other cats - not strays- kept eating his food) of eggs, chunks of cheese, and beef bones from the butcher's. Jaffa's had cooked chicken breast, scoffed the lot, but turned hs nose up at a tin of tuna (I didn't know that beggars can be choosers )

Wyllow I’ve had a rotten day so going to try increasing the ADs tonight. Got nothing specific planned for tomorrow so if I’m not well it’s ok.
I write every day. Firstly as a journal to myself now I write that and to DH too. Don’t know if it helps I don’t ever read it back.
How have you been today.
Whiff thank you for your explanation of the art class. Your results look so good. What a clever idea.
I can’t take music at the moment. Well not songs anyway. Nothing moody or sad. I just listen to background noise cars, trains anything like that.
HvDY I’m glad you’re around to keep an eye on your DGd2 as well. Hope her kitten survives. What a sad situation.
Little Jaffas making himself at home I see, he’ll be moving in soon. 😊. He’s a lovely cat.
Scaredycat how nice to be able to see the sea as it were,
Hope the weather improves for you and you have a good time.
Sweetpeasue oh that little dog is so sweet. How lovely,
Those pains don’t sound so good. Please get them checked out. I know you’ve been through a lot with your health and your DH s but it’s best to get things checked.
Yes I had a long chat with some of the people at church after.

Doodle Your rotten day , I'm just so sorry. I hope the written daily journals help. Also the higher dose of ADs - you will soon know if that helps. I realise there's nothing I can say that can help your pain. I would be the same. Just sending you so much love and hugs. Wish I could do more. X

Doodle Sorry you've had a rotten day. An increase in your AD might help, just give it time to work. Perhaps tomorrow will be a bit brighter for you. Son1 had his youngest this weekend, and spent all day yesterday doing things with her - just the 2 of them as his eldest was at her other gran's.

Jaffa was here all day, had 5 pouches of Felix and a bowl of cooked chicken (strays will overeat like that as they don't know when their next meal might be). He doesn't like it when I shut the door (him inside). Not sure what to do about going to bed....... Hope ALL BDers have a restful night x

Hi all, sorry I’ve not posted in a while. I’ve been having trouble with my iPad again and am struggling to charge it so I’ve been waiting for my son to come home and sort it for me. He thinks the charger isn’t working properly so I’ve just ordered one from Amazon. I can read on my phone but find it quite difficult to post. Hopefully will get replacement charger tomorrow so will be back soon. Thanks goodness for amazon! Thinking of you all and sending ❤️ xx

Scardeycat - lovely post - two days travel is tiring so it’s not surprising you didnt come in. I hope, once the rain clears, it’s as nice a place as the last, and you get some sun for the beach and sea air.

I’d forgotten the fox, HVDY, a fussy eater…bests for DGD2’s kitten. Good that Son1 had some special time: and thank you for the pictures. I hope when you get active with chubby chops the pain doesnt come back.

Doodle so sorry for the day, and I very much hope that you feel OK with the raised dose . I’m glad you are writing, you never know one day you might be glad to look back, or tuck it away xx

It’s good that your are making little breaks and getting outs, Sweetpeasue. I’m really sorry that your pains are getting stronger. If they are different from before it’s worth seeing GP - I hope you have painkillers that work for you for the side pains. Fluffball looks really sweet. I was thinking that DH’s appointment must be soon.

Good to see you in, Candy. Great to have a techie son.

Things haven’t got better, I managed a small clothes wash and shower was all, but things haven’t picked up mood wise or physically. Psychologist this week, and following week, carer starts up properly. House, garden, windows, all so neglected. Thank you all for kind comments. Good to be able to come in.

Love to absent BD’s night night.

Candy Not to worry about coming in. Hope your new charger fixes the problem.
HVDY Ah that's so very sad about strays overeating when they get food,makes sense. Poor Jaffa and all the other Jaffas. I hope he stayed but if not I'm sure he'll come back. One night .... crossed fingers.
Wyllow The house/garden/windows are clearly an irritation. In a way it's a good sign you care -if that makes any sense. I'm so glad you're seeing the psychologist and hope he realises how much you need help. If he/she is at all good you might be able to talk and open up . Please say how it is and get him on board. I miss mine so much now our sessions have finished and he really helped in so many ways. Take care of yourself Wyllow, we care so much. Gentle 🫂. x
Doodle So much love .x

Candy6 Hope you get your iPad sorted. I love Amazon too!

Wyllow3 Please tell your Psychologist how bad you're feeling. You can't keep it bottled up.

SweetpeaSue Hope you and your husban are having a better day.

Jaffa hung around until 11.30pm, then went (no idea where), so I had to go to bed - then worried about him all night. He was at the door at 7.30 this morning, has eaten well but not too much like yesterday. He spent a couple of hours on my lap. Every time I got up to go to the loo, kitchen, etc., he followed me . I've treated him for worms and fleas (no idea if he's got them) and he's sunbathing now. . Hope ALL BDers are ok x

Hvdy my cat goes out every night and is sitting on the bin looking in the window in the morning. If I try to keep him in he just yowls at the door.

Just popped in briefly to wish everyone a peaceful night. Hope your day has had some bright moments and much love to all and sincere hugs.x

Well I thought yesterday was bad but today has been awful. Don’t know what’s come over me but I’ve been crying most of the day. I went for a walk to see if that would help but I cried all the way to the park. Sat on a seat and cried. Got a hug and prayers from a passing stranger which was so kind and lovely but didn’t stop the tears which have carried on all day. I even cried in the bank when I was talking to someone about my accounts. Not had a day quite like this before. I feel calmer now and hoping for a better day tomorrow.
Sweetpeasue I’ve upped the ADs a bit. I took ¼ more than usual and might take another ¼ tonight. Tum ok so far but it usually kicks off in the morning. You do a lot Sweetpeasue you listen to my troubles and support me. I know I’ll always get support here which is why I can tell it like it is. Mind you that doesn’t stop me feeling bad about letting it all out. Still not sure I’m doing the right thing.
Hope your DH is doing ok. How long till his appointment?
HvDY. Is that the little one who lives with her mum? If it is I bet she loved having her dad all to herself. Do they get on well?
Your son sounds a really caring father.
I can see Jaffa moving in soon. He is obviously learning to trust you (and fill his tummy at the same time)
Ellie Anne how long have you had your cat? Does he stay inside during the day?
Candy thanks for letting us know. These gadgets are all well and good but when they don’t work properly it’s a problem. Hope your son gets it sorted soon.
Wyllow some days it’s hard to get going isn’t it. I went out early this morning. Thought it might cheer me up. I haven’t walked so much in ages. At least the walk did me good even if it didn’t lift the spirits.
Hope you get on well with the psychologist. Bet you can’t wait till your carer starts. Hope it will make an improvement.
Scaredycat how’s the weather been today, have you been on the beach? Hope you’re having a good time.

Doodle You are doing g right about coming here and telling it how it is. We all want to know.Please don't feel bad about it. I'm just sorry we can't take away this terrible time for you. Oh you've had such a dreadful day today , I can only imagine your grief . I pray you will have a peaceful night but I know prayers don't always work in the way I want.Even so -it's all I have left when so helpless.
You did well to get out for a walk and you're doing all you can. That passing stranger could have been meant to be passing at that place and time. Aw your poor eyes must be sore and your heart breaking . I'm not sure I like the 'price of love' but know it would be a poor world without any love at all. Hope you're all cried out now Doodle and you can have some calm for tonight.
Thankyou my DH's appt with Vascular consultant is next Tuesday the 17th.
As for increasing your ADs it might help and it sounds sensible to up it in the tiny increments you are doing. I hope you tummy will not play up. You know nothing can take away your grief but they may help you feel strong enough to cope , though you are coping and are doing all you can.
Big hug and lots of love tonight Doodlex

Thank you Sweetpeasue. For all the pain I wouldn’t have missed a second of being with DH, Yes i think that lady might have been sent. So strange she was the only other person around.
Keeping everything crossed for next Tuesday.

EllieAnne I had several cats over 41 years, and they all stayed in all night. I used to feed them at certain times of the day (dry food down all day, though), and they became used to the routine. This one is only a small cat for a male, and there's another one that hangs around that scares him. I plan to keep him in if I can and get him neutered when possible.

Doodle The grief you feel must be awful. People can be so kind. Let it all out. I hope you feel tired enough to sleep tonight. Yes, the youngest (almost 10) lives with her mum. Both girls get on great with their dad, because he's always been consistent, has never let them down, and has never badmouthed their mother (everything opposite to what she's like). Hope tomorrow is better for you.

An early start tomorrow - ChubbyChops will be here at 7.30, so I'll be up an hour before that, to shower, etc. Planning to sleep on the settee tonight so that Jaffa will hopefully settle. His colouring blend in with one of our large rugs . Love to all x

Doodle what a painful and awful day for you, you describe it so poignantly. The kindness of a stranger...so moving...and your courage in going to the bank...hugs for tomorrow and hoping the anti'd's help...thank you for your honesty and never feel bad about letting it out - as long as you feel its right for you.

Thank you so much for the kindness and hugs from BD's here.
I probably talk more to this psychologist than anyone else. Yes I do tell it like it is HVDY

Today and tomorrow was/is trying to get hold of monthly meds from different chemists and I did a shop. I saw a Quaker person in the shop but avoided her seeing me. My leg/foot is a bit less swollen today funny to walk on.

Warm wave to you Ellie Anne

Jaffa seems to be very happy at yours now HVDY. Good for your son with his children, it sounds like he’s got a lot of you in him.
You’ll be asleep as I write with that early start, and I hope your night goes well, and your first ChubbyChops day goes smoothly.

Your posts today have been thoughtful and loving, Sweetpeasue. Counting down the 7 days for DH with you.

Night night BD’s.