Husband not following physiotherapy advice

Then you say what you've said here.
"There's no point paying out quite a lot of money for private treatment if he doesn't want to help himself."
If he starts complaining just repeat, "you know what to do." And get up and walk away.
It's probably fear of immobility and getting older which is stopping him. I would stop referring to it completely.

As a veteran of arthritis, and physio advice, I think you need to ask "why" in more detail. Can he see the physio again? Ask how long before you would expect to see a difference, it will only be an estimate, but should help with goals. What is too difficult? Finding the time or space, or the exercises themselves? And if they are too difficult, what can be done?
I am very badly co-ordinated, with very poor proprioception. Good physios are used to being patient with someone like me. My physio watches me, corrects me manually, and understands that it takes me a good many goes to " get it".
It is also possible that being unable to do the exercises properly is a symptom of whatever is the problem.
So I would go back to the physio and accept "baby steps". This can be very hard, I have broken down at feeling "so stupid". I remind myself that I can easily do stuff that others find hard, and with this skill I need more help than the average.
If the physio isn't sympathetic, find another one! Good luck

PS, have just seen the advice above. I don't want to critise generally good advice - but it took me a while to explain that really did not " know what to do" without a lot more input. Think of someone being told "read this " if they are dyslexic.

Thanks both. I think he is understandably a bit depressed. He is seeing the physio again next week so I'll try and talk to her but it's difficult without sort of talking over him if you know what I mean. I feel like his mother, not his wife and he's getting irritated with me I think. I'm irritating myself but I'm just worried. I had something similar with my mother who only died a few months ago. I was continually trying to persuade her to take her tablets, drink more water, try and move a bit and she just wouldn't. The thought of doing something similar with my husband just exhausts me. I am not naturally a bossy person. I just want him to be as OK as he can be.

If the exercises are not working then most Physios will change/adapt them to the persons needs. It is good that your Husband is using an exercise bike but this may not necessarily be right for him. The best thing is for Him to discuss his concerns about why He feels the exercises are not working with his Physio.

Thanks. I think the reason they aren't working is because once or twice a day is just not enough. He seems really dispirited. I hate to see him so downcast and I don't want to make it worse by nagging him.

I think you need to sit down at a time of day when you are not frustrated with each other and have a discussion. Then you can tell him what you think and perhaps he won't be as defensive. The reality is that he will just feel worse if he doesn't follow medical instructions, and that leaves you as his nurse down the line.

But I will say, and I don't mean to frighten, that my sister had a similar situation when her husband fractured his hip, but it turned out there was an underlying cause that her DH did not have the energy to do his excercise. Perhaps your husband isn't relaying his symptoms properly, or needs a closer look by a doctor.

Don't nag him.
That can't do any good.
You don't know how it feels to be him from the inside.
Just walk away if you are getting annoyed and busy yourself with something else.
Maybe trying to care for and then losing your mother has affected you more than you realise.

If the exercises are to deal with the balance problem he needs to stick at them for a long time . It is so easy to keep nagging about it but in the end it is up to himself to get on with them .

Could you offer todo them with him to better understand which parts he finds tricky?

He does need to do them but you can’t make another person do anything. He is aware of what he should be doing I’d leave him to it.I don’t think you can do anymore he has to help himself

I’ve got a weak knee the risk to me is walking down stairs and I have to take special care, the arthritis shows up clearly on an XRay, I have chosen not to have it done just yet. I can manage it with occasional painkillers on the bad days.
No physio, it’s just a question of if it gets worse I’ll go on the list, here it’s about 6 months long

Perhaps he finds the exercises too painful.

Thanks for all the comments. He does know it's because I worry about him. I think he needs a more in depth conversation with the physio if only to give him some confidence .

I guess he wants to think through the problem for himself without his wife's prodding him to act.

My husband has similar. We employed a private physio too- he would do the exercises with him but not on his own. I’ve given up talking about it. He needs to help himself - nagging won’t work & will just make you both miserable!

You can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

That applies to husbands as well.

M0nica

You can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

That applies to husbands as well.

Tell me about it!!

I can't even get mine to the water, ie the audiologist.

I am hesitant to make another suggestion, it is so difficult to know the exact situation. I definitely think you need to ask the physio these questions - some exercises are designed to be done for specific numbers of times in a day, and too many won't work well. Ask for it all to be written down, and if need be, make a chart, then you can back off a bit.
Some people (me included) find exercising in water much better than on land - of course pool time is limited, but it can be helpful. After one of my hip replacements I struggled a lot with one exercise, but could do it in the pool, and gradually the 'muscle memory' kicked in and I could do it on land.

Physios can see the difference between people who do the exercises and those who don’t.
Balance exercises can actually be quite simple and you could if he would do them alongside him making a daily event of this.

I have tried doing the balance exercises along side dh but it puts him off because it's so easy for me and it worries him more because he finds it so difficult if that makes sense. I think a chart he could tick off might help and I will definitely mention it to the physio.

I can't balance and could never balance well despite going to yoga for years.

I would be sorely tempted to tell the Physio that he isn't coping well with those particular exercises - I know this sounds like tale telling and snitching on him but you are paying for this treatment. If he doesn't put the work in nothing will improve.

Mine had Private Physio for his back.. I have never seen him do the exercises. When his back plays up, I just tell him to stop moaning and do his exercises. Sorry no sympathy with him.
I have had both hips and a knee replaced I know what pain is.