loneliness, weekends and having a routine

Lots of suggestions for you to consider NavyandPeach. What appeals to you? It is always appreciated to get a response when people go to the trouble of replying to your post. 😊

Hmm yes but sometimes its difficult to get away from the idea that the weekend is when families get together.
My DH works each weekend so I often on my own for hours so have a bit of an inkling of what this is like.
This is where church comes in but am now an atheist.
Think it's something to work on.
Perhaps Sunday Dinner lunch clubs might help.

I save most of my housework for weekends, always plenty of books to read, puzzles to do.

I get on a bus and go for a ride, or look around shops, I have got used to the solitude and look on it as a time to recharge my social battery.

Perhaps Sunday Dinner lunch clubs might help.

Our U3A has a Sunday lunch club once a month.
My husband works at weekends and my friend is a widow so we have joined. There were 24 people at the last one 🙂

Wine

Before I become busy with my voluntary role which I do virtually at weekends as well as in the week, I found the best thing for me to do with weekends was to treat the days as 'working days' and to give myself a relaxing day or two in the week.

My answer to feeling lonely at the weekend is to treat Saturday and Sunday as weekdays and do some of the things I used to reserve for weekdays after work on Saturday or Sunday.

I get this. I know exactly what you mean. If the weekend were a weekday, one's mind would not dwell on it. You already meditate, so I suspect you've tried all the mind tricks you can.
Working on my fitness is probably the most powerful antidote to loneliness, and I thoroughly recommend it if that's possible.
I also think one has to be far more proactive socially when alone. I sometimes invite friends for drinks or supper—most people love being looked after for an evening, and an impromptu drink on a summer evening is hard to turn down. Even if you don't have a garden, there is usually somewhere to go.
Don't invite those who don't bother to respond or whom you don't feel are worth the effort again.
A city break is good over a weekend if you can afford it, especially abroad in Europe (trains are good for this) and there are so many single travellers now.
Some hobbies are weekend-specific, such as lock-keeping or certain sports clubs. Most need people to run bars or help shepherd juniors.
Good luck.

I'm sorry to hear you find yourself feeling lonely at times and particularly the weekend. I respect other PP's right to express their views but the view that you are not lonely when you experience lonliness is not one I share. If you feel lonely, you are entitled to express that you are lonely. Have you considered volunteering, eg, in a charity shop? I have a very good friend who lives a couple of hundred of miles from me. I used to go and stay with her up to 4 times a year for a weekend. She roped me into joining her on a Saturday as an occasional charity shop volunteer when I was visiting. I even ended up on the rota for my visits and served at their stall once when I happened to be there for one of their Charity Auction evenings. I met a lot of interesting people and felt "part of it". I also understand your comment that you like your own company by yourself from time to time. I am the same, but that doesn't mean you can't feel lonely. Good luck in finding a way forward that suits you

Sunday is absolutely the worst day when you are on your own. I am lucky to have a good friend and neighbour we try to busy ourselves making use of the free pass for the train, don't go far we check whats on in our area from markets to just a wee trip to local resort a walk on the beach and a drink in the pub or occasionally a meal out. I hope you find someone to share these ideas with. Xx

Why the necessity for a routine?
It comes across to me as a straitjacket acquired from childhood on - daily timetable at school, commuting and working hours, a domestic routine which decrees washing on Monday, ironing on Tuesday, changing the beds on Wednesday etc
All of these tell us where to be and what to do with our lives.
The lovely thing about retirement is that you can at last be spontaneous, devise time and space for YOU and act as the spirit moves you
Unless of course you shrink from this freedom and would rather take refuge in a routine as many elderly people -my late father included- seem to do or did.

I fully understand your post OP. It's an odd thing, weekdays have quite a different feel to them sometimes.

Doing nothing special can seem attractive, until you are several hours in and realise it's only 2.30 in the afternoon!

This might sound strange but could you make yourself a little timetable?

In terms of ideas, are you rural or city based?

I think a lot of people feel the same Navy.

RosiesMaw2

Why the necessity for a routine?
It comes across to me as a straitjacket acquired from childhood on - daily timetable at school, commuting and working hours, a domestic routine which decrees washing on Monday, ironing on Tuesday, changing the beds on Wednesday etc
All of these tell us where to be and what to do with our lives.
The lovely thing about retirement is that you can at last be spontaneous, devise time and space for YOU and act as the spirit moves you
Unless of course you shrink from this freedom and would rather take refuge in a routine as many elderly people -my late father included- seem to do or did.

I like some routine. Pegs to hang my day on.

OP in my opinion, don’t think you’re lonely…you have FOMO!
There are plenty of people on here that are true lonely and cannot get out and about in the week due to illness or mobility problems..consider helping at food banks or homeless shelters or food kitchens if you feel the need to be with people all the time 😀

Yes ramblers is a good idea. I am also in a group that meets for brunch monthly on Sunday morning in a local restaurant. There may be others who would like to do this if you ask around?

Do you have public transport in your area? what about trying a bus trip to another town or varieties of towns. Useful for finding craft items in charity shops too

I was widowed around six months ago and both my grownup children live overseas as I used to do for many years until I relocated to the UK. I have found that it’s fairly easy to keep oneself busy throughout the week and I often visit nearby towns on Saturdays but I miss not being able to go out for lunch on Sundays with my husband. I too have recently joined a U3A Sunday Lunch group and have found this is a great way to meet different people as well as trying different gastropubs.

I cant imagine my weekends without my dog. I would never have believed they are so much company.

Meetup? It’s a website where individuals organise lots of different events, 7 days a week.

Thank you for these posts it’s good to read that other people are lonely, even though I don’t wish it for them. I am chronically ill and cannot see people very often as it just too exhausting. The payback is too great sometimes too. So I spend many hours on my own. There is a difference to feeling alone, and being lonely I find. I wish everyone well.

If you feel lonely at the weekend, or any other time, then you are lonely in my book. People vary enormously in how much company they want or need and your feelings are perfectly valid. I volunteer with the Royal Voluntary Service at my local hospital and they have jobs at the weekend as well as weekdays. A trolley service goes around the wards on Saturday and also volunteers provide cups of tea and a listening ear to people in A & E. on Saturday and Sunday when usually the unit is at its busiest. The jobs are for just two or three hours but give a good structure to the day. Talking to people who are having hard times really focuses the mind on your own blessings. It takes me nearly an hour to get to the hospital and an hour back so occupies at least half a day. Hospitals are also 24x7 operations so its easy to forget its the weekend altogether once you are on shift.

your feelings are perfectly valid

Indeed.

I'm fine during the day but, evenings and night till morning are so long and quite,

There is a different feel to weekends isn’t there. Years ago, after my marriage ended and my son went to uni I was fine in the week because I worked part time. But weekends were awful. One Saturday night I phoned the Samaritans and said I’m not suicidal and I don’t want to take up your time but I just wanted to hear someone’s voice. I then joined a singles group which went on walks at weekends which was a game changer.