Black Dog 24

Hi all
HVDY- I,think Jaffa loves you as much as you love him. Whatever is in Dreamies that cats love so much- they go potty for them don’t they.
I,m dreading taking down the tree - I just love it . The lights are so cheery.
Weather today horrible again. Cold,damp and grey. Had a walk but so glad to be in the warm again.
SweetPeaSue- it was so kind of you to take your Auntie out - was she around a lot when you were little? I loved my Mums sister she was always ready to play or be silly.
Bet you can’t wait to see your Son again. You must miss him a lot. My Son will be over in January on his annual visit - just hope,the weather cooperates. So need a hug from him.
Doodle- Henley day out sounds lovely- a river is always nice to be near too. i don’t like noisy places either and everywhere is noisier at this time of year.
The charity shop will love the wool - there are not so many places that sell it now are there.
Hope you met up with some of your nice friends this morning at Church.
Elveral- well done for tackling that journey- I hope it has given your confidence a boost.
Everyone will be so pleased to see you today. They have lost their Dad and Grandad too so understand just how you feel.
They sound a lovely family so don’t worry about showing your feelings.
NannyG4- what a lovely time you had with your family-;they obviously love you very much.
It will feel quiet and empty but you have lovely memories of the last few days and each day home surrounded by familiar things it will gradually ease.
Those knitting needles will be on the go,again soon!!
Candy- I,m so glad you are able to,cope better when your Son goes back. I too used to be bereft when mine went back- what a difference those meds have made. The sadness is still there but bearable.
What a shame the doggy bed wasn,t a success - still as you say his loss will be another little animals gain. Although cats can be pretty awkward and sometimes like the box the bed came in rather than the bed!!
Glad you’re managing to get some rest in between your whizzing about. I agree a 100% with the daily walk - it has been a saviour many times.
Wyllow- nice to hear you,ve decided to become a bit more adventurous with your food shop. More variety should do your tum good too.
What a pity those”no point” days won’t leave you alone. Perhaps if you eventually feel like a morning walk like Candy just getting washed and dressed for it would kick start your day better. Doesn’t have to be a point just enjoy the fresh air and see how you go.
Hope today feels less troublesome for you- big hug.
EllieAnne- how are you? I do hope there have been moments of enjoyment for you and your family this week, Been thinking of you.
Nadateturbe- I hope you,ve been able to enjoy these last days and been able to see family.
Love to all - posters and readers

SweetpeaSue We take our decorations down in stages - today has been all lights, ornaments and cards. I can't bear to get rid of lovely cards from family. I've kept them (and Mother's Day & birthday) from 2016. I looked at them all and cried at some of the words written in them . Mr Cooper will always be my best boy. Jaffa scratched the arm of 1 settee today (leather, 3 years old), despite having a large scratching post (which he ignores). Sod. . I hope today will be better for you and your husband. You must be counting the days until he is seen. Not long until your son comes home, and you must be looking forward to seeing him.

Doodle That sounded like a nice time yesterday, although I don't like anywhere that's very noisy, either. Someone will love the wool you're donating. Hope you're having a good day today.

Elvera1 Very well done on the driving. Hope your time at the get-together goes well. Don't be afraid of showing your feelings, they'll understand and will no doubt be feeling the same.

Nanny4 Going home to an empty house must be hard. Would you consider getting a pet? People with dementia often like folding pieces of material, so your knitted squares will come in handy for them.

Candy6 Glad you had a more relaxing day, you deserve it.

Wyllow3 If you ever get bored with ready meals, could you make yourself an omelette or jacket potato, with various fillings for either? I hope you're having a better day today .

Hope ALL BDers are managing to have a decent day today x

I have decided on buying a bit more variety/ready meals Scaredycat I’m glad little-cat-with-no-tail enjoyed her Christmas. Mad cat ladies made me smile after its recent use…Now I never knew you were a footie fan…I think if I were by the sea I’d get out more, something about it..

SweetpeaSue never worry you are a misery writing here. Uphill work for you to get DH the help, you are so right to persist. Nothing easy, indeed, so many different people involved.
Sorry for your bad night but well done for making the effort with your aunt.

I’ve seen dreamies advertised HVDY they clearly do the job. Jaffa is such a lovely companion for you. I dont know when I’ll see Carer2 again, got some working out to do. Sorry the fog kept you in.

Doodle I’ve never felt you moaned, either. I find noisy spaces too much as well. I’m sure it often seems too hard on your own, koko x

Elvera1 Its hard to see people and be sociable when you feel like you do inside. Well done on the driving!

So hard to come home to that emptiness,
NannyG4 good for you, for knitting.

Had a day couldn’t get dressed or washed. Oh the long hours when the thoughts are “no point” and I get frustrated but still can’t make myself do stuff or reach out.

Night night BD’s and may the night be as kind as possible.

Hello all
Whiff nice you had a good day with your family and good you get on well with your daughter’s in laws. So many families don’t get on for many reasons but it definitely makes things easier at get togethers and much easier for those hosting.
Doodle hope you found homes for your presents, you are obviously very well thought of. I hope things will be a little easier for you now the big milestone of Christmas is over.
Sweetpeasue glad you had a better day. Your day of rest must have done you good. Well done for taking your aunt out. I don’t blame you for taking your tree down either. I’m not superstitious either and never wait for 12th night and in fact could quite easily take it down on Boxing Day! It’s still up but it’ll be coming down soon. Not long now until you see your son, you must be so excited. Mine is going back home on New Year’s Eve, his time with us has gone so quickly. I used to struggle mentally so much when he went back, not so much now though since the meds, just “normal” sadness thankfully. I hope you get DH’s appointment sorted too.
Allsorts sorry you’ve had a down day but understandable as it’s such an emotional time for you. I’m glad your walk did you good.
Scaredycat so nice you and your family help stray cats. They are very lucky. I bought my older dog a snuggle bed for Christmas but hes not really taken to it and I think it’s a bit small so I’m going to drop it off at a local cat rescue and it will hopefully make one of their residents feel safe until,they find a forever home.
HVDY A day where you don’t need to do much will do you good. I’m not doing too much at the moment either which as you know is unusual for me but I’m enjoying it and I hope you are too. Life’s busy and we need to relish our down time.
Elveral well done on your journey it must have been difficult for you. Good luck too with the get together. People understand and will be grateful you have made the effort to be there I’m sure.
Nanny it’s understandable you have some reservations about getting back to normality but once you’re back home and settled back in I’m sure it will pass. Can you plan something in for when you get back - a phone call to a friend or family member, a favourite programme to watch, something nice to eat or drink? Hope I don’t sound patronising as I realise it’s not easy but just something else to focus on.
Wyllow sorry you have reservations about the carer. Is she just a temporary one for the holidays or will she be permanent? Maybe it’s just the change that has unsettled you and once things have settled you will feel better. Well done on your walk too. I find it always helps. In fact, I think my morning walk is my most favourite thing to do daily. It grounds me, clears my head and sets me up for day. I love it. I hope you feel better about things tomorrow.

My day has been pretty uneventful. Lie in. Nice walk. Supermarket shop. Cooked dinner. Couple of glasses of wine. Tired now though. Love to all and to those not personally mentioned. Night night xx

Just popping in....I'm home tomorrow after being with both my son and daughter and grandchildren. It's been lovely I've been thoroughly spoilt but I am becoming a little anxious about going home and back to reality. Hopefully I'll settle back. I hate walking into house when I've been away, it feels so empty ...oh I do miss him.
I do hope you are all managing as best you can.....Elveral ...well done for driving. Just be yourself at the get together, people will understand, I really don't worry now about crying in front of people. I really can't hold back the tears...
Doodle glad you've been out with friends. I must admit I'm better keeping busy...I've taken to knitting, just knitting some fiddle squares for people with dementia, I can do it whilst watching tv.

I'm sorry I've not mentioned you all by name but thankyou for your support and kind words it really does help...

Sending much love......take good care, you are all precious and loved...

Hi, thank you to you all for replying, it has helped a lot.
We’re back at home from our trip, had to drive some
unfamiliar roads, husband always drove everywhere, so was scary but I feel glad I did it. The girls don’t realise how much of a big deal it was for me.
Nice to be back at home, memories everywhere making me feel tearful. Going to a family get together tomorrow, it will be nice to see them, but not sure how I’m going to get through it. I don’t want to upset them, it’s my husband’s AC and their families, who have and are being very supportive.
Thank you all have replied with your wise words, it’s much appreciated.

Sweetpeasue it’s coming up to New Year and your DH’s appointment. Let’s hope that this year is a better one and his and your health issues get resolved, Sorry you’ve not felt so good today.
You’re not a misery. Goodness knows I’ve complained and moaned enough about my life since DH died, you’ve got a lot to worry about and you feel unwell. Don’t be so hard on yourself,
Allsorts thank you for your kind post. Sorry you lost your husband at Christmas. Must be such a difficult time to cope with loss
Wyllow sorry you’ve got concerns re your new carer. Can you apply for someone else if you don’t hit it off. Hope you have more energy tomorrow.
Scaredycat thank you I did have a good rest yesterday. Been out with friends today. Enjoyable but quite cold.
Yes I would love to be by the sea too. Something about sea air is invigorating.
HVDy yes went out with friends to Henley today. Had a nice lunch but the cafe was very noisy. Lots of people out and about. Came home and sorted out a huge bag of knitting wool I’ve been given. I won’t use half of it so will take it to the charity shop.
Yes fog affects my breathing too. You’re better off indoors indulging in TV and some sofa time.
Sweetpeasue yes I do cope better when I’m busy, left on my own I just sit and think and get upset, Be nice for you to see your son again. Hope you have success sorting out the results getting to the consultant.

Allsorts It must be hard when your DH died nr Christmastime. Memories are forever there, waiting to resurface and come unbidden. Sorry you're feeling low - I'm glad you managed a walk out , that must have taken some willpower in the fog. For was set in here yesterday but clear today. I'm lucky to be near the sea - so many take it for granted when it's on your doorstep.
Scaredycat You're right of course- I'll not give up trying for DH to get the treatment he needs. You always have such encouraging words for us all-Thankyou. Fluffball loves strokes and tum tickled though when you stop he rolls over and pats you with his paw to tell you not to stop!
HVDY Oh you love Jaffa so much and it's wonderful how settled in he is now. I realise Mr Cooper was your very special No. one, but Jaffa must have been meant for you afterwards. I'm thinking Dreamies are a cat's treat.
My DHs appt is 21st Jan .
Wyllow Like Scaredycat, expect you'll need to see new carer more than once to see how you feel about her. It's difficult with someone new - she probably feels a bit awkward too- but I so hope you get to like her. I just wish there were more 'mature' carers and MH nurses/workers out there. Hope today has been OK for you.
Doodle Hope you've been OK today and been with some company. I expect things are quietning down a little after Christmas. You seem to cope better when you are busy.

EllieAnneNadateturbe and all other BDs and reading hope you are OK.

Bad night- better day. Took aunt out this morning. Taken tree down -not superstitious ( but now I've said that)🤫
Looking forward to son coming home from work next Monday.
Will ring hand surgeon's secretary to make sure he has nerve induction results back from Rheumatologist , where they were sent . We rang Rheumatologist's secretary before Christmas to ask them to send results to hand surgeon( where they need to be before DH can get appt with him). Nothing easy.

Take care everyone and love to all and those not personally mentioned.

Doodle Hope you've been ok today. Have you seen anyone?

SweetpeaSue You certainly aren't a misery, you're coping with your own pains and worrying about your husband as well. When has he got an appointment to see someone ?(sorry, I've forgotten). I hope your pains have eased off today.

Wyllow3 Will the new carer be visiting you again? I hope you managed to go out with her.

ScaredyCat I'm so pleased the little cat with no tail is doing well and enjoyed some treats at Christmas. Jaffa has discovered the delights of "Dreamies". He goes wild for them . Last night, he stayed cuddled up to me all night, and for a lot of that time had his head resting in the palm of my hand . I love him so much. The stray your suster has taken in must be feeling lucky to have been rescued. I'm sure he'll have a happy life now.

Allsorts This time of year is especially difficult when we think of loved ones who aren't with us, isn't it. I feel for you.

Nadateturbe, EllieAnne and others - Hope you're alright.

Not done much today - too foggy again to go out (it makes my Asthma worse), so did boring chores and watched some cheesy films. Love to all x

Hi all
Candy- so glad you were able to enjoy your Christmas Day. You must have been exhausted though as Covid really does take it out of you doesn’t it. Hope you are getting some well earned rest now.
Wyllow- having a walk was a big achievement and hope it,ll spur you on to doing it a bit more often. Yes and getting dressed too sets you up for the day.
I expect it was tiring meeting the new carer and feeling comfortable and trusting her must take a while.
If you,re near to an M&S maybe you could pop in- lots of really nice ready meals and dishes.
Whiff- what a lovely day you had with your family. Isn’t it good that you get on well with DD in-laws - we like our SiL parents very much too. It’s a bonus.
So glad we have you popping in with your kind advice and humour.
HVDY- yep a bit of warming up went on here too but that was it. We had all the left overs last night!!
I forgot to say the little cat with no tail now enjoyed her Christmas and joined in with everything.🐈‍⬛
My Sister has taken in a stray who was living in my nieces Allotment shed. After he’s been chipped and chopped she can introduce him to her little lady cat. At the moment he’s getting used to the house in a bed room.
Lots of Mad Cat ladies in our family!!
Doodle- Hope you were able to enjoy the quiet time and have a good rest. Lovely memories made at Christmas and a huge milestone passed for you.
I can’t imagine a life without footie!! So many of us enjoy the ups and downs of our teams.
Hope tomorrow the Church is full of light and companionship for you tomorrow.
SweetPeaSue- I was 2 -3 when we left the Sea as my Dad had been stationed there in the War
I have very vague memories of the Sea but it obviously wormed its way into my heart forever.
You are worn out but never a defeatist or a misery.I don’t think for one moment you would give up until your DH is treated properly.
It’s sensible to rest when you can if you are in pain. Fluffball must be lovely to cuddle when you are down.
Allsorts- it must be so difficult for you at this time with such sad memories. Keeping it bottled in is tiring too as that takes much effort.
I know how walking helps- even foggy walking! But Oh to be by the Sea eh!
EllieAnne,Nadateturbe - hope you were able to enjoy the Days of Christmas . Sending love.

I’ve read all todays news and kind remarks to each other, but don’t feel up to writing tonight very exhausted. New carer a mixed bag, some difficult feelings about her. I’ll be in tomorrow, see you then, and just so glad BD’s is here xxxx

Glad most of us had a good Christmas Day. Feel for those bereaved, my husband died years ago at Christmas and I cant help remembering it all. I keep it to myself though.
It must be lovely living by the sea, just walking by it calms me, but I live in the middle of the country.
Been but down today back on my own, so sent a walk, despite the fog, but felt better for it.

Doodle Just missed your post there.
Yes the sea in all it's moods can be great company - it expresses all of our emotions. I am lucky and I feel ashamed to say feel defeatist. You and so many here keep on and I will too. I sound a real misery. Can't explain what everything is doing to me but it's hard to be strong for everyone. Big hug and thankyou.

Whiff Glad you had a nice Christmas. You are so supportive of this thread.
Wyllow I'm so pleased you managed to dress and go for a walk yesterday. Hope today your new carer was good .
Thanks re DH - we're ticking off the days till January appt .
Doodle Hope you got a good rest last night after spending all day with both sons and family.
HVDY Oh I hope your fox turns up soon. Perhaps lots of people had scraps to leave out for him over Christmas and he was full (bit like Vicar of Dibley going from house to house).
Scaredycat So your childhood home was by the sea! You must have fond memories of the beach then - it is lovely and I couldn't imagine living inland and far away from the coast now. Fluffball has been comforting today thanks.
Candy Glad you were able to manage the Christmas dinner but it must have taken a lit of energy when you weren't at your best. I'm sure everyone appreciated your efforts so well done for that.

So sorry for not mentioning all individually but have been thinking of all those with problems mental and physical. I'm wiped out today and had to give in to sofa this afternoon as fibro pain/ bladder and whatever else took toll. Feeling very defeatist with everything .
Wishing all a night of rest, relief and peace.x
.

Wyllow so glad you got dressed and went for a walk. I know you know that’s what you should do and I understand how hard it can be sometimes but each walk you do helps you in some small way.
Whiff sounds as though you had a lovely Christmas with your daughter and family. How old are your grandsons?
Thank you for your nice message.
HVDY paper plates and plastic dishes sound a good idea to me. Anything that saves washing up as far as I’m concerned
I think we always do too much food. I always did. Sounds like you had a good Christmas
.Scaredycat hope you had a good time with your DD and SIL. No football supporters in my family at all.
Sweetpeasue you are lucky to live your life by the sea. I love being by the sea I find it covers all emotions. Calm and soothing or rough and windy but always a joy to be walking on a beach. So sorry about your husbands arm and all his pain. It sounds a bit like nerve pain to me. Please get him to the GP again asap he shouldn’t have to put up with this,
Candy glad you had a good Christmas. It is exhausting isn’t it. I’m worn out and I didn’t even have to do anything 🤣
I’ve had a quieter day today. Finding a home for my presents and just resting I am still very tired but I had to lovely days with our family.
Thinking of you all and those not mentioned, hope everyone is ok. Sending love and hugs to all 💕

ScaredyCat M & S food looks so good. I agree about not cooking - although I did put several things in the oven yesterday, then used paper plates and plastic dishes .

Candy6 I bet the sleep did you some good. You need to rest, as you're always so busy.

Wyllow3 Glad you managed to get out for a walk. Hope today with the new carer goes well.

Whiff What a lovely Christmas day. Nice to see your daughter, her family and in-laws. It's good that you get on so well.

SweetpeaSue Hope you and your husband are having a better day.
EllieAnne Hope you're ok.

LucyD, NannyG4, Elveral Thinking of you, hope you're all alright.

Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day. x

Thank you all. I had a lovely Christmas day with my daughter,son in law and my 2 grandsons. And my son in laws parents where still there so got to see them . They are lovely my daughter is lucky to have good in law's . They alternate between their son and daughter for Christmas day lunch . This year they where with their daughter and family. They had dropped off presents and watched the boys open them . I have always got on well with them .

I have said it before you don't realised how special you all are and the fact you welcome others with open arms and there is never any nastiness but support,help,advice and most importantly of all friendship. It's not a doom and gloom thread but a safe place for all that need you . And it's not just health issues but what goes on in your lives . It's just chatting to old and new friends. It's how it feels to me . 🤗💖

Wave for Whiff.

Glad you had a good day yesterday, HVDY and hope it was a good evening with the gang. LittleGirl sounds like my DGC - so many toys. I hope foxy comes by.

Thank you BD’s for kind thoughts and wishes. Today was a bit better as I went for a walk and got out.

Love and hugs back, Doodle. Glad to read you’ve seen lots of family,, no wonder you were tired.

Yes, will buy a couple of ready meals next shop, Scardeycat. I'm glad that DD and SiL came round. Looking at teh foodie adverts for M and S tells me some of what you've enjoyed.

I know what you mean about being caught off guard with a facetime on Sweetpeasue! It must be nice to live cloase to the sea, good to hear you had a small walk, but really sorry to hear DH has a lot of pain in his arm - am so hoping that fidning a proper diagnosis and best amangement can be sorted out after such long waits.
Enjoy Fluffball.

I'm glad you were well enough for Christmas, Candy - welldone for managing the dog walk and the most welcome snooze.

Thank you BD’s for kind thoughts and wishes. Today was a little bit better as I went for a walk and got out....so got dressed, all important I know.

Evening all. I’m so tired my eyes are shutting. Be back tomorrow to catch up. Hope all had a good day, I had a nice time with our younger son and family and then we were joined this evening by our other son and his family which was lovely.

Evening all
Elveral hello and welcome. I’m so sorry for your loss and as others have said, yours is very recent and made especially difficult because of the time of year. You’re very brave and your girls will keep you going. Christmas Day is over now and that’s one milestone done. You’ll get lots of support on here and I hope you are able to access more support more specific to your needs. Take care xx
Wyllow I’m sorry yesterday was so difficult for you. You say you don’t know how you got through it, but you did and now it’s done. Hopefully you can start to move forward a bit now. I hope you get on ok with the new carer tomorrow.
LucyD Hello to you too and welcome. I hope you are well now and managed a nice day with your son.
NannyG4 Hello and welcome. I’m sorry for your loss but glad you’ve found us and other support. I hope you get your car sorted too and managed the best day possible for you yesterday. Take care.
Doodle I’m glad you managed to have a reasonably good day yesterday. Another milestone over for you too. You have done so well and I’m sure you will continue to do so. Sending ❤️.
Sweetpeasue how lovely, a walk by the sea on Christmas Day. You are lucky to live where you do. Hope you enjoyed your beef and both you and DH have been pain free.
Whiff lovely supportive post as usual. I hope your Christmas Day went well.
Nadaterturbe good to see you in and thank you for your caring post. I hope your eyes get better soon and that your Christmas has gone well.
Scaredycat glad you managed to have a nice day yesterday and hope you’re now fully rested. Take care.
HVDY hope you’ve had a nice get together. It must be lovely with Little Girl. They bring so much joy. Hope foxy is ok - he’s probably been well fed elsewhere and will be back to his old stomping ground soon. Sounds like Jaffa was spoiled too.
Ellie Anne thinking of you and hope your Christmas went well.

My Christmas Day was busy but I’m grateful I was well enough to do it. I’m better, but fatigued. Today has been quieter. I took the dog on a long walk then had a sleep for a few hours. It’s been nice to have no schedule to follow and I feel relieved. Hope all have had a restful day and have a peaceful night. Hope I’ve not forgotten anyone and if I have, I’m sorry xx

Evening all
SweetPeaSue- I,m glad for you that the sea is close although must admit a bit envious. Any beach is a happy place for me - always has been. I was actually born by the sea but left when Dad was demobbed and we went home to my City.
I,m sorry your DH is in so much pain- but glad you felt better today. It must wear both of you down though.
We had a nice day thank you- we all like football in my family and it’s been a big part of our lives.
Have a nice day with Fluffball
HVDY- No cooking for me today - Mr M and S didn’t for me!!!
Nice buffet picky food - and puds - and cheeses and biscuits.
Jaffas first Christmas with you must have been such a contrast to his former life. What a lovely big gathering- Little Girl must have loved being with everyone.
Hope Mr Fox is OK- maybe he went away for Christmas!!
SiL was happy about Forest - they’ve always been his team even though we live a long way from you.
Now we have Leeds on the tele and DH is happy!!

Love to all

Got various bits of buffet food, was going to leave it out for Foxy, but he hasn't been since Saturday night (the last sighting on the camera. . Hope he's alright

SweetpeaSue. LittleGirl has got far too much of everything - toys, clothes, etc., as most children seem to have these days. She was very well-behaved (as was Jaffa) here, with 6 of us adults and 5 other kids.

It's been a nice but tiring day. I bought a Bingo game and some small prizes (I wrapped them), so that made a change for a while. Did fartoo much food.

Hope ALL BDers have been ok today x

Doodle. Hope you had a good day. What did you have to eat at your son's?

ScaredyCat Did you have to cook for your daughter and her husband? Forest won, 1-0 today. Step Grandson went with his dad then came here afterwards.

SweetpeaSue. Sorry your husband hasn't been so good. It seems one or the other of you has a bad day. It's not fair.

HVDY Littlegirl must have felt quite overwhelmed and excited with the whole Christmas experience this year. Did she love all the lights on the trees? Have a wonderful time with all your 'gang' this afternoon. They all grow up so quickly.
Scaredycat Such kind words to everyone. Yes, the sea is just a 10min drive- I'm reminded how easy it is to take it for granted. I've lived very close/on to the coast all my life. My DIL to son 1 lives in the midlands so loves it when she comes here. Enjoy your afternoon with your DD ( does she like footie too?) Both my sons support Liverpool though their wives are not as enthusiastic but appreciate and support them too.
EllieAnne Hope you've been OK.
Love to all not mentioned and thinking of you all.

Better day today and had a small walk by the sea. DH just has pain all the time with arm( says it feels on fire) so has been rather down today.
Fluffball tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a peaceful night in body and mind. X