Should we all have the right to a same sex carer?

Sago what a terrible experience. So sorry.

consent, dignity, and cultural norms

This is precisely it, as Doodledog says.
Excellent post Doodledog.

Galaxy Maddyone It was 25 years ago, I was 35, it was surreal and caused the biggest furore ever, as a result a lot of malpractice came to light in the hospital.

I am over it now but I was so vulnerable at the time as I could only speak in a hoarse whisper, trying to scream and not being able to is frightening .

Being at others mercy in a hospital/nursing home situation is bad enough but then having a carer you mistrust or feel uncomfortable with is awful.

I always feel for Jimmy Saville’s poor victims in the hospitals he volunteered in, poor, poor girls and women.

Every time I read this tread title I think it's about same sex careers!
🙄

a friend of mine , a widow, was discharged from hospital and the NHS follow up care package sent a young male to shower her. She could not accept that so she asked him to do some jobs in the kitchen like washing up. He did not have a clue. Very unsatisfactory.

Sago
Male carers abuse women with learning disabilities, they masturbate over them and even have sex with them. I know many of you may not want to think about this but some of us have to. It has nothing to do with common sense, lots f people just don't have it. It is to do with protecting very vulnerable people from abuse.

What we must have is safety and the ability to feel safe. As I have reiterated rather too many times, it is not about rights to same sex care, those are necessary for many known situations. It is about enabling people to feel safe and comfortable in general. Allowances can be made where necessary but it cannot be across the board due to that causing issues where someone does need care and an appropriate sexed person unavailable. Were that reduced to simple care homes and indeed not other medical care, it could still involve elderly people left in unsanitary, unsafe or unmedicated situations if the "right" care is unavailable. So ensuring that any person feels comfortable and safe with any qualified and properly supervised care would be a must. All must have read the cases of women neglecting or abusing elderly patients in their care. There is no guarantee of safety nor dignity in same sex care and were a loved one in care I would need rather more assurance than that. To do otherwise is terribly short sighted. Put a damn camera in every room and have a third party company in charge of assurance or do something that keeps our vulnerable safe without pulling the wool over anyone's eyes about whether those who work in care are safe dependent on sex. To some it is just a job and a detested one and no love or care is in it and certainly no respect.

Putting a camera in a room where someone is under Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards (DoLS) is generally not allowed without their consent or a court order as it can be considered a significant intrusion of privacy, potentially violating their human rights.

I think if carer was valued more and was better paid it would attract more suitable applicants but many in the care sector do care, it's not fair to imply they don't.

I was a carer for 20+ years (mainly domiciliary), and provided personal care for men and women. A couple of ladies didn't mind a male carer showering them. I was in the unfortunate position to need care myself, a few years ago, following a stroke - I was in hospital for 6 weeks. Occasionally, a male nurse or carer washed and toileted me. I was horrified but realised I needed help and had to accept any help available at the time.

I didn't imply that they don't care in general, that is rather a ridiculous statement. What I want is assurance that the day I cannot care for myself there is someone there who does. That for me is rather more important than same sex care. All the while I believe same sex care should exist for those who require it. Could you indeed start an argument alone in a room? I think so. Common sense must apply and the ability to listen to others.

I'm not arguing with you, I'm posting my own knowledge and experience. You are posting your opinion. It's how discussion forums work.

Then don't make untrue assertions or take the time to ask. Where poor care exists it exists, that is a fact and I feel no need to imply anything about carers in general and have great admiration for anyone who does the job well. Male or female. People seem to love to dissemble here and it is rather droll for what should be a feminist cause discussed by women.

Why are you getting so aggressive about this matter?

aggressive assertive. I know what I mean and mean what I say and sometimes others need their foibles pointed out.

Good for you.
I'm much the same

I think that is what people are doing, pointing out your foibles.

I feel no need to point score in discussion. Perhaps someone will emerge with the view you are trying to argue with and the dissembling will cease to be rather apparent.

Nobody is trying to score points.
What would be the purpose?

To some, personal care is just as well done by either sex, to others, it's a source of distress.

Much like my lady with her dentures - no big deal to anyone else, but traumatic to her to be seen without them.

Misadventure I wholly agree with you. I think that one person has misunderstood and started a cascade of irrelevancies that were attacking unduly. When anger exists an outlet may be sought unfairly and in online spaces more easily.

female only personal care is protected by law and restrictive care practices are not encouraged. If that makes me eccentric, so be it

I'm not angry and I've not been argumentative. Laws are in place to protect vulnerable people and it is clear. Opinion doesn't (or shouldn't) come into it.

Yes, I'm sure we're all wanting the same outcome for ourselves and our loved ones.
Respectful, appropriate care, and we certainly all realise that unless we can employ our own team of same sex carers, there are times when it will be impossible.

I don't know what the answer is, frankly, and I wouldnt like to repeat what a feisty 90 odd year old told me when I told her she would be having a a male, foreign carer to help her to bed.

It is interesting that for those of us who have experienced working in care or managing care, and I appreciate it is a small sample, that we were able to ensure same sex care for females at the very least.

A camera in every room ?

Would anyone trust what could be done with the footage😱

I’m truly horrified at the idea of elderly people having their intimate care observed by others on camera.

I have to keep asking. Why are things that are not acceptable for children and women in general, deemed perfectly acceptable for the older and more vulnerable.

And before the outrage of “how dare you suggest I sad that”, it’s a philosophical question directed to no-one in particular except those who are prepared to think rationally rather than emotionally.

Its certainly not done as a matter of course.
Everyone needs their own private space.

I've never worked anywhere that has a camera in a bedroom,even if if it might seem the most logical thing.