Transitioning loved one

I don’t think any of us can possibly understand the need to transition unless it happens to us. We all know what a kind, thoughtful person Luckygirl is and her relative is indeed lucky to have someone like that to support them on their journey. At the same time we need to be here to support Luckygirl so she can offload what she, too, is going through.

PS whatever, he will not cease to be beautiful, and healthy, simply because he has recently become a man.

Luckygirl, I understand why you mentioned her looks. We all find our own young people just beautiful and it's sad they can't see it and are under so much pressure to look a certain way and this seems just an extension of it really

It worries so many with ASD/autism are now trans. It adds another layer to the complexities of self image but it worries me there might be more going on in the way of persuasion

FriedGreenTomatoes2

Transitioning wasn’t an option years ago.
I’m not sure just because we have the technology to interfere that we should.

The first time I heard of it was April someone, might have been Ashley. She was quite famous at the time. I think that was late 50s or early 60s. She went abroad somewhere. That was male to female transition though, can't remember when I first heard of female to male.

Luckygirl, are you sure he will want plastic surgery? I ask because I have a relative who is a trans woman. She took hormones but is pleased with how she makes love and still has a penis and a super girl friend.

I find it a lot to comprehend but have to accept her decision.

Luckygirl13 I wish you and your family all the luck in the world.
You have your own views and feelings
Try not to worry too much, it is a decision with has been taken and not yours to act on.
I hope they are happy now, and I am sure you will support them as you have already shown you can, come what may.

BlueBelle

Very unpleasant theworriedwell why remark unless you can add something positive within a difficult situation
I don’t understand your thought pattern Grannygranybe why to you imply that a man transitioning to a woman is a danger to society Do you really believe a person is only a threat if they own a penis what a strange thought pattern have you never heard of women killers

Please tell me how good looks compounds the issues round transitioning? Some people agree with it, some people don't a d some have mixed feelings l. All perfectly valid in my vote but how attractive someone is doesn't affect any of that.

it has been shown especially in the US that it is better to transition and pretend you are in a heterosexual relationship that be in a homosexual one. It is what is driving gender ideology there. Homophobia.

BlueBelle

We weren’t talking about men we were talking about transitioning folks weren’t we Galaxy ?

Well you answered grannygranby on this thread
You could have chosen to pm or ignore
Anyway, it is a point of view connected to the subject matter.

Treading on eggshells comes to mind Luckygirl.

Niece transitioned to nephew, now a very happy contented person in a relationship with another female.
When he was she life wasn’t happy now it is. What’s not to like?
My own view is this shouldn’t happen too young, but that’s it.

My concern is of course that they might regret their decisions. Irrevocable decisions.

They are and will be the same person - and we have a lovely relationship - and I hope that this will always be so. But above all else I want them to be happy, and I am concerned that this much-longed-for transition might not bring them what they want. That there are other underlying problems that they will take with them to their new body.

Up to now I have given them all the support and love that I can; but now that the actual concrete steps are being taken I worry that this will not be enough - that they will expect me to applaud their decision when in reality I have serious worries about it. I defend their right to make this decisions, but that does not take away my concerns.

They have asked me to talk with them about it and ask anything I want as they know I care; but I fear that any doubts expressed might jeopardise good relations in the future so i am treading gently. But not expressing doubts would be dishonest.

Thank you to those who have tried to understand and offer support.

Transitioning wasn’t an option years ago.
I’m not sure just because we have the technology to interfere that we should.

Luckygirl I would feel the same as you. To me it is mutilation but this young person has to decide for themselves. One hopes there has been no undue influence by organisations such as Mermaids and proper mental welfare advice has been given. All can do in such a situation is to accept it and hope that the individual remains happy after transitioning. Just treat them the same as always.

Well those peopke are all either made up of men or women.

BlueBelle

Very unpleasant theworriedwell why remark unless you can add something positive within a difficult situation
I don’t understand your thought pattern Grannygranybe why to you imply that a man transitioning to a woman is a danger to society Do you really believe a person is only a threat if they own a penis what a strange thought pattern have you never heard of women killers

I agree with your second paragraph.

Plenty of nasty, violent females around in the UK for centuries.

We weren’t talking about men we were talking about transitioning folks weren’t we Galaxy ?

Men are more dangerous than women, they commit 96% of violent sexual crime for example. But not sure this thread is the place for this.

Very unpleasant theworriedwell why remark unless you can add something positive within a difficult situation
I don’t understand your thought pattern Grannygranybe why to you imply that a man transitioning to a woman is a danger to society Do you really believe a person is only a threat if they own a penis what a strange thought pattern have you never heard of women killers

Lucky, all will be fine. I'm sure you know that but brilliant of you to admit your reservations - if only to us.

I have a friend whose grandchild transitioned too. She has said that Agony Aunts Coffee Club (ie we, her friends) kept her sane and enabled her to be the grandmother the person needed.

So, off load as much and as often as possible.

yes I think it is worrying. I realised quite young how much easier I would have found things had I been a boy..but some things are not in our gift...like when and to whom and where we are born. The sexes are a realistic actuality and what we can do is make it better; more equal in law between the sexes and become gender non conforming, less stereotyped.
But you don't have much choice. She will not be responsive to logic as it is ideological not logical. . The urge for females to become males in a patriarchy at least has some rational sense unlike the other way round which is often clouded by sexual motivations or mental health issues and can be a threat to females. There is no way your close relative will be a sexual threat as she hasn't got a penis.

Luckygirl why say it's compounded by her good looks if it doesn't matter. You clearly do think it matters or you wouldn't have said it.

Smileless2012

Why the need to be so unpleasant theworriedwell?

You're doing wonderfully Luckygirl, being loving and supportive despite your understandable concerns .

Well what have her looks to do with it? Saying her goods looks compounds it is ridiculous. Why would we worry more about people who are good looking?

I can imagine it must be very difficult for you, but as others have said, just try to remember that they are still the same person inside. I have a friend whose son transitioned to female, and she has admitted that it was very difficult at first, but now she has fully embraced having a daughter. Other family members are still struggling with it though. All you can do is be there and support them as best you can.

Why the need to be so unpleasant theworriedwell?

You're doing wonderfully Luckygirl, being loving and supportive despite your understandable concerns .