Transitioning loved one

Not so much to the degree that you are experiencing, however I worked quite closely with a girl living with someone who transitioned during their relationship.

This was over 10 years ago, the transition of this girl to live her life as a man is complete.

They are very happily married and very open about their transition and those who have met them since the transition would not know, unless told, that they once lived their life as a girl.

I don’t pretend to understand, but it’s obvious they are happy.

Please just hold onto the fact that it is the same person inside, still your dear friend.

I wish you both well

I think it is very difficult because of the Tories told by the de transitioners particularly women.
I think you can only be this persons friends whatever happens in the future.

Stories not Tories 🤦‍♀️

We had someone in my art group who transitioned from a young woman to a man and then moved to Europe. From photos on Instagram he is having a wonderful time now.. in a relationship, doing great art and travelling a lot with a group of friends.. He was quite open about what he was doing and seems very happy now.. I hope your relative finds the same..

Luckygirl, I can fully understand how this makes you feel, having been through it with my own son, now daughter. The best you can do is tell them that you fully support them, whatever they decide to do. Being on the autism spectrum does make her/him more vulnerable but they‘ll still know that they‘re not happy in their present situation. Best wishes

I find this new phenomenon disturbing I cannot deny.
Irrevocable damage to a perfect human body so that it can align with a mindset which sadly may change further down the line. I didn’t realise until recently how many young ‘uns ‘on the spectrum’ are the ones who undertake this the most. I feel for you Luckygirl as your maturity has given you greater insight into all this. No wonder you feel upset as you fear for your much loved relative’s future. One can only hope they find lasting happiness in their new body.

Really understand your feelings and concerns luckygirl
You are doing everything right but can imagine how I would feel about any of mygrandchildren although would I given the situation.? If I saw them happy and more content would I ? I don’t know the answer
It’s a huge undertaking though and the surgery and medication would really freak me out but hopefully they will turn into a very good looking handsome man and be at one with themself

Have you seen the unhappy side of them or has this come as an out of the blue shock ?

So it would worry you less if she was plain or even downright ugly? That seems very shallow.

theworriedwell

So it would worry you less if she was plain or even downright ugly? That seems very shallow.

I knew someone would get that dig in! Right on cue! There's always one!

I would of course care just the same whatever their looks - that goes without saying.

Why the need to be so unpleasant theworriedwell?

You're doing wonderfully Luckygirl, being loving and supportive despite your understandable concerns .

I can imagine it must be very difficult for you, but as others have said, just try to remember that they are still the same person inside. I have a friend whose son transitioned to female, and she has admitted that it was very difficult at first, but now she has fully embraced having a daughter. Other family members are still struggling with it though. All you can do is be there and support them as best you can.

Smileless2012

Why the need to be so unpleasant theworriedwell?

You're doing wonderfully Luckygirl, being loving and supportive despite your understandable concerns .

Well what have her looks to do with it? Saying her goods looks compounds it is ridiculous. Why would we worry more about people who are good looking?

Luckygirl why say it's compounded by her good looks if it doesn't matter. You clearly do think it matters or you wouldn't have said it.

yes I think it is worrying. I realised quite young how much easier I would have found things had I been a boy..but some things are not in our gift...like when and to whom and where we are born. The sexes are a realistic actuality and what we can do is make it better; more equal in law between the sexes and become gender non conforming, less stereotyped.
But you don't have much choice. She will not be responsive to logic as it is ideological not logical. . The urge for females to become males in a patriarchy at least has some rational sense unlike the other way round which is often clouded by sexual motivations or mental health issues and can be a threat to females. There is no way your close relative will be a sexual threat as she hasn't got a penis.

Lucky, all will be fine. I'm sure you know that but brilliant of you to admit your reservations - if only to us.

I have a friend whose grandchild transitioned too. She has said that Agony Aunts Coffee Club (ie we, her friends) kept her sane and enabled her to be the grandmother the person needed.

So, off load as much and as often as possible.

Very unpleasant theworriedwell why remark unless you can add something positive within a difficult situation
I don’t understand your thought pattern Grannygranybe why to you imply that a man transitioning to a woman is a danger to society Do you really believe a person is only a threat if they own a penis what a strange thought pattern have you never heard of women killers

Men are more dangerous than women, they commit 96% of violent sexual crime for example. But not sure this thread is the place for this.

We weren’t talking about men we were talking about transitioning folks weren’t we Galaxy ?

BlueBelle

Very unpleasant theworriedwell why remark unless you can add something positive within a difficult situation
I don’t understand your thought pattern Grannygranybe why to you imply that a man transitioning to a woman is a danger to society Do you really believe a person is only a threat if they own a penis what a strange thought pattern have you never heard of women killers

I agree with your second paragraph.

Plenty of nasty, violent females around in the UK for centuries.

Well those peopke are all either made up of men or women.

Luckygirl I would feel the same as you. To me it is mutilation but this young person has to decide for themselves. One hopes there has been no undue influence by organisations such as Mermaids and proper mental welfare advice has been given. All can do in such a situation is to accept it and hope that the individual remains happy after transitioning. Just treat them the same as always.

Transitioning wasn’t an option years ago.
I’m not sure just because we have the technology to interfere that we should.

My concern is of course that they might regret their decisions. Irrevocable decisions.

They are and will be the same person - and we have a lovely relationship - and I hope that this will always be so. But above all else I want them to be happy, and I am concerned that this much-longed-for transition might not bring them what they want. That there are other underlying problems that they will take with them to their new body.

Up to now I have given them all the support and love that I can; but now that the actual concrete steps are being taken I worry that this will not be enough - that they will expect me to applaud their decision when in reality I have serious worries about it. I defend their right to make this decisions, but that does not take away my concerns.

They have asked me to talk with them about it and ask anything I want as they know I care; but I fear that any doubts expressed might jeopardise good relations in the future so i am treading gently. But not expressing doubts would be dishonest.

Thank you to those who have tried to understand and offer support.

Niece transitioned to nephew, now a very happy contented person in a relationship with another female.
When he was she life wasn’t happy now it is. What’s not to like?
My own view is this shouldn’t happen too young, but that’s it.