BLACK DOG 25

Hi all
HVDY- yes we,ve been lucky that our 2 families feel like one big one.
Glad Jaffa is OK- I,m with you I hate this intense heat. DD little cats don’t like it either. Yesterday when we got in the car to do their tea the temp in the car was 40degrees!! Your poor legs must get tired very quickly .You did well to do Aqua Aerobics
Although I expect the water must feel lovely on them. It’s rained here too- nice cooling gentle rain.
Doodle- yes you are right I did fancy getting in the pool with the dog- it had little spurting fountains all round the edge.
Hope you,ve been to Church this morning- it’s certainly cooler than yesterday isn’t it.
We went to the Churchyard this morning to put flowers there for my DS and his Dad. This month is Anniversary time - how those years have flown by but when I stand there it’s like it was yesterday.
Wyllow- Hope you,ve been able to arrange your lift for Monday. Certain journeys do seem more daunting don’t they. I understand you would rather go back to Quakers on a positive note rather than asking a favor- you will be welcomed back with open arms.
I have lost confidence but still enjoy driving day to day.
Another lost ability - years ago I used to drive on my own backwards and forwards across the Channel and well beyond . It’s the courage that has gone not the ability.
Glad you feel more in control of “pacing” as it is so vital for you not to overstretch yourself. Re your ex I think we just don’t want you to ever be that hurt again.
Have a good dayxx
SweetPeaSue- Hope you managed to sleep well - yesterday was so hot and tiring wasn’t it. Maybe see you later.
EllieAnne- Glad to hear from you .x

Love to all

Wyllow3 I have my eyes tested at SpecSavers but get my specs from Specs 2 You, and I have plastic frames, so no digging in at the sides of my nose. I hope you manage to get someone to take you on Monday, but if not, would it be too expensive to get taxis?

SweetpeaSue DIL and her girl love musicals (Son2 can't bear them, same as me), and they're having Sunday evening til Monday evening in London (nice for some), going to see something then do shopping. Hope you and your DH are better in this cooler weather.

How's everyone today? It rained during the night and is cooler and fresher today. Did aqua aerobics and I suppose I've got no excuse to leave the ironing any longer . Love to all x

I woke at 6am very afraid of going to my Monday appointment at the hospital alone, I don't trust myself in the car although I'm usually a very confident and competent driver.

One of Ex's gifts to me was that he was a very good driving instructor. I learnt so very much from him, Every drive a lesson (mixed blessing, but proved I could drive well under that pressure).

so I've contacted the hospital volunteer group that can offer it, and waiting for a call back. I could of course ask Quakers, but having been out of contact for so long, its too much to face all the emotions there, just atm, as of course I long to go back and get that feeling of "coming home" to my last significant group.

I'm just glad you came in Ellie Ann. We all care.

I’m ok. Very low but still here xx

My dear lovely all, today I really did make progress about pacing myself. Of course, I did get it all right, but I am both self observing constantly and also singing "tis a gift to be simple" to being me back down.

Yes I'm aware I haven't responded to wise "dont get over involved" advice. Let me reassure you by giving you part of the text I sent to Ex's best friend who is the only one who has stood by him:

As regards Ex:
I remain very sad, and concerned: I don’t like making a fuss to you but think it for the best.

Anyway, have pondered on and off what’s best. As you said, ‘the light had gone out of Ex's eyes’.

I’m hoping when you see Ex, you can discern "if the light is back, even a twinkle, my thoughts are to leave it alone.

If the "light has gone", then I’m hoping you might take it further, but not necessarily the way I was rather bossy about"

It's just nice to see you in, Sweetpeasue.

Night night to all BD's whoever you are. xx

I should have come in earlier. So tired now so can't post to all as I'd like.
Just want till say to Wyllow Please to pace yourself slowly but you're doing good.
Will def be back tomorrow. Love to all.

Thank you Doodle, I needed that reassurance. Appreciated.

Yes it has been massively hot for many, hasn't it? It drains all the energy out of you. do you find this a positive or a negative (or in-between thing?) It's nice you can think of us all in your circumstances x

I do keep thinking of you EllieAnn as you have been in a very bad space - Nadateturbe too, and out other regulars on and off, and of course readers.

HVDY I agree with your post who Wyllow. Please don’t risk bringing yourself down again. Lovely day with little Girl. Maybe she’ll like the swings when she gets older.
Wyllow please post whatever songs you like. I don’t listen because I know how music affects me. Glad you get pleasure from it.
Scaredycat glad you had a lovely time with SS. If I were you I’d be sorely tempted to get in the pool with the dog.
Sweetpeasue many, many people like musicals. DH and I never did so we didn’t go to any except We will Rock Yoi. The :Queen musical. We went to that twice and loved it,
Sorry I’m too hot and tired to write much tonigh but I’m thinking of you all xx

Yes, HVDY, like supermarkets, as I found yesterday at around midday, are lovely and cool. And Specsavers, bless, gave me silicone nose bits instead of hard ones, they had left a nasty mark. Have you taken advantage of this yet?

The gym has very good aircon, and of course free showers to reduce spending on electrics and water. Everything little adds up.

I think the temp was about the same at mine as yours, as indoors at the peak time of day and my coolest room was 28 degrees. As regards your legs, in this weather (as I've told my neighbour, who has pretty much the same as you)

I suggested that regularly through the day she lies on her bed and props her legs up on the headboard of wall to drain the fluids down. I do it myself, because although I dont have those conditions my legs are getting older too and when I was depressed my ankles did get puffy and still are so I am working on them and also wiggling.circling my ankles when my legs are in the air.
You had a splendid day with LittleGirl -you deserved those flowers and chocs.

Its most definitely not OK to burn things Sweetpeasue - peoples washing out and so on. but I checked out our local council and here at least its not actually illegal.

Its, "City Council discourages bonfires due to the potential for air pollution and nuisance to neighbours, but they are not illegal unless they cause a statutory nuisance

If you are having a bonfire, it's recommended to use dry material only and avoid burning materials like household waste, rubber, or plastics.

It's also wise to inform neighbours beforehand and avoid burning at weekends or on bank holidays"

This might give you guidance as regards what it is illegal to burn?

I find the internet ordering and delivery of so many things a total blessing, Scaredycat - changed my life. I cant imagine coping now without it, it would be a sadder and smaller life.

Wyllow3 Glad you had a nice catch-up with your nephew. Please be very wary of getting involved with your ex and his problems. It has taken you a long time to get over all the upset with him. Being compassionate is all well and good, but your own MH is more important. Gyms are lovely and air-conditioned, aren't they? Our local Co-Op is lovely and cool .

SweetpeaSue It was 32 degrees here yesterday, and not much cooler at night. I hate it. Your neighbour sounds very inconsiderate. Isn't it against the council rules to burn things? Have a look at the website for your local council and report it. I'd have words with the neighbour. Jaffa's fine, thanks. The heat has been too much for him, so I've bathed him with a wet flannel.

ScaredyCat How nice that you get on so well with those GC. Jaffa's been sleeping under the trampoline. He comes in to use his litter tray . His FIV doesn't appear to be affecting him. I cannot stand this weather. My legs ache and feel heavy with the Vasculitis. I bet your SS's dog loves the paddling pool! I suggested to Son1 that they get one for their dog (part Husky), but they put the hosepipe on her and she enjoys that.

Doodle Hope you've had a good day.
How's everyone else been?

Little Girl was here at 7.30. After breakfast, she played outside with the sand, then I took her when I met my friend at a garden centre. We all had a cold drink. After lunch, DH and I took LG to a park, although she only likes the slide (she hates anything that moves - swing, seesaw, etc). She went home at 4. Son2 and DIL gave us flowers and a box of chocolates. Love to all x

Life has been very full, and mostly very good (sad bit being EX) - but what has impelled me in right now - as I need to rest, is the great news that my oh so good and recently found GP:

Her referral on my ear troubles was so effective…
…. I have an appointment with a top consultant next Monday morning - instead of an 18 week wait. First of all I wanted to keep the summer free for family, but it really is such a trial having every single conversation with one ear and having to explain, or apologise, or ask someone to speak up and repeat themselves..you get the picture. And of course I can enjoy sounds as much. I’ll see how it goes before saying anything further, for it there was a solution not involving an operation then no need to consider the when and where of an operation.

Scaredycat that afternoon was lovely - in the heat of the day, relaxing in the shade, lots of family, drinks, cake. Today is cooler, thankfully, here.

Sweetpeasue, I’ve always loved chimes thats a “must get some”. What is the sound like?

You remind me of Mrs Next door, HVDY. She too is involved in buying and selling, its e Bay for her. She snaffled the IKEA chair I put outside my house, I saw it in the garage . I’m sure it’s the heat, Jaffa’s not eating a lot - it happens to humans too. I think some of us eat less, others go for cakes. I go for savoury treats cobbled together from the fridge, as I dont have to think, just go there and make something up.

Loving music as I do Doodle, but it having become “Dead” to me when I was very depressed, I really do understand what I say, and sometimes wonder if I should post certain songs. But with healing, if it has been important, it will come back. Tracing back my recovery, it didnt all happen at once at all, there were signs, but I didnt recognise them till afterwards^

I pray that is what happens for you too.

Oh yes Scaredycat. To reassure you I will copy the exact text I sent to his friend, obvs with names taken out.

“As regards Ex: I remain very sad, and concerned, I don’t like making a fuss to you but think it for the best.

I have pondered on and off while you were away, what’s best. As you said, ‘the light had gone out of Ex’s eyes”

I’m hoping he does go to the funeral, (its coming up sometime soon, BD’s)

as if the light is back, even a twinkle, my thoughts are ‘leave it alone’.

If the light has gone, then I’m hoping you might take it further, but not necessarily the way I was rather bossy about.”

I shall return after a rest and catch up on other BD’s, I’ve missed contact, and its very grounding to come in.

Later. xx

Wyllow I meant sauna bit,,

Hi all
SweetPeaSue - SS lives about half an hour away and as you say the Air Con was lovely in the car!! It was a nice afternoon out in the garden under a gazebo with drinks and cake. Lots to catch up on. SS little dog had a doggie paddling pool to sit in!!
Your chime sounds lovely - is it shaped like a Crescent Moon?
What a totally inconsiderate man to start up his incinerator just when the evening is lovely to sit out in. What does he find to burn so often🤔
Hope today is cooler for you both and Fluffball - it’s even hotter today 🥵🥵
HVDY- Get together was so nice thank you. We haven’t seen those GC for about 2 years . They are 32 and 25 so we had plenty to chat about.
The locker collection sounds OK. I,m always a bit scared of security buying online with a new company but do love the convenience and choice of,online.Hope Jaffa gets his appetite back - it must be the heat . Does his FIV affect him at all?
How are you feeling in this relentless heat?
Doodle- I love musical theatre and some songs are so uplifting and stirring. But I understand your reluctance to avoid the hurt that hearing beloved music brings. I hope one day you will be able to listen again - it is such a big part,of life.
Good news you,ve done a bit of drawing- how was your hand after? What did you draw?
How are you dealing with this heat- it’s getting ridiculous today. My hair is all wet and sweaty - not a good look!!
Wyllow- what an uplifting visit from your Nephew and exciting news about the baby. Bet you enjoyed that hug. Good idea to leave the Gym til later- DH went this morning but I don’t understand the steam room and sun a bit- it’s like that outside!!
Please be careful about getting involved re,your Ex. It’s sad he’s in a bad way but so have you been and life is starting again for you. Your compassion is admirable but please take care and remember to take it slow sometimes.
Hope you had a good nights sleep .
EllieAnne- how are you today?

Love to all - thinking of all friends old and new

and this is the song that follows simple gifts

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQP1kZXlOow&list=RD4RPUjuraS5U&index=2

its now 00.30, and I'm too tired to read today's posts properly, so I will say goodnight to all BD's with this song "simple gifts", but I have slowed it down courtesy U tube settings as I need slow"

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RPUjuraS5U&list=RD4RPUjuraS5U&start_radio=1

I had a long day, full of colour some exceptional bits, some just good, some annoying, and some real sadness and concern.

I had a good session this morning dyeing some tatty nights good as new “tulip read, and done. A lot of tidying as nephew was coming.

Successful shop - where else can you get cool in the middle of the day but a well laid out supermarket? I had to tidy, and was getting very excited and nervous indeed…couldst rest really so pottered.

It was lovely seeing my nephew. He arrived on his super racing bike and gave me a hug, sorted computer stuff, then a family natter, he talked about their baby due on Christmas Day

I went to the gym in the cooler evening. I had a lovely yoga time on the mats near the big window and then weights.

Home to some deli pick and choose stuff, and a small bottle prosecco

I drove by my Ex Mil’s house on the way back, Its not being cleared out of furniture, that means a home. Its terribly sad I lost contact with Ex’s mum: but Ex’s brother will not have contact with me: he blames me for peer of it all: but tomorrow I’m going to contact Ex’s friend, beauase Ex is in a very, very bad state in deed and we need to find out how bad.

I do grieve about him, and ended about my first husband, as we split up precipitately when I was on a high and “ordered him out”.
But it was done knowing that where he went there were lots of friends and his work, and really, things had not been on a good state at all. He has accepted this a long time ago but it was done..well like a bi polar person might do!

But this grieving is now compassionate: except for Ex, a great deal of concern as well.

I think this balance is good : it ameliorates a high by ‘reality checks”

For everyone - the candle, the frog, and the tortoise, with love..

Doodle I like musical show numbers though there are some that can be sad.
Glad you saw a friend this morning.
Good question about the moon wind chime! At present it's hung against the trellis to get powered up by the sun. We might put it on the hook above side of back door where we used to put hanging baskets. I'm hoping it's not too noisy!
HVDY I can't bear the heat - it reached 28 here which was higher than forecast. We were going to sit out in the shade tonight but neighbour started burning stuff in incinerator ( he does this about 4 times a week) and then next door to him started burning stuff! Sigh.
Forecast much cooler here tomorrow.
Hope Jaffa's OK, probs heat as you say.
EllieAnne Hope you're OK.

Wyllow. Hope the burnt toast smell has gone now. It lingers for such a long time. You’re lucky to have kept your figure mine has gone to pot…..literally. Have a love
Y time with your nephew.
Scaredycat silly though it sounds i only go to music events we’re don’t like the music e.g. jazz or musical show numbers. That was i can sit it out . If anyone sings a love song or the music is melancholy then I just cry. I don’t enjoy music at all any more and avoid it as much as possible.
I like the thought of your dad sitting with his feet in cold water. Sort of thing I’d do.
Sweetpeasue I did have coffe with my friend this morning. This afternoon I’ve been drawing a little. Your moon chime sounds nice. Wh ere will you put it?
HVDY you are doing so well with vinted. I bet you miss little girl while she’s away.
Ellie Anne another one here thinking of you

SweetpeaSue It's been unbearably hot and humid, so DH and I only went to a garden centre (something he dislikes), had a cold drink and a scone. Jaffa's off his food a bit, in this heat. Wish it would rain a bit.

Hope everyone has been ok x

Wyllow3 The burnt toast smell lingers, doesn't it? I'm well-known for cooking a meal, being distracted by something, then leaving it to burn (hence why DH now cooks instead). I've always done it, though. Hope you saw your nephew ok.
ScaredyCat How was your family get-together? I collect my Vinted parcels from a locker at a nearby shop. Easy to do. My sons are 6ft 2 and 5ft 11. DH is 5ft 10, so they all look down on me .

Scardycat Aw those cats have been through a lot then and kind of your DD to give them a better life. Hope you've been OK with the AF in this hot weather and the journey to visit your DH's grandchildren wasn't long one. It can actually feel cooler in the car with the air con though.
Wyllow I was being lighthearted about the man in the Gym so worried I'd said it afterwards but anyway glad he's a nice friendly chap. Hope you've had a nice visit from your nephew.
HVDY It's been so hot here and I know it's usually hotter where you are. Some like it hot but we'd rather have it cooler ( at risk of sounding like grumps) .
Doodle Hoping you've been OK today and seen friends.

Went to garden centre and we bought a lovely solar 'moon garden chime' half- price. I read a little in the garden this aft but couldn't stay out long .
Have Fluffball tomorrow instead of Thursday but so glad it will be cooler.
Hope everyone has been OK . Take care all.

Hi all
Doodle - glad you had that lovely weekend. Filled with music ,friends and food treats. Choirs always stir the emotions don’t they- I love to see and hear people singing . My friend belongs to Rock Choir and loves it.
Yes walking in the mountains is special isn’t it- right now though we must be glad we can walk in our own little part of the world. We used to love it if we came across Marmots and would spend ages watching them - such cuties.
Today is beyond hot isn’t it- I remember my Dad used to sit in our back hall with his feet on a bowl of water- he hated the heat!!
SweetPeaSue- No DDs little cats aren’t at all creepy but they are different as they were street cats and have taken a long time to recover from the trauma of coming from Qatar by plane.
Don’t feel guilty for not always taking your aunt out- you need time together and DH,s need is greater. She probably doesn’t have much perception of time and isn’t confident with a phone anymore.
I like cold butter with a TC but those little cafe portions are so small! Worse if it’s all soft and melty!
Ha ha - you sweat cobs now! Today is terribly hot- we are going to see DH 2 grown up GC who live abroad but are visiting my SS & DiL.
Then back to cat duty - I tired already and it’s only midday😩
HVDY - I love fluffy cats and the bigge4 the better!
I had a look at Vinted - it’s brilliant . What great stuff and such a good idea. I saw a dress I liked so am a bit tempted. You are well stocked up now. Do you have home deliveries? You’re the same height as GD1 who still gets asked for ID sometimes and she’s 39!,
Have a nice day out with DH but lots of drink stops - it’s boiling
Wyllow- Sunday was full on for you wasn’t it- finishing with the Toast Saga!! As if it wasn’t hot enough! You are right your STOP button needs pressing sometimes before you overdo things. You’re so full of life now it’s bursting out of you but take some pit stops in between. Time to pace yourself.
Keep hydrated at the Gym today- so pleased you’re enjoying it again. Nice to see old familiar faces too.
It,ll be good to see your nephew later- it’s great for you to have some family connection nearby.
Have a good day.
EllieAnne- how are you?
Nadateturbe- thinking of you. Are you getting this heatwave too?

Love to all. Hoping our missing posters are doing as well as they can - thinking of you .

Wyllow Oh no- burnt toast really smells strong ,good thing it didn't set alight and you're ok. You must have been exhausted. Take it easy and have a nice meeting with nephew.
Not sure what we'll be doing today. So hot .