BLACK DOG 25

Oh * Wyllow* I'm so sorry about your bowel probs. Usually the Movicol works though it cab take a few dys if very bad. I admit ,it's not the nicest stuff- it can leave me feeling sick ,but there again, so can other stuff I've tried.
All the best for you ringing surgery - it really needs to be sorted so don't let it get worse. Hugs. I know how nasty bowel probs can get and you've had enough probs.
Oh Ive played that little piece- think it's from a selection - Foreign Lands Afar and I've always loved it. Seems to be questioning then trying to answer.
Hope you're asleep right now and not in pain.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJJ54tHW8YI

Kinderszenen - delightful little piano piece - just over a minute, Schumann

Re the movicol - unfortunately, no.

I've just had to ring 111, totally impacted with very painful internal/external piles, but needing prompt treatment and it was really quick to get through and very nice lady there after all the rumours you hear about waiting for hours.
They are sending notes to my GP saying I have to see a GP, I must ring early, but it's not really treatable by the GP, so we'll see.

Doodle Good to see you in but I'm sorry you've not much progress with your wrists/ hands. Cancelling your husband's phone contract must have felt very 'final '. Hope you haven't anything else that will have the awful continued reminders . It's not that you need all that stuff anyway- you are living the constant daily life of your unbearable loss.
HVDY Thankyou for your caring towards me. Yes, indeed , I meed to be well for him.
Good luck with tomorrow's phone call to surgery.
Wyllow It's a great thing your Gastro expert sis can help. So glad you're now in touch with her. Hoping the movicol will do its best right now.
Understand you just wanting to dip your
toe back into Quakers but not wanting any deep 'monitoring' thing.

Best night all BDs and anyone reading.

Oh, do get him to the GP…some blokes are so hard to persuade. I’ve just managed to install GN on my mobile so can travel with GN.

Doodle It was delicious, thanks. Ah, another little sad thing to deal with. Hope you manage to get out somewhere tomorrow.

SweetpeaSue It's a computer monitor , nothing medical. GPs are constantly pushing statins. My total cholesterol is 3.5, but they would like me to take statins (they can sod off). With a rapid access appointment, I imagine it'll be soon. Try not to worry too much, you'll make yourself bad, and your husband needs you.

Wyllow3 Those flowers will be beautiful when they're in full bloom. I don't know how to put photos on! I believe they're backed up from my mobile (but I haven't got a clue where). I like internet shopping, Facebook, YouTube and Google, but not too bothered about much else. I'm pleased you're in touch with your Quakers group again.

Hope to get onto the GP triage thing tomorrow morning - DH told me he's had blood in his wee (but only the first one in the morning) for a few days. He's on pills for his prostate, so that may be the trouble. Men! x

HVDY - My planting was just these little ageratum annuals, they develop into 6/7 inch soft purple flowers, and in the centre, it’s a pink little geranium cut back for a second flowering.
That was so good to do, but I feel best about how nice and neat my front verge is now all cut and trim and swept up.

Your afternoon tea, on this glorious day, had my favourite soup in, how yummy. A 24” inch monitor is superb - do you put photos onto it?

That’s a huge trigger, Doodle, naturally it was very upsetting - letting go..Never feel you need to say sorry, it must be so frustrating for you in every way.

Mm, jacket potatoes, and butter and salt and pepper *Sweetpeasue” I’m glad your air fryer is working out.
I’m not surprised you have little energy after yesterday, and its is still clearly a big worry. It does come across there are so many variables and different things to tackle and do indeed hope the Rapid Access comes soon.

I am in a tummy crisis, but I’m getting a lot of support from DocSis thank goodness - combination constipation and bleeding internal piles , tum is like 7 months pregnant, but as I said can ring sis anytime. I think I’ve said before I’ve had 3 bowel operations so am vulnerable, but it’s discomfort not pain.

I did ring a Quaker from my meeting, she’s sort of been appointed as my pastoral care person, but I didnt want to know.
I didn’t talk long, just to say hello, explain what was going on, and asked her to say hello. She understood the up-down thing but was glad I have got a heart with Quakery feelings back.

EllieAnne Sorry to hear there are still family problems and the issue about Golden Wedding Anniversary still a worry. Sounds like those friends don't understand at all. As HVDY says you can always come here. Wish I could help more.
HVDY What a lovely afternoon tea and serving the soup in little cups. All nice touches. Sorry ,think I might have missed something in a previous post-- what is the monitor for?
Wyllow Good thing to keep your psychologist properly informed with the diary .I'm sure she'll get to know your issues and worries a lot more clearly. I can see it must be easier her knowing the background of yourself and ex. I agree about the moving - a big thing for anyone without MH difficulties.
Glad you're making the garden your own. Yes, what did you get for planter?
Hope the chemist got your meds right.
It's so good to see you interested in things.
Doodle Hoping you're not in so much pain and thinking of you.
Scaredycat Hadn't realised you'd taken in so many islands- that was some trip.
Fancy us doing the same first meal in air- fryer. It was so good I did the same tonight but microwaved the jackets for a couple of mins to lesson airfryer time. Still good.
Crosstitchfan Kind of you to come in with some help for EllieAnne

I just have no energy today. DH has not had good day either( still same Angina like symptoms and arm pain. He had a message from GP on his NHS app to double his Statin dosage. He already takes 20 mg and GP said he could try doubling it 40mg . Idea was to try and get bad cholesterol down . His bad cholesterol was only a 3 anyway and GP thought it might lower to 2•something.
He took new dose this morning and has felt even worse today. I don't think it's worth it. He's still got bpm of 51 today .
Just hope his appt for Rapid Access comes soon.

Wishing all a comfortable night and free from worry. X

Evening all. HVDY hope you enjoyed your afternoon tea. God day for it.
Sweetpeasue Good your Dh got seen and referral done.
Scaredycat the jigsaw was made specially for me. Our son knows I love his dogs so he got one of them printed for me.
wyllow so good to hear you being more positive.
Ellie Anne no one else knows what goes on in a marriage, You can always talk to us here.

Been sad today. Finally cancelled DH’s phone contract. The last of those sort of calls I think. Been a bit miserable ever since. I’m ok now. Will probably go to bed early.
It’s not the size of the jigsaw pieces that causes a problem but movement of fingers like the typing it makes my hands ache so much. Sorry I can’t do more xx

Wyllow3 I bet your garden is looking nice. What plants did you get? Your Psychologist understands you and (like us on BD) doesn't want you to rush into moving. Take things steady. You're doing great at the moment.

ScaredyCat Did you see a lot of birds? A man at my day centre place is a keen Ornithologist and tells us about birds we haven't ever heard of.

EllieAnne You can share things on here, if you ever want to.

How has everyone been today?

Afternoon tea was gorgeous. Apart from assorted sandwiches, cakes and a scone with jam and cream, there were small cups of carrot & coriander soup, plus cheese straws. Very good. Bought a reconditioned, 24-inch monitor for £45, with a 5-year guarantee, so I'm happy with it. DH out with Son1, so I've got the house to myself x

Ellie Anne

Thanks for your concern. Still wrestling with family problems. Shared golden wedding issue with a couple of friends and was made to feel in the wrong for not being grateful so I’m not mentioning it to anyone.
I can hardly speak in the house and feel like I’m shrinking ( not literally unfortunately).

Ellie Anne, share it here, as much as you feel safe doing, you never know, it might help xx

That trip round the islands - the photos and memories to treasure. Its on of the wonderful things about the internet - photos onto the computer, and browsing through them, Scaredycat, who could have predicted such weather?

I remember vividly Doodle you describing how glad you are to have these photos videos of DH: painful/poignant to watch , but treasured none the less.

(In my own way, on a much much lesser scale of course, I would not be without the pluses and minuses of videos and photos of Ex, it reminds me both of happy times and when he was crazy (yes, I did a couple of videos when he was off the scale. At the time I thought it would be to reply them to him if he denied it (as it does no good to deny that bit of oneself)..anyway they are there.

Yes, my psychologist was spot on, and I am so grateful, tell you why, she is the only person left working with me who went through the last terrible year with Ex - you can imagine why thats important.

Laters, all.

Yes *S

Thanks for your concern. Still wrestling with family problems. Shared golden wedding issue with a couple of friends and was made to feel in the wrong for not being grateful so I’m not mentioning it to anyone.
I can hardly speak in the house and feel like I’m shrinking ( not literally unfortunately).

I do think it's difficult for new comers, because the reality is that a small number do know each other well I would find it difficult too. Maybe a way in is just to post a bit about yourself and join in if and when it feels OK.
You do not have to post long replies mentioning all, that is a choice of those here quite a bit but

Honestly. it is not a rule. Sometimes people who post a lot one say come in with a wave the next. We dont do spats or unkindness or unwanted advice (mostly, we cant always get it right, and know "you can take the horse to the water, but not make it drink".

Anyway, pontification over. Just trying to make it easier should more want to join in.

Hi all
Doodle- that puzzle is definitely going to be hard but lovely when it’s finished. Did your Son get it made for you?
My DD likes jigsaws and the lockdown Xmas I had one made for her from a pic I took of the Grand Canal.
Do so wish your wrist could start showing some signs of improvement for you.
SweetPeaSue- well sounds like the GP listened yesterday- with a bit of feeling embarrassed I would think.
You did the same first meal in your Air Fryer as we did!! They do cook meat well don’t they.
HVDY- Afternoon tea is always a treat- what a lovely gift. I love all the little cakes the most. Don’t think about Slimming World- keep one foot on the floor if you’re weighed!,
We are enjoying this holiday thank you. The boat trip was around 7 Islands - quite a Bird Sanctuary .
Crossstitchfan- - sensible words for EllieAnne but everyone reacts differently to that sort of news. Especially when the relationship with the person who has died was one which caused great distress or hurt.
Wyllow- what a great family your Sis has - 4 lovely lads. She needed a big house!!
Good treats yesterday - your taste buds must be waking up by the minute. Costa too- lovely to be able to sit outside.
You did well with the gardening and getting your plants in the planter- your choice , your colours and your work. I couldn’t be happier for you.
Your psychologist is Spot on - especially about taking time over considering a possible move. As we,ve said one day at a time but there’s nothing wrong with thinking of future plans. So good to have you here and sharing your better days. X
EllieAnne- hope you’re OK.

I have been thinking about our regular but not so frequent posters too- as Wyllow said. Yes we know each other but always pleased to welcome new people with kindness and understanding. When I first found BDs I was really scared of joining in but everyone was lovely and it changed my life.

Take care allx

Have you got your new monitor, HVDY? Its too hot to do a lot.

We haven't heard back from Ellie Anne, Crosstitchfan, I'm hoping that she has managed to cope. Ellie Anne, when you are ready.

I've just done some gardening, it was hot, but now the front verge looks respectable looking down the street as a whole. I dont think the council has come this year, and I dont begrudge doing my own verge as rather the money went to social needs. Anyway, some people get a helping hand from neighbours.

Remember I am keeping a diary and mail to my psychologist ?

she has written back, as well as giving me an extra appointment after I see the psychiatrist, this is late July. But basically she said

A real strength of yours is your genuine interest in others e.g. computer man. Lots of progress has been made: , computer, booking ECG(!), reconnecting with first ex husband (DS’s Dad), gardening, more interest/pleasure in appearance, chatting with neighbour, phoning electrician, audiology appointment arranged, cuppa at Costa, additional time with carer to go on an outing.
Take it steady with thoughts about moving – remember last time, don’t rush into big decisions".

I talk at lot about BD's and my online activity, which keeps me going, I guess she takes that for granted, I write a lot about making my online posting safe and right for me (get that wrong on and off a lot!)

Felt very fortunate, and somewhat guilty that others aren't getting this help, except they recognise as I do this is a crucial time for not getting too high and like Icarus, falling from too great a height.

Ellie Anne

Last night I had some news which has disturbed me and I don’t know how I am supposed to feel or react.
Some of you may remember the lady in my church that I had problems with. She took advantage of my good friend and spread lies about me. She expected everyone to pander to her and had to be the centre of attention all the time.
Last night she died .
I don’t know what happened only that she was taken to hospital and they couldn’t save her.
Her poor husband doted on her and did everything for her and will be lost. She was super obese and very lazy so he did everything for her.
I feel sorry for him but I can’t pretend that she was a nice person because she has died so I guess I’m not a nice person either.

Your thoughts on this woman do not make you a bad person, so don’t feel guilty. This person doesn’t sound likeable at all - why should you like her?
I try to see the best in everyone, allowing for the fact they may have personal issues, but some people are much more difficult to like than others. You don’t need to know how you ‘should’ feel, as there is no need to feel anything, or even to react to her death.
If it were me, I think I would feel a tad relieved. Not that she has died (I wouldn’t wish that on anybody) but that I am now free of her. I think you should feel the same.

Chemist job done. I hope, as I've asked for a couple of meds haven't had for some time and out of date, but they are on my record "I'll have to ask the Doc". anyway, it leaves me free now to potter and focus on loading on Movicol, say no more...

Just planted out first plants for 2 years. Small steps, its a round wide planter near the French windows.

That afternoon tea sounds a treat, HVDY. Bests for getting the right monitor.

My only “must do” today is a GP chemist ring this morning for monthly meds order.

I was prepared for a ring yesterday, carted round my phone all day with me, they rung - I didnt hear…

Duh, my ringer was set to “off” when I got the new phone. On now!

Wyllow3 S.savers computer thing sounds a good idea. Clever technology.

I'm going to try to get a new monitor for our PC today. I don't like doing this on my mobile. Afternoon tea at Colwick Hall later, a gift from Son2 and DIL. Not sure I dare to get weighed at Slimming World tomorrow! Hope all BDers manage to have a decent day x

Doodle Sorry your wrists are still painful. When do you next see someone about your worst one?

ScaredyCat What a nice holiday you're having. I love boat trips. Enjoy your week.

Wyllow3 You're getting on so well. It's really good to know. That SpecSavers

Wyllow3

SweetpeaSue Glad the appointment went ok. My BPM is usually 60 - 70 but then I'm on Bisoprolol, which causes it to slow down. 51 IS low. I'm glad the GP took notice and I hope the referral appt will come through quickly. Glad you liked the air cooker. Son1 has got the one you've got and the kids there like to use it occasionally.

This popped into my mind unannounced.
And it matched just what I felt. I know it feels “out of reach” but to be longed for.

(I chose one with lyrics and found a nice sort of “home made” one.)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIhAuhMKKg0

Air fryers are fab according to DS Sweetpeasue, like many, they swear by it. Clearly you have found that, HVDY*

I’m glad you had a nice day with LittleGirl, and you were both tired.

Yes, to all BD’s really. If I get back to the gym it will be probably the most significant step in recovery. I’ll take it slow tho, if I feel happy when I go for facial, and chat to a couple of staff (its such a nice place, they keep their same staff long term) I’ll know more.

Scardeycat Sis has 4 boys and they all have partners, no offspring as yet. I think they are too busy having good lives mostly but I know she will get a good crop of DGC in the next few years. She’ll love that, I suspect she has a big house as she always want them to be able to stay. Yes - revolution in treats since I’ve been better - little tubs of savoury treats, top of the brand strawberries, and some ginger crunchy shortbread thins (Low sugar, I dont like sweet things a lot tho have been known to buy choc - but if I do, it disappears too rapidly.

I actually stopped at the costa one my wn after the shop. Big step. Managed it on and off, but it was in the sun.

You are having a lovely time - a sea trip with islands and birds -top day, will arrange a magic carpet to join you.

Dear Doodle, lots of love back. There was a news item on a lovely hospice on the Beeb, it made me think of you and understand better why you go back.

Sweetpeasue I’ve been waiting for your news. I’m glad it went well - perhaps there are bound to be some variance in interpretations…but you got the best outcome, the referral presume tomorrow morning. Take BD’s in your handbag.

I was lucky when I went to the Specsavers in Sainsbugs. They can do amazing things on the computer now - time was, I would have had to have a new appointment measuring eyes for the close up specs so I can sew etc. Now they enter your details in the computer and it comes up with the right adjustment for each eye, and you specify the degree of magnification, I had him bump it up so effectively they magnify close up work.

Yes, getting your eyes tested is part of the aviation “Oxygen mask on”.

Well I did so much this afternoon am now too tired to enumerate. Lets just say I’ve managed fairly well to keep a balance - Idiot get my afternoon sleep but did remember to take th meds - tomorrow there is now now nothing in the diary except the chemist call 10 till 12, I made them promise.

I want to get my little plants out in the planter. Give me a reminder if I dont say I have!

Best nights BD’s.. I hope our occasional posters are OK - I know its difficult to post on this thread, when clearly there is a small group who know each other, but all are welcome as in the guidelines not said - but observable, here.

xx