BLACK DOG 25

Had my ups and downs this year healthwise . Spent week split between 2 hospitals in January. I was well looked after but haven't got the strength back in my arms I had. On extra tablets which are helping . But still keeping busy. Started going to another exercise class. And new craft group which is only once a month and a cuppa and cake group once a month. Both are free. But I bake for the craft group. Can't do the 4 hour round trip to the Brain Charity so found this new craft group. But have booked 2 hols Llandudno in May and Harrogate in September. July going to see my brother and sister in law. All for 5 days .

Will have to read and catch up with everyone.
Thrilled the thread is still going . Shows how much it is needed and rightly so.
🌹🌹🌹

ScaredyCat How nice that you saw your GD in her new place. Is she happy there? Is it vry far from you?

Doodle One afternoon tea is at Colwick Hall in Nottingham, the other is a Buy a Gift one, with lots of different places around the UK.

Whiff Sorry you haven't been so good. Hope you're on the mend. You've got some nice holidays to look forward to. We love Harrogate, been a few times. It'll be nice for you to see your brother and his wife.

It's been a long day (didn't go out). Little Girl will be here tomorrow and then DH and I have been invited to dinner at Son1's - curry again . We love that. Hope ALL BDers have a peaceful night x

Lovely to hear from you Whiff.

I'm finding it hard to keep going right now. I'm so scared DH is getting worse regarding breathing ,wheezing and now coughing.
Have only got last page of BD on my mobile GN at present.
I'm so very scared that DHs cough is related to Heart Failure. Realise this has different stages. Looking up Heart specialists in our area that are private. Ridiculous that echocardio scans might take many months on NHS so researching private cardiologists.

Sorry Whiff. Just seen your recent post. I see you are still making the most of your life- just as your DH wanted. You are inspirational yo so many on GN. Good for you and your DH.

It’s good to hear you’ve kept that relationship up with your ex DiL and are a special nanny HVDY. A quiet day for you today - busy again tomorrow.

Thank you for the tip offs, Doodle. Your church is wonderful, just how it should be. Some good organisers there, clearly a real community.
Thinking of your great sorrow and sending you love - I recall it all from last year xx

Scardeycat the brunch sounded so warm and loving - your big family - all a credit to how you are in yourself..
Yes, it was the carer I’m familiar with.

You do really well keeping busy despite all, Whiff Its good you’ve booked the breaks, too.

Oh Sweetpeasue its so difficult with DH’s different symptoms. It’s troubling you so much your health is suffering too. If you can mange the cost and it will help your peace of mind to find out more do go for it.
How about some emotional support as well from the psychologist you’v seen before?

A very bad low day mood wise indeed. Sigh. endless hours but cant motivate...Usual clothes wash and shower.

Thinking of BD’s who aren’t here today, and maybe others who read…

Doodle Sending a warm hug and lots of love. The 'anniversaries ' of painful reminders of your DH and how terrible it was and still is must be extremely hard. I'm just so sorry, you are in my prayers.
Wyllow I do hope you have a better day today - so sorry for your really bad day and very low time yesterday. You have been making so much effort with your walks out- all is not lost, you'll come through, take heart- yet I understand it must be so difficult. Life is so hard ,though as Scaredycat often says , so precious too. 🫂 xx
HVDY Hope you enjoy your day with Littlegirl today. One special nana indeed.

Whiff I’m so glad you have another craft group. I know how much you enjoy it, Sorry you were so poorly in January. I hope you’re on the mend now and feeling much better,
HVDY Colwick Hall sounds very grand. Have you been there before?
Hope you have a lovely day with little girl tomorrow. Curry sounds good too.
Sweetpeasue I can well understand your concerns about your Dh. If you feel you want to go down the private route why not ask your GP who they suggest you try. GPS often know the local consultants and who cover what speciality. I think it would be a good idea to speak to your surgery and tell them quite clearly and forcefully that you have great concerns for your husbands wellbeing and you don’t think he should wait that long for the echocardiogram. However, if you do see a private cardiologist and they do arrange an echocardiogram beware it may well cost a lot. Try checking with them first about the cost. Another way of finding a specialist is to find out the names of the local private hospitals or clinics and look up their consultants. Be clear in your mind that your concerns are genuine. You are not making a fuss or being stubborn you have genuine concerns about your husbands health and want them to be taken seriously. (sorry I don’t mean to always sound as though I’m telling you what to do. It’s just suggestions)
Wyllow sorry it’s not been such a good day today but remember the better days and build on them. Hope you will feel better tomorrow. You’re right I am finding this month difficult and May will be even harder. I went and had my covid jab today. Last time I had one I cried waiting for it, during it and in the car and all the way home. Because Dh had booked the appointment for us both and he wasn’t with me to get his.
Today I held off the tears till I got home so that’s a bit of an improvement.
Scaredycat I hope you’ve had a good day. I’ve been busy all day. Coffee at the Christian Fellowship with some people I know from my church. Then home and out for a walk and coffee with a friend and her puppy, then to the shop to pick up and order and from there to get my jab at the chemist, I’m worn out now.

Hi all
Whiff- you,ve had a tough time but faced it head on with your usual positive courage. Glad you,ve found some new classes= new friends too
So good to hear of your holiday plans - something to look forward to.
HVDY- thank you GD3 and her boyfriend are very happy in their new place. It’s about a half hour away so not too far.
Lucky you to have 2 teas in the pipeline. It’s such a nice thing to do . Busy day for you today with Little Girl but a lovely evening to enjoy with no cooking .
SweetPeaSue- great advice from Doodle. The situation with your DH is doing you a lot of harm both physically and mentally. If it’s at all possible for you to do so a private echo and cardiologist appt would be the way to go.
You really need some peace of mind as yours is going into ove

Overdrive. I went privately to see someone about my AF and it helped me very much to deal with what was happening.
Wyllow- I,m sorry yesterday was a difficult one for you but you have made great strides this last week so take heart from that.
You must have missed the break that getting out gives you in those’endless hours’.
Hope you have had a better day today and managed your big shop and picked up some nice goodies.
Doodle- I,m sorry these days are hurting you so much and wish I could do something to take the hurt away. Extra hard to deal with the Covid jabs but you got through it bravely,as,usual.
Nice to see your friend and her little puppy- is he learning to walk well on the lead?
Hope you sleep well and your arm is not too sore.

Love to all and peaceful sleeps.

SweetpeaSue I know your husband hasn't got Asthma, but does an inhaler help at all? Perhaps he needs a steroid inhaler like the one I've finally got. Just a thought. Is your DH out of breath when lying flat? The cough and wheezing I had for 4 months has now gone altogether, and I haven't used my inhaler for about a week. I think he really ought to see the GP. Seeing a Cardiologist might be an idea but is likely to be very expensive, though.

Wyllow3 You had a bad day yesterday but you can have good days. I hope today was one of them.

Doodle Been to Colwick Hall before but not for afternoon tea. DH's nephew got married there. You had a busy day today. What breed is your friend's puppy?

ScaredyCat Nice that your GD3 is fairly close by. Yes, it was lovely to not cook (not that I do very often).

It was a full day - LG here 7.30 - 4.30. After breakfast, we went to a huge indoor play centre for 2 hours. After lunch, a country park, and she fell asleep on the way home. DH & I had dinner at Son1's, so we saw both of his girls and SGS. Curry 3 nights in a row now! Hope ALL BDers have a restful sleep x

So many thanks for BDs who all care .
I'm feeling pretty awful right now ,so sorry can't address all.
Completely unable to get appt this morning. Anything over 15 appts ,you're out of the queue and just get a message saying full up and to try again.
'Our' GP in tomorrow so are hoping to get appt tomorrow from 8am.

I do appreciate your help Doodle .
Scaredycat Been looking at private appts for Cardiologist in York. (Aswell as others).
HVDY DH isn't breathless when lying flat. I don't care about the cost of private treatment if it's appropriate. Just want to know what's going on with him, thankyou. He is feeling dreadfully tired and I'm still convinced that it's heart failure.
Wyllow Think you mentioned Psychologist? I've not had any MH support for a good 3 mths now. Im trying to go it alone. I don't want anyone to think I'm not stable, as I certainly am now. Though it's still so hard. I can't ever forget what NHS Dr's are capable of.
Hope you are OK and feeling a little better today. Xx

- [ ] Aw Doodle a poignant description of the triggers with something like the Covid Jab. It is good you re keeping busy even tho you get so tired.

Yes *Scardeycat it was supermarket day so a bit better.. 7 ready meals so no need to cook.

That was a full day there HVDY. I smiled at your “3 night currys”

Am crossing fingers and toes that you get your GP appointment tomorrow, Sweetpeasue I agree with what Doodle says about your DH and appointments.

Today was a bit better mood wise, . Tum troublesome, pain difficulty eating, it’s far more than constipation as it swells up at the slightest eating or drinking and often pain - when I get it together I really will have to tackle it doctor wise.

Very tired tonight so will send best wishes to all BD’s, those writing past and present , and readers xxx

Morning all
Thank you Scaredycat for starting this new thread. Have read from the start of this so caught up a little on what’s been going on. As usual, I haven’t been in for a while. I do feel guilty about this and abandoning you all and have even thought of leaving as I’m so inconsistent and may appear to be uncaring. But I do enjoy the group and really do care and think about you all. As you know, I do lead a busy life and this, coupled with my tiredness, gives me less time to come in. I go to the gym regularly, something I’m keen to do, both for physical and mental health and I’m hoping this will help me stay active as I get older (I’m 64 now). This in turn, makes me more tired (I think the tiredness is mainly caused by the meds). Anyway, here I am!

Wyllow I hope your tummy troubles ease. If you need to see a GP, is this something that your care worker could attend with you? Might make it a bit easier for you. Hope you’ve had a good rest and today is kind to you.
Sweetpeasue I’m sorry your worries over your DH continue. You are right to look into seeing a private cardiologist I think. Sadly, it seems that’s what people have to do these days. We have a Nuffield hospital close to us and they seem to cover a wide range of conditions. Have you been in touch with British Heart Foundation at all? They may have a specialist nurse who could advise? Good luck.
HVDY busy day for you yesterday. Hope you’ve can have a relaxing day today. Although it’s harder work with the little ones when they’re young, I think in some ways it’s a bit easier as they enjoy play centres, visits to the park etc. My GS is 9 and no longer really interested in play centres so it’s hard to find something to do with him (he’s only really interested in football). Hope you’ve enjoyed your curry.
Doodle those triggers are hard for you I’m sure but you’re overcoming them with your usual determination and keep busy attitude. I hope you are doing something nice today.
Whiff sorry you have been poorly but glad you have some nice breaks to look forward to. I know Llandudno quite well and I think you’ll like it. Nice wide promenade with lovely views. Hope you enjoy Harrogate too. I’ve never been but would like to.
Scaredycat nice to hear from you. Your big family must keep you busy. Have you been to your caravan yet?

I’ve got a bit more childcare this week with it being half term but am going to get away to my caravan this weekend. Pity the lovely weather we’ve had recently has gone. Hope everyone has the best day possible.

Scaredycat how nice your DGD won’t be moving far away. Hope they’re happy in their new home.
Yes my friends little puppy is learning to walk on a lead but very reluctantly. He plants his feet firmly on the floor and won’t move. 🤣
Sweetpeasue I don’t know if this will help but I used to have my phone and DH’s and at 7.58 I got ready to ring. I used them in turn until one of them connected and I could get an appointment. Wish you luck for tomorrow.
I know you said your Dh isn’t breathless when laying down but if he is then get him to sit more upright. Your lungs are at the back and if you lie down you’re making breathing more difficult. That’s why in covid they put people on their stomachs.
Wyllow I do hope you get to see the doctor soon. Your tum shouldn’t swell up like that. It does sound a bit like IBS.
Hope you sleep well.
Candy you don’t have to leave because you don’t post often. That’s fine. It’s nice to hear from you when you pop in.
It’s good you go to the gym regularly. I wish I’d done a bit more when I was younger. Have a lovely time at your caravan and hope the weather is ok.
I’m going to church tonight for Quiet hour. I’m looking forward to being there and just sitting and thinking. Take care all.

SweetpeaSue Of course, you want a diagnosis for your husband. My mum had heart failure for about 25 years (she died of a stroke), and lying flat made her very breathless. She had 2 different types of inhalers, as well as diuretics. Her lips were always purple/blue, as were her hands. I hope you managed to get through to a GP today.

Wyllow3 Are your medications causing your stomach troubles? Natural remedies like eating licquorice and or All-Bran and prunes should help.

Candy6 Yes, it is easy to occupy little ones. Our LG loves books, building blocks, shape shape-sorter toys. Does your GS like board games, Lego, or any type of crafts? Hope you have a good time away in your caravan. A break is still nice, whatever the weather.

Doodle Hope your day is going well and that church is good later.

It's DH's birthday today, so he and I went out for lunch to a favourite restaurant - Indian, of course. Curry 4 days running . He's seeing both sons this evening for a couple of drinks. Hope everyone is ok x

Candy Lovely to hear from you but don't worry about not coming in more -just whenever you want to is fine. Thankyou for the tip about BHF. I got in touch with a cardiac nurse and she was very helpful, asking if the blood test DH had was a specific heart one- it was- yet it was normal. I hope you have a lovely time at your caravan.
HVDY Littlegirl has so much fun with you when she comes- nice she had a sleep after all that yesterday. Thanks for those extra indicators of HF. You must miss your mum so much - I know I do.
Happy Birthday wishes for your DH . I hope he has a good night out with sons.
Scaredycat So glad your private appt worked out. Sometimes it's very difficult to wait so long and I can imagine how worried you must have been being told you had AF. I am putting private on hold until DH has results from another blood test but GP said he could refer him if we wish.
Wyllow I am sorry about your tummy still being a problem. It sounds as if you need a talk to your GP or Doc sis. I hope you slept well last night and thankyou for your concern. I was told to call MH place if I needed them but really I'm trying to take more responsibility for myself now . It can be daunting and I feel wobbly at times but I'm coping well I think.
Doodle I do appreciate your experience with medical practices-youve been receptionist in surgery and had so many experiences looking after your DH. I'll remember about bed positioning if DH gets breathless sleeping- so far so good at night.We often phone surgery together though they're now only allowing 15 calls before it will tell you to call back another time and won't allow you a place in the queue. Hope you have a nice quiet hour at church and it helps tonight.

Had appt this aft. after talking with BHF nurse . GP is letting DH have another blood test for heart , though he thinks it will still be normal . It's for my own peace of mind really. He's sending him for another xray on chest too. I am holding back on the private Cardiologist till I get those results. I'm confused about it all. We told GP aboutDH having chest pain at the weekend and this recent coughing. His Spirometry test is end of May which GP thinks could help diagnose breathlessness and wheezing. The test is still so long away though.
I just don't understand what's going on with DH. It's so exhausting -the worry. Am trying to keep pushing for answers.

Wishing all a peaceful night in mind and body. Love to all. X

SweetpeaSue Yes, I miss my mum (she's been gone 30 years this summer). Spirometry tests are usually done to diagnose Asthma, COPD and other conditions. I've got mine at the end of May (been on the list since February). The chest x-ray may not show anything much, but a CT could (I've got one next week). Could your husband's chest pain be muscular? He's been doing a lot in the house (carpet fitting? Painting). Try not to worry so much; it won't do you any good and will greatly affect your MH. I hope you have a better night's sleep.

sorry, meant to say other lung conditions, not heart.

Hi all
HVDY- your area is really well provided with indoor play place- they sound fun.
Dont think they existed when we used to do our child care times.
Wow what a week of curries!! Hope DH has enjoyed his day and has a good evening with your boys.
SweetPeaSue- do hope you got an appointment today for,DH.
You have done so well to cope,without any MH help. You have such deep scars from your traumatic times .
Wyllow- do you get fruit and veg as well with your shopping? So glad you,ve widened your food choices though .
So pleased your mood did lighten - each day is such a challenge for you but there are times when the old you sounds closer.
Hope you managed a better night and today was a kind one.
Candy- please come in when you can and there are no rights or wrongs it’s always nice to hear from you. Please stay.
You are wise to keep up your exercise times while you can. It will stand you in good stead as you get older. I know the fact that I did a lot of sporty things and walking when I was younger enables me to still walk most days albeit a lot slower!!
We don’t have a caravan although my DH would like one. Hope the weather is recovered for you by the weekend.
Doodle- we,ve done your telephone appointment ploy- but now the new on line triage system seems to work quite well.
Had my routine blood test today - met my friend in the waiting room so was a nice surprise.
Quiet hour sounds very peaceful and a time to unwind and contemplate. I,m sure you were not alone .
Have you had any more thoughts of a break with your friend- it would be nice to have that to look forward to. I hope you have some gentle times at this difficult period.

Thinking of all BDs who are not able to post so often at the moment. Love to all

HVDY DH has not had any cough when the breathlessness started and GP referred him for Spirometry test. He's only started with a cough 10 dys ago. That's why I didn't think the Spirometry test was appropriate. He's never had any chest complaints -infections, Asthma at all. DH has had chest tightness since last November and breathlessness. The chest pain he had a few dys ago was on exertion . It stopped after about 20 mins so don't think it was muscular.
DH is quite upset tonight about feedback on NHS app about today's appt. I will be very interested in blood test results from new blood test to help with diagnosis of heart problems. Our surgery could only offer the patient in front of us a blood test for 3 weeks. We asked if we could have it earlier at 2 surgeries about 4mls from us. DH was offered one tonight at 8-30 so he's had it done.
Even if results are normal , I still don't understand DHs breathlessness and other HF symptoms.
At least I've got name of Cardiologist who we can go privately to if necessary.

Hello Candy , how nice to see you in. Please don’t feel guilty, definitely no need. It’s really good you are keeping up the gym. I hope the sun comes back for your weekend and you enjoy the childcare.

Quiet hour sounds rather special Doodle. At evensong time.

I had to smile, *HVDY. Another curry. I hope he’s enjoyed this evening with his sons.

Sweetpeasue has what the cardiac nurse said has given some reassurance? Keep the idea of a referral on hold? I hadn’t thought of a chest X ray, it’s good he is going for that. It must feel a long time until the Spirometry test. Yes, you so ned to know whats going on for DH. I hope the results of tonights test give some information for you and glad you have a name.

Nice to bump into a friend in the waiting room, Scardeycat. The “Accidental” meetings or chats with people do make a difference.

Tum stuff - yes, it is caused by heavy MH meds over a long period. As it most unwelcome weight gain that however little I eat continues.

I need to take less meds but thats scary too. Whats new is the pain I get on eating more than a tiny bit. My diet is quite good.

What I need to do initially is actually ring my sister up as she is a retired gastroenterologist but I’m afraid, I admit, about the mix of digestion and bowel stuff as it can e acute.

Saw CPN today it helped a bit but I just don’t get enough MH support - 50 mins a fortnight and knowing there is so little chance seeing a psychiatrist and so on. (Re drugs) Perhaps I should push more but when it's difficult to just get dressed and so on I put things off.

Night night all...see you tomorrow..xx

ScaredyCat There were 2 play centres when my sons were children. We took them a few times as a treat. DH enjoyed his evening, thanks, and got beers, playing cards, books and 2 t-shirts with motorbikes on. Are you up to much today?

SweetpeaSue It's good that your husband got the blood test done. I hope the results help to identify the problem. If you do decide to go privately to a cardiologist, at least you've got the name of someone now.

Wyllow3 My husband would have curry every day if he could! If your meds could be reduced a little, you might have fewer tum problems. After being on them for so long, I imagine it must be daunting to think about cutting down on them. I hope you have a better day today.

DH has gone to see his od school friends for a Wetherspoon breakfast, so I'm going to do boring chores at home. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a better day x

Hi all
I,think you have so little faith in Drs since you had your terrible experience that you have a hard time believing any of them. HVDYs idea of possible muscular problems after DH doing a lot of physical work lately is a possibility. As she said try not to worry so mich - your mind is getting no rest.
I went privately after 8 years of having AF and it had become persistant 24/7. I just needed to talk to someone who had time to listen and explain options etc.
I hope the blood test results will provide you with some reassurance.
HVDY- it doesn’t matter how old we get we will always miss our Mums won’t we. My Mum taking her own life is a wound that doesn’t heal.
Your DH got good pressies. Does he still hanker after a motorbike?
We,ve been out this morning. There is a beautiful castle and grounds very close to us so we went and had a walk and a cuppa. The tickets are valid for a year so we often go there.
Wyllow- yes chance encounters are such a pleasure and make days brighter.
It seems like it would be a sensible thing to talk to your Sister- she might be able to really help you. I understand your fear and reluctance but it’s holding you back and does help you to enjoy your food as you should.
50mins isn’t long when you have so much you want to talk about and open up your,feelings. Does the CPN have any responsibility for your meds or does that require a psychiatrist input?
How’s the garden doing- has the garden man been back?
Doodle- Ah that little puppy must look so cute digging his heels in. What sort of dog is he?
Did you go to church this morning? Do they have Lent lunch again today?
It’s lovely and sunny today and hope the sun is shining on you too.

Thinking of all BDs and hoping those who we haven’t heard from lately know they are cared for.

HVDY I'm sure you're DH enjoyed his cooked breakfast with friends. My DH loves one too. Regarding DHs lungs ,one scan done last year showed 2 nodules in lungs that were dismissed by radiologist and were said to probably go when inflammation fell and was just an 'incidental finding'. Hope you managed to cross off your boring chores this afternoon. I admit to finding most housework boring .
Scaredycat Must be great to have a castle close by and be able to stroll the lovely grounds. I really am so sorry for that wound that doesn't heal. Hugs Scardycat.
DH 's chest pain other day isn't pulled muscle as it came on quickly, lasted 20mins and went though he's a 'tightness' in chest all the time.
Wyllow I don't like the sound of the pain you get after eating only a little. Definitely needing attention. Hope your tum isn't so bad today. Ringing your sis is the way forward initially I think. I do understand that's quite scary for you though, but she could have some practical advice for you and I'm sure she'd want to know and support you.
You must feel very alone and I wish so much you could have more support.
Yes, thanks ,I did find cardiac nurse reassuring and I know I can ring if I need further advice.
Doodle Hope your day has gone well today. The puppy sounds adorable - it's so comforting to have pet cuddles. Your description of the puppy walking was so funny and cute.

Had call out of the blue from trainee psychologist today .Felt so good to offload onto her my worries. Especially about being taken seriously.She was so reassuring and understood my concerns about my anxieties about DHs health being mistaken for some sort of 'health anxiety' . It helped my confidence a great deal.

Hoping everyone's day has been OK and love to all and those not personally mentioned.

ScaedyCat Losing your mum so tragically like that must be terrible. My husband has got a motorbike (650cc) in his massive shed. He built it all up, a few years ago, replaced most of the parts - and has still not got it on the road. He's got a scooter that he uses. The castle sounds interesting. I bet it was chilly there. It's been really windy and cool here, but sunny.

SweetpeaSue My DH loves bacon, sausages, etc. I don't eat that stuff and don't like the smell of it. I'm glad you were able to talk openly to the Psychologist who rang you. When will your DH know the results of the blood test? I did washing, ironing and some cleaning (I dislike all of it).

How has everyone else been? x