BLACK DOG 25

Warm here too HVDY. Enjoy LittleGirl.

Its not quite all sorted, *HVDY, am hoping that a reply to an email just sent to the helpful bloke can avoid any more time and energy.

Because I am flaked out - yesterday - I just worked out - I was on the go for 16.5 hours as "couldn't stop mode".

But my pride in rising to the techie occasion counts a lot for me. Tum of course, after days of tension, is on blocked up mode so (TIM coming up) its stay at home laxatives day pottering maybe get out in garden? The garden, btw, is beginning to feel a bit more mine not "ours" as regards the ghost of Ex.

Back later to catch up on you all.

SweetpeaSue What a faff to get your husband's inhaler. He must get fed-up with taking so many tablets each day. I was talking to someone at the day centre (she's 67) who takes 18 pills daily, so I certainly can't complain about taking 4. I didn't know Tom Hanks had ever written a book. I like him as an actor.

Doodle We all think of you and wish you well. You've had such a lot to deal with. Hope you're still able to see friends.

Wyllow3 You did well to cope with the O2 problem. Glad it's all ok now. You wouldn't have been able to cope with that a couple of weeks ago. I love that R.E.M. song. It always makes me cry.

It's warm already. Been up since 7. Little Girl will be here at 10, for the day. DIL is treating Son2 to a spa day at a posh hotel, for Father's Day (it's really more of a treat for her ). Hope ALL BDers have a good day x

You are certainly “going for it, Scardeycat - a pleasure to read. Yes take it easy now! Thank you for explaining the stair problem. I’m impressed by having a go at French, part of the experience really having a go.

Yes - eyebrows, HVDY `I think when younger I over plucked them little knowing they would thin later…

I’m glad that you day has been a bit better Sweetpeasue. Oh it’s so difficult these days getting the right prescription, getting doc and chemist linked….
Well when the hair dresser comes to my house I have a small mirror I can just see the general hair shape so it’s OK.

I every much doubt you look how you think you do. We always see the worst in ourselves I think.

Aw, Doodle, how you must long to get your hands back properly. You have been through th mill so much these last 15 months or so x

Now come to think of it Ellie Anne its glasses off for me too - as you have to take them off for the cut (and not put them on till necessary - we’ve got a good plan going on…it was so good to see you in!

Today took an unexpected turn. When I posted earlier I had forgotten that I had to ring 02 to register the mobile. So I rung them but since the SIM card was already in the phone: I couldn't get it out for the code on it.

Nearly had a meltdown with the lady on at 02 as my hearing is on the blink again in one ear. But she was panicking and said she would register me as “special access” phone customer. Fine by me.

Then it was me who had the bright idea of reading the blurb on the letter that came with the card, and it said the number was also in the letter. So I got the letter out of the recycle bin. Phone lady didnt know that was an option.

Oh well, 2 more hours later I was all sorted after another steep learning curve.

I’m now so pleased to be sorted after so long thinking my computer would die on me... ….but I haven’t stopped all day..but nothing to do tomorrow. In my hands not to mess up.

Tonights ear worm - a real classic -everybody hurts, REM.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXT7X_bf9lU

night night to all BD's, present, or reading

xx

Wyllow I have a similar approach to mirrors. I only look at the bit I need to see.
Hairdresser tomorrow but I take my glasses off so can’t see too well.

Good news Wyllow.
I’ve read but not allowed to text or type much as makes hands hurt so much. Couldn’t sleep for the aching last night.
Thinking of you all much love x

Thanks Wyllow - the photographs throughout the meditative music were beautiful.

HVDY I'm the same with anyone else in the home like tradesmen .I put off having some window glass panes till they were really bad. Never know what to say. As for cleaning - afraid I'm like Scaredycat. That Mosely diet with full fat and protein is very like the Atkins diet by the sound of it. I did that in my 20s and lost quite a bit. Its awkward as I'm trying yo buy low fat for DHs arteries.
ScaredycatYou'll be as fit as a flea after your active holiday! We need to do more walking . We have stairs too though they've done nothing for my legs!
Wyllow I see what you mean about treating the face as a map and detaching feelings.
My today has been a little better painwise thanks. DH had to ring surgery pharmacist as mix up , they'd given him wrong inhaler and not the steroid one recommended by Respiratory Dr. He's rather fed up as he takes 11 tablets a day and now he's got inhaler and another spray for tongue when chest is too tight.
I've been trying to finish a baby cardigan and it's driving me mad.
We went to a charity shop this morning and I picked up a book by Tom Hanks as it had good reviews when it came out.
Think I'd feel better with a hair cut but involves mirrors.
Doodle Hope your art class was OK. Doesn't matter about what you can't do because of hand , at least you will enjoy the company.

Hoping everyone is ok and thinking of those not in too.

Wyllow3 Getting a window cleaner here is difficult - we live on the top of a hill (it's a hill from both ends) and the house is uphill again, from the pavement - our house is approx. 10ft higher than the one next door. This bloke had a long pole thing. The previous bloke was about 6 years ago! I hate having to keep drawing on my eyebrows!

ScaredyCat You ought to consider changing your name - to BraveCat or something. You get on with life so much, despite your AF. Glad you're enjoying your holiday.

Just cooked Jaffa some fresh salmon. He scoffed it really quickly . He's such a nice boy. Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening x

Hi all.
Doodle- so glad yesterday was a better one for you. Being able to do the things you enjoy is so important for your welfare.
Hope Art went well with your nice Art friends even if you couldn’t do much work.Afternoon tea is always good.
Had a walk this afternoon - bit too far really but I lose all my common sense once I get near a beach. So it’s feet up time gain!
HVDY- Thank you. Since my dear Son died when he was only 14 I feel like I must live for him. Life is so full of wonders which he has not been able to enjoy so I squeeze the drops as much as possible. Not always easy as my name isnt Scaredy for nothing!!
My GD2 did really well with Slimming World but that lady you met is something else- she must cheat like mad!! Glad you don’t have diabetes though .
Wow that’s a lot of Window money- mind you we don’t have a window cleaner so don’t know the going rate. We do it when the sun shines and shames us😀
SweetPeaSue- Thank you- I push my luck a lot but as the AF is 24/7 I can’t just sit there so use it or lose it. When it was paroxysmal I was always scared of when it would hit next!!
Glad you didn’t hve to skip the Book Club- bet you were too.
I,m fairly slim but I look a bit like a prune now so don’t look in mirrors much either😩
Enjoy your new dress- we all have lumps and bumps - goes with being a woman.
Wyllow - your carer must be delighted with the change in you. Don’t think about losing her you have the knowledge and tools to help keep you stable.
We have stairs too- don’t want “ Bungalow legs” !! Stairs do make me feel wobbly and a bit breathy and increase my HR .
It’s all over the place as the AF is constant so decreases the blood flow around the body and it makes me feel tired much quicker.
French going OK - always feel a bit of a twit at first but then get a bit more confident.
Yay!! You’re up and running with your new things. We are Apple fans too. Nice to have a pleasant person to sort it all for you. Enjoy discovering all they can do.

Wishing all BDs a peaceful evening and missing those we haven’t seen for a while.

I had a posh latte ready for computer man, as had asked in advance.

something really struck me - When I was very depressed my mind was kept active by talking and arguing and looking up politics yup here on GN. Guessing it kept my cognitive abilities at a high level for my age - so when it came to taking technology on board, my mind was nimble.

Oh HVDY - my windows haven't been cleaned for 2 years, so another few weeks won't matter!

*Sweetpeasue my attitude to mirrors very close up (as per eyebrows etc) I pretend my face is a sort of map that needs working on and detach the feelings. Medium distance another matter....I used to just avoid them now - well try to get real (must get haircut etc)...(remember to brush hair at all..)

How is your "today?

Wyllow3 Having a facial sounds very nice. Do you use moisturiser? I love Cerave.

SweetpeaSue don't worry about any lumps and bumps, everyone has got them. I like to be comfortable. I bought a couple of dresses from Asda. I buy everything on line and collect it from the shop. I've got some lovely dresses from Vinted, too

Wyllow3 Glad you've got your new computer all up and running. Good that the bloke was so easy to get on with. I never know what to do when a tradesman of any sort is here (talk, offer a drink, hang about or what). It's been muggy here but just started raining ( the window cleaner came this morning so that was an unnecessary £40).

sweetpeasue Michael Mosley had a couple of different diets but the Fast 800 is more or less cutting out all carbohydrates, but having protein at every meal and full fat things, but no more that 800 calories a day. I lost about 3st in 3 months on it, 5 years ago (sadly put it all back on a couple of years ago).

Wyllow Not surprised your carer noticed such a difference. It's so good you get on so well- sure it's partly down to her and your walks n talks that has helped your transformation.
Yore right about Costa sandwich- we often have seeded bread toast which is nice n crunchy- love their Americanas.
You are really tech savvy now. Think son 1 has the fingerprint ID thing. Enjoy your new safe computer.
Great you've booked a facial ,should help the new Wyllow and confidence . Oh dear- I'm very aware of my ageing face and try to avoid mirrors at all costs ( which is really not facing reality!)
HVDY Hope the day centre was good and meal. Bought another dress today from Peacocks but alas so thin it shows lumps n bumps. Feel so self conscious - wearing tent right now but need a change. Is the Michael Mosley diet the one where you have very low calorie for 2 or 3 dys then eat carefully rest of week. I might be best doing that but it's so hard to make a start.
Wyllow Wearher like that here so overcast and v windy.

Oh and vaping and ageing skin. My vanity has returned.

I guessed it might be a bit that way as a child, HVDY Pluses and minuses - but its has given you an enduring sense of keeping a family going in the best ways possible.

Hope the day centre does well.

Well.............everything computer was sorted in 1.5 hours, new lap top and recon mobile . Bloke came on time...

I had a very very steep learning curve - face recognition on the phone, fingerprint touch to get in computer, all makes security sense, but I'm writing on my new Ab Fab computer. (I'm an apple fan, it costs but never had to worry, ever, about security in 30 years.

He was an interesting and easy going bloke, felt quite comfy, I’m pottering doing bits of this and that to wind down. I've also booked a facial for next week as a treat and encouragement to finally stop vaping (it has some very bad effects they don't tell you about, like loosening lips in the heat of the vape machine, teeth stain to some extent as well as the health stuff.

Its turned from sun to wind and overcast, and expecting thunder in the evening!

Best days, all BD's, check in later.

Wyllow3 My mum wasn't much of a cook but did her best, bless her. She didn't let any of us do anything around the house (it was a huge shock to me when I left home and had to to everything and work full-time). Hope all your technical devices all get sorted out today. I think it's our monitor that needs replacing but Son1 will look on Sunday and know what's what.

SweetpeaSue My heart isn't in the Slimming World thing at all. I did better on the Michael Moseley Fast 800 one but I'll give this a go for now. Hope today is better for you and your husband.

Day centre today. DH is going to look at a leak on Son2's washing machine. Hope everyone has a decent day x

Well its the big day tomorrow, new computer, new mobile, and someone coming round at 11 to install and get everything talking-to each other (Apple products.

Table all cleared, posh coffee ready etc.

A god day, busy, as my carer came. She was in shock at the change within the week, but could understand the up and down bits and the need to slow down. Trouble is, we natter along so well its hard to calm down and ground myself with hr, but I wouldnt want to change the fun…then of course I think I cant lose her - hmm glad to have benefits of years of therapy and self knowledge.

It is all about putting the brakes on, Sweetpeasue - yoga is the way out, when I remember…
Aw, that was a bad start to the day. But you are right - gentle moving around is better all round, staying is bed is sometimes right but sometimes a bit of a downer.
Alas, I cant see the moon yet, I think it’s low behind a row of poplar trees. Last night it was lovely, orange - wow.

It’s funny you should mention steps, Scardeycat. Atm I’m glad to live in a house with stairs, for the exercise. Forgetting things means going up and down them all the time. Whats happens as regards AF and stairs? Does it increase the heart rate? Cinnamon buns noted in costa, as the sandwiches not up to much tbh. Yes, you are very perceptive, me and carer discussed garden centres visit today.
And how is your French holding up? C’est bien?

Doodle thank you for the news you are managing the hospice and the church art will be a struggle but it’s the company. Hugs for your sadness as ever.

HVDY - I’m glad you have gone to Slimming world - I know you want to lose weight, and how hard it is for you..the very best with it. Was your mum a super cook so you didn’t pick it up? My mum wanted to garden when she wasn’t teaching full time, so I took over Sunday lunch, thanks to school cooking lessons of the basics. (And Dad grumbling cos of a few lumps in the custard..ungrateful……)

Tonights ear worms

Meditative, grounding…I sometimes have this on to try and make me stop thinking, had it for years

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Za0V0ZWKBo

Up beat heart lifting and wonderfully inclusive from South Africa, post apartheid.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXcttZVhf0s

Scaredycat Considering you have the AF to deal with you are so inspiring to keep pushing boundaries and keep up the walking . Plus getting away to France when you were so anxious about it. Couldn't go to book group anyway as the leader wasn't well and cancelled.
Doodle So pleased to hear you managed church and hospice this morning. Hope you enjoy your art class tomorrow despite the hand disability.
HVDY Oh dear - the lady going to Slimming World for so long.Incidentally a lady going to our book group went there and had a lot of success losing weight. Oh your friend must have been roasting in the jumper . I know where you are the temperatures are much milder than here.

Just to be clear, I'm not diabetic though x

SweetpeaSue My husband had to teach me to cook when we first got together. I couldn't boil an egg! Sorry you had pain today, but you got up and got moving. I wore a loose, tent dress today. Much cooler than my friend, who wore tight jeans and a jumper!

ScaredyCat You always make the most of life. I admire you for that. I don't like being away from home but we're not going away this year.

Doodle You had a nice day, by the sound of it. Hope the exercises are helping a bit. I haven't had any physio as only had this bad back since last Thursday. I'll try to move more and take the painkillers.

Went with my friend to Slimming World this evening - she was recently diagnosed with Diabetes, and like me, needs to lose a lot of weight. One woman there said she's been going for 672 weeks!! More than 12 years - she's not slim so I cant think the diet is terribly good x

Evening all. Been to church today the. Went to hospice. Nice day. Art and afternoon tea tomorrow.
Doing my exercises but hands still ache a lot.
Glad you’re having a good time Scaredycat
Wyllow so lovely to hear you more positive.
candy so sorry about your dog, it’s so painful. I know we’ve had three and each one was a great loss.
sweetpeasue your tent dress sounds nice and cool. Not that warm here.
HVDY hope the meds help the back. Have you had any physio?

Hi lovely friends.
SweetPeaSue- the appt will come but The waiting is awful for you I know.Probably better to stick with your present GP and see how it goes.
T.hank you it’s lovely here, I walked up a load of steps this morning- not a good move with AF but did it anyway.
I hope you went to your Book Club- you enjoyed it last time.
It’s better for your DH to see you living your life and not feel he is a problem. You are so thoughtful though.
SweetPeas smell wonderful and the colours beautiful.
HVDY- everything you say about your DH resonates with me - they sound so alike. They just need a prod now and again to get on with stuff.
Hope the meds help with your pain - we have that Triage system too it’s so much better that hanging on the phone for ages and getting crosser!!
Doodle- having a haircut is such a mood booster isn’t it.
I ,m so sad for you that the pain is so restricting for you. Do hope you are able to get about and do some things- such as. Church today.
Thank you for making the effort to post- so good to hear from you.
Wyllow-Thank you. It’s wonderful to hear the enthusiasm in your words. It is fun to shop and it’s been so long since you enjoyed anything. Go for the Costa when you’re ready- their Cinnamon buns are lovely.
You,ve been so busy and that is great - yes out with the clothes and on with the new. Tums don’t matter!!
When you feel like it a Garden Centre would be nice too. It’s so good you have the nice carer to share things with as well.
Very sensible to slow down sometimes and have a rest- I know how hard it is for you in your recovery. Oh we are all so happy to see our Wyllow on the way backxxx
Candy6- so nice to see you in again. Really sorry to hear about your dog- it must have been so hard for you. They are family too and bring so much love into our lives.
Don’t worry about keeping up- your routine is important to you. Just pop in when you can we are always pleased to see you.
You’re right a break does us all good. It’s just I get nervous of being away from home with the AF . France is a familiar place for us so we feel at home.

Love to all +- those here and our absent friends.

Candy Nice to see you in but so, so sorry about your dear dog. Losing a pet is a huge thing. 18yrs is a good age and a long life which I'm sure you gave him the best. It must have been so hard. I was with my sin and his labrador when his dog was put to sleep . We looked after his dog a lot as he worked away weeks at a time and to say I was fond if him would be an understatement- we wept buckets and I never go to the beach without thinking of him and seeing another chocolate Lab( He was 13). Sending love and a hug.
Wyllow You are doing so much and it's all such a switch- from darkness to brightness. I understand you saying you are having to reign things in but as long as you can put on the brakes when you feel things moving too fast I'm sure you'll be ok- you have such self- awareness. So glad you're making the garden your own- you'll have much pleasure from that.

Thanks for your suggestions about writing things down. It's always good as it's amazing how the heartbeat gets racing when you're finally sat opposite the Dr and you can lose track of the things you need to say.

Didn't realise Sweetpeas were a favourite. Will certainly send a photo once they're in full flourish.
The singer has such a beautiful voice and the Baroque is such a steadying sound so should be ideal for you to listen to. Thanks for 'Nadateturbe's' song too ( Thanks Nadateturbe Hope you're ok)

Glad you've found a Costa in the shopping centre . I think you would feel fairly anonymous there if you wanted to be. I'm just so pleased and there's such optimism in your voice. Our Wyllow is 'coming home'

Doodle Hope you're managing , it must be so hard. Each week is another week towards you hands healing. Just take care of yourself and hope so much you can get out to some church meetings and with friends. You are very much in all our thoughts as you are our hearts. We know how much you've always cared for us all here. X
Scaredycat Hope you're continuing to have a lovely time there in France. It's been so warm here today so hoping you're getting some sunshine too.
* HVDY* Glad you have some painkillers prescribed and hope they help. I know some suit the co- codamol better than others though they all usually have side effects like gut probs. I take them and can tolerate better than tramodol but need the Movicol/ laxido stuff , though I hate it. Hope your backs not been so bad today.
I think retirement can hit pretty hard after a full time physical job , I know it took a while gor my DH to adjust. What a lovely man to help you so much with the beds and things. He cooks too!

Been very warm here today . Took huge effort not to climb back into bed this morning as the aches n pains and stiffness were horrid but better to get moving though felt so tired. Not a lot done today and some ironing awaiting , but it can wait. Book group was cancelled . Had a coffee out and wore my tent dress- lovely and cool.

Wishing all a peaceful night. Supposed to be ' strawberry moon' tonight if anyone's interested. Love to all and those not in.

Hi Candy back again, what a very very sad time you've been through, so very sorry. As for routines and busy-ness, I think it's what suits us all. You need that now..so go for it, I used to need it but now suddenly I have to try hard to do it at all as get flooded by bright ideas all the time!

anyway, stay as well as you can.

Wyllow3 My husband is lazy (he admits it) and has to be asked/cajoled onto doing things. He worked very hard doing a manual job and long hours but since being off (he finished work a year early when he was coughing and feeling unwell all the time), he's happy to sit around all day, if possible. I hope you managed to go for a coffee with your carer. It's very warm here, but not sunny.

Candy6 Oh how sad. I think most of us can relate to the sorrow felt when a beloved pet dies. You gave him a long and happy life.

Saw a GP this morning, about my back. She's prescribed Co-Codamol, so I'll see how it goes. Hope everyone is ok x