BLACK DOG 25

Wyllow I hope today went well with your MH nurse. * Scaredycat* puts it well , in that perhaps she can come up with something that you can manage better.I hope so as you need that confidence . Thankyou for kind words and I do think of you all.
HVDY You've had a very full day of caring for others.I hope the little girl didn't have to wait long and was looked after with care. What lovely gifts for your SIL. I hope she managed to understand it was 'her' day and the visit went well. You are such a good carer and I hope your brother appreciated you today.
Scaredycat Rained here today too, v overcast but it will do the gardens good .
I cut my DHs hair last time and he said it was fine though his hair isn't thick like your husband's He's dyed my hair for a long time now so he's used to it. I hate having it done but don't want to go all white either . You are right, of course, about the news .
*Doodle Hope your day hasn't been too bad and you've had company. I realise how important it is for you right now to have distraction with friends.

We're exhausted with the drawn out way things are done in the NHS. Dr listened to chest, asked obvs questions about allergies, smoking ( been 40 yrs since he's smoked and ALL on his notes anyway) He said the 2 lung nodules were just incidental findings and weren't looking sinister though he thought a CT scan wouldn't harm as last one was a Yr ago.I told him I was worried about his heart and he admitted that ECG ( which he'd had) doesn't rule everything heart related out. He said he'd see him after the Spirometry test but that's not until July17. He did say if that was OK it would then be looking at Cardio . and DHs description of tightness in chest could be Angina..
Arriving home he had notification of next appt with him--- in November!!

We just can't possibly wait that long - even another 6 weeks for Spiro seems so long , considering waiting tes for Cardio Dr.
We've chosen a private Cardiologist and need GP to refer him -- if GP wont, well have to do self referral.
I don't care if I'm wrong , every instinct I have says heart and it's ridiculous- he says his chest gets really tight. I just know it's not Asthma or COPD.

Can't sleep for worry. If I'm wrong I'm wrong.

Sorry for all that. We're just so tired with it all.

Love to all and those who read. Peaceful night all. X

Hi all
Doodle- you must be itching to get back to getting out and about again. Perhaps tomorrow you could manage Church if someone could take you.
Yes it was a nice day yesterday - full of cake and company. We feel very fortunate to be included in lots of things.
I hope your family are all well .
SweetPeaSue- yes the news is relentless in its awfulness but there is little we can do about it. All we can do is look out for each other and our families as best we can.
I do hope today has helped you both and you have some answers you so very much need.
Your DH is a man of many talents- roots retouching must be quite a skill. I cut my DH hair since Covid. He has thick hair so it’s a bit scary but I like doing it.
Wyllow- I so wish you were able to embrace the help that you so dearly need. I,m glad that it helps you to open up a bit here
Your trust has been so shattered .
I understand the mental effort required to keep things ticking over but you do it and should feel proud of yourself for digging in. If only you could let go of that feeling of being a burden to your family- they love you and need to know how you are doing. I hope the MH nurse was understanding and could perhaps adjust her ideas to ones you can cope with better.

It’s raining here today so a good excuse to have a bit of a rest.
I do hope those who we haven’t seen lately are not having too much to deal with . Life can be overwhelming sometimes can’t it. Thinking of you all.

SweetpeaSue In the news recently, NHS bosses are taking home massive salaries. A smack in the face for hard-working nurses and doctors.

Wyllow3 You still koko, and that's the main thing. You deserve a much better life than the one you've now got. Best wishes.

DH will be looking after Little Girl today, as I'm going to take DIL and her girl to the breast unit (a large, modern place at our nearby hospital), then I'll go to my brother's and accompany him to see his wife. It's her birthday, so I've bought her a lovely summer outfit and some nice bath stuff. It's raining and cold here. Hope everyone has a decent day x

I’m glad that Jaffa is being better at night now HVDY.
Oh my, your day certainly turned out to be unexpected! Yes, poor girl, but at first `I thought it could be really nasty…thank goodness there is treatment. You must be tired tonight.

I wish I would let myself be helped, Scaredycat and others but be assured of one thing, it matters that I can speak and be heard here and that people want to help. It just takes all my oomph to get dressed, washed, wash clothes, get food in and so on and keep up with family WhatsApp’s. And am conflicted about bothering. Tomorrow is MH nurse and I haven’t done anything she wanted me to do not looking forward to it.

How lovely that GGD made cup cakes for you all. Aw. You have a lovely family, but it’s been your input that keeps the love going round. A very cake orientated day there.

I agree about Bank Hoiidays Doodle The usual things stop happening. I’m hoping your arm won’t stop your much valued routines xx

I look forward to the pix, Sweetpeasue.
We’re all there for you tomorrow, BD’s, Pop us in your bag. Many sympathies for todays lowness. I can understand DH’s worries about tomorrow after all that has happened. It’s not silly to think about your roots, keeping ordinary things going is important. Another for tomorrow
I do keep up with the news, it’s a very mixed blessing but I do join in discussions.

Thinking of our absent BD’s

Night night all.

HVDY Re news , it certainly is . Yes, I've reason to believe my DH is right about our poor NHS( and so hard for NHS nurses).
Doodle Thankyou so much for your good wishes. ❤️

Sweetpeasue wishing you and DH the best for tomorrow xx

ScaredyCat I won't wear that dress, it's much too long. I'll take it to a charity shop. Ooh it's impossible to have too much cake. What a nice girl your GGD sounds. I misread "cockapoo" for "cockatoo" .

Doodle Nice that your kind friend made a cake. Shops and cafes etc will all be open tomorrow.

SweetpeaSue the news is very depressing. I limit it to reading it online once a day. Your husband is probably right. Too many people now using the NHS. I hope his tests go well.

Nothing much on tv so I'm listening to music on YouTube through my headphones. Hope everyone has a relaxing evening x

Crossed posts Doodle
Glad about your visitor ( with cake) and you were able to have a chat to someone. It's so difficult for you and just hoping it heals quickly so you can resume your activities.Hugs.

Wyllow Sorry you had another of your grim days yesterday. Do hope you felt better after getting out to supermarket today. Will post photo of baby blankets though just ordinary crotchet ones with wool.
Scaredycat Thankyou for your wishes for tomorrow. Oh yes Richard's Shops and C&A from our youth. There s not a lot on the high street now. Ah more cake ( sounding like Vicar of Dilbey trying to keep everyone happy at Christmas)
HVDY Oh what a shock it was about your DILs girl. Poor girl must have felt quite upset and her mum too. Glad it wasn't sinister but non the less upsetting for the poor lass to go through. Good you were there to look after Littlegirl.
Doodle Hope your day hasn't been too dire. It's awful that your poorly wrist is your working hand as you'll not be able to do your crafts and art work. You could have done with having that as distraction. Hoping you had visitors today, at least.

Really low today and can't get news footage out of mind. Its all completely heartbreaking and feeling so helpless. Aching and IBS . DH low too and we're anxious about tomorrow though DH not expecting anything and in despondent mood. He says patients not being treated so as to get lists down. He's certainly been dismissed unfairly by Vascular.
DH dyed my roots today so at least less scalp visible. Seems ridiculous thing to worry about with everything else! Sorry.

Sending love to all here and those not in. Hoping you're all managing to koko.xx

Evening all. I’m feeling ok arm wise just sad.
Sweetpeasue have you and your Dh been out today? We’ve had a fair bit of rain here. I’ve been in all day. Had a friend round this afternoon. She brought a lively home made cake really nice an had a lovely long chat
Wyllow well done for getting washed and dressed. Is there no where local you can go to be with others for a bit. Age concern or talking tables or a church coffee morning. Once a week would be a good start.
HVDY. Good you were on hand to help out. Poor girl that sounds painful. Hope the antibiotics help soon
Scaredycat what a lovely day you had visiting various family members. I think it’s lovely you see them so often.
I’m ok . Hand not too bad . I need to get back to my routine as much as possible. Bank holidays are difficult

Hi all
HVDY- Iwouldnt alter the dress either- it,ll be nice and cool and was a bargain as well.
Your DGD is nice and tall- one of ours is too. The Temu stuff looks really pretty.
Ah that poor girl she must have been really scared and her Mum too.Glad it was nothing worse but still bad enough. So young to go through that experience. It was good you were free to see after Little Girl.
Jaffa is certainly being a good boy for you at the moment.
Doodle- Ah you must feel very tired still you’ve been through such a lot. You must have used up a lot of nervous energy the last few days.
You’re right - I think we all miss the clothes shops that are no more. Remember Richard’s ,Army and Navy and the joys of C and A when we were young.
Hope you,ve had some visitors today and you aren’t in pain.
Wyllow- you managed all your chores but it is as you say grim just keeping on. You so need some human company and conversation . I so wish I could help you .
Hope the shopping went ok and it helped you being out and about. Would it be at all possible to have a coffee with one of your Quaker friends?
SweetPeaSue- All the best for your DH appointment tomorrow- will be thinking of youxx

This morning I went with DD to see GGD on her birthday.
She loves to bake and had made us all lovely cup cakes. She does it all herself and absolutely loves baking.
This afternoon DH and I went to see my Stepson and DiL to take her Birthday pressy as her BD is next week. More cake- I shall look like a cake soon. They have a dear little Cockapoo so got a hairy cuddle.
Love to all present and those who post when they canxxxx

What a strange day it's been - DH and I had planned to go out today but DIL rang, her girl (14) found a painful lump in her breast, so went to the walk-in centre in town. They advised A&E to see a breast specialist, made an appointment. We looked after Little Girl as Son1 was out with a friend in a different city, for the day. SIL rang, her girl was seen, given antibiotics for breast abscesses, told she'll need to go back in the week to have it/them drained. Poor girl. I haven't heard of that in a teenager before.

Doodle It's not surprising you feel low. I hope you manage to see friends soon.

Wyllow3 Girls grow up so quickly these days. The 10 yr old GD also uses skincare things, straighteners, etc. I didn't, until I started work at 16. Got LittlwGirl on Friday, as well as GD1 that day. I must go ut today, somewhere. Hope you get your shopping done but being alone so much isn't good.

Awake at 6. No matter how late I go to bed (11.30 last night), I wake up early. Jaffa is a good boy at night, lately. x

I hope your “nothing’ day was OK, HVDY. I hope you enjoy the day centre this week and see Littlegirl. Your GD is at that age when clothes and skin care matter. We didnt really think about that way back, did we.

Doodle I’m not surprised you re feeling low with your arm on top of everything’s else. I hope you’ll be able to see friends soon.

I’ glad you and DH got out to your seat above the sea. Better than staying in, and the important appointment coming up. Best to do what you did, a bit pop pottering and the baby rung sounds nice, dont forget a photo if you can manage it.

Well I’ve certainly not seen jousting before, Scardeycat. It is hard thinking, “will I be able to to do it soon” ……..just koko as long as you can xx

I did what I needed to today, clothes wash, shower, but its all rather grim koko. all day, never seeing people. Supermarket tomorrow.

Night night all, best sleep possible, and bests for better days tomorrow.

Doodle Hope you feel a bit better tomorrow. I understand that General Anaesthetic affects people so much and it affected my DH significantly after hip replacements.
Just hoping you feel better tomorrow. Xx

Evening all. A quiet day for me resting again. I’m feeling very low but that could be the after effects of the anaesthetic.
Not in a lot of pain but can’t do much with my hand or fingers.
HVDY. Nothing wrong with having a lazy day. I’m bored but haven’t the energy to do anything.
scaredycat I’m not surprised you have a big diary. You need it with a big family. All those dates to keep track of.
Sweetpeasue I’m sorry your DH is feeling down. Not surprised really. Hope the sea air did you both some good
Wyllow are you looking for some new clothes. ? Not any good clothes shops around these days. Hope you find something you like

SweetpeaSue I'm sorry your husband feels so low. Understandable, with all this waiting for things and seemingly getting nowhere. His lung function tests will hopefully give an idea of what's wrong with his breathing etc. The time you spent sitting near the sea sounds very relacing. It's very windy here, too.

ScaredyCat I probably won't bother to get the dress altered - it'd cost more than I paid for it (£8, Blue Vanilla, still has all the tags on). Your day out sounds very interesting. You certainly make the most of life. Our eldest GD is going to be 14 next month. She asked for a couple of dresses from Temu, bless her. She's not materialistic at all. She's lost weight and is now 12-14, at 5ft 7. I've bought her a lot of skincare stuff, too.

Another "nothing" day. Unless I suggest somewhere to go, we don't bother (DH is happy to be at home all the time). Plasterer came and looked at 2nd bedroom, so he'll be sorting that out in about a month. Hope evryoe's been ok x

Hi all
Wyllow- Next is a good idea . It’s a bit of a mixed bag but worth a look. It’d be nice to go with carer if the weather isn’t too good. Nice anyway to dip a toe in the shopping water!
You must have been tired to sleep that late. It will have done you good. I expect you,ve been busy today too and tomorrow is food shop day isn’t it. Have a look at the clothes in Sainsbury’s - not a patch on M and S but they can have some nice things.
Hope you have a peaceful night.
HVDY- glad the dresses are nice - will you get the longer one shortened?
Hope you found something nice to do. We went to our nearby Castle as they had jousting there today. There were so many people there but lovely to see families out enjoying themselves.
It’s great fun to watch and looks dangerous . The horses are lovely and looked like they were enjoying it too. Needless to say I,m knackered again but determined to squeeze as much in while we can.
SweetPeaSue- yes it’s hard to know what to buy once the GC start getting older isn’t it. We are giving our GGD some money this year as she is having a girly day with my DD and 2 of her daughters at the Shopping Centre near us . Wonder what she,ll pick😀
What a lovely description of your time by the sea - it is good for your mind isn’t it to be in beautiful surroundings. Your poor DH no wonder he’s feeling down it must feel never ending all these appointments with no satisfactory conclusions.
I hope Tuesday is different.
Doodle- hope you’re managing ok and not in too much discomfort. As always thinking of you.
Love to all here and those we haven’t seen for a while xx

LucyD It doesn't take too long before a garden gets wild without any care. I know from my aunt's sister and DH who died more than a year ago and lived adjacent to aunt. It's so sad for my aunt to look at it abandoned. I'm sure once you're in you can tackle it though you might need help! Lovely for your DGD to watch seedling develop. Hope you manage a rest tomorrow after your weekend.
Scaredycat Oh your lovely tiny mum- you must miss her so much - I'm so glad you have your dear sister. Glad you had a lovely family celebration. Hope you're up to the next one on Monday ! My DGD has just turned 14 though even at 12 she seemed so grown up. I never know what to buy them for occasions now. I don't know how you manage with so many - just as well you have your big diary. Yes nearly at DHs appt day and already starring to feel nervous. Not exactly sure what he will do as his Spirometry test is later at a different hospital.
Wyllow You must have been so tired you needed that late morning. A nuisance about M&S - do you think you might step into Next . If not they're online too though it's difficult to guage styles sometimes. I wish Next weren't so keen on attracting younger buyers( but that might be just me!) Hope your day hasn't been too bad today.
EllieAnne There's not been a great deal of rain here but the wind is so strong. I understand it's much better for you when you can get out and it's certainly been good weather lately. Hope your garden wall has now been rebuilt.
HVDY Hope you've had a good day today. We all need a lazy day sometimes. Tbh , I don't get about with others that much and mine must seem quite dull in comparison. I did take aunt out to get groceries yesterday and a natter in coffee shop which she loves, though steering her around aisles can be stressful.
Doodle Hope your wrist hasn't been too painful though I expect it's not going to be great until it's all settled after the op. Don't worry about posting. I hope you saw someone today if you couldn't make church. I hope the healing process won't take too long . Hugs.

Went out to garden centre today to replace a terracotta pot that fell over and smashed. Not really a lot else to say. Replanted it then finished off a crocheted baby rug. DH quite depressed today, so we went out to sit on a seat above the sea. The tide was well in and just about 20 ft below us and there were little birds swooping beneath us - Sand-Martins I think. So windy.

Wishing all a peaceful night and love to those here and not mentioned.

Doodle You must have had a nasty break. I'm glad your operation went well. Good that you stayed at your son's. I hope you will get some help and that you can rest a bit now.

Wyllow I bet your carer would go with you to Next to look for clothes. DIL gets all of Little Girls's things from Next. My Vinted ones are nice, although one is far too long (on account of me being so damned short)

Scaredyat Another birthday! It's impossible to have too much cake . Enjoy the family time.

It was a lazy day yesterday. Not sure yet about today. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent one x

I’m glad you went to your sons, Doodle. I hope the healing does now go well. So hd for you, and hugs xx

Waves to Sweetpeasue understandable not to post with the headache. Next week is an important one.

Just as well you have a big birthday diary, Scardeycat! I’m not surprised you were tired but very well worth it.

Yes possibly go with my carer for clothes, if it’s raining. There is a Next just up the road, not a big or good one but you never know. I’m upset about M n S! You’ve got a good memory, yes tomorrow is washing day.

Today was a nothing day, dressing gown - I didnt wake up till 11 so not much day and was really tired out.

Best wishes for all BD’s present and reading

Night night all.

Hi all
Doodle- so glad the Op went well and you’re now home safely. Yes here’s hoping it heals quickly without any further problems. Must be mega awkward now though trying to do things. Take it easy and hope you are able to sleep well tonight.
Wyllow- thank you it was a good evening and GD3 had had a lovely day. We have a big diary that stays open all the time on a dresser otherwise we wouldn’t be able to keep track at all.
It’s so good for you to have somebody you can open up to without having to worry. It’s hard for you but I understand the reluctance to lay too much on your family.
Would your lovely carer maybe go shopping with you for clothes? To give you a kick start? M and S are in a right old muddle still aren’t they - my DD has a basket full of stuff waiting for online shopping to start!! It’s good to hear you even thinking of shopping for clothes.
Washing day tomorrow so you,ll be busy - hope it’s a good day.
HVDY- oh that poor lady- it certainly makes us grateful for being able to eat normally- .
Were you pleased with your Vinted dresses?
SweetPeaSue- sweet pictures of Fluffball. So pleased you had an enjoyable walk by the river.
Your Aunt sounds so tiny and sweet - my Mum was little like that.
Felt very tired today after yesterday but it was worth it. You’re right being with young people does help keep your mind full of silliness!! It’s my Great Grandaughters 12th Birthday on Monday so more cake!! Can’t believe next year she’ll be a teenager.
Not long now to wait for your DH Appt - 🤞
EllieAnne- it’s lovely walking in the rain under an umbrella and the plants need a break. But I do agree the Sun just makes you feel better.
Lucyd- I,m glad you have your little Grandaughter to brighten your days. Every day is an adventur for them isn’t it and we get to relive it with them.
It sounds like you,ll be pretty tired at the end of the weekend so hope you sleep well tonight. So nice to have you here .

Love to all here and those we haven’t seen lately.xx

Doodle So good of you to come in - no wonder you are so tired after everything that's happened- op and anaesthetic but also the emotional upheaval . Sounds like you've had quite a bit of work done there- it must have been a nasty break. I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this. Don't know how you've managed to post. Hope you sleep well and take those painkillers they should help at least. Love and hugs xx

Sorry all - very tired with headache but will come in soon. Wishing all a peaceful night.

Hello all thank you for caring. I left hospital at 7 last night and spent the night at our sons. I’m back home today and resting. Still very tired I’ve had plates put in my arm and it is quite painful and my fin Gers are still numb . I have a sling up to my shoulder so can’t use my right hand at all. At least it’s done now and hopefully will heal. I’m taking things easy and in painkillers which helps. Have a good bank holiday all. Xx

I’v been seeing in to see if there has been any news Doodle - I hope it went as well as it could and you are not in too much pain. Thinking of you as you probably can’t write xxx

I hope the Vinted dresses are really nice, HVDY. What a brave lady there that you met.

I hope your big family do was lovely, Scardeycat How do you keep track of all the birthdays....(its OK, I realised you were taling to me)

I'm glad you've managed to keep up with your sweetpease and containers. Sweetpeasue And to hear of your nice walk with Fluffball. good to have a cuddly dog but not too much overall responsibility (well I would find dog ownership too much) thank you for the little duckling and Fluffball photos.

I know what you mean about the sun Ellie Anne and Lucyd We desperatly need rain but the sun does help, as its not been too hot.

I'm still going to try to go out EllieAnne I need a "summer mac"

You've got very uphill work there with that garden Lucyd Phew. I hope you survive your very very busy weekend OK! I'm sorry to hear about the migraines.

Yes, I think I do feel that my carer actually cares. She knows more about me than family. I do hear what my family are up to but cant share my MH stuff. I've always withdrawn to protect DS from the worse bits, what do I do, that I can share? (but MH stuff didn't start badly, thankfully, until DS was at Uni and living with pals. I've seen whole families caught up in a way I couldn't lay on them, never mind stuff that happened with Ex's MH stuff that affected my DiL.
Getting up early for me is 8.15 for the cleaner. Today wasnt too bad thankfully - yes Sweetpeasue politics with a small p mostly but an interest in what I supppose used to be called "current affairs" takes my mind off myself.

I need new clothes very badly - many wearing out and weight on - just when M n S, where I got most stuff online - isnt available. I need so many basics but can go shopping by myself really to stores.

Thinking of our not in today BD's, best nights all.