Husband suddenly drinking milk

As someone who has been through similar with a relative the doctor will not talk to you about your husbands health. He might give you general advice about IBS but in my experience he won't even confirm that your husband has that condition.

Full fat milk has a sweetness to it. Also if it's kept in a fridge it will be cold to drink. It may be that he's craving sweet and/or cold liquids. If you are in the UK the weather has been much hotter than normal. These could all be linked.

Are you sure your husband is telling you the truth.

Has he actually given you a diet plan you are following?

I wouldn't know what exactly he could tolerate without being told - but the strange milk thing would worry me.

I'd call the surgery, say "my husband has apparently been diagnosed with xyz and I'm concerned about him drinking 4pts of milk a day, is this safe?"

He may not have IBS at all and be trying to "protect" himself by not discussing it.

At 87 and of sound mind he is free to decide what he eats and drinks. However as his wife I can't understand him not sharing with you,. I would have thought all that milk too much for anyone and I would be concerned. Has he an appointment to check on his blood cell count? The hospital or doctor would surely be monitoring his condition. It's very difficult when you don't know the full story to know which foods he should be having as people vary.

OP have you got adult cnildren to talk to and who may talk to him? Sympathies. But you are not responsible for his health. We are all responsible for our own health if we are of sound mind. So tell yourself that. Difficult situation.
I would just serve up easy rather bland food. If the diarrhoea continues then the BRAT diet is bland. Bananas. Rice. Apple Sauce. Toast. Good in hot weather anyway.

Unless he was very over weight loosing weight fast is a concern, there is something else going on, maybe the GP hasnt picked it up maybe he’s not telling you.
At 87 it could be a whole range of digestive problems. At 76 I’m finding the GPs are being very patient led, you have to push to get things done.

Imodium or Buscopan should NOT be taken without medical supervision, depending on his medical issues.

What butterandjam says about- being 'very private' abut his health issues is totally unfair on OP. Could it be that he is terrified about a C diagnosis- or that he knows? Whatever his reasons, someone has to explain to him that he can't keep you out of the loop and leave you to deal with it.

We live in the North and it has not been hot for the last week, in fact its been bordering on cold! (I have a daughter on the south coast and I appreciate its been unbearably hot for you down there) but the temperature isn't a factor.
I rang the surgery and was told I could not discuss his health without written consent from him.
Its easy enough to get ibs diet advice on the internet so I'm following the recommendations for the time being, and ignoring the milk aspect. If he wants to go out and buy 4 pints of milk its up to him, he knows my views.
He seems more cheerful this morning, your observations have been quite enlightening.
I still think the ibs diagnosis is lazy thinking.
(Like most people I have things like imodium and laxido in the cupboard)

Full fat milk is delicious but he should keep off dairy produce while he has diarroea. May be offer him oat ' milk' and not let on it is not dairy.

Creamy well mashed potatoes with non dairy 'cream' may appeal to him.

David wrote:

"Unless he was very over weight loosing weight fast is a concern, there is something else going on, maybe the GP hasnt picked it up maybe he’s not telling you.
At 87 it could be a whole range of digestive problems. At 76 I’m finding the GPs are being very patient led, you have to push to get things done."

Excuse copying David. It is such good advice it is worth C and P

I think that IBS is a lazy blanket diagnosis too, they seem to use it to cover many problems for which they have not fully tested so it isn't really a diagnosis at all IMO. It's a bit like saying you have a wheezy chest - it could be any number of things.
My son had digestive problems as a teenager, we had private health insurance then and it was thoroughly investigated and "IBS" was diagnosed which didn't help at all. It turns out that he has a lactose intolerance which he can deal with pretty easily, though there are many coeliacs in our family so there may well be gluten intolerance too, which I have myself.
However drinking all that milk might be making things worse.
It's very hard on you if you don't know what to do to help him, and I can't understand why he won't discuss it with you.

Maybe he suspects that he has an ulcer and that milk would help? If that's the case, ulcers can be very dangerous.

OP how did he actually lose 2.5 stone in such a short space of time? You say he looks better for it, but is he continuing to lose weight?

What was the outcome/diagnosis following his hospital stay due to his red blood cells? Has he had a hospital follow up? What does it say on his discharge form? Or are you not allowed to see it?
Does he get his "medical" advice from someone at the newsagent?

IBS is now the get out as was taking the pill many years ago.
How many women did you know back then who went to the Dr with, say, diarrhoea, constipation, rash, shortness of breath, a broken leg? and then the Dr looks at you and says, ah, I see your on the pill, you will get this 😡

My sister told me she was going to kill herself; clearly she was ill. I wrote to her GP "in extremis". He visited her as if a routine call. I saved her life. She will never know what I did.

ExDancer my husband used to drink 3 pts of full fat milk for years before we got married he got a kidney stone . This was in the 70's the consultant told him it was because of the milk. And no more than half a pint a day. He gave him a tablet and injection to break the stone up . He said it was like peeing razor blades . It cured him if drinking full fat milk as soon as skimmed milk was about he only had that.

My ex had IBS and after many investigations and research done himself he suspected lactose intolerance. Once he cut out milk he eventually recovered. He was much younger at the time and initially had to limit fruit and veg as well as milk but as far as I know he has no issues now in that area.

At the time my DD was very reluctant to drink milk although she consumed plenty things like sauces containing milk as well as yogurts and cheese so my health visitor was not concerned about her diet. However my MiL had a problem and was continually trying to get her to drink milk, and accused me of putting her off it as I don't like it myself - memories of school milk! When she was told that her DS was having to give up milk and limit fruit and veg she was horrified! At least she then gave up trying to force milk down my daughter.

I'd be suggesting that maybe lactose intolerance might be causing his digestive issues and suggest he cuts back. Unfortunately if he thinks he's doing something healthy he may be difficult to convince. You coud also try getting lactose free milk - if that is the problem it could improve things. Unfortunately your GP is unlikely to tell you much unless he's very concerned about your husband's prognosis, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

Should say it took me years after we got married to ban him from having a tin of plain chocolate digestives by the bed. He didn't put weight on. He had been doing it since a boy . He's excuse he got hungry in the night . 🤦

No I have not read all of the posts here but my very first thoughts were, digestion problems. I suffer from diverticulitis outbreaks often and they can be very debilitating and if he is suffering from urgent diarrhoea that to can be a symptom of diverticulitis. I am 80 this year myself. There is so much help out there , none of which is embarrassing which being a man is what he is probably concerned about. The loss of weight is a red signal and should not be ignored. May be you could have a word with his doctor without him knowing and they could ask him to come in for a 'general checkup'. Despite doctors being run off their feet , I can assure you if they think this is something that needs to be seen they are pretty good. It must be an awful worry for you. You are in my prayers.

If this were my situation I would go and see the GP and make it perfectly clear that you will not ask her any questions about your husband (and don't) but tell her what you are experiencing. That he is drinking a large amount of milk. That he will not give you any information. That he is occasionally (or otherwise) faecally incontinent but tries to hide this from you. The changes you are making to his diet. That his symptoms have not improved. Anything else that may be relevant. Then say something like "I know you can not tell me anything about his health or what you have discussed with him but can you please advise me of anything I can do to make his life easier. I am suffering emotionally from this pressure and I don't want to become ill so that I cannot care for him." That might get you, at least, some advice. I wouldn't tell him if you do this, and ask the GP not to(!) as that would only make him worse. I truly hope that you get to the cause of his illness.

If he does have IBS, full-fat milk won't do him much good. To be honest, full-fat milk, if he is having diarrhea, etc., will not help whatever the diagnosis. I know that years ago milk was supposed to help ulcers; my uncle lived on boiled fish and milk—not nice. Maybe he thinks or has been told he has an ulcer. if he wont be open with you, there's not a lot you can do, but if he should really share things so you know what you are dealing with, whether he is a private person or not

He needs to go back to the dr for allergy tests- after years of loving dairy products i was diagnosed with lactose intollerance- i have relatives who are dairy- free entirely,and have had similar symptoms to your husband- he could be allergic to dairy entirely,or lactose intollerant? Having 4pints of milk in a day wont help him in that case.Insist that he either allows you to go see doc with him, or he must make his own meals if not.

You know what it almost sounds like he might be lactose intolerant and that’s a tough one. However you can get full fat lactose free milk. He’s trying to put some weight on. It sounds like he’s scared and that’s understandable, but I certainly as a process of elimination would cut out the lactose in the milk. And like has been said it would be wonderful if you could speak with his doctor because something’s not quite right there. I’m so sorry this is happening to you all.

There is very little you can do unfortunately. You cannot force him to go to the doctors and the doctor will not discuss his health with you. It is very frustrating especially as you have information that could be pertinent which dh isn’t telling. Has he not been called back for further blood tests or is it just he won’t go? You could send an email to the doctor outlining his symptoms so the doctor has it on record. There is then no breach of patient confidentiality. Apart from then continuing to nag dh to see the doctor there is little else you can do.