BLACK DOG 26

ScaredyCat Oh dear, your poor friend. Hope her husband goes on alright. Glad the son isn't far.

SweetpeaSue I agree, something needs to be done quickly, to help your husband. I hope you manage to see a GP today.

Wyllow3 As if . DH had a Balti, I had Chicken Chettinad.

I slept well last night (all that walking yesterday, 8000 steps was a LOT for me), 10.30 - 5 then back to sleep for 2 hours. Lazy-ish day today. Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

Hi all
HVDY- I,m bereft for my friend but of course she needs us all to be strong for her.
Bad news also about my friend and her DH who both have Alzheimer’s - I just can’t write about it right now.
So glad you had a good day out and great finish to the day . Just Googled Chettinad - sounds a bit hot but tasty.
Just a day out like that can feel like a mini holiday can’t it. First of many eh!!
SweetPeaSue- Hope you have managed to see a GP for DH today. The treatment he is receiving is just not good enough. It’s always stressful when it’s the weekend and there’s not much you can do. It’s beyond me how his symptoms don’t warrant an urgent Cardiology appointment.
Not only that but the heat is probably not helping either.
Nadateturbe- thinking of you too.
Wyllow- bet you’re busy today getting ready for the weekend. I,m sure all BDs are as happy as I am to think of you all together. Don’t do too much but just enjoy every moment.
Doodle- have you anything arranged for the weekend? It’s still so hot isn’t it.
EllieAnne- weekends must seem to come round so quickly for you. Hope you have some bright moments this weekend.
Candy- how are you?
SallyWally- hope you feel a bit brighter today. We,re always here to listen.

Love to all- those mentioned and all BD friends old and new.

Hello all, not been in for ages so just had a catch up. I’ve been so busy and my tiredness restricts me. Anything I need to do needs to be done morning/early afternoon before my fatigue sets in.
Wyllow good you got the letter sorted. I hope it’s released a few negative feelings and you’re feeling better about things. You are having a busy time too. Enjoy being with your family.
*Sweetpeasue” glad you finally got a diagnosis but you really shouldn’t have had to go through all of that to get there. I hope the cause of DH’s breathlessness gets sorted soon. It must be harder in the hot weather we are having too. Hope you manage to speak to the psychologist yourself too. All these problems with your DH must impact on your MH. Take care of yourself.
Scaredycat I am so sorry about your friend. It must be difficult for you to experience. You can only be there to support her and I’m guessing she will need a lot of support bless her. And now too her DH. Life definitely deals some hard blows at times. Wishing you and them all the very best.
HVDY sounds like you had a lovely day out. I’ll bet you will be looking forward to seeing your family again on Monday. Mine have recently been away too. It’s good we can keep in touch using social media though. Hope you have a good day today.
Doodle Happy belated Birthday. Sounds like you had a nice day and some nice food too. Hope you’re still managing to keep busy and you are managing ok in these high temperatures.
Sallywally1 so frustrating for you. I would be the same. I hope the next two weeks passes quickly for you. Try to keep your spirits up by thinking of all the things you want to do when you can. Sending a big hug.
Nadaterturbe Hope you are managing well with your fatigue. Must be harder in these temperatures. Thinking of you ❤️.
Ellie Anne Are you still at your daughter’s? At least it’s cooler for walking in the woods. I walk in a local wood too and I’m fine with it except I need to walk quicker than usual so I don’t get bitten! I understand your frustration in not being able to do as much. I can still do it but I get more tired afterwards. Hope you are ok.

We are at our caravan. It’s going to be a lovely weekend weather wise. Going to local food festival tomorrow which was lovely last year. Have a lovely evening everyone and love to all those not personally mentioned too xx

Scaredycat Oh no, I'm sorry too for your other friend and her DH with Alzheimer's. You will have a heavy heart for them all though I know you will be a strong friend. You have such empathy for others and thankyou for understanding my own bafflement about my DHs care. I hope your back is improving and not causing too much pain.
HVDY My- 8000 steps - hope your legs weren't too wobbly today. My DH and I need to walk more but it's not easy for him in the hot weather. Thanks we did get an appt. I was so anxious that the GP wouldn't give us F2F.

Busy day. My car was expected in to garage to put right air con so after the early morning GP surgery call followed DH up to garage for 9am then back to pick up Fluffball. Waited all morning for GP to call back and when she did , agreed to F2F. Told her needed to sort out private Cardiologist as its not down to SS as told by private Vascular Dr.
She'd written the Vascular NHSreferral to Newcastle before we suddenly decided to go to private one so she hoped that particular referral was used as she'd taken time to write it. It was so good a referral so of course we had used it. She said, with humour, that she knew I would ' go over it with a toothcomb' so she'd been really careful and written it at home. I can only think she was remembering how I'd poured over my own medical records over the past when Dr's lied to me about mistakes about op procedure. She's going to use some of the Vascular referral and add other things appropriate to Cardiologist.
We left satisfied that the surgery were now being careful . I can't help thinking that the young GP we stuck with was such a mistake though we did so because he only did F2F appts and I wanted to make sure we went together.
Still feel things may have been sorted long before now if DH had gone for phone appts with more experienced GP.
It wouldn't have solved the Vascular consultant dismissing my DH twice though.

So now we wait for doppler CT promised by private Vascular and appt with Cardiologist.
My gut been terrible today but I'm so relieved at long last we've got things underway. I'm just scared that there's been irreparable damage done.

Hoping everyone has had a reasonable day. Wondering how you all are.

ScaredyCat Your friends are going through tough times. I know you'll support them all you can.

Candy6 Enjoy your time at the caravan. The food festival sounds good - what type of foods do you like best?

Nadateturbe, SallyWally, SweetpeaSue, and ALL BDers - how was your day?

DH was very busy - he took up all the laminate flooring from 2nd bedroom, took it to the tip Then he mowed the lawn and bagged it all up, for the tip tomorrow. I did housework and washing. Just had dinner at our favourite pub. Hope everyone is managing with this heat x

Candy Crossed posts there. Hope you have a nice relaxing time at your caravan. Makes a difference when the weather is good doesn't it. So you have the same blood I have! The sort the midges go for. Thanks for your good wishes.

HVDY Your DH really has been busy and I know what it's like taking heavy stuff to the tip. Then the grass cutting too! I bet he was well chuffed. Do you keep supplying him with cups of tea and praise as I've done?😉 A well earned pub dinner there for you both.

Scaredycat I’m so sorry you’ve had so much bad news in the last few days. Shame they can’t operate on your friend but perhaps some treatment can help. Also your other friend Dh in hospital too. Is your friend aware of what’s happening?
I m seeing a friend tomorrow afternoon and church Sunday followed by food shop.
+Candy* lovely to hear from you thank you for my birthday wishes. Have a lovely time at your caravan. Looks like being good weather.
HVDY wow sounds like your Dh has had a full in day today and been really busy. Nice you could have a pub meal this evening. You did lots of steps yesterday.
Wyllow hope you’ve had a good day and not done too much. It so hot out.
Sweetpeasue so pleased that at last things are happening for your Dh. Hope the cardio appointment comes in soon
So glad you got on well with your friend. Sounds like she needs the company.

Sorry not written too much. Although my wrist is much better, writing or typing is still hard and once it starts hurting I have to stop for a while. Have a good weekend all.

Doodle Glad the wrist is improving but sensible not to overuse. Hope you have a nice day tomorrow afternoon with your friend and good day at church. Take care of yourself and wishing you a peaceful night. X

SweetpeaSue Too hot for tea, but I made him several cold drinks. He worked hard. Next will be fitting skirtings and giving the bedroom ceiling and 2 walls a diluted coat of paint. He'll do that in the week. Your persistence with doctors, etc, is hopefully now paying off (but things shouldn't have to be like that). We're lucky as all of our GPs do F2F appointments, and I've seen several doctors. ALL GPs ought to offer F2F sessions. I hope things move quickly for your husband now.

Doodle Hope you have a pleasant day. Glad your wrist is getting better. Wise not to over-use it.

A much fresher morning (hope it stays that way). Jaffa's been drinking water out of a roasting tin that I put out for hedgehogs. Silly animal. Love to all x

I have just slept for 10 hours, of that, and why, later.

Well HVDY I just have to say that after all my yesterdays hassles and joys, only a curry would do, so of course I got the top curry, Korma 😉. Your DH did a top job there, too.

Scardeycat I guess you, being that wee bit older than most of us, are facing more full on right now what we all will have to one day - friends and loved ones facing dementia and deterioration.

All my family feel glad that my mum, who was alert on the ball of rather opinionated and talked for Britain…..until a stroke, and then another, 6 weeks in a nice stroke unit for 6 weeks in total then gently dying - I saw her on the day before, and she more of less said “I want to go” as she had just lost speech and finally died after an evening with her very best friend of all.

I’m off the see the family a bit later, due to arrive at 11 unless the OS map lets me down - wot no sat nav, tut tut.

Great to see you in, Candy. Have a lovely time at the caravan this weekend. Ooo, a food festival, too, sounds good. I see you are still ‘doing a lot and get fatigued” - but it works for you and thats what matters, especially as going to the gym makes you physically tired.

It seems, Sweetpeasue, that your GP is now, that she knows you, happy to work “with” you on your approach. Credit to you to get to that situation. The GP I always now try to see accepted my involvement from day 1 - like a “partnership”.

May the doppler CT promised by private Vascular and appt with Cardiologist come soon, have you a time scale?

As regards DH not being as involved as you’d like - it’s a case of “taking the horse to the water”, but you cant “make them drink”.

I hope you have a good time with your friend today, Doodle. I thought I would have to miss Quakers tomorrow, so I’m glad like you can make it to Sunday morning’s special times. I’m also glad you’ve had more little wrist improvements.

Yesterday was all set up at the beginning of the day. Rein Man P turned up with 2 workers, and my cleaner N not only turned up to work her magic but suggested we go for bike rides together, she could get her husband to drop her by with the bike. Well, it looks like cleaner is turning into Friend and I’d love company as I start up bike rides again. (There’s a great local circular one going through “Edge of city” countryside, with a nice cafe 2/3rd of the way along or a pub if the cafe is closed)

But……the overriding emotion trouble was that it was one of the best things me and Ex did, Was to make my garden lovely, including of course the path that I’d designed, Ex had hauled earth and rocks around, and was now being resined along with a lovely teardrop shape at the end of the garden.

^So whatever happened it was got to be poignant especially so soon after ‘the Letter^’

I wandered out after P had gone and found that to clear the edges of both the path and the tear drop, the 2 workers had just these:

A shovel, and a pickaxe, a broom and a rake.

I found one worker about to lay down the stuff under the resin without clearing the teardrop at the edges properly. There was absolutely no way they could do the job without a mower or strimmer, a flat space, a trowel (s) and proper “rooting out weeds in cracks” tools.

Was in shock - had been promised “all taken care of”. And the worker was very miffed about being pulled up (for a while) and at 6ft 7 inches and a grim loos was tough.

But I went into the garage and got out everything they would need and set too myself, and taught the younger worker how to clear the edges of a path with particular sorts of weeds and with all of us working together, Mr Grumpy turned, by the end of the day, into Mr Gentle Giant talking about his family. In fact by the end of it, as I took a genuine interest, they thanked me for making the day a good experience. (I’d laid on lots of water and cordials and offered coffee and mars bars too).

But then came the hard bit - confronting P when he came back as to the price, as I felt he’d really provided the initial workers with in adequate tools and instructions, plus a willing young worker who didnt have a clue about clearing the way for the resin.

Looking back I know it was all about feeling P had “let me down terribly when he knew I’d been abused by a man”.

He had marched in with his even bigger brother who had no time for the “silly woman quibbling”, but he did have time after all. Long story short he did “hear” the upset, and I “heard” that most of the costs on the job were the resin itself, and he had actually (true) given me some left over from the day before’s work.

So I got a bit of money knocked off, it mattered in principle, and of course he should have equipped his men better and it was only my intervention that made the whole thing a real success - I have pride on that.

Then it became a farce when we went indoors to try to pay by bankers order, as long story short, am almost certain that Lloyds Bank have been under a cyber attack, resulting in not being able to transfer money without ringing the bank, then the most crazy questions imaginable -that I couldn’t have answered without P knowing how to find his firm’s company registration details and address of where registered….🙄

In the end he gave me a hug as he left, and it took me a longtime to take it in, especially as I had to go and collect a bike, and get cash for it because no way was I going to attempt a bank transfer…..

And thats when I bought the Korma, HVDY, and thought of you and Kormas ☺️…

Evening all.
HVDY I suppose water is water as far as Jaffa’s concerned. He’s s become very much a home cat now hasn’t he. I think he likes all the attention. Who wouldnt.
Your husbands doing a good job. Is he a good decorator?
Sweetpeasue hospice today and church tomorrow. Had a nice time at the hospice with three church friends. Hopefully will meet up with mote of them tomorrow for our coffee after the service.
Wyllow my goodness what a day you’ve had. I’m finding it hard to visualise this resin path that ends in a teardrop although it sounds lovely, Glad it all got sorted in the end.
Scaredycat hope you’re having a good weekend. I’ve not done much today but had a nice time with friends. Have you been up to much?
Ellie Anne thinking of you as yet another weekend comes around. Hope you are ok

Wyllow Re the garden work and final bill - all I can say is you'd make a brilliant and formidable businesswoman. But you also parted as friends.
About DH and GP appts -- no , I wasn't clear. I meant that we went to the young and less experienced GP because we knew he did F2F appts ,it was just that really , but had I not felt it would be better me being there DH might have fared better on his own. I suppose we'll never know.
Hope you're having a wonderful family catch up - so happy for you.
HVDY Your DH must be very proud of his work. It's good to see them feeling that they've done a good job and their efforts have paid off. Have you seen your hedgehog? We saw one visit regularly and one night we were sat on garden bench and it wandered up , saw us, then turned around and shuffled off. Never seen it since. We do sometimes see hedgehog poops though.

Took aunt out this morning but after coffee ,when doing a shop in supermarket ,could see DH not right. Aunt didn't suspect anything but we quickly finished up and he was so slow and just not with it at all. I wanted him to go to A&E but he won't. I'm so concerned that he's not going to get treated in time. He just feels so tired and hates me trying to take the reins . We went out with a flask of coffee and just sat on a bench watching the sea .

Hope everyone's had a reasonable day.

Wyllow3 The teardrop design sounds unusual and individual. You certainly know what you want and don't "suffer fools gladly". I like that. Korma = baby food Hope you've been having a great family day.

Doodle Jaffa's had freshly-cooked tuna steak this evening. He loves life now. DH is a decent decorator - he/we always do those things, never had a professional. My dad was a painter and decorator, so I picked up a few things. Glad you had a nice time at the hospice. Hope you had cake.

SweetpeaSue I've seen a hedgehog a few times (but don't feed it because of all the cats around). Yes, we find the droppings . I can understand your husband not wanting to sit in A&E for hours on end, especially on a Saturday. Taking it easy is the best thing to do at the moment. Is he less breathless now that the weather is cooler?

Not done much today, only a bit of ironing and housework. SGD's birthday, she's 15 today. They're having a buffet next Sunday for that. Hope ALL BDers are ok x

I’m so fed up with myself. Eating rubbish and no motivation or energy to go walking. I started filling in a form for the weight loss injection but gave up when it was asking for dr s details and photos.
Candy I was at dd for less than a week.
I’ve not heard from her since.
Got out in the garden this afternoon and did a bit of weeding and reading.
It’s getting dark earlier now.
Feels like the end of summer. Grand children are back at school. And groups will be starting up soon.
Sweet pea sue I hope your dh will get the help he needs soon.

Ellie Anne I’ve put on a lot of weight and can’t seem to shift it. Just a thought. Have you considered going to Slimming World or something like that. I know someone who’s been going for years she enjoys meeting up with people there. Might be an idea for some company

Doodle I have thought about it but my irregular eating habits might make it difficult. Also my drinking. I suppose like many I just want a miracle.

I wondered many times re Ex whether it was better for me to be there or not, Sweetpeasue. It’s a difficult one, as it’s sometimes yes and sometimes not?

But today was so hard, wanting him to go to A and E and him not. What can I say - you cant “make him” and you have not means of forcing it unless you have POA, etc. Doctors would be quite clear -it’s up to him, and he may well be right about his own body.

I think just sitting watching the sea was a great idea.

Jaffa is one fortunate cat, HVDY. As you both are, that DH is good at decorating. You are clearly both very practical in different ways.

I put on a lot of weight when I was depressed, EllieAnne. It’s been going back to the gym and my not able to relax a to stuff making a difference now

Do You have any local yoga for beginners? It’s company as well as calming and feeling more in control of your body. Doodle’s chair exercise is good and she had a good idea about slimming world too.

I’d say - you are liked and loved here, and please….dont take lack of self love out on your body, if you can manage..it partly amounts to that, in a way… I ate healthily, but I hated eating, and ate the same every single day for a long period. No miracles, but the options of trying a new anti depressant is still there - it wont be the same as last time if you try a different drug?

Alcohol, and I had some each night too, is a depressant, not at the time, but when you wake in the morning

I can’t eat salmon now. I had salmon, a pancake, and green veg every evening for about 18 months before Scaredycat somehow persuaded me to do treats and I started on a variety of ready meals instead.

But .......I never have got comfort from eating cakes and sweet stuff except again when being encouraged to have treats, some choc.

Today was simply lovely, no other word for it. It’s been 3 years.
It didnt feel 3 years.

Each child had their special time with me, they are all interested in something particular, the youngest in rare stones (Quart, Obsidian, how they got made in volcanos etc. I’d given him some black quartz…he was interested in how you can create a new plant from a cutting in water. the eldest boy wanted a fiver..he’s very shy and its best to let him make the running, but has had to promise to help me water the garden tomorrow (willingly)

I’d found two charity mini cups and saucers that M aged 9 loved - she’s talented crafts wise and wanted to come home with me: and of course L, who is very disabled, 11 - well it was lovely because she likes to play climbing over and under me and sort of touchy feely yoga ish stuff and has her own world - its not hard to join. The hot tub was very nice.

On the way home I bought things for a picnic lunch in the garden tomorrow - the sun didn’t show its face today, maybe tomorrow.

I had the rest of that top curry, Korma, with sag paneer HVDY

The last 2/3rds of the garden with the new "yellow brick road" and the tear drop in the wild part at the end. the first third is patio with pots and borders. I designed it: Ex did the original heavy work but the path and teardrop has turned green and gloomy.

You can see why I need garden help, tho getting on top of it now, but even some of the. bigger plants are wilting

Before new path and teardrop

before

(cant make it work...)

Goodnight all BD's, posting and reading.

EllieAnne Re the "fat jabs" - they are expensive to buy (and sometimes hard to get as so many people are buying them up). Our GP surgery states that to be eligible on the NHS, a person needs to have a BMI of 35 or higher, and 4 other health conditions (type 2 Diabetes, Hypertension, heart disease and something else). My friend is eligible but has decided to do Slimming World (she lost weight on it years ago, then gained it all back). She started at almost 20st, has lost 18lbs in 9 weeks - there's no quick fix. The children in England don't go back to school until the beginning of Sept. Is it different where you are?

Wyllow3 I'm so glad you had such a great day with your family. Good that you spent time with the children, chatted with them as individuals. A picnic in the garden sounds a nice idea. Your garden is beautiful - all the trees look great. Hope the sun shines today and that you have another lovely day.

Son1 and his family will be home at 4am tomorrow, so will be making the most of their last day away today. Not doing anything much today - might look at wallpaper/paint for bedroom. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Wyllow3 Glad you enjoyed the saag paneer - I like spinach but not the cheese.

Wyllow your garden looks lovely. I’m sure you will have a good day today. Mine is grass and borders. I will try to get a picture later.
Hvdy our schools break up mid June and are back now. First day in primary for gs and first day at high school for gd2.
I wouldn’t be eligible for the jab on the nhs. My d in L is on it but she has diabetes. It worked great at first but has slowed down.
Really all I need to do is eat sensibly and cut out treats and alcohol. Easily said.
And exercise more.
I’m not a gym person. Tried it years ago with dd and hated it.
But I’m going to try to go swimming again and get back to walking more.