BLACK DOG 26

Evening all.
Strange about female friends I’ve only had a few in my life. My fault I suppose. I’ve never been one for going out with other women. Not pubs or clubs.. I was just happy being with Dh and him me., I have made lots of friends in the last year. Lovely people who have been so kind but nothing comes near that lovely time of being with Dh. Been a bit up and down today. Got to the “ meal for two deal” at Waitrose and started crying, no one noticed.
Wyllow glad you seem to be getting on with Mr Costa, he sounds nice and caring.
Sweetpeasue I love your little Fluffball, such a sweet little face. I’m sorry your Dh keeps having these breathing problems. I do hope he gets seen soon.
Nadateturbe I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. Does he live close by. Glad you were able to visit I’m sure he appreciates it.
HVDy I agree with you I knew some not so nice people at work who used to talk about others behind their back. I don’t like that sort of thing. Do the other grandparents not have both girls to stay at their caravan? Bet you’re missing Lg too
Scaredycat nice of you to say but I do look dumpy. All my weight is around my middle. Yes my 2 DGDs are sisters. They get on really well with each other. They are both away from home during term time so nice for them to be together in the summer holidays.
Hope you enjoyed the family meal. How nice for you all to get together.
Ellie Anne hope you enjoy watching your DGd. DH and I always used to go and watch ours dancing. I bet she’ll love the fact you’ve made the effort to go

Wyllow she has a headache and a sore throat but got a good score and no mishaps. Just lacking her usual sparkle.
Home now.
Heating has come on!

ScaredyCat MySIL went through a phase (it lasted a couple of years, perhaps 3) where she accused my brother of stealing her money, rings, etc., and of hacking into her laptop and changing her passwords - she used to leave things in strange places, not remember passwords but became unable to use a computer anyway), and she'd accuse him of beating her up (he's her 3rd husband but it was her 2nd husband who knaocked her about). Dementia is a terrible thing. I hope you enjoy your family meal out. It's lovely to be able to eat out.

EllieAnne What you describe sounds like Social Anxiety. I have that, even just going to someone's house.

Wyllow3 How nice of her to ask you to be "proper" friends. She sounds like a gentle, good person. Were you hoping to bump into your Costa friend in there?

Doodle The grandparents have never had anyone to stay at their caravan before. They have, on the odd occasion, had 1 or the other girl to stay for a night at their house. They wouldn't have both girls. They aren't very involved as grandparents.

EllieAnne Glad your GD got on well and hope she feels better soon.

Saw Son1 and GD2 earlier, went for a pub lunch, played board games and cards there (pub), too. Just spent almost 2 hours on the 'phone with a friend . It's got dark since we started the call! Hope everyone has a restful night x

Sorry- really feeling so extremely tired and feel awful not answering individual posts. Brain fog and aching everywhere .
Will come in tomorrow. Hope everyone has a peaceful night.xx

Doodle she is a figure skater and her jumps scare me..
She’s only 12 but some of her level are a few years older. She came 8 th out of 23.
I couldn’t survive without my friends but it must be different if you are in a happy marriage.

I'm just glad that you are reaching out nowand very naturally getting female friends, Doodle - what happened before was understandable. Yes, the "meal for two: hits me now, just in a general sense "I dont want to be alone: and somehow every where you look, there seem to be couples buying food.

Of course (after close observation at Sainsbugs, that just isn't the case), I see particularly older people who are clearly struggling too, or some perfectly happy with being alone. It's one of the reasons I like a person on the till if possible, a wee natter.

Doodle and Ellie Anne and in general - there are a few people - you can spot them, comfortable in themselves with or without a dog: who are any maybe - even always have been - not just happy but have made a choice to be on their own in life.

We aren't one are we Ellie Anne. Your granddaughter is impressive, bold. You clearly did a lot right raising her parent!

Hoping your brain fog is a little better today Sweetpeasue. It's not surprising, I hope your legs and carry you - and DH's legs - for a little beach walk.

I was thinking, HVDY about you and women friends and how sometimes they can be rotten, and wondered if early experiences of needing to cover your face skin because of your condition had just made it worse, as in spiteful girls.

I do hope you had a lovely meal out, Scardeycat.

Yes I went to Costa, and encountered Mr Costa as he drove in and me out, windows wound down: I'd given him a lot of food for thought in a WhatsApp but yesterday evening had a lot of messages: it turns out that the beautiful love song he'd played in the car as he dropped me off that I was trying to find on U tube as I wanted to look at it again..
.....was written and played by him. Yes, enormous. I responded by sending him this video on U tube that I made for my Yoga course presentation:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwCqbN5OJD8&list=RDMM&start_radio=1

but this morning I woke thinking, "this feels all too a bit big to fast"

Got Quakers, a loving pondering space.

This has enormous potential but also big pitfalls - if Mr Costa still needs to go on the run and not settled in his mind or soul yet, (ie "maybe I'll got to Spain for the winter") Wyllow, slow things down. but he does know, from what I wrote yesterday morning, there is a big age gap.

SweetpeaSue Hope you have a better day today.
EllieAnne She did very well!

Wyllow3 No, that wasn't what happened. I was slim, decent-looking, had perfect skin (never had teenage acne or anything), and the women didn't particularly target me; they were mean to each other, behind each other's backs. Incidentally, I didn't get the Rosacea until I was in my late 30s. It was terrible when I was in my early 40s - I was prescribed Roaccutane, 3 times. Now, my skin is smooth, unlined apart from the Marionette and frown lines, but always looks flushed. No bother with it. A thoughtful YouTube link there. Is Mr Costa a lot younger than you? I'm sure you know the pitfalls, but be careful.

It's a bright, sunny day - DH is lounging about, wasting the day [sigh]. I really need to find things to do/places to go, without him - and I will. In the meantime, there are a few things to do at home. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Can't answer all as on way out soon.
Nadateturbe I'm so sorry about you DB. Very hard times indeed . I understand how vulnerable someone can look with syringe drivers for various drugs( mum had Pancreatic C). I' m sure the nurses will make sure he's comfortable. It's so hard to watch. Sending a big hug.
Wyllow .r C sounds so nice and looks as if you've a lot in common and can talk about. That makes for a lovely friendship even if its not to be that it develops into more. You are right to protect your heart though .
HVDY Sometimes I wake up like that too and need a kick-start to start the day. I hope you and DH can find something to do together - you've both made huge strides in decorating. Oooh how lovely to have a smooth unlined skin! I'm always covering up mine with foundation and a bit of blusher or I'd look pale.
EllieAnne I absolutely love to watch ice -skating. I think I'd have my hand in my mouth watching a DGD doing the jumps though. Sounds like she's doing really well. She will live you coming to watch her.

Youngest sis just texted an hr ago asking if we'd like to meet in pub over moors. She has more wool. I'm taking her a lorry load of plums.

Hope everyone has had a decent day.

Afternoon all
Doodle- You have made such an effort to socialise and find things that you enjoy doing and have met some kind ,nice like minded people . Some of whom will become very good friends
I,m sure. Such a different life for you without your lovely man but one of hopefully contentment of another kind in time.
Ah a hug for you and your sad moment shopping- they can strike at any moment can’t they.
We did enjoy the meal thank you. GGD had had her nails done and a bit of eye make up- how did that happen!!!
EllieAnne- ice skating is a great sport to take part in. It’s difficult and takes courage to do what your GD does. She did well considering she wasn’t feeling so good. She will have been pleased to see you both there .
HVDY- yes every visit we make we learn more about the horrors of Alzheimer’s. My friends SiL says she takes it out on her DH as your SiL did.
You too having a pub meal- it’s so nice not having to cook isn’t it. There were 10 of us so it’s a bit chaotic but those times are so special.
My GD3 little kitty is settling in well. She saw another cat out of the window the other day and she went all fuzzy and fluffed up like a big cat.
That was a marathon phone chat- it’s amazing how quickly the time goes though isn’t it.
SweetPeaSue- I hope you feel better today. You have so much to put up with. Hoping Fluffball worked her magic and took you to the beach again.
Wyllow- Good to,have a peaceful place to think things over. A friendship between you and Mr Costa is a gift- but anything more presents problems that are not impossible but can’t be ignored. My DH is younger than me and it worried me at first- just play it by ear.
Candy,Allsorts,Nadateturbe,the Nanny’s ,Whiff and all who come here wishing you a peaceful evening

I’m sitting in Costa and have spent a fab 49 minutes with a little girl called Robin and her teacher mum, showing pix, Robin telling me how she thought about starting school and water… what a treat ♥️ I needed my big cup of coconut latte because I did my first decent swim for ages… it was quiet for backstroke and the sauna the usual fascinating multi cultural.

I got talking to another women in there rather loudly and we ended up somehow talking about self defense (how too). When she left there was a stunned silence from the remaining men 🤣.

Have a lovely time with Sis, Sweetpeasue. Are you on a knitting project atm?. I’d take your plums….i like them stewed till they are sort of semi jam.

Thank you for the back story, HVDY about your skin. I’m glad it didn’t go on .. I’d assumed once you had it, it was for good.

What you say, about learning g to enjoy being on your own is my task. Of course you see I have the gym which is long term and coming to Costa long before the current situation was a deliberate decision… I have my mobile, music: there are quite a lot of ‘singles especially the weekend: get to know the staff, probably each other…

MrC is 57 and looks 65, the long time in extreme pain writ large. I am 74 and look 65. It’s 48 years of Yoga and generally exercising a lot often in the fresh air and vv good skin care for the last 14 or so. So it’s 17 years.

Quakers was profoundly good: the young couple from last week came back: a couple I’ve known awhile who both used to work in MH are back: I ministered today…. Corinthians 13:1 (if you google it you’ll see why) and as ever good chats, it at the stage yet where no one is yet ‘friend’ but on the way there.

I bought a meal deal for an alcoholic bloke when I went to a little Sainsbugs. It was something about his eyes. They weren’t hardened or manipulative eyes. Alive and sad and a bit scared.

Yes Scaredycat funny how that babe in arms suddenly is wearing a bit of make up… . I liked your kitty descriptions… if I was staying in my house I would certainly get a baby girl tiger for talking and lap warming. How much younger is Mrs? I was 9yrs older than Ex.

They are going to be chucking me out of Costa soon it’s 6 on a Sunday and is turning chilly. I might treat myself to the heating on at home.

Laters

SweetpeaSue Nice to meet at the pub - will you have a meal, or just a drink and chat? You'll be doing a lot of knitting, then.
ScaredyCat Don't they grow up quickly? Your GD's cat sounds so cute. Does he like to watch the birds?

Wyllow3 You chat with a lot of people now - what a change from the Wyllow3 a couple of months ago. I still have Rosacea - the flushing increases a lot when I'm warm - heating, sun, hot water, spicy food (yes, curries), and when it's windy, or when I feel stressed. I choose not to have any treatment, and I know the triggers, also what cosmetics to use/avoid. Kind of you to get that man something to eat. If you look 65 and Mr Costa does, too, you won't look as though there's an age difference. My Son2 used to be with a woman 27 years older than him - he was 23, she 50, when they got together. They were in a relationship for 8 years (got a house together), but then he realised the age gap was too great (she's 2 years older than I am). Mr Costa, though, is a middle-aged man, so has lived a bit.

A boring day. Must go out tomorrow. Hope everyone's been ok x

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202508/medium-1b45a7-1000012039.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202508/medium-5m400n-1000012041.jpg

Scardycat My DGD is 14 and she's now liking her nails to be done and make -up. I suppose time is always ticking but it seems to go so fast when we look at our grandchildren. I hate the way young girls feel they need all this stuff to be accepted , they are so vulnerable but I guess we were the same but we forget.
We have Fluffball Wednesday and Friday now but son is back on Tuesday.
Wyllow There was 19 yrs difference between my mum and dad. I don't think it was a great problem but my mum was quite young when he died at 56. She married again later. Sounds like you meet so many people in Costa. We've found there are always 'regulars' but what a lot of different characters.
Yes, still knitting baby wear.
We have a plum tree where the plums are hanging heavily like bunches of grapes. Given loads away to neighbours and losing lots to the wind. It's quite difficult picking them off high branches.
They are delicious and sweet Victoria ones. Will send a pic.

Ellie Anne I didn’t realise your DGD was a figure skater. I can understand how you get scared at times. Our grandson also spent years ice skating. He was good but his speed and turns scared me too. Glad she did well even though not on top form.
HvDY I’ve always said your DGDs are lucky to have you and now reading about the other grandparents I feel that even more. How can you be uninterested in your grandchildren.
A caravan is the perfect place for kids in the summer holidays. Fancy them not taking them there.
Sweetpeasue a fair swap. Plumbs for wool.Hope you’ve been feeling a bit better today.
Scaredycat funny when the young ones grow up isn’t it. Particularly it’s girls it’s noticeable with the make up and nails,
I am very lucky with the friends I’ve made. People from my art class, from church.from my walking group, sit fit and others that I’ve met through friends. It is nice to have so many people to meet up with. It helps being occupied.
Glad the new kitten is settling in well.
* Wyllow* glad you had a good chat with people today. Costas a good place to go to sit and maybe meet people. It’s good to be out of the house having conversation with others.
I had a nice morning in church then went to lunch with a friend. Spent the afternoon at home drawing.

HVDY Sundays can be quiet and lonely days I think, though I know you sometimes meet up with family. I didn't expect the text from sis but she'd texted before about this wool.Her partner's mum who is in a care- home is old and frail and losing her memory. S
Her son found she had huge stocks of wool ( I mean rooms piled high with completely unbroken wool balls) I now feel like I * have* to use it. It started like ' I'll knit some baby cardis , now I feel like it's wrong to let it go to waste. I'm not a ' do gooder' and have never been involved with charities , it's just strange that I knit this old lady a doll and then I get all this wool. I know it's daft but I wonder if I got it for a reason. Then came across this local Ukraine Supporters thing. I've not knit for about 40 yrs before this. Tbh it's taking my mind off DHs situation too.
We had a meal out - now I'm too full. I had a Turkey dinner with stuffing and roast pots, veg. It was nice though and caught up with sis .
Hope everyone is ok.xx

Doodle Glad you had a nice morning at church and with friends. You have made a lot of effort to get out and join things so I'm so glad you've been rewarded with some good friends. None of it can have been easy. I too do everything with my DH and we go out together always. I don't think I'd make friends easily as I don't go out alone but I think I'd be too quiet and find it difficult to start up conversations. I guess we never know what we are capable of until we need to try.
Hope the drawing is going well. It's great to try and copy things, DH likes to do that. Sleep well.

Been catching up on all your posts, most of you so busy despite
your difficulties.
Doodle its extra hard when you lose your husband who is your best friend.💐

Just popping in to say thanks for kind messages. I do hope to catch up soon.
Hoping for energy to visit DB tomorrow. Its an hours drive each way.
Thinking of you all.xx

pivotfaan I have gone onto your recommended site and it says and I quote

“The Beacons Store has made it seamless for me to monetize and boosted my brand visibility.”
It is a marketing site, and I've left it to the moderators to decide if its appropriate here.

________________________________________

It's getting dark earlier, isnt it - it takes some getting used to. I am generally afriad oft he dark and will work out ways to go for "cosy indoors" instead.

Wyllow It is darker much earlier and I hate it too.
Yes ,looks like pivotfaan has been doing the rounds on GN.I reported earlier. Sad isn't it?

ScaredyCat My GD1 is 14 and uses cleansers, moisturisers, lip gloss and mascara. She likes wearing acrylic nails for special occasions. I must say, I was the same at that age (although there wasn't such a huge range of products then).
SweetpeaSue What a lot of plums. Will you make a crumble or something? Your son's MIL must have been a hoarder! You're doing something very kind and charitable, knitting all those things for good causes. Your dinner sounds delicious. We had a Tesco's Finest steak pie with mash and veg.
Doodle My GD's other grandparents are big drinkers (all the family are). They didn't intend having GD1 all week, just a couple of days - but the mother refused to go and pick her up (she's been off work all the school holidays) as promised. GD1 will have enjoyed the holiday, though. Glad you had a nice day.
nadateturbe Hope the visit to your brother goes well. Take care.
pivotfan Not sure what the link is about (it looks like a subscription of some kind).

I suggest for now "waking on by" until the moderators decide, HVDY

Me and make up - a brief teenage following of "Jackie" magazine, where Twiggy put her base on then carefully painted freckles on her nose. I tried, and it just produced howls of laughter from my siblings - DocSis claims she was not the ringleader, but she almost certainly was 🤣

Sisters, I rubbed them off.

Nadateturbe Oh I too hope your day tomorrow goes well with that drive to see your DB. Take care of yourself.x
HVDY I've been splitting plums and storing them with some sugar in freezer bags. Not sure if they'll keep like that.
Your poor GD - so good she has yourself and your DS.

Wyllow3 Has the post from Pivotfan been taken off? I can't see it now. About you painting freckles on....I'm fair-skinned and freckly. As I child, I hated having a graceful of them. I've worn make-up all my adult life but my arms and legs are covered in freckles. Son1 is the same (with black hair and a ginger beard).

Sweetpeasue The plums sound good. I think they'll be fine like that. I haven't had a reply to any texts to GD1 since Wednesday but she's ok, apparently.

Had a rotten night....DH "forgot" to turn his machine on, so I had 2 hours awake with his noise , whilst he slept soundly. Up 4 times for a wee, too, so I'm tired. No LG - they've all gone out for the day. Back later x