BLACK DOG 26

Sweetpeasue Thanks for your kind words.
I like Marks and Spencers haddock mornay too. When you said ready-meals I thought you meant the Italian meals which we sometimes get to share and add vegetables to which makes it a little healthier. (not really -we're fooling ourselves!)
It's a pity your husband doesn't like his feet being touched either, massage is very relaxing, and helps stress. I have no idea what Booths plum bread is, it's maybe something we don't get in Northern Ireland, but it sounds nice.
Sweetpeasue I am so sorry the S appointment didn't work out right. Just so so exasperating. No wonder you were sick. It seems to be a never-ending struggle to get anywhere with a diagnosis of what's causing his problems, chest pain is worrying too. I will keep praying for him. I hope you manage to enjoy your break and come back with energy to get answers from the GP. Even getting out for a little while, like this morning. I can't believe how much rain you have had! I hope tomorrow is better and you can sit outside. The sunset was beautiful.

HVDY glad your dizziness is easing, and BP lower . fingers crossed it continues. My DH is on meds for his BP, and it's similar to yours and GP is happy with it.
I hope everyone is ok. I haven't forgotten anyone. My eyes/energy have reached have reached their limits. Will talk tomorrow.
Goodnight to all BDs. sleep well.

excuse typos!

What a sky to be welcomed with, Sweetpeasue - fab picture - amazing sky.

Yes, Scardeycat, today’s far more relaxed approach to the day shows the difference it made vis a vis Ex..

I had forgotten Quakers had a business meeting today after a shortened MfW, but in fact it has updated me on what’s going on generally and very valuable.

Such loving familiar faces - three more today to greet. On bloke didn’t recognise me I look so different - I had a short hair cut and was gym skinny, now I have a longer softer look (natural curls) and am lets say more er..comfy looking.

Then I went to the gym, more natters and a lovely shower (my home cubicle is very small) and it’s a better shower all round - luxury. By the time I’d finished pampering and of course nattering I’d spent 1 hour exercising and 1.5 hours on everything else .

Then I went to Halfords as I decided I need to upgrade my bike - the current one is oh so comfy..but oh so heavy, I wasn't using it, and by splashing out on a superior metal I can have a bike I can lift (ie onto a low car carrier).

Then Sainsbugs where not only did I sweet-talk them into using the staff loo but treats accidentally dropped into my trolley…

And then a Docsis natter.

A bad day always in the past to date, has followed a very good one, so I Am On Alert

How was your day Scaredycat - I guess you are just getting by, what with the appointment coming up. Is it Tuesday? I cant recall.

I promise hand on heart to try a fish finger sandwich, nadateturbe.
Yes you are right about life there. As we get older I think we have more to deal with in that way too, but I would not like to be young again..
I’m glad the caravan is relaxing - its it by the sea? As for spelling gaffs -have you read some bits in my “essays”

Lovely post to Doodle, I echo what you said.

Mrs NDN cooks a “proper Yorkshire Dinner” dinner (thats lunch to others)…. and the cooking smells waft over my way. I don’t know how they can eat that in hot weather, but its nice..(now is it pork or beef I ask myself...will there be "Yorkshires")

Little L is my extremely disabled granddaughter. Learning difficulties, hardly any sight, cerebral palsy, epilepsy. Oxygen deprivation at birth, and a major epileptic attack during Covid which took her sight.

Now stabilised, she is a bright, happy, sometimes very difficult child of 11, but the blessing is her sight is OK at about 6 inches away, which means fun and enjoyment from a big tablet she can see and singalong with. I’ll probably spend time with her and son, on holiday, as they have to split activities up as the other children of course can do more things.

Like the idea of cake in a cup, HVDY. I thought of you in Sainsbury’s, as I had a longing for a Korma Curry and they do a good one. Yes, it’s rained heavily here, very welcome, the grass is beginning to look happy again. And of course it brings the slugs out, but you can’t have everything…

That was some shower, Sweeetpeasue, as you drove. Phew. Yes, “my old mans a dustman” is tops, isn’t it.
I do hope however the weather clears up for you to sit outside.

Smiled at the full English - we all have to break a rule of two sometimes, did he regret it after? Its sounds like yo are one to be able to relax a while, I do hope so. It’s a shame DH won’t go for a feet massage, not even if you do it? Feet are full of nerve endings that actually can promote healing. I was thinking today, 'At least *Swetpeasue has met one consultant who is kind and trust worthy (your ME/CFS one). the trust you lost after vv bad experiences when I first met you will be hard to repair.

I thought you might be utterly wrung out, Doodle. I expect you helped it all go well..but well, I hope it gives you a good sleep.

Maybe a U tube, but if not, then goodnight all BD's, posting, or reading.

SweetpeaSue Swiss rolls are tricky to make. Mind you, I was hopeless at cooking at school (not a lot better now), and for the last 2 years of school did shorthand and typing instead of cookery and needlework (I was rubbish at that, too). Headbumps with cats are where they nudge a person's head with their head (Jaffa doesn't do it, it all my other cats did). Hope you and your husband are managing to relax and not worry about things. I hope the weather improves for you.

Doodle You had a long and busy day. Hope you rested well last night. Hope you have a good, but more relaxed day, today.

Wyllow3 Oh, your GD sounds like my nephew's girl - she's 15, a twin, and was starved of Oxygen at birth (twin perfectly ok). She can't speak, sit, or swallow (PEG fed) but is always grinning and laughing. I'm glad your GD can at least enjoy things on her tablet. Korma, you say?? That's baby food! Anything less than a Rogan Josh isn't a proper curry . Little Girl likes Tikka Masala, apparently.

Fed Son2's cats at 6.30. They're back this evening. It's foggy out, but 2 miles away at Son2's, it's sunny. My BP is all over the place - 179/91, 148/101! I'll see what the nurse says on Friday, but I expect she'll increase the dosage. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Hi all
Nadateturbe- I only have my steering wheel heat on in the winter- it’s toasty.
Going for my eyelid on Wednesday- quick isn’t it.
I thought you expressed yourself very well to Doodle- we cannot change the past and we all do the best we can at any given time.
HVDY- that woman has done a lot of damage - she’s not fit to be a Mum.
Like the sound of a mug cake Will have to have a go at one.
Your nephews little girl has much to contend with - she’s sounds a happy little soul. Mist be very hard for her twin.
That was an early cat visit- talking to GD3 yesterday they may get a cat very soon. She’s missing DD cats now she’s moved out.
Yes that’s erratic BP- wonder of the dizziness is connected. Hope the nurse sorts it out on Friday.
SweetPeaSue- HVDY explained head bumps perfectly - it’s lovely when they do them.
Sorry it’s raining - not uncommon in the Lakes is it.
Glad DH enjoyed his brekkie- what did you have? It,ll do him good to have some short strolls- at least it’s flat around the Lakesides and places to sit as well. Hope the Sun comes out soon.
Doodle.- It must have been a lovely day for you yesterday despite being so tiring. Hope you had a good sleep and felt content after a successful day.
Wyllow- what a difference a day makes.Being able to go to Quakers and see your friends then getting some bits and bobs done without those worrying thoughts to spoil it must have felt good.
We still have our bikes - but the roads are too scary now . They were good ones too- Specialised.
Had a nice day thanks . Long chat with Sis and then a walk and coffee and cake with DD and GD3 who came over as her partner was playing Cricket. DH was at Golf.
Korma is our fave too- sorry we’re lightweights as well HVDY!!
EllieAnne- how are you today?

Love to all - old and new friends.

ScaredyCat The dizziness and headaches seem to have stopped, for now, anyway. I'm on the lowest dose of Ramipril, 2.5mg, so that will surely be increased - this is the 5th BP pill I've been on (all stopped by different GPs due to side-effects). Nice that you had a long chat with your sister. Will your GD get a rescue cat? There are so many needing good homes.

How's everyone been? I put 2 loads of washing out on the line, then we had a massive thunderstorm (so loud, it woke poor Jaffa who was cosy on the pouffe), so it's wetter than when it went out. x

nadateturbe thank you. Yes I know DH appreciated my care. He was a very gentle caring man. Thank you for your thoughts,
HVDY like you I wasn’t much good at cooking at school and not much better now. I was a bit better at needlework but not very talented. My DH had a lot of problems with high BP and the various tablets they tried him on. He once went to a specialist consultant in Hypertension. She was very high up and h like a character from Downton Abbey but very good at the job and she did help him.
Scaredycat glad your eyelid is being seen so soon. Hope they can make it better.
Yes, yesterday was a lovely day but so tiring. Glad you had a nice chat with your sister and met up with your DD and DgD
Sweetpeasue lovely photo you posted. Hope all is going well.
Thinking of you Ellie Anne

HVDY, I think, only with the help of her family, L is maybe in a better situation. She loves eating, speaking, crawling around in her own way, loves water despite sight loss, will sit and concentrate a foot away from the TV, or 6 inches from her tablet.

Now…. curries I like - Korma, Balti, at a push, Rogan whatsit.
Stong curries would probably send me to the loo constantly ....maybe worth a try .

Foggy out? Not here... I had sun for the first bit of the day, which was great as it allowed me and carer - we only had an hour - to take a load of returns to the PO...
...Then, us needing to natter about a bloke I was seeing soon, (was he a possibility or not) she borrowed 15 mins so we could go opposite to the artisan bakery for delish Danish and latte.

It stared raining a while after I got home, a good steady rain just what's needed despite yet more claims there would be thunderstorms. Before it rained I crammed garden waste into the black bin in a hurry just in time.

Pah! You got the thunderstorm.

Apart fro today’s pre-occupation, and detailed preparation for seeing the Psychiatrist tomorrow, I have been doing some practical things, a necessary balance.

That is a strange time with your BP HVDY - does it alter with emotions, do you think?

I await the results of the Mug Cake, Scaredycat. (Are we mugs (or muggles?) No!

Yes, you are right about the lakes and rain, Sweetpeasue. I remember them well, sweeping across from the SW, trying to avoid Striding Edge if it was slippery rain, as a bold youf.

It does sound like the holiday might help, early days.. I hope for this for you so much.

Well, yes, the follow up today with the Quaker bloke this evening at mine helped me decide if he could be someone to have a relationship or not, and it was a not - he is, sadly, too old, beginning to fail: we have a meeting of word and feelings about nearly everything, very rare - but not sexual.
I was relieved in the end, great evening: but, I have acquired a lovely older brother not a new partner.

So good to hear that you had a nice day Scardeycat. Your family is wonderful, you treasure them, and them, you. Out of grief, you have built a closeness.

Is it tomorrow, your appointment?

Now, Korma (or is it Karma) - it was the first curry I ever tasted and has remained a favourite.

Yes, I’m wondering so much how Ellie Ann is doing: warmest thoughts if you are following Black Dogs, whilst away.

That interesting, Doodle, that it was an expert in hypertension that helped your DH: I wonder if thats useful for Sweetpeasue?
I do hope your day has been manageable xx

I’m listening to classic FM pondering things both detailed and big.

Biggest happy thing is that I am ordering a new bike tomorrow. 😊 I’ve cycled all my life, it is indeed “time to get back on my bike”, symbolising so much atm.

Its like my old bike, but lightweight for lifting and allowing me to cycle up hills, and put on a car bike carrier.

Events are moving too fast atm, but it's like surfing, I can manage it as long as I keep stick to the small waves.
.
Yes I still do too much but more discerning.

It was sad to see the Quaker I met today failing at 86, still cycling. travelling everywhere - but now needing assistance of all kinds.

Despite my many difficulties, (he had had no idea, how deep - I hid it so well):
I'm coping far better than him, so sad.

Night night to all BD’s, reading, or posting. I must think of a U tube.

Here is tonights "best choice" song - lyrics are up on the screen:

Coldplay - Fix You

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LNNEu45NQA&list=RD3LNNEu45NQA&start_radio=1

Thank you all for asking.
My close friend( the one with the difficult family) died at 3 o clock this morning.
I can never cry but feel I have a huge gap in my life.

I'm so very, very sorry, Ellie Anne.
I can understand the not crying, it has been that way for me until recently, but of course you feel her loss deep in your heart.
When my mum died, what I did was have a little ceremony. I lit a candle (think an incense stick too) and just sat and brought her life to my mind.
Its just your way to grieve, nothing wrong with you xx

Oh Ellie Anne I’m so sorry. How sad for you. You were a good and caring support to her and she was lucky to have you as her friend. Of course you will miss her so much.
Sending hugs and love xx

I too am so terribly sorry EllieAnne .
You will miss her so much as she was such a good friend ,and you were to her.
You grieve how you want or need to ,no wrong or right. Sincere condolences and take care of yourself. Xx

So sorry EllieAnne. This is really sad for you. Sending love and hugs.x

Hi all
HVDY- yes GD will get a rescue cat as will we . There are so many as you say. My Sis said her local shelter had doubled from 50 to nearly 100 little cats in a very short time.
Glad the dizziness etc has gone away . I take Amlodipine for my BP .
We chanced it yesterday with the washing and got away with it. So far no thunder either. It’s hacking it down this afternoon though and very black.
Doodle- you were a wonderful wife to your DH and he a very special husband - one in a million I think.
Yes I,m thankful for the quick appointment for my eyelid. It’s not far away either.
Church for you tomorrow- it comes round quickly doesn’t it.
Wyllow- nice you found a friend at Quakers and a kindred spirit too. Better perhaps at the moment than the complications of a new partner.
Thank you - our family is everything to me - there’s lots of them and we love them all dearly. Your little L will be so happy to see you- she sounds as if she enjoys her life to the best of her
ability.
Wow cycling up hills- I had to get off and push uphills. Enjoy your new bike and be careful.
Yes your days have certainly picked up speed-you’re not ready for those big waves yet and good to hear your appreciation of that.
EllieAnne- oh how sad for you- you were such a good friend to her. It must have helped her deal with her trials. Real friends take up a huge space in our hearts and you must feel so empty. Not being able to cry hurts physically doesn’t it . But you’re crying inside . Sending comforting hugs.
SweetPeaSue- hope the holiday is lifting your spirits.

Love to all - present and not.

Please to see the thread still going and helping people .

EllieAnne So sorry to hear that. You were a very kind friend to her and will miss her company.

Wyllow3 It sounds as though your GD enjoys her life, despite her limitations. She can make herself known and enjoy food and family life, it seems, which is good. Nice that you've made a Quaker friend, a brother of sorts. You're really going for it now - cycling uphill and all sorts! The man of 86 must be very fit if he can still ride a bike. My BP is erratic, but I've always been sitting quietly when taking it.

Doodle My husband's sister's BP is, and has been for years, consistently high (200/100 type of figures). She's had LOTS of tablets, none worked. The hospital says her adrenal glands are the problem, so she's on a waiting list to have one surgically removed. How's your day been?

ScaredyCat I was on Amlodipine when I was in hospital, then my GP stopped it due to very swollen feet and lower legs. I've had Lercanidipine (that caused the Vasculitis), Doxyzosin, Ramipril (now taking it again), and Losartan. It's been good weather here today - warm, muggy and a bit of a breeze, a shower this morning. Have you been out?

Whiff How are you?

Had a busy day - Little Girl here at 7.30, then we collected GD1, went to a softplay place. Pub lunch, then park, then back here for a play. LG went at 5. GD1 went at 7. DH out with Son1, so it's nice and quiet. Hope everyone has been ok x

Hi all, it’s been a long, long time but I’ve read from the start of this thread as a catch up. My problem is, although I lead a busy life as you all know, because of my almost constant fatigue, if I need to do anything constructive, I have to get it done in the morning as I’m just too lethargic afterwards (I’ve had a 2 hour sleep this afternoon though as I’m away in my caravan). I’ve booked an appointment to see my GP for next week as I’m currently suspecting sleep apnea. My brother has it and reading the symptoms, it’s a possibility. I’m embarrassed by my snoring but I’m afraid I do - a lot. I wake up not feeling very refreshed and get tired quickly. I suspected this months and months ago and saw a GP then but she was very dismissive. I know I’m seeing a better GP this time so fingers crossed. Anyway enough about me.
Ellie Anne I’m so sorry about your friend. It must have been a shock for you. I read you were staying at your daughters so are alone? Is there anyone you could talk to about the loss like another mutual friend? Please don’t be sad alone, share on here. I am going to try and come in more often. Sending you a big hug.
HVDY I’m glad your dizziness has gone. I suffer from vertigo from time to time and it’s very disorienting. Your GD sounds like she’s having a difficult time. Teenagers can be so challenging but when they face challenges at home too, then it’s all compounded. I have a teenager in my family experiencing difficulties too. Is there anyone in her school that could provide some support? Or at least guide her to some support services. Her mother sounds awful and it must be hard for you and your family who are obviously loving caring parents to experience this. Sending you a hug too. I’ll bet LG is coming on lovely now.
Wyllow as I caught up on your posts, I thought “the old Wyllow is back” (not meaning “old” literally!). You do seem to be doing a lot more and glad you’re back at the gym and Quakers. Lovely to see. Hope your day has been a good one.
Sweetpeasue so sorry that you are still experiencing issues with appointments for your DH. It must be extremely frustrating for you. Hope it gets sorted soon.
Scareycat I’m sorry you are having problems with your eyelid. I do hope it gets sorted. Try not to worry but easier said than done I know!
Doodle sorry you are still experiencing so much sadness but you do seem to have some good friends and of course your family. I wish there was an easier way for you but you are doing everything you can. I hope you do experience some pleasure in the things you are doing.
Nadaterturbe good to hear from you. I see you are still experiencing tiredness but I hope you are managing to do some nice things too. Are you spending time in your caravan?
Whiff good to hear from you. Hope you are ok.
Flippinheck welcome to you. I hope you are able to glean some support from this lovely group.

Hope everyone has a lovely evening.

Whiff Hello ,hope you're OK.
Doodle Thinking of you quite a bit and sending love though I realise it can't help your broken heart. x
Scaredycat Glad it won't be long before you get that eyelid seen and diagnosed. Your cat will have lots of love, I know.
Wyllow You are doing so .much and it's so good to see you happier. Your new bike is great idea ,you deserve the best. Nice to hear about the friendships , renewed at Quakers and your continued gym ones. Hope it goes well tomorrow with your psychiatrist.
HVDY Busy day today with Littlegirl. Time to 'chill' as my sons call it. Hope you get your BP sorted - there are so many different BP meds.

Continual rain stopped yesterday and went down to get a boat out on Windermere. Alas ,after waiting in queue we were told we'd have to wait another 25 mins so we walked back up Rd to Costa's and DH took his spray , it was very warm.
Spent truly lovely evening on chairs in garden ,moving around for different views in the shade and enjoying sharing the beauty. It's lovely place .
Toasted Bryson's plum bread this morning then back to have a small walk down path from house. Got to marker that said half mile then turned back so walked a mile. I had extreme tiredness so slept for over an hr when we returned.
Think we're just beginning to relax a bit now. Weather seems more settled.
Thinking of you all. xx

Scaredycat thank you for your kind words, yes church tomorrow. I really love out Wednesday service. Nice people to sit and chat with after. Family is every thing to me too.
Hope you get your eyelid treated soon.
Hi * Whiff* nice to hear from you hope you’re ok.
HVDY I’ve never heard of that before. Do they think removing the glands will help her? What a lovely day you’ve had with the two girls. Hope they both enjoyed it.
Candy I certainly do have some fun and happiness in my life thank you. I don’t have the contentment or joy I had with Dh but I can still enjoy being with people and doing things. I think acceptance is a key thing. Accepting your life has changed and wiping the best you can with what’s left. I am grateful for the time Dh and I had together. He was (and is in my heart) a very special person.
I wonder if you need a CPAP machine . I hear that can help a lot with sleep apnea.
Sweetpeasue hope you are having a relaxing time

Wyllow how has today been? Hope everything is going well

You are going to to have a really hard job choosing, Scaredycat. If I wasn’t planning to move to a flat, I’d be there choosing too. You have build that loving family, always there for each other.

Spot on re “new friend not partner”. Btw -he accidentally called me today and we just had a nice relaxed chat. So having acquired a new nephew recently:

So I now have a big brother who is a Quaker. He really is forgetful now (looking at sheltered accommodation) but slow and laughs and forgetting are spot on for me atm.

He is fit, HVDY, but bless is now taking risks I think. Losing purses, forgetting who he’s off to see because he gets waylaid by natters. He’s had a very long and very fruitful life, a truly good man: he regrets nothing but is OK for it to draw to a close when the time comes.
Bike wise - before this depression I was regularly cycling 16 or 18km, I just need to get fit enough again. It’s only cos I cycled all my life it’s not a challenge.

I love hearing what you and LittleGirl and you get up to, and you are being quietly supportive t GD1, well done you.

You’ll love what I found in a charity shop today , see the pic

It’s been cool and sun in and out…. just right really for getting things done. And it’s now carrying on like that, tomorrow is another 18 - 20 degrees day. ☺️ I’m going to keep her - Agatha the Croc - 20 ins long, and little L can look forward to seeing her.

A warm wave back at you, Whiff.

Today I made a right mess up but it all turned out well. Psychiatrist appointment at 2pm

- I’d got up very late as made a night of it till the dawn, never done that before but aa once off: going to my attic, sorting out all my bits and bobs of bedding, cushion covers, washing them, you name it, a pleasure to get orderly in a housewifely way and discard things.

Got to the M Health place and found I was a day early 😂
But had plans - I actually have bought the bike, and ordered a tow-bar (they come and fit it at home) so I can have a bike carrier. Best of all, you know the bobble on the tow bar that makes parking dodgy? Well these days they have removable ones. Charity shop, Timpsons for some really nice but old leather shoes to be stretched, and a Sainsbugs visit with all the bits on bobs I need to continue cooking properly.

I came home and after writing a letter briefing for tomorrow’s appointment a feeling of tired contentment has settled on me.
It is wonderful to feel it, I think all my sorting is leading me back into some serious sewing .

Candy I’m not at my daughters yet. I’m hoping goingthere will not clash with the funeral.
My friend s daughter phoned this afternoon. She was needing someone to talk to.
I haven’t said anything to dh. He doesn’t know my friend and would have no understanding of a family with these sort of
Problems. ( drugs crime etc) . Not my lovely friend but her fostered then adopted children.
If he knew some of the situations I’ve been in he wouldn’t understand.
Thank you for caring.
Nice to see you Whiff.