BLACK DOG 26

In her view, crocs should be scary. You need someone to ward off baddies.

Yes Wyllow I have been to saltaire. Really enjoyed it.
My friends daughter has asked me if I would do a reading at the funeral.
I’ve said I can’t. I have never been an up front person and would be a wreck.
She was ok about it.
I’ve got my 12 year old gd staying over tonight . Her mum is at a camp With other gd and son is away to work at 4 am.
I don’t know how to amuse her. It was easier when she was little.

Hi all
Doodle- It’s a lovely slow,quiet part of the country- so nice to hear the local accent in the background. Nice day today at next little seaside town then back and walked on the Beach that my Dad and I loved the best . He gave me my love of walking and the beach.
So glad you have the hospice - toasted tea cakes are proper comfort food aren’t they.
HVDY- so far so good with the weather- like the song “I do like to be by the seaside”😀
I feel sad for your brother but he,s almost impossible to cheer up it seems.
Be careful moving furniture- you earnt your little kip.
Wyllow- so nice you are now enjoying Sundays- often difficult before. Such a sensible talking to you gave yourself- never apologise for your obviously bright mind .
I thought of you today as I walked in the sea- water is so healing. The reservoirs in the Peaks are lovely when they are full aren’t they.
Glad you talked with your Sis re your Ex. Take it carefully and don’t open yourself up to hurt.
Your DGD will love her Croc friend- no baddies will get past him.
SweetPeaSue,EllieAnne,Nadateturbe,Candy6, and all BDs old and new hope tonight is a peaceful one for you allxx

Wyllow3 Well done on giving yourself a talking-to. Sundays are good for you now. That's great to hear. Your GD will love that croc.

EllieAnne I don't blame you for not wanting to get up and speak like that. I'm the same - it would be my worst nightmare to have to speak in front of people. Perhaps you could write something for someone else to read? They're hard to entertain at that age, aren't they? Will she be with you all day tomorrow? How about baking/cinema/swimming/table tennis/crazy golf? If just tonight, baking or a film?

ScaredyCat Was the weather good there today? It's been very nice here. I haven't walked on a beach for a couple of years, at least. Sea air is so good and helps with sleep.

How's everyone else been? LG was here, 8 until 5. Playgroups are all closed for summer, so we went to a soft play place, then home for lunch. She fell asleep (she never does that in our house) for 2 hours! A nice, easy day with her. x

hVDY that’s a long day with LG and trying to keep her occupied. She’s obviously very happy being with you. I used to love having our grandchildren over.
Such a shame about your brother but you’ve done what you can.
Ellie Anne I used to make camps for our grandchildren to sit and watch a film. Let them make their own ice cream cups with sprinkles and stuff on. Played card games. Made some craft things. Hope you have a nice time together.
Scaredycat that sounds like a lovely day. I used to go to rock pools on holiday with my dad and we’d spent hours just poking around on the beach to see what we could find.
Wyllow that’s a fearsome looking creature. I bet you DGD loves it.
Sweetpeasue thinking of you and hoping you’re both ok, xx

We’ve baked a cake, played two games and done a jigsaw.
She’s now in bed playing with yher phone.
Dh will take her home tomorrow and stay with her till dad gets home. And I will hopefully get a few hours to myself. My head is. Still muddled with everything that has been going on,

Sounds lovely Ellie Anne. A nice evening for her to remember.

I once did give a Eulogy for a very dear Quaker friend, Ellie Anne. But I was well placed to do it, had access to a close neighbour, Quaker friends, and the vicar who was running the service at the local C of E church as she wanted to be buried with her husband. Lots of support, but it was one of the most difficult things ever done, but I was honoured and it expressed my love for her

- but got in the way of actually grieving until a kind Quaker said afterwards how well I had done it...then later I got very drunk at a Party and cried like mad and the wretched Labour Party head od Derbyshire called SSD out to see me as I had complained mildly about her care. (the swine).

*I don't think you are in anything like the same position, maybe it could be her family? I think a compassionate "No - its simply not something I gee I can cope with, much as it is needful" may be a good answer*".

Instead, as Doodle says, you have remembered her in a much more heartfelt and real way xx

That beach is full of beauty and memories, Scaredycat.
A good place to stroll and ponder deeply and reflect and "process". Take me with you - I love to be by the sea and hear strong local accents and see if I can "communicate"

Yes, the Ladybower Reservoirs are on my "to cycle round" list - a whole lot of choices, and you see far more than you can walk.
Stunning views as a bike (or a strong walker) can go far, far into the hills where no car can go - but there are spots where you can park your car and just take it in if your mobility is limited.

all being well, I should have the bike and carrier all sorted out by Friday.

HVDY, I knew you'd love the croc stuff 😊.

Thats a nice easygoing day with Littlegirl - soft play centres are marvellous, aren't they? We didn't have them for our kids but for a wet day (or a nice one) they are superb and very good for them physically and fun.

Yes, thank you, I'm slowly piling on less as "ends get tied up" of things I've begun. I am now planning ahead and limiting or postponing events to slow things down, but so** law is operating on my TV and Sky in the cannot evade list.

Doodle I'm with you wondering how Sweetpeasue is; and of course, hoping that today was one where your mind was not over troubled x

I had a decent 1.5 hours sleep this afternoon, so functioning better all round as when I can do it;

today's thing for the day is a "study at twilight" - a photo in the kitchen as that crucial point where exterior and interior are evenly balanced. Use to take a lot of those, fascinated by this crucial point.

Loss and redemption

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HneFCDaeQNY&list=PLyOD0lTWtynO0uHd4y75cOcm8-YsoTcjP&index=5

Thanks for your thoughts. Felt too miserable yesterday to come in. Bad night and early morning 'words' with DH. ( He's quiet and doesn't like rocking the boat - GP surgery)
Hope to see GP head of surgery - she's on Friday .

EllieAnne Nice evening with your DGD there. I can quite understand about the Eulogy being too much.
HVDY Glad Littlegirl had a nice sleep at yours. It'll be difficult now playgroups shut for summer.
Wyllow You are doing so much - I don't think I know this new Wyllow. It's so good you are so enthusiastic. Oh no TV playing up again.
Scaredycat Sounds like you're loving the time away with great beach walking and dipping your toes into the water.
Doodle Thankyou. Things will improve ,hopefully , once seen new GP.
Hope you have company today.
Nadateturbe Thinking of you and sending love too.

Hope everyone has a decent day.
Our wedding anniversary today. Just going out for lunch.

Wyllow3 Is that you in the photo? Your hair looks lovely. Hope you get Sky/TV sorted out soon. Great song. I know "One More Light", I love Linkin Park.

SweetpeaSue Happy anniversary. How many years? It's mad how the time goes, isn't it? Was it a bad night for you or your husband? Hope "your" GP will be helpful on Friday.

Did aqua aerobics with my friend, then we went for brunch. DH meant to have been stripping wallpaper from one wall in bedroom2 - got in to find him moaning about the wallpaper steamer thing being broken (plasterer here in one week and he's only just discovered the steamer situation). I'm not getting involved........... Hope ALL BDers are ok x

HVDY It's 43 yrs- yes crazy.
Myself bad other night. Woke up to feeling like half a dozen birds scrambling to get out of chest and couldn't settle for worry - hence trying to talk to DH , wrong time I know.
Oh heck, hope your DH gets the steamer sorted out. They're so much easier than stripping by hand. Haha no, keep out of it.

Yes, its me, HVDY..I looked at the French windows, and thought, Yes! the cusp between dark and light, full of symbolism.

Aw, Sweetpeasue
my lovely, you have to ease up, somehow, by whatever means you have - contact psychologist, find a mediation on U tube, so a simple yoga routine with lots of deep breathing and calming

This is the top yoga teacher on U tube imo, and she even is doing it stroking her lovely dog, you can imagine yourself in a similar space. do it more than once, until it sinks in. Do it alone initially

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbMK48EoaBA

I'd loved to have been with you in the pool HVDY -I've had a totally full on morning, because unforeseen mistakes were made by the person who fitted the lock on the garage - he never checked it before he left!

And I just had to get active on the Gaza thread becuase of my commitment to the cause - Sweetpeasue it might distract you a bit (what I did when very depressed anxious, focussed outwards).

Anyone new to yoga watching this or other yoga/meditation tapes, its a good idea when you get onto the page you want, to go to "Settings:, chose "speed" and you get the choice to slow the tape down to .75 which means its easier to take it all in

(Otherwise, I think its too fast, and I found that too even with what I know having just done it)

(And - sit how you like! Remember you don't have to do exactly what she does, you try as best you can and thats good enough)

I've PM'd you, Sweetpeasue

Have retired under the duvet, a busy day but no must do's left.

Wish you could all be here

Scaredycat A beautiful photo- looks so lovely. Drink up all that sea air.x

Thanks Wyllow and everyone.

Had to sleep after we came back. Had a nice lunch though.
DH had BP appt with nurse today, same nurse that did his ECG last time and said he should go to A&E .
He told her how he was and everything that had been happening. She wasn't happy and went for GP who came to see him. They both said he's definitely got all symptoms.s , arm pain breathlessness ect of Subclavian Steal and were extremely concerned that Vascular haven't done anything about the partly blocked artery that's causing Vascular deficiency . Nurse told GP that she'd noticed DH was worse breathing wise. ( I've noticed he often takes a breath partway through sentences).
Outcome is the the GP has copied all nurses info today and is waiting for letter from appt to cardiac nurse that he had a mth ago. She just said that it wasn't Angina and to get rid of spray. She also said that his low heartbeat was most likely normal for him-- well it's NOT.

Not sure if to wait for GP to receive letter or not. We were going to go to GP head on Friday - now DH says won't be necessary.
The nurse impressed on him to phone 999 for ambulance if his breathing gets worse.

Just worried to death.
Sorry for long post.

Wyllow Forgot to mention, went through the yoga exercise while DH was at nurse appt.

Found it quite good , thankyou. No I couldn't kneel because of knee.
Don't think her dog found the pumping breaths quite his thing. Aw.
I'll look up some more of hers. Suggestion about speed noticed.