Black Dogs 29

HVDY Im so pleased your DB is going to go to The Men's Shed again. There's still a chance he might make a friend there.
Ive heard of toppers and if I get the courage to get a mobile hairdresser to visit I think Id suggest it to her- see what she would say. My youngest sis has same problem but has so much more confidence and it doesnt bother her.

Post to others tomorrow. X

EllieAnne Ive only just read your last post. Ive had extra med and one too many tonight but I needed to reply to you.
Well endowed females are considered 'lucky' in our society but it cant feel that way for those who dont want it. Im so sorry for the way your husband has made you feel about your need to have that surgery. It cant have been an easy decision . You have such courage to go through with that and I know it must have been so difficult.

EllieAnne Sorry, had to look at previous page where your post was as Im on phone.

Your son sounds so kind and well aware of the problems involved with his son. You raised him to be a very affectionate and considerate person. Plus it seems you had little input in that side of things from your husband. Please do realise that you have done everything possible to have a happy family.
You really are a lovely and kind person. I just wish you realised it.
Much love ❤️ xxx

Wyllow I do think a holiday will be beneficial for you. Sometimes just being in a different area feels good. Hope you can arrange somewhere nice.

The reduction sounds like a really sensible decision, EllieAnne, I know someone who had it done as they were small and risked back problems.

As for the sneering, well..it seems true to form and I'm just personally sorry -as I was able to do this - and financially was able to - and Ex was so ill he was OTT -

you were not able to take the step out to living alone - for whatever reason, and no one outside a marriage can know the why's and wherefores.

You have not got a lot of sense of self worth - and it's hard to get one as many here know.

I think it's a great decision to go and stay with them to look after at his own house. that way he can get to know you whilst on familiar ground.

As for church, go out - see how you feel - you can always slip out quickly ...

My go to watch is still hero make things better Montalbano, I have it on DVD.

I think the least you can do for yourself is get a decent lap top that you can watch all sorts of things on via I player and U tube to suit you if you get one of those bed sitty up things as I know there isn't room for a chair.

Do look consider it as an option, Sweetpeasue, even if it’s not for you. I hate my hair thinning, it's the meds I’m on, there is a lot of pink showing but evenly and it makes me look older and I am vain! and my family have lots of hair.

So much kindness here.

EllieAnne Good idea for you to look after your GS in his own home. It'll all be familiar and he'll have his own things there. Your son sounds caring and compassionate. You obviously did a good job of raising him. It was a brave and big decision to have the breast reduction. I used to work with a woman who had it done - she was almost 60 then and had the op when her husband was visiting family in Mauritius (she hadn't told him). If you felt better in yourself after having it done, that's all that matters.

Wyllow3 I do hope you manage to go on a nice, relaxing holiday somewhere. It'll do you good.

Up at 5 (thanks, Jaffa), went back to bed until 6 (thanks, bladder), then back to bed until 7 (bladder again). To say the "normal" number of wees a day is 8, I've been 3 times already and have only had a couple of ounces of water with my meds. Damned nuisance. Hope everyone has a decent day x

It is a nuisance, interrupting sleep.

It's another dull grey day, with quite a breeze. Its Quakers, rush home, get lock fixed, and should rush out for another meeting, but I woke this morning very low indeed, (horrible dreams) missing pals at the gym, after a day alone, so may go there.

Hi all
HVDY- we,ve been for a walk this morning and met a dear little cat- so I got a furry fix!!
Your brother makes life so difficult for himself- I,m like you I love meeting people they are endlessly fascinating.
Your furry alarm clock needs resetting!! Still if it’s not Jaffa it’s a wee- that’s so tiring for you. You are so patient and just deal uncomplainingly with everything.
Doodle- Ah it must have been hard for your DS to lose his hair prematurely- it’s not so bad now as lads have so many different ways how they look.
Croatia is lovely- I hope your family hve a great time.
Such a kind ,helpful post toEllieAnne- what a nice lady you are.
I expect you are at church this morning - hope the rest of you day is enjoyable for you.
SweetPeaSue- So glad you were able to see your Sisters- nothing like being with the people you love.
So pleased also that you are going to see your Book lady again. It’s always good to keep contact after term ends.
Ah you poor little girl being forced to paint. Teachers are much kinder now and thank goodness for it. I do have a cossy but will do anything not to wear it.😩
EllieAnne- It’s a good idea to see after your DGS in his own home- you should both feel more relaxed. His parents sound kind and sensible Poor little soul the world must be so bewildering for him.
Church is a Sanctuary- don’t miss it if it helps you.
Having your reduction was such a brave thing to do especially with no support or kindness from DH. Please ,if you can,as Wyllow suggested , get a good lap top it would set you free.
You deserve so much more- life is hurting you so treat yourself with kindness. We care.
Wyllow- Tregastel was last year but it is truly magical. It must have been fun camping with your DS. When my 3 were little we always camped as it was the only way we could afford adventures!
I hope you book a holiday so you can feel the sand between your toes. So many lovely places on the NE coast.
I hope you’re at the Gym today - it does always seem to raise your spirits.
Hopefully the sun is coming out now so the Beach will beckon.
Nadateturbe- thinking of you.
PurplePixie- how’s things?

Love to all- those mentioned and all old friendsxxx

I'm glad you got your furry fix, Scaredycat!
I won't forget the hours difference when I command the magic carpet today. A couple of Mille-Feuille will do nicely. (yes, did have to look the spelling up)

Quakers were lovely today. D was not there. A newish lady shared a moment of peace in a difficult night when she realised the natural world was all afresh and dancing in the wind at just-dawn: another very young one that she had just split with B/F, s she got a grandmotherly hug, and I recalled a bit of Shakespeare which is about realising the power of nature in adversity: here are bits

" Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile,
Hath not old custom made this life more sweet
Than that of painted pomp?

Are not these woods
More free from peril than the envious court?
Here feel we not
The seasons’ difference, as the icy fang
And churlish chiding of the winter’s wind,

Which when it bites and blows upon my body
Even till I shrink with cold,

I smile and say
“This is no flattery. These are counselors
That feelingly persuade me what I am.”

Sweet are the uses of adversity,

And this our life....
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in everything.

Well, work in progress?

but I'm afraid no gym. the locksmith was due between 1 and 2, but went and called by at 12.15: had I known, I would have been home, but my phone switched off for Quakers, and he was on his way to a place well the other side of my big city for 5 locks!

All because I put them by accident in a charity bag on Thursday....

Back later. I hope you coped OK this morning EllieAnne and yes would be good to hear from others later since I will be too tired to go out to the gym late late afternoon, but have a free day tomorrow.

Sheesh, Mr Lock didn't come till 5pm. 6pm Brittany time so missed the pastries.

Frustration did drive me to a 40 min cycling session indoors and moving some pots but I am looking forward to a good mooch and hopefully natters at the gym..

I did cope ok. A few tears but that’s all I ever manage. The man Who upset me wasn’t there and I spoke to some friends. But I’ve been very tired this afternoon and have really bad butterflies in my stomach as though I’m worried about something.
Wyllow I hope you get your locks sorted soon.
And glad scaredy cat is enjoying the holiday.
It’s cold here again. My heating came on this morning.
Sometime this week I’ll have to try and patch up the wall where the handrail was taken off leaving bare wood and holes. I’ve been waiting to see if he would do it but he hasn’t even mentioned it.

Wyllow Big thankyou for those Shakespeare lines. Lovely. We always bring poems to book group to read aswell. What a big problem your key loss has caused. Well done on the indoor cycle - that would shake the dust off it!😂
The only think with Minoxidil is that it doesnt actually * regrow* hair but ,if it works, helps prevent further hair loss. Once usage is stopped those same hair follicles go dead again. Not a cheap option either - used to be 50quid a box month- probs much more now.
Hope you had good chats at the gym.
Scaredycat Oh yes, teachers could be cruel then. One made me eat cold mashed lumpy potato that I left at dinner time until I threw up! Yuk.
Hope you are continuing to enjoy those lovely seaside walks. The sea has been calling me for a while- I need to listen.
Lovely words to EllieAnne.

Doidle Hope youve had a nice time at church today and seen friends.
I remember how close you are to your DGS and were often there for him. I hope he is keeping well. Did you get your art project finished?
EllieAnne Glad that man who hurt you wasnt there today and you could cope at church this morning.Wonder whats causing the tummy jitters.
Doesnt seem fair at all ,you having to patch up the mess made by taking off the handrail. Id have thought they would have left it better than that when they'd taken it away. You didnt want the stairlift after all. 'Wyllow' has some good ideas there to make your own space more comfortable.
HVDY Oh I really sympathise with your frequent trips to look at night. You can get so tired with it. Did the raised medication help you in the daytime? I know they can give you a very dry mouth but at I hope you will get more rest tonight. Maybe a bit more time on them may help the night time trips. I have to go a good few times but at my worst it would be 8 times a night. Not sure if the Amitriptyline helps but much better these days. Oh Jaffa does get up early doesnt he . Does he wake you with his paw?
NadateturbePurplepixie Hope you're both OK.

Saw my aunt this afternoon. Admit Id been putting it off as I didnt want to upset her ( and me) by leaving . Turned out better than I thought as her DD and DGD were there so it was a lovely chatty time and my aunt was laughing a lot.
Her DGD told me that my aunt had actually been getting worse though about wanting to go home and upsetting other residents. Oh its so hard.

Wishing all a peaceful night.xxx

Love to

Sweetpeasue thank you our DGS is doing well. Thank you for thinking of him. Glad you met with your aunt while family were with her and you had a good chat. Sorry she’s still wanting to go home. Hope she settles there.
Ellie Anne my DIl had breast reduction too. She had terrible problems with her back and found it helped. Can’t believe your husbands attitude. Not supportive at all. Glad you had some friends at church this morning.
wyllow sounds like a good time at Quakers and a more relaxed and supportive meeting. Sorry you had to wait so long for the lock man. Well done with the cycling.
Scaredycat glad you got your cat fix. Did you get to the beach? I do hope so. Yes been to church this morning then spent the afternoon painting. Got to finish my project for Thursdays.
HVDY between Jaffas early start and your trips to the loo sounds like you didn’t get so much sleep. I get up at least twice a night sometimes three times. Go lots during the day too. I must try and stop the just in case trips. Trouble is with all this extra weight I don’t have as much control as I did have,
Sleep well all

EllieAnne - well done at church. I'm so glad he wasn't there!
As for the holes, how about asking him directly, as it was he who wanted the stairlift? See what happens?

I hope the sea soon shouts loudly, Sweetpeasue. the pause between the waves - always fascinated me, I used to try and capture it on a video - the pebbles rattle on the shrinking wave, then there is a moment whilst the next wave collects itself - TS Eliot in the 4 quartets (I dont actually know a lot of petty at all, but this poem my favourite

"Eliot writes that things long sought after and not known can be, "heard, half-heard, in the stillness / Between two waves of the sea". It describes a fleeting, eternal pause in the chaotic, rhythmic motion of life. I'm glad you do a poem in your group!

Oh- so sad regarding your Aunt. I'm glad she was happy and laughing - but of course the contrast when the laughing family left ^embodies loss^- one hopes she will recover/accept a bit more each time, as she was showing signs of settling.

ScaredyCat Aww, you met a little cat - I always find cats to stroke when we go anywhere. I'm glad you're having a good time on holiday.

Wyllow3 Good job D wasn't at the Quakers meeting and that it was all friendly, with the new ladies. The man came quite late to fix your locks. Now you're all safe and secure again. 40 mins on your bike was a long session! Did you go to the gym as well??

EllieAnne Thank goodness that awkward man wasn't at church. Wonder why you feel a little bit off? Fancy having to put the heating on in July - it's due to be warmer later in the week. It'll be too hot here (32 degrees) from Wednesday. The weather is seldom just right.

SweetpeaSue My increased tablet isn't working as well as I'd hoped, but I probably need to be patient and also cut down on what I drink - I've been told to have 2-4pints of fluid a day (that includes soup, ice lollies and milk on cereal). I probably have 5 pints. Jaffa wakes me by scratching at the drawers on my bed. Little sod. His meow is so faint, bless him. Seeing your aunt laughing and talkative must have been a relief. When she says she wants to go home, keep distracting her or say "tomorrow". Many people with dementia actually mean their childhood home. My SIL was the same.

Doodle I'm tired all day but try to stay awake until bedtime. You've got a few days to finish your art project. Will you show us when it's completed?

Not done much today - went to my friend's to give her and her husband a present for their ruby wedding - a glass vase, which I had engraved. DH was at Son2's for most of the day, putting in more sockets (some outside) and installing new taps. Hope everyone has a restful night x

An engraved glass vase - how very lovely, HVDY. good for DH!
Its going to be hard cutting down on fluids in this hot weather just to come,

and I really don't know how you keep awake all day what with Jaffa and your bladder to make you get up.

No gym today - home from Quakers at 12.40, Lock Man 5.20. I should have done the gardening but....

HVDY Thats so hard, cutting down fluids. I know my case - Interstitial Cystitis, is different but I always found it made my bladder pain worse when my urine was concentrated. You must do as youve been told by your own Dr. I feel so sorry because I know how tired it makes you wanting to get up to wee.
It was lovely to see my aunt laughing and her DD is very chatty and numerous too.
I had a bit of alone time with her adult DGD and she told me my aunt had been 'ramming the glass doors that are the exit to the home with her walking frame and demanding to go home( not her childhood home) . Upsetting for other residents and my cousin been told she may need to be moved to next floor( more serious cases ). Obvs my cousin doesnt want that. Its heartbreaking. Just hope my aunt settles.

Wyllow Thankyou for that excerpt from T.S.Elliot's poem. Id never read that . Googled some of that and came up with the AI's 'deeper meaning' explanation, but you put it so very well, which lead me to look at it further.
I'll have that in mind next time Im watching the sequence of the waves.
You captured it perfectly about the sound of pebbles as the waves retreat.😊

Hi all
HVDY- there are lots of people here with really cute little dogs but we haven’t found another cat! If there is another one we,ll find it😸
That was a nice thoughtful present for your friend.
Your DH is certainly a really handy man to have around- I expect he enjoys helping the family- what a good Dad.
Doodle- yes it was a beach afternoon yesterday. It is only a few minutes walk away and we can see it if we hang out the window!
I,d love to see your picture when it’s finished- that was a really hard subject. Is it watercolour?
I,m another one up at least twice during the night. I have to tiptoe now so I don’t wake the boys.
SPS- please listen to the sea- it’s the best tonic. Yesterday whileDH was sunbathing I walked the whole bay from end to end in the water - it was lovely.
I got the ruler when I was at school- It would be headlines now!
Ah your poor little Aunt. Those mood changes are so hard to deal with but sometimes it’s best just to use little white lies as HVDY says eg when can I go home- maybe another day.
My friend is being disruptive too and she was the most gracious and well mannered person. It’s so upsetting isn’t it .The person we love is in there somewhere and we visit because of that.
Wyllow- Mr Lock took his time but at least now you are all safe and sound again.
That was a long session on your bike- we used to love cycling but haven’t done it for a long time.
Sorry no Mille Feuille bit I have some Galettes.
So nice Quakers was more like the old days.
Yes nature is very powerful . Today a sea fog rolled in as we set off on a boat trip from the sea to the river. It was so weird and enveloped us but there was no fear just awe really.
EllieAnne- I,m so glad you went to Church and were able to see some friends. Those butterflies are quite understandable. They come from the anxiety of the nasty man at Church and also the sheer awkwardness and selfish behaviour of your DH - he really is out of order.. You should NOT have to repair the wall
Or do anything else like that .
Love to allxx

Here comes the fog

Scaredycat Yes, 'the person is in there somewhere' so true. We still see the aunt we knew in moments. Shes so tiny ,4ft something and 6stone and was always active. I got the ruler too- for whistling ,yet I cant and never have been able to whistle! 😲
Oooh ,lovely moody photo there , perfect for watercolour painting.
Enjoy every minute.

Wyllow3 I start flagging by teatime usually. Because of the heat today, I fell asleep (sitting up), and so did my husband - he's still asleep. Hope you've had a good day.

SweetpeaSue Oh, that's really sad about your aunt. I hope she'll settle down soon. How have you and your DH been today?

ScaredyCat My husband does like to help the boys, but likes to be asked. Son1 has picked up a lot of DIY/car tips from him, but Son2 isn't interested in any of it much. What a stunning photo of the boats in the fog.

Went with DH for his urology check-up. After an ultrasound and flow test, we'd been there 3 hours. DH was meant to have had a blood test, but the waiting time was 2-3 hours, so he'll go early tomorrow morning. Went shopping, got lots of fruit and salad (no goodies). Love to all x

HVDY Been overcast today though 20°
Heat makes you tired doesnt it. In my case its also staying up during the night watching a footie match🫣. Went out this morning with DH for his xray then had appt with building society. Im absolutely shattered. Oh, fancy having to wait 2or3 hrs for blood test - shame they cant do better than that. Hope your
We're having DHs urology checks are OK.
We're having baked potato, fish n salad tonight. Im completely out of chocolate but hope to stay that way for a while!