Black Dog 30

Hi all
Doodle- never apologise for not feeling like or not feeling able to post.That sadness is so understandable although I expect you all remembered the funny times you shared too. It’s the realisation that they are now in the past. The finality of loss is the hardest thing to deal with isn’t it.
DH will have an ECG tomorrow so we,ll see what happens after that.Its ludicrous isn’t it.
Hope you enjoyed Church today.
HVDY- there’s nothing worse than those people who put everything on. They smile with their mouths but there is nothing behind their eyes.
Dolly Parton was a lovely example of a genuinely good,kind friendly person wasn’t she.
I,ve always hated housework from the very first day my first DH and I got back from Honeymoon😩 The repetitiveness drives you nuts. Trouble is I,m sure like me you like your house clean and tidy but Oh what a pain it is.
I,m like you I can chat for England- but love to listen too.
Glad you had a happy day with LG yesterday. It’s cooler now isn’t it .
Willow- The blood test was done at the surgery as the ECG will be tomorrow. So we,ll wait and see what the Doc says. The text DH got said something about our health provider would be in touch. Ha Ha.
Maybe it would be better if you just threw yellow and grey rocks at some of those people!!!
How amazing that your Zoom meeting revealed other people who have gone through something similar to your troubles. Hopefully they talked about how they coped and the effect on them. Yes all you really want is a sincere and honest apology delivered with sincerity.
Hope you,ve got Happy Feet now .
Also I hope that today’s outing is full of kindness,friendship and fun too. It,ll be more comfortable as you are familiar with 2 of the people.
SweetPeaSue- do hope you are enjoying your time in Wales.
Ellie Anne- you have been a bit quiet I hope you are all right.

Love to all mentioned and those we miss

Willow- yes the fluff balls are the by product of 2 extremely furry boys!!xx

Wyllow3 I can "grey rock" a person who has upset me, no problem. I can't (won't) be sociable with someone I don't like. Hope your Orthotics appointment went well. Did you have a nice lunch? I love eating out. Nice that you can meet up with new friends.

Wyllow3 With some people, a genuine apology will never come - and it's futile to pursue it. Son1 had an emailfrom his GP surgery telling him to complete an online form this morning to try to get an appointment. Useless. At least his wound hasn't got any worse, so it can't be Cellulitis.

ScaredyCat Dolly Parton appeared to be a sincere, friendly and caring person, much in the same way as Paul O'Grady was. Housework is so tedious. Jaffa doesn't really moult (he leaves a slight shadow on his blanket, if you know what I mean). His fur is dense. The mess is made by LG. Hope your husband's ECG goes ok tomorrow and that he's offered an appointment/treatment soon.

DH went out for breakfast, then fetched GD1 and brought her here. We had lunch at a pub she chose - I had homemade lasagne, then Tiramisu, which had been made in a coffee cup. Nice. We went to a farm park and fed the animals. She's gone home now. It's been thundering here, but not lightning. It rained for about 2 minutes. Hope everyone has been ok x

Thats really unhelpful for you son, HVDY. His doctor is very clearly different from yours -and mine. Now, I think you are right about cellulitis - Yet...what I wondered is, does his hospital have (as per local mine) a small injuries clinic? Or a walk in GP centre? Yes, he would have to take time off work to go, possibly: but OTOH is you go here early to either, he would be seen.

That was a nice day there and nice food.

I'm absolutely cream crackered. I did sleep so well and getting about getting to the clinic on time: I did of course and my new custom build inserts are - just wonderful as they also give arch support, and are very high tech. Cost is towards £200 I asked him.
After that it was a struggle, drove off to meet the extended family. It was a strain with the new ones, and the two new kids just not interested even in being polite...but yes of course I made sure we got on well enough with friends son - his wife - not sure what to make of her. But I loved making contact with the son, his 3 yr old and (new to me) warm wife. It did take "social effort" tho.

But it was important I "made a reasonably good impression" on Eldest Son.

Friend and I went for a quiet walk after that in the woods - it was at Chatsworth, HVDY, and the thunder rumbled and it rained. Not here at home of course!

what is still in my mind, BD's, is that I do have to find a good way of dealing with the Q stuff. will try and discuss an effective plan with psychologist. Afraid its needed in the dynamics of the situation. curses it ever started. Oh well...as they say, *hit happens.
and I expect to see the bit if the family I really warmed to and vice versa another time, before they go back south over the weekend.

I did think the furry balls might be cat related, Scardeycat. they are gorgeous but...price to pay and all.....
Not I am crossing fingers and toes that the test for DH does well tomorrow, and please do let us know x

Back later to see if any more check ins.

Doodle Im sorry yesterdays meeting with your DHs friend and his wife left you feeling so down. I can see it must have felt strange going over times when you were all together and your DH not being able to share in it all. Hope today youve felt a bit better.
HVDY Oh dear , your son"s shin doesnt sound good at all. Glad you dont think its cellulitis though. Ridiculous the Drs cant see him ,it really is. Hope he gets in soon. Tiramisu is lovely isnt it.
I wont be getting onto the scales as soon as I get home ,thats for sure!
Scaredycat Kind words for Doodle there.
I can hardly believe your DHs referral was turned down, and yet I can, knowing the way things are. Even if your DHs ECG is classed as normal it doesnt exclude heart problems . I do hope the 'health care provider' whoever that is ,gets in touch soon. I expect youll have to chase things up as we will be doing for DH when we get back.
I thought your poor neice was going to have her op soon - thats awful too. Hope PALS can get things in motion a bit faster.
Wyllow So pleased you have been having a nice time meeting your friend's family. It must be a little disconcerting meeting new people. Good to meet for pub meal though - much more relaxed atmosphere. Even though my son lives in Mansfield Ive never actually been to Chatsworth House or the gardens. Glad the weather wasnt too bad. It tipped down here this morning though dry this afternoon with thunder.

That was a good Quaker meeting Wyllow so good there were others who understood.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202608/medium-ejqlsd-72184246-0e71-4e32-98d7-fb9b64a7f7cb-1-all-4572.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202608/medium-9aro2y-1000017847.jpg

Have been having such a great time here.
The first few dys with son2 ,wife and DGS was so nice and Ive felt so close to them and relationships nurtured like never before. Im afraid I blubbed me eyes out so much after they left I had to wear sunglasses all yesterday.
They loved the boathouse as much as we did and the weather was so good we watched the boats going by and the birdlife in the Straits. Visited Red Wharf bay with them the day they left and F had a good mad time on the beach.
We walked to Church Island today ,just along the path and visited a tiny church just over 600 yrs old.

Only tomorrow left then we will be returning home. Its been so beautiful . DH has managed though hes needed a stick most of the time.

Hoping everyone has a peaceful night.
Love to all and not forgetting Nadateturbe and EllieAnne . X

Scaredycat hope the results of your DH’s ECG are ok. Good he’s being checked. I never minded the housework so much it was the ironing and washing up I wasn’t keen on.
HVDY so times these online forms are a nightmare. They don’t ask the right questions or go off at a tangent. What’s wrong with human beings talking to each other. Hope he gets treatment soon. Nice day for your DGD1 some quality time with you on her own.
Wyllow children are often not very communicative with adults they don’t know. Glad you got on ok with your friends sons though. A pleasant day.
Sweetpeasue DH’s friends are very kind and nice. It was a pleasant lunch but there are always moments every day when the sadness comes over me. I had so much and so I’ve lost so much. I should think of the good times and not moan so much. How are you getting on? Hope you’re having a good time
Ellie Anne hope you’re ok. Take care all

Been a difficult week . Dh been at hospital today.had a scan last week and they are concerned about a possible clot in foot.
His platelets are better so steroids are reduced and back on blood thinners.
We’ve got a leak in the kitchen somewhere and it’s ruined the wooden floor. It’s very swollen in places and we’re tripping over it. I thought it was coming the dishwasher because thTs the only new thing we’ve had but the guy that put it in can’t find anything. I don’t know what to do.
I can’t cope with all this.
Just want to run away.

Of course you do, EllieAnne - it's so very understandable. things like that are the last straw, especially when the obvious have been excluded. its a heck of a lot to cope with for anyone. I just sort of want to give you warm hug, online will have to do.

Oh my, Sweetpeasue I was so happy to read it's been enjoyable ☺️. I'd have been crying my eyes out too, because this is a real big step in family terms as well as those peaceful experiences.

It's because you had so much, you have lost so much, Doodle I have never, ever, felt you were moaning.

This space is for telling it like it is, knowing you will be heard and there will not be judgement.

Friend was upset because the family wanted just them not me to go for a long, long day out tomorrow - but reassurance was easy, I'm not up to it, and want to take it easy doing my familiar things. Yes it is somewhere I love to go, but not with a big group of what are, after all, strangers.
My socialising limits are sort of max 3 to 4 hours! I am a creature of simple things and nattering away on the internet and not wanting to get dressed if not up to it,

And the orthotics appointment was brilliant, but itself a challenge and very rewarding.

Wyllow3 Son1 wouldn't be paid if he took time off work, but the main problem is that he's a bloke - and as such has been unwilling to make a fuss or go anywhere when he's got a health problem (he's got a hiatus hernia and had been having symptoms for years, dismissing them as acid reflux). It sounds as though you had a good day - shoe inserts, making walking more comfortable for you, and meeting up with new friends. Children can seem shy/awkward around people they haven't met before. Son2 and family go to Chatsworth for certain events. DH & I don't go as there would be too much walking involved.

SweetpeaSue I'm so pleased you've been having a good time. It's natural to feel so emotional after enjoying their company and having to say cheerio. The photos are great. What a scenic, peaceful place. You're on holiday; no need to worry about weight. I need to sort myself out and stop eating so much.

Doodle GD1 is always happy to spend time with us, which is lovely. She's a good girl, and she and I chat for ages. Have you been anywhere today? The weather was quite pleasant, not too hot.

EllieAnne Oh dear, your husband seems to be having one thing after another lately. Hope he is better soon. Could your leak be from the washing machine or fridge?

Watched a new (last year) drama starring Brenda Blethyn and Jason Watkins, called "Dragonfly". It was really rather slow, but the ending was quite shocking. Very good. Off to bed soon. Day Centre tomorrow - theme is "Seaside", so it's fish & chips, for a change. Night, all x

Well then it has to be fish and chips!

Ah...the getting bloke to doctor problem. I have no good answers!

Wyllow3 I'm not particularly fond of fish and chips - we never buy or make chips at home, but my husband likes them and often has them when we eat out. To tell the truth, I don't really feel like going today, but I will (I give lifts to a bloke who lives near me)

That furry-faced sod woke me at 4am! He must be feeling better, although he's still very snotty and snuffly.

Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Well, that's a very bad Jaffa! Snacks at 4am!
I don't have fish and chips unless its your "small portions in very posh top place great batter on the fish and crispy chips with a salad" Well done giving the lift, not letting bloke down.

But....its rain rain rain here and I am glad for the garden and it feels calming - indoor day whatever I do, mooching: and trying to get a roofer for the damp mould in my front bedroom long overdue, there is actually a mushroom growing. 😢 and its a cracked tiles on roof problem.

Back later, thinking of you all, rain or sun.

Wyllow3 Jaffa is really lovely, but 4am is too early! I left him downstairs with food and the litter tray and went back to bed until 7. I've been giving this bloke a lift for a couple of years now. I have to go back on myself to pick him up, but it's fine. His poor wife had mouth cancer 11 years ago, had a 13-hour operation for it, had a new tongue made from a muscle in her arm, then radiotherapy, which damaged her throat and resulted in her not being able to swallow anything other than custard, semolina, yoghurt, and Fortisip. No life at all, really. She had to have a colostomy, too. It's all awful for her, but she never complains at all.

I never eat chips, but I had a few today. The meal wasn't great, but we had a lot of games - balloon tennis, hook a duck, blow football, darts, and a seaside quiz. Nice day. It rained every minute of the day - heavily until 3pm.

Son2, his friend and LG all had a day at Diggerland in Yorkshire, then they called in here for a cuppa and a chat for 90 minutes.

Hope everyone has been ok x

”Ellie Anne sometimes you feel things are coming at you from all directions. Sorry about your DH’s foot and the kitchen floor. You’re obviously stressed. Hope you can find the source of the leak soon
Sweetpeasue so pleased to hear you’ve had such a lovely time with your family. Looks like a beautiful place.
Wyllow it was dark here this morning and raining. Still warm but as you say calm and even peaceful. What I call quiet rain. Lovely to see. Sun again this afternoon
HVDY I had a pleasant day yesterday thank you. Went to an art exhibition then sat in friends garden with a coffee just chatting, very nice. Been to the hospice today and church knitting. Kind of you to give that chap a lift I’m sure he appreciates a day out.
Scaredycat hope your DH’s ECG went well. Di you get the results straight away? Always a worry when you wonder what’s going on.

HVDY that man you give a lift to, his dear wife has suffered so much and has so little life, yet she doesn't complain. What an amazing, strong lady.

nadateturbe I know, she had a terrible time, and has got such a limited life - they've got no grandchildren, and 3 adult children. One has been estranged for 10 years (they've no idea where she is), another works away all over the world, so only visits perhaps 3 times a year. The 3rd has M.E. and hasn't left the house for 3 years, only to go to hospital. The lady herself is the nicest and bravest person I know. I don't know how she manages to carry on.

It's pouring with rain again. Off to bed. Out with DH's sister tomorrow. Night, all x

Some are so brave.

I'm glad you did give the lift, every little kindness counts.

I think I'd like a knitting group Doodle its a meditative way to be with others.

quite tired as I needed to call by a friend to drop off some stuff when I'd planned just to mooch, but from somewhere came the energy for a Bis Shop and a call in at the Costa.

Rung another friend P who is having the most dreadful time trying to get help for her DH and DD both with serious MH stuff and she is stuck in the "more she is seen as capable the more its left to her" but also her sense of guilt if she stops and lets events go into a natural crisis, they are so very great. Most others say, don't take the phone calls, let it go to crisis - but I understand so much how one' sense of guilt overrides self care.

No moon tonight (I do like to look out) and I find myself sympathising with those in the south of England who are still pretty rain free!

How is it in NI, nadateturbe?

Warm waves to the "not in todays".

It's sunny right now at 11am but more rain and lightening promised later.

I'm not going to join visiting family today as it's a bit much but I have recommended wet weather stuff for the children (3,3, and 7). We have a superb museum with lots of dressing up and pretending to be a cave man women or child and things to press and a real scale hug huge mammoth to admire and a nice cafe so its a good one. And of course soft play centres.

I'm planning - in theory - a leisurely visit to the gym when it's quiet. "use it or lose it" as all we over 65's say to each other, and all and good natters to be had.

But I'm currently so tired its my favourite music and lying down and N has made my house calm, clean and tidy.

I did far too much yesterday evening, when will I ever learn.

Here's one for any Taise fans nadateturbe and any others who like it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yXzhAS5990&list=RD-yXzhAS5990&start_radio=1

Hi all

Yesterday turned into a bit of a farce on the morning. My DH had his ECG appt cancelled but it has been rearranged for next week. I had my leg dressing appt changed too shortly afterwards with instructions to phone the surgery( there was sickness there)I did and got through so quickly I nearly fell off my chair😀 that’s when it got silly. The young receptionist said I could have it done Tuesday! That would have meant it being on for nearly 2 weeks and they had said to get it changed once a week, She said I could go to a walk in small injuries clinic or our Main A and E .
So off we trolled to the SI clinic half an hour away . Got seen within 10 minutes but the nurse said she couldn’t do it because they now only treated wounds done on the day and had advised all GP surgeries of that. 😩 She said I could do it myself if I got one of the dressings from a pharmacy. Which we did and I did it by now 2 hours had gone by so we might as well have gone to A&E.Then had visitors in the afternoon so was done in- yet again. Sorry I sound moany
Doodle- Glad you had a nice day yesterday - yes wasn’t the rain lovely.
As I said we had our appts cancelled but DH got a call from the Dr saying his problems could stem from his not having a thyroid gland due to Cancer and reduced his thyroid meds.
Still having the ECG but next week.
What sort of Art was the exhibition showing.
Ellie Anne- Oh dear more health problems for your DH. Hope they get sorted soon.As for the kitchen problems anything to do with water and leaks is such a worry.So sorry your floor is spoilt. Do you know a friendly plumber? Don’t blame you for feeling stressed - another hug coming your way.
HVDY- your lunch with GD1 sounds yummy- 2 of our favourite things. The whole day sounded fun.
Jaffas early morning call must have been a pain- that’s why we don’t have the boys with us. I love your description of him though.
That wonderful,brave lady who is married to your friend. She must be very special - life is so cruel sometimes.
We had rain yesterday - it was lovely but didn’t last long enough.
Willow- hope you’re walking more comfortably now with the new inserts.
That was quite a full on day with your friend and family. So a couple of quieter days will give you a reset.
Yes sometimes unfamiliar children can be hard work sometimes- it’s in their job description!!
You have done what’s right for you by not overdoing the visitors. I,m sure your ideas helped them to give the children a good day. Your friend will need a rest when they have gone.
Just enjoy the relaxation and calm after your busy week.
SweePeaSue- So,so happy to hear that you had such a lovely week. What great memories you will have.It looks a beautiful place. Lovely photos.
Your DH has done so well and hopefully it will have done you both the world of good. Time spent away with family is so special- I am really pleased it worked out so well.

Love to all

HVDY that poor woman is amazing. What a lot she has to cope with. Both of them I suppose not having any family help close at hand, Nice of you to give him a lift. Unless I’m mistaken I believe you sometimes go in and visit her too.
Hope you had a nice time with you SIl today,
Wyllow that sounds like a lot of fun activities for the children
Even if you’re not going it’s good to plan things for them
Hope gym was ok . Our knitting group is lovely. Led by a wonderful gentle retired vicar Ho leads our prayers while we knit.
Scaredycat what a palaver with your dressing change, That’s bad enough with the GPs and walk in clinics but my poor DH experienced the same as an inpatient in hospital, Two of the wards he was in had no one experienced in dressing changes, it beggars belief really.
Sorry your DH’s appointment has been changed. Hope he gets seen soon.
Sweetpeasue, Ellie Anne and nadateturbe hope you have a peaceful weekend.
I am having a bit of a difficult time at the moment. My imminent cruise is causing me a lot of emotion and sadness. I know I have to go for my friends sake and my family will b happy to see me have a holiday but to be honest it’s bringing back so many memories of cruising with DH i find myself in tears most days. I know I will be fine but I struggle with my feelings. Sorry I shouldn’t be moaning, there are so many who would love the trip we’re doing.
Have a good weekend all

Wyllow3 love the Taize link. Have listened to a few, I will enjoy this couple. Thank you.
HVDY so sad your friend doesn't see her daughters. Their visits would have given her dome enjoyment. Brave lady indeed. I feel for the one with severe M.E. I'm thankfully not as bad. So little help for sufferers.

Scaredycat what a palaver over your dressing being changed. It would be funny if it wasn't so serious. I'm sure you're exhausted, having visitors after all that running around. Hope you enjoyed the afternoon.