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Black Dog 30

(677 Posts)
Scaredycat Wed 08-Jul-26 15:53:35

Welcome. This thread is in support of those who wish to share their mental health problems as they affect their daily lives,share aspects of our lives supportively and give and take support. And is a continuation of Black Dog 29.
It’s been going for some time, so this is a jump in at the deep end.
All are welcome- don’t be put off by some of us being here long term - people come and go

HowVeryDareYou2 Wed 02-Sept-26 21:37:57

Doodle It is really autumnal now - summer is over, isn't it? It's lovely that you talk to your husband like that. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks - I talk to myself a lot.

Wyllow3 What an interesting time you had. Glad all went well. Does your brother live nearby?

SweetpeaSue Jaffa's a nice cat, and very affectionate (with cats, it's on their terms). My eyes have been very bad today. What might be causing your husband's ankles to be so swollen? Is he on Amlodipine BP pill at all? It's well-known for that. I hope he tries again to get an appointment with the GP.

I've been so idle today, yet still tired. Going to bed soon, although Jaffa's charging up and down the stairs [grin. Love to all x

Wyllow3 Thu 03-Sept-26 14:33:34

I woke after 9.5 hours sleep, yes, me, big fretter, never known for ages and was totally relieved that my brother had had to cancel due to car breakdown. Phew. One of the great unwashed still.

Hard to do much so just pottering and off to zzzzzzz.

But an exciting bit and invite to sent pictures for an exhibition "what makes me happy" and I have some that fit the bill anyway, and the nice curator collects them from me as she doesnt live too far away, so just sent off a load of jpegs.

Now to hit the pillow. Back later.

Sweetpeasue Thu 03-Sept-26 17:17:32

Wyllow Thankyou for my hug.🙂
Sorry about your DBs car but... every cloud. Hope you feel rested after your nap.
How wonderful to have some of your pictures in the exhibition. So theyre pictures that make you happy? That should be cheering.
HVDY Oh yes, I understand what you mean about cats needing 'their own terms'. They seem so independent.
Do hope your eyes are a little better today- thats so miserable for you.
Yes, one of DHs meds is Amlodipine. I wonder if its that. Hes making an appt next week so will mention it, thanks.

Saw aunt this afternoon. She was sat with others in the lounge and we went into this other one to talk. Well, me doing the talking really. When we got up to go she said she was coming home. I said well, you're stopping for tea. She said no, shes never stopped for tea and she was coming home. I walked her back into the lounge with the others and she seemed surprised and said , I know these people, and was confused. She said she wasnt stopping there . A nurse came over and stayed with her while we left. Id said you just have to have your tea first.
Sigh.

Hope everyone has had a reasonable day. Love to all.x

Scaredycat Thu 03-Sept-26 17:42:47

Hi all
SweetPeaSue. Your work is always so lovely - wish you realised how talented you are. It was lovely having the girls here but I,m so tired now as I wanted them to have a good time. Tuesday we went to see DH eldest Son and his wife with them - so grateful for all these nice people in our lives. Any way we stopped at a shopping outlet and some kind person hit my car and drove off while it was parked. So there’s a big den and scratch all down the drivers side- Oh well.😩
My DH is OK thank you and has heard nothing from the ECG so no news is good news.
My leg is still being dressed but looks so much better. Did you find you didn’t worry so much when you were away with lots of distractions?
HVDY- so sorry about your eyes you do have some uncomfortable problems.
Bit daft of that window cleaner-
LG photo was adorable - I think it’s so sweet she loves goats. What a kind choice as they’re not the cuddliest of critters.
I talk to myself all the time or the cats if they’ll listen.
Jaffa sounds the sweetest soul I can just imagine the feel of his little paw to wake you up.
Doodle- sorry you had a bit of a dizzy turn- it’s a horrible sensation.
My friend and I had a really nice afternoon. One of our friends had taken her to Hospital and stayed with her til I went round .Then her DiL stayed the evening and night
It’s a very neat wound and has been glued together. No more chemo for her. Tomorrow is a big day as she is seeing her oncologist to hear what happens next.
Autumn walking is my favourite - the colours,smells and kicking the leaves. Talking to your DH as you walk is so good for you - you take him everywhere.
Wyllow- museums are one of my favourite things. Yours sounds wonderful and full of interest. Your friend must have learnt a lot from his father. When I was young being an archiologist seemed such a wonderful thing to do.
You can have a walk with your brother soon when you’re not so weary.
Congratulations on the exhibition- I love the theme. You must feel very proud and so you should.
Nadateturbe- Hope you’re doing all right- always so nice to see you in.

Good news!! My neice has a date for her Op on the 18th September and is first on the list. Fingers crossed.

Love to all

Wyllow3 Thu 03-Sept-26 17:47:05

Aw Sweetpeasue, sadly, par for the course really. The main thing is she so clearly needs a lot of care, now, and it seems a decent place. "there but for the grace of god go I" etc etc. but the plea personally hurts as you know its not possible.

I'm glad DH is making an appointment next week.

After 2 hours sleep I still feel dead on my feet. I have been overdoing it substantially and have to think practically after a rather whirlwind time and draw boundaries.

But yes, it would be delightful to be in the exhibition, given the pix will be collected and I just can go to the opening: I've sent a number of pix in, some only "in the making" but will be sensible and say "framed ones living room style" framed already: also only want to give so much personal info away.

TMI: Its got to the "better have a shower" point".

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 03-Sept-26 18:59:35

Wyllow3 You must have needed all that sleep. You've been so active recently, with all that walking. Hope you manage to see your brother another time, soon. Just as well he was unable to see you this time. Great about your pictures being in an exhibition. You must feel so proud.

SweetpeaSue I would bet money on it being the Amlodipine - the hospital put me on that after my stroke, and my own GP stopped it because my feet and ankles were massively swollen. Aww your aunt - it's a shame, but she's in the right place there. I expect she settles down fairly quickly after you've gone. My eyes are worse today and one eyelid has been bleeding. The ointment I ordered for this problem arrived today, so I've applied it. I feel nit properly dressed without mascaragrin.

ScaredyCat Glad you had such a good time with your family members. How annoying about your car. Is the damage very bad? Glad your leg is healing OK now. You've got a lovely family and good friends. That's good news about your friend not needing any more chemotherapy. Great news at last about your nice. After all this time! I hope it all goes well for her.

Son2's kitchen is finally being sorted out. He had a leak under the floor, end of last year. The insurance company have dragged their heels a lot over it. It's been like a building site since January. The walls have now been plasterboarded and skimmed, will need painting. Floor has been cemented, needs laminate flooring or tiles fitting. He's chosen to have new wall tiles, cupboard doors and worktops. (Son will pay for those). Not good with a toddler and 2 cats.

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 03-Sept-26 19:01:17

Spelling mistakes!

Doodle Thu 03-Sept-26 21:09:26

Wyllow the exhibition sounds a good idea. Hope you make it into the exhibition and can see your work there. Sorry about your brothers car but sounds as though you were too tired to walk anyway.
Sweetpeasue what a frustrating time with your GP although that seems to be the case most places. As usual I advise keeping note of all your concerns so that you won’t forget when the appointment comes up. Hope he lets you go with him. I agree about the Amlodipine . Made my ankles swell too. Must be hard on you with your aunt saying she wants to come home. Hopefully she was quickly distracted.
Scaredycat hope your DH’s ECG was ok. Good your leg is getting better. I do hope all is well for your friend when she sees the oncologist tomorrow Great news about your niece. At last!
HVDY I talk to myself as well as DH 🤣. I think quite a lot of people do. So sorry about your poor eyes. Do hope the ointment helps. It sounds painful.
I’ve been out for lunch with friends. Very pleasant. I had Falafel wrap and chips followed by ice cream. And I wonder why I don’t lose weight. 😊

Wyllow3 Thu 03-Sept-26 21:50:20

Aw, just cross posted with you upthread, Scaredycat, just missed you.
😡 to that person who just walked off leaving your car! Yes, “no news is good news”, indeed. Good family time there all-round

- but the headlines have to be niece! At long last. All crossed for her.
It cild be a difficult day tomorrow for your friend when she sees the oncologist - do tell us the news xx

Its great to share a museum visit where you both bring different areas of knowledge, tho friend is an economist and I never studied a lot of that, tho I understand it broadly. But friend doesn’t have my detailed art knowledge.

That is, when I can remember names and so on. The delights of age - disappearing words at the “tip of your tongue”. Google is handy for this.

HVDY you’ve certainly been through the mill as regards medical conditions. Yes you must keep off mascara awhile! Your poor eyes. Undressed for a while 😉.
(I don’t use it but had my eyelashes dyed now and then, not atm.)
My, what a to-do with Son2’s kitchen! Yes and with kids around too. At last. I dont notice my own spelling mistakes at times and didn’t, yours.

Well yes Doodle not exactly “on diet” - but sounds pretty delicious food. I don’t keep naughty stuff at home, but out…well

…I had chips on Monday….for starters, which took posh pub a little by surprise, but there you go.

How are your knees these days? My left leg hurts climbing up stairs, I have to work out a way for using my shoe inserts indoors.
Are you still attempting the stairs up to your flat or is that just too challenging atm?

Thinking of BD’s not in as ever xx

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 04-Sept-26 07:33:36

It's raining again.

DH and I are going to High Chai - a type of afternoon tea, but at an Indian restaurant in Nottingham city centre. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 04-Sept-26 07:34:03

We're going for High Chai

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 04-Sept-26 08:28:23

Doodle That lunch sounded nice. I've had falafel, but not in a wrap. My diet has gone to pot, with all the eating out we've been doing. ot to worry.

Wyllow3 With having Vasculitis (an autoimmune condition), my immune system is overactive, so I get things easily. It's a damned nuisance. Forgetting names and/or words happens as we get older, doesn't it? I do it, then suddenly remember at 2 in the morning!

Wyllow3 Fri 04-Sept-26 09:13:44

That is so true, HVDY, as regards memory. Yes, you are the victim of an unwelcome condition.

Have a lovely lunch.

I awoke after another horrible dream. threatens recent peace: but I did actually look up on AI "why am I getting these dreams when things are going well" and the answer was pure gold, it said its because your unconscious is still in " bad things will happen, I cant trust things going well enough, and produces a punitive dream.
That helps me. since then I have asked AI similar questions, and it is surprisingly helpful!

Gym, and hopefully a walk, weather is supposed to be picking up as the day goes on. OTOH my fridge is nearly bare and it really ought to be a walk round my supermarket!

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 04-Sept-26 10:11:12

Oh, those unpleasant dreams linger for a while. Hope you manage to dodge any rain if you go out. We're going to get the bus and tram to the city (my social anxiety has started already). Back later

Sweetpeasue Fri 04-Sept-26 15:56:41

* Scaredycat* I do hope its good news for your friend today at oncology. You must be a bit anxious.
Oh no , your car being damaged like that - what a nasty person to not take any responsibility and leg it. Car parks, especially in supermarkets, are a nightmare. Never know what you're going to come back to.
So glad for your neice- not before time!!
WyllowYou have been doing a lot of socialising lately , lovely as it is I can understand the tiredness. I find talking and trying to be 'sociable' ( being alert to pick up all the nuisances and queues ) can be exhausting after a while. Im so glad you're having a nice time with your friend. Oh , bad dream - they stay with you and can be so alarming. The AI answer sounds reasonable. I asked AI about DHs Subclavian stent projecting 2 centimeters into Aorta ( which was how Radiologist had written it) and Im sure his appt should be much sooner. Weather been dry , though v windy here. Hope you managed your walk.
Doodle Thanks for your input about the Amlodipine and swollen ankles. It seems its a common side effect and I hadnt realised. Def tell Dr next week. DH likes me to go with him -- IF we get F2F. Crossed fingers against. Hope you can get some.e help with your knee ,it must be so painful for you to get around. I haven't been on the scales since our holiday- no news is good news!
HVDY Hope the social anxiety disappeared once you were out. Im always nervous going into new places. Did you enjoy your special lunch?
Hope the ointment is helping your poor eyes - one of them bleeding! Goodness it sounds horrid. Id feel self- conscious without my make up but nothing you can do about that- just hope they get better quickly.
EllieAnneNadateturbe Hope you're both OK. Thinking about you.

Quiet day today. Been getting in a right hassle making up the first knit cardi. I see every imperfection ,I dont think I will accept any orders from anyone after this. DHs ankles still swollen and difficult.
Son 1 and famy coming to stop at son 2's tomorrow. Son 2 wanted to do a buffet type thing to celebrate my 70th! ( which is later this mth) Dont know why but Im a bit nervous about it. The fuss is more for them than me! 🫣 It'll be good to see son 1 and family though.

Hope all ate OK and sending love.x

Sweetpeasue Fri 04-Sept-26 15:58:04

Spelling mistakes- sorry.

Doodle Fri 04-Sept-26 19:49:36

Wyllow I’m doing stairs when I can . I did read that it wasn’t a good idea it over exercise a painful joint so I have cut back a bit. My knees a little bit better maybe. I’m hopeful
I too am troubled by bad dreams. I would prefer not to dream at all. I can’t remember ever having a good dream. My are always full of anxiety or worry or trying to get somewhere.
I find i am affected by what I dream and it affects my mood for the day.
HVDY how interesting I’ve never heard of high chai. I hope you enjoy it. Please tell us what you have to eat.
Sweetpeasue knee is better thanks but I have to be careful. So pleased your Dh will let you go to the GP with him. It’s always so much better to have two people listening to what’s said and also you can ask your own questions.
Oh what a lovely idea of your son’s to do a Buffett for your birthday. That’s a great idea. Please relax and try and enjoy.
Scaredycat sorry about your car I must have missed that .
Hope your friend has positive news at her oncology meeting.
I’ve been out with the walking group today. Nice coffee and chat after. Busy morning tomorrow. Church cleaning.

EllieAnne Fri 04-Sept-26 20:08:39

I don’t think I m very popular today. Met 2 friends earlier and think I annoyed them. We are all Christian but one M researches things very deeply and we got a big long spiel about an obscure bible character and I was totally bored. Other friend p was taking it all in but it’s only one person s interpretation and not necessarily the right one.
On the rare occasions we meet I’d rather chat about family and have a general catch up.
They picked up I was bored.
I think I m just trying to get through the day just now and what happened thousands of years ago doesn’t seem important.
Anyway I left and I expect they had plenty to say about it.
But it’s left me so down. I usually visit p on a Saturday but don’t know what to do now.

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 04-Sept-26 20:59:53

SweetpeaSue I've had social anxiety for many years - somehow managed to hide it/avoid situations. I used to work alone, as a carer, so that was fine. Even family gatherings make me anxious, which is daft. I managed ok today - although I hate going into the city centre and on buses (I've been on buses twice this year). DH looks after me, though, and I trust him 100%. Enjoy your time with your sons. Is your son home for a while? A buffet sounds great. Food to suit everyone. You must celebrate your birthday. Being with family is so special.

Doodle Sorry you have unpleasant dreams. Would it help to listen to some soothing music on headphones as you fall asleep?

EllieAnne It doesn't matter what other people think. That long speech would have bored me to tears, although I'm an unbeliever. Who wants to drone on about serious things when you're just meeting for a friendly catch-up? How's your kitchen now?

The High Chai was great. Beautiful place, delicious food.

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 04-Sept-26 21:19:35

Son2's kitchen, been like it since January! Finally going to be sorted out

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 04-Sept-26 21:22:13

Kitchen

Scaredycat Fri 04-Sept-26 21:28:50

Hi all
Just a quickie before I go to bed. My friends PET scan was clear so that is wonderful news ? Now she has to see the renal consultant about the damage done to her kidneys by the immunotherapy. After that it should be many sessions of radiotherapy- a long way to go yet.
Funeral date for our lovely friend not til October though.
Oh those awful dreams - I have had many nights of them lately and they colour the next day and so it goes on.
Hope you all have a peaceful night tonight and I will answer properly tomorrow. Love to all

Doodle Fri 04-Sept-26 21:36:50

Great news Scaredycat
Ellie Anne go and see P as usual in Saturday. If she mentioned it just say you found it hard to concentrate with other things going on. X

EllieAnne Fri 04-Sept-26 21:51:18

Thanks. I think I might give it a miss tomorrow.
Hvdy kitchen is a mess but until the floor dries out I am stuck with it. I have not tried insurance because I’ve not found out where the Leak was from and they will ask me things I don’t know.
I think this on top of all the bother with dh health and my guilty feelings because I have no love for him have been too much for me.

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 04-Sept-26 22:45:27

ScaredyCat That's good news about your friend. I hope the kidney problem isn't bad. She's got a way to go, hasn't she? Brave lady.

EllieAnne If you were to decide to contact the insurance company, they'd send someone to find the source of the leak (as with my son).

Off to bed x