Downsizing

Yes, that is just about long enough - and it is good to get your home back. Likewise, I think the best part of holidaying is arriving back to the comfort of your own home, but then I am not adventurous at all.

I often wonder , when I've been on holiday, why I have to have so much room and junk and clutter in my home the rest of the time. What I'd love to do [garden not big enough, though], is to get my house all clean and tidy and shipshape, then move into a caravan in the garden and only have to clean and tidy that. In my youth I lived in a caravan for a while, and I loved it!

There is a Chinese saying "Guests and fish stink after three days"

We moved from a 4bed semi not in a good area to a 2 bed semi in a better area nearer to kids and my brother and OH's golf course.. sods law the golf course closed not long after we moved but he's now taken up bowls.., I love the fact that the house is quick and easy to look after, and we have one spare bedroom when my son who lives abroad or various friends want to spend a few nights but it also doubles as my hobby room/computer/sewing etc. Our kitchen/diner is only big enough to sit 4/5 at most and its a bit of a squash but honestly I am glad I don't have room for big family get togethers anymore , we usually gather at my eldest daughters and we all pitch in and help.

I would like a conservatory to sit and relax without the noise of tv (OH watches lots that I don't) but I'm quite happy to be upstairs in the spare room online or reading.. maybe one day we'll afford the conservatory.

Just need to unload here! DH is still sunk in depression because the house hasn't sold. It's been on the market for exactly three weeks! I cannot get through to him that we are doing nothing wrong, that 10 viewings is good, and that we have to be patient. I think it's the realisation that it's out of his control, but bless him, I do wish he'd lighten up a bit. He is normally a jovial, happy guy. Thank heavens Wateraid, Rotary and the local Young Offenders Institute are keeping him busy.

Thank you for listening!

Oh dear Ariadne. Houses are moving so slowly at the moment and some take more than 9 months. Members of my family have moved into rented accommodation and rented their own houses out to enable them to move. I hope he cheers up soon

Ah teddymac what a decision. In the end you have to take in all your factors. I moved 3 miles at 71 and it was a lot of work on my own but I have an overlap of friends and activities which meant it wasn't a wrench. You liked the house. I have moved so many times I can't remember. Now I have a small bungalow, lounge, bedroom off, kitchen, shower room and tiny garden. It is quiet just birds and horses clip clopping by, no traffic and I love it. It felt like home immediately but I dithered when the offer came. My daughter couldn't understand why I hesitated but I knew it would be my last move probably. I do envy folk in big places. Heating is the dearest thing wherever now. Water, bt, tv, car, etc. the same. But I think if one thing is dearer at the new place you spend less on something else. Priorities. Be near your interests as that is what you need when older and on your own. The family can always travel as they are younger. You do just narrow down to what you can't live without. Go by your gut feeling when you first wake up in the morning before your head kicks in and thinks.

Ah Ariadne DH needs to be more philosophical, 'what will be will be' I do believe if things are 'meant' they happen and if they don't something else 'will turn up' Never push things hard, let things happen.

My daughter sells houses and is top sales for the country, she can sell fridges to eskimos, she sold me a dinner service she had just bought, because she saw a nicer one, at the price she paid for it and I gave her most of the large plates and bowls back as on my own in a bedsit I would never use them

My DH says visitors are like fish - they go off after 3 days.

ariadne good luck with your house sale. I was like your husband..We'd made up our mind to move so I wanted to be off! Things are moving again especially in SE England. We went on the market in Jan and moved in July which is average for SE I am told. Fingers crossed for you!

Don't hesitate, it's terribly important to downsize while you still can. Its an exhausting business, but you can enjoy doing up a new house, and making sure it will be easy and practical for when you get really old and creaky. (I put in a low bath , which is very easy to get in and out of.) It took me three years to sell the house in Devon, and getting rid of so much was heart-breaking, especially my books, but in the end I found the clutter-free look a relief. We moved from a small village to the edge of a town with lots of amenities, and it has been a huge success. We have a variety of neighbourhood shops, DH can walk into the centre, and I hop onto a (free) bus for shopping, and the cinema, a great joy. It's sad not to be able to host family parties any more, but I don't think I could anyway, and one can always contribute with food or drink. One DD lives 30 minutes away, and the other can stay with her if needed, so we can still all get together for Christmas and birthdays. Devon was beautiful, but too far away. Now we are in the Midlands we get far more people dropping in, which is lovely. So, teddymac take a deep breath, and go for it! Give yourself lots of time to enjoy a simpler life.

Ariadne - thinking of you and have my fingers crossed for your getting a quick sale. It is hard keeping your own optimism going when DH is being so needy of encouragement. You only need one buyer though and it will happen!

We are signing contracts on Monday ready to exchange next week and complete on 31 May so it really does happen even if it can take time. We started - and gave up the process 18 months ago because I got cold feet when we only got one viewing in three months.

Decided to try again in March and have sold to the daughter of friends! Didn't even need an estate agent and the house we found is perfect for us and needs nothing doing to it.

I do think the limbo you are in, even when you find a buyer, between agreeing sales/purchases and completion is terribly nerve racking and there must be a better and less fraught way of doing it!

We downsized 3 years ago from a large stone detached period house in the North West to a 2 bedroom Victorian terrace in a picturesque town in West Sussex. We had a large kitchen extension built on and the downstairs is all open plan. 18 months after we moved we had a large house warming party with 40 people, easlly accommadated, just by moving the furniture to the walls.

Space for ourselves as individuals is managed by having an isulated / air conditioned, garden office (looks like a large summer house) at the end of the garden. This houses a computer, piano and an Ikea fold up sofa bed & is my husband's bolt hole. We can sleep 4 extra guests.

The money we released allowed us to have the house completely overhauled to our tastes (simple Swedish style), have the long thin garden designed and lansdscaped and buy a motorhome. Not all is perfect though - we have a 26 foot garage which is still housing some inherited furniture and a loft containing former soft furnishings & stuff my daughter doesn't want us to get rid of. Most difficult possesions to weed out were my books but some of those have been replaced on my Kindle -and we still have a wall of books.

Basically we are living the dream with a lot less housework and a great lifestyle. We can walk to to restaurants and shops 15 minutes away, entertain family & friends - or plead lack of space if we don't want particular visitors. And we can take off in our motorhome - just got back from southern Sweden.

Oh and the utility bills are less than half we paid before - important when you are on a fixed income! And I am never cold - I was in a large drafty old house!

Teddymac -myself and several of my friends have been in a very similar position and know that this feels like a huge decision to make by yourself. Especially when previously you and your late husband would have done this together. What is holding you back? Is it the fear of the sheer volume of work and upheaval of a move? Is it the fear of losing the memories in your family home? Is it comments from the children about leaving their childhood home?

The upheaval is only for a short while. You will move on and enjoy a better lifestyle in a smaller property with lower running costs. The family memories will stay with you wherever you go and probably be all the sweeter. Your children are grown ups with their own lives and homes, they are creating their own family memories just as you and your husband did thirty years ago. You owe it to yourself to make your life easier. Not one of us has regretted our decisions. Even a friend who rented out her house in case she hated moving and wanted to go back ended up selling it as she was so happy in her new home.

You say you've found a house you like, so you must be quite seriously looking at downsizing. Looking at the whole picture of what needs doing can be scary. Don't panic, take it step by step and good luck with whatever you decide to do.

sdsfdfsdasfsad

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

We have a large 4 bedroomed house and are planning a extension to give us a a utility room and a bigger kitchen. We are in our mid-70s and intend to continue as we are as long as possible.

When we downsize it will be to get a much smaller garden rather than a smaller house.

We got as far as making the appointment for house pics, then I faltered because I couldn’t immediately find what we wanted. My son said he was sad about it and I totally caved in! Now I feel disappointed with myself. I’d like the challenge of a new location. I want to be brave and go for it!

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

This thread started nearly seven years ago - I wonder if the OP downsized in the end!

A lot of familiar names no longer posting.

I have been weighing up the pros and cons of downsizing for quite a while now and of course all the while we are getting older. My husband has Alzheimers and his short term memory is virtually non existent. Although, when we are out and he chats and jokes with people I am sure that they wouldn't think that there is anything wrong with him, unless he was with them for any length of time and kept asking the same questions or telling them the same stories. When we talk about moving he is all for it but in his head at that time he is the same as he used to be. I would like to move to a 2 bedroom house that was easier to clean. I have found an area where property is cheaper than where we live and it seems a nice town. Our youngest son lives near to there and one of our grand-daughters lives in the small town. Our grand-daughter is going to take us there to spend a day looking round. There are more doctors' surgeries there, while at our doctors we have to wait about 3 weeks for an appointment which is worrying. The local council are going to build thousands of flats/houses nearby, some on a small patch of green just a short way along the road that is supposed to be for children to play on. There will be more traffic and possible parking problems. The upside of living here is that we have lovely neighbours either side, a good bus service, one bus goes right into our local hospital. Also a supermarket nearby. I know that our daughter and two sons would help us when it came to moving but are we too old now to undertake this step? The hassle of changing addresses on everything and sorting out gas/electricity etc. The other option is to stay where we are and get some decorating done and spruce everywhere up a bit. Our eldest son is a builder and said that he would redo the bathroom and put in a walk in shower. Has anyone else downsized when they were just over 80? We are still reasonably fit, no walking sticks yet and I still cycle.

Lots of chats re downsizing - doing nothing yet ?. Love visitors but like my mum used to say “visitors are like fish - lovely but starts to go off after 3 days “?

I’ve just sold my 4 bed detached house in Wales which we’ve been living in for 22 yrs since it was built, and seen most of our grandkids grow up
It’s only been a few days since we sold and we’ve decided to go and live near my daughter in Gloucester so that we can help out with her young family as we did with our now adult grandchildren in Wales she is working full time and her hubby has to work away a lot, and it will be nice to be able to go to their sports day etc.
By buying the much smaller house we are thinking of will leave us financially comfortable, so why am I feeling so emotional about moving, I like my house but it’s much to big for the two of us.
I keep thinking of the grandkids having all their Christmas's here but I have that all on dvd , or is it that I’m leaving Wales where I’ve always lived, will they accept me being Welsh in Gloucester.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me my older grandkids can drive so can visit but I get emotional just thinking about it whereby before I sold my house I was really looking forward to the move.

Has anybody downsized to a retirement apartment? There is a complex being built here and wonder whether this would be for us. Still fit and able so far but thinking about tomorrow. I like the idea of security and emergency assistance but not too sure about the communal room not being very chatty and sociable!

I downsized from 1600 sq feet to 1200 sq feet, they still called it 4 bedrooms but I put in wardrobes and now have 1 double with not much empty space, 2 singles and a dinky which is fine with a desk and a chair. It is a perfect size for me with all my hobbies and I could put some visitors up, stashed 2 aerobeds under a spare bed. Thats what happens with new builds, the measurements include the alcove, the obvious place to put a wardrobe.

I am still clearing out but slowly now, sorting a drawer at a time while getting on with life. I love being in a cosy home btw, enough sunny garden, warm home and not a heck of a lot of cleaning

bluesky, it would not do for me. I made sure that my house was not far from buses and shops and new build all have downstairs cloakrooms. The stairs are wide enough for `just in case` a stairlift. The garage is essential, for hobbies, bike and fuel storage. The older I get the more I do. Being with oldies would not be my cup of tea and neither would being with teenagers. I hit lucky