Downsizing

Thank you all for your kind replies

Lesley60 - it is so normal to feel so very ambivalent about making such a large move. Any change is difficult, even more so as we get older - and moving is such a BIG decision. However, if you look at the House Moving Stress thread, and scroll through the stories on there, you will see that we have all had these doubts - and all, once moved, have been so very happy that they did so.
During this horrible process (selling/buying) I actually wrote somewhere, that I was in such a state as every time the sale, etc seemed to be going well - I became more and more scared of moving, and every time a problem arose and it seemed as if I might have to stay put - I became desperate to move,. We are contrary creatures!!
I am sure you have given much thought on this move and change of area - just go with it and I am certain that in no time at all you will be saying how happy you are.

Yes teddymac it is a big decision but if you feel that you have weighed up all the pros and cons then go for it. We relocated and were looking for a similar sized 3 bedroom house and ended up with a 4 bedroom because we fell in love with the house. It is one of the best decisions we have ever made, we love it here. I am sure that things will work out for you and you will be very happy.

Lesley60 it's normal to have doubts. I did before I moved. I was worrying about if I hated the area and people around me. Would I like living in my my 2 bed bungalow. Would I find a good GP. How is was it to get about on the buses. Plus a million and one silly little things. But I love it here. The area is lovely, friendly neighbours, easy to get the buses, got a good GP and the pharmacy I use deliveries my tablets. Love my bungalow . I haven't slept so well for years. I moved here in August to be nearer my family. I moved over a 100 miles to be here. I haven't found any negatives . My health hasn't been great since I moved but that's me and not moving. The health care I have received has been excellent better than my old health authority. I get to see my family weekly and my grandsons love coming here. I have joined a craft group, sit fit class and U3A. Made new friends.

I moved on my own as I am a widow and 61.

Think about all the things you have to look forward to. Spending time with family, making new friends, making your new house into a home. Life is to short for what if's.

I’m in a right state about moving, we have lived in our lovely 4 bed detached since it was built 21 years ago, it’s near my eldest daughter and her three now grown up kids, who we helped with a lot since they were born.
Now that we have retired we have decided to downsize and move 2 hrs away close to my youngest daughter and her little ones so that we can help out and it’s a nicer part of the country.
The problem is we are almost ready to exchange contracts on our house but I keep having doubts about the house we are buying, it’s a more expensive area so you don’t get so much for your money, but I would be closer to my daughter and little grandkids.

I would say it is also important to keep downsizing `stuff`. I have been doing that again this week. It`s always like a weight off when stuff goes or is rotated ie stuff goes out when other stuff comes in but I do try to weigh the balance in favour of downsize

I have twice downsized. When I was 63 yrs old I sold the large, Edwardian five bedroom family house and moved to a 3 bedroom 1930 terraced house a mile away. Was still working then and had two of my AC living nearby. One of the first thing I had to do with the new house, was have the loft done to accommodate another daughter who lived a good way away and kept having babies!!!
Turned that loft into a good sized room to accommodate, two full size singled beds, etc. Eventually, that became a good storage age.
whilst I worked, I completely sorted this house making it (what I thought would be) retirement ready. Had en-suite to my large main bedroom, updated small downstairs toilet, had Amtico flooring in through lounge, etc. etc. Probably , over the the first eight years spent in the region of 60 -70,000 pounds, with building work, maintenance work, and decorating and furnishing.
I retired just before my 70th birthday, and relaxed happily into my lovely house. One of those children near to me had to move far away with his job. But I was able to help out with other daughters little girl (she was a single parent), throughout nursery and primary school years.
Unfortunately, there has been a deterioration in my health and some accidents and falls have given me some mobility issues. The stairs in the house loomed like Everest particularly at night.
Thought of a stair lift - but was not really the answer.
Anyway, due to other external issues, I finally managed to make the final downsize a couple of months ago.
Moved into a good sized 2-bedroom flat far away from where I had lived previously, but close to that daughter who had kept on having babies (she had four in total). They are all now all growing up.
I am loving this , wonderful living all on on level. Housework is a doddle - so little to be done. Got rid of masses of stuff before I moved - (I spent four years sorting out and getting rid). For the past couple of years any new furniture I have purchased has been with the thought in mind of going into a flat.
I looked at retirement properties, but found them all much too small, and expensive. I do have a spare bedroom, but am not keen on having people to stay. If any of my children wish to visit they can stay at one of the many hotels nearby (I am in sea-side town). Can manage to have six comfortably and eight at a squash round my new extendable dining table. But I am now not in the place where I want to do much entertaining.
When I said to one of my children recently, that I should have moved to a flat years ago, they told me that I was not in the right place for that until the last couple of year.
Must say, the stress of selling and buying at the age of 78 yrs was enormous, my story is told in detail on the other thread regarding the stress of house moving.
But I am so very glad I did this now. I still feel that I am on holiday and absolutely loving it. Must say, the flat does have good sized rooms and hallway, so at no time do I get the feeling of wanting to push out walls.
So very pleased that I have now done this and can relax and enjoy whatever years I have left in comfort.

We bought our retirement home 8 yrs ago everyone thought we were mad leaving our big 3 bed semi for a 1950s pokey 2 bed split level bungalow with large gardens.It was at a time when few propertys selling.It was near our ACs and new young families, ideal we thought to help with Gc x4. Very small rooms but lovely family dining room.We do love the outlook and country feel it has, but over 8yrs our health and enthusiasm has wavered and the gardens we thought made easy are too much for us and we think there are issues with property which will make it hard to sell and expensive to maintain.Everyone seems to be constantly updating their decor,which we did 8yrs ago but now realise it will be impossible to redo and keep up into old age.We have no neighbours and can go weeks without speaking anyone.My worry is when we are 1 and GCs no longer need us, as they rightly will the house will be so dated and unsellable.We do love it NOW but i feel long term it was a bad move and worry constantly about being on my own in an old property that cannot sell or maintain.

Lesley, I lived in Wales for 40 years, a few years in north and 35 years in the vale of glamorgan. I loved wales so much but sometimes you just have to look ahead and bite that bullet. Once you make that important decision and start to give some things away, the house seems to loosen its grip and you start to look forward and not back.

bluesky, it would not do for me. I made sure that my house was not far from buses and shops and new build all have downstairs cloakrooms. The stairs are wide enough for `just in case` a stairlift. The garage is essential, for hobbies, bike and fuel storage. The older I get the more I do. Being with oldies would not be my cup of tea and neither would being with teenagers. I hit lucky

I downsized from 1600 sq feet to 1200 sq feet, they still called it 4 bedrooms but I put in wardrobes and now have 1 double with not much empty space, 2 singles and a dinky which is fine with a desk and a chair. It is a perfect size for me with all my hobbies and I could put some visitors up, stashed 2 aerobeds under a spare bed. Thats what happens with new builds, the measurements include the alcove, the obvious place to put a wardrobe.

I am still clearing out but slowly now, sorting a drawer at a time while getting on with life. I love being in a cosy home btw, enough sunny garden, warm home and not a heck of a lot of cleaning

Has anybody downsized to a retirement apartment? There is a complex being built here and wonder whether this would be for us. Still fit and able so far but thinking about tomorrow. I like the idea of security and emergency assistance but not too sure about the communal room not being very chatty and sociable!

I’ve just sold my 4 bed detached house in Wales which we’ve been living in for 22 yrs since it was built, and seen most of our grandkids grow up
It’s only been a few days since we sold and we’ve decided to go and live near my daughter in Gloucester so that we can help out with her young family as we did with our now adult grandchildren in Wales she is working full time and her hubby has to work away a lot, and it will be nice to be able to go to their sports day etc.
By buying the much smaller house we are thinking of will leave us financially comfortable, so why am I feeling so emotional about moving, I like my house but it’s much to big for the two of us.
I keep thinking of the grandkids having all their Christmas's here but I have that all on dvd , or is it that I’m leaving Wales where I’ve always lived, will they accept me being Welsh in Gloucester.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me my older grandkids can drive so can visit but I get emotional just thinking about it whereby before I sold my house I was really looking forward to the move.

Lots of chats re downsizing - doing nothing yet ?. Love visitors but like my mum used to say “visitors are like fish - lovely but starts to go off after 3 days “?

I have been weighing up the pros and cons of downsizing for quite a while now and of course all the while we are getting older. My husband has Alzheimers and his short term memory is virtually non existent. Although, when we are out and he chats and jokes with people I am sure that they wouldn't think that there is anything wrong with him, unless he was with them for any length of time and kept asking the same questions or telling them the same stories. When we talk about moving he is all for it but in his head at that time he is the same as he used to be. I would like to move to a 2 bedroom house that was easier to clean. I have found an area where property is cheaper than where we live and it seems a nice town. Our youngest son lives near to there and one of our grand-daughters lives in the small town. Our grand-daughter is going to take us there to spend a day looking round. There are more doctors' surgeries there, while at our doctors we have to wait about 3 weeks for an appointment which is worrying. The local council are going to build thousands of flats/houses nearby, some on a small patch of green just a short way along the road that is supposed to be for children to play on. There will be more traffic and possible parking problems. The upside of living here is that we have lovely neighbours either side, a good bus service, one bus goes right into our local hospital. Also a supermarket nearby. I know that our daughter and two sons would help us when it came to moving but are we too old now to undertake this step? The hassle of changing addresses on everything and sorting out gas/electricity etc. The other option is to stay where we are and get some decorating done and spruce everywhere up a bit. Our eldest son is a builder and said that he would redo the bathroom and put in a walk in shower. Has anyone else downsized when they were just over 80? We are still reasonably fit, no walking sticks yet and I still cycle.

This thread started nearly seven years ago - I wonder if the OP downsized in the end!

A lot of familiar names no longer posting.

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We got as far as making the appointment for house pics, then I faltered because I couldn’t immediately find what we wanted. My son said he was sad about it and I totally caved in! Now I feel disappointed with myself. I’d like the challenge of a new location. I want to be brave and go for it!

We have a large 4 bedroomed house and are planning a extension to give us a a utility room and a bigger kitchen. We are in our mid-70s and intend to continue as we are as long as possible.

When we downsize it will be to get a much smaller garden rather than a smaller house.

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Teddymac -myself and several of my friends have been in a very similar position and know that this feels like a huge decision to make by yourself. Especially when previously you and your late husband would have done this together. What is holding you back? Is it the fear of the sheer volume of work and upheaval of a move? Is it the fear of losing the memories in your family home? Is it comments from the children about leaving their childhood home?

The upheaval is only for a short while. You will move on and enjoy a better lifestyle in a smaller property with lower running costs. The family memories will stay with you wherever you go and probably be all the sweeter. Your children are grown ups with their own lives and homes, they are creating their own family memories just as you and your husband did thirty years ago. You owe it to yourself to make your life easier. Not one of us has regretted our decisions. Even a friend who rented out her house in case she hated moving and wanted to go back ended up selling it as she was so happy in her new home.

You say you've found a house you like, so you must be quite seriously looking at downsizing. Looking at the whole picture of what needs doing can be scary. Don't panic, take it step by step and good luck with whatever you decide to do.

We downsized 3 years ago from a large stone detached period house in the North West to a 2 bedroom Victorian terrace in a picturesque town in West Sussex. We had a large kitchen extension built on and the downstairs is all open plan. 18 months after we moved we had a large house warming party with 40 people, easlly accommadated, just by moving the furniture to the walls.

Space for ourselves as individuals is managed by having an isulated / air conditioned, garden office (looks like a large summer house) at the end of the garden. This houses a computer, piano and an Ikea fold up sofa bed & is my husband's bolt hole. We can sleep 4 extra guests.

The money we released allowed us to have the house completely overhauled to our tastes (simple Swedish style), have the long thin garden designed and lansdscaped and buy a motorhome. Not all is perfect though - we have a 26 foot garage which is still housing some inherited furniture and a loft containing former soft furnishings & stuff my daughter doesn't want us to get rid of. Most difficult possesions to weed out were my books but some of those have been replaced on my Kindle -and we still have a wall of books.

Basically we are living the dream with a lot less housework and a great lifestyle. We can walk to to restaurants and shops 15 minutes away, entertain family & friends - or plead lack of space if we don't want particular visitors. And we can take off in our motorhome - just got back from southern Sweden.

Oh and the utility bills are less than half we paid before - important when you are on a fixed income! And I am never cold - I was in a large drafty old house!

Ariadne - thinking of you and have my fingers crossed for your getting a quick sale. It is hard keeping your own optimism going when DH is being so needy of encouragement. You only need one buyer though and it will happen!

We are signing contracts on Monday ready to exchange next week and complete on 31 May so it really does happen even if it can take time. We started - and gave up the process 18 months ago because I got cold feet when we only got one viewing in three months.

Decided to try again in March and have sold to the daughter of friends! Didn't even need an estate agent and the house we found is perfect for us and needs nothing doing to it.

I do think the limbo you are in, even when you find a buyer, between agreeing sales/purchases and completion is terribly nerve racking and there must be a better and less fraught way of doing it!

Don't hesitate, it's terribly important to downsize while you still can. Its an exhausting business, but you can enjoy doing up a new house, and making sure it will be easy and practical for when you get really old and creaky. (I put in a low bath , which is very easy to get in and out of.) It took me three years to sell the house in Devon, and getting rid of so much was heart-breaking, especially my books, but in the end I found the clutter-free look a relief. We moved from a small village to the edge of a town with lots of amenities, and it has been a huge success. We have a variety of neighbourhood shops, DH can walk into the centre, and I hop onto a (free) bus for shopping, and the cinema, a great joy. It's sad not to be able to host family parties any more, but I don't think I could anyway, and one can always contribute with food or drink. One DD lives 30 minutes away, and the other can stay with her if needed, so we can still all get together for Christmas and birthdays. Devon was beautiful, but too far away. Now we are in the Midlands we get far more people dropping in, which is lovely. So, teddymac take a deep breath, and go for it! Give yourself lots of time to enjoy a simpler life.