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Life in the Slow Lane

(128 Posts)
cortina Sun 28-Apr-13 23:39:31

I grew up in a village where everybody knew everyone else. I met my future wife in a nearby town at the age of seventeen and married at nineteen. We bought our first house in the village, a brownstone cottage with spiders as big as small dogs. My new wife, by now a twenty year old childsnatcher, joined me in our new home. She did a two year probationary period where the locals would only speak to her if I was with her but after that she was accepted and respected.

Most of the village social life was in the pubs, one of which had a thatched roof with wet sacks over the beer barrels. The village elders would have their favourite seat. If you happened to be in their seat when they came in you gave up the seat, nothing needed to be said.

The village had a wide range of Characters. One lovely old chap would come into the pub, go up to the bar and order a pint costing 11d, thats 11d not 11p, go to his favourite seat,take a drink of beer and with a lovely smile would always say " You think you're alright when you Ain't ( = are not ). I thought then and still do what wise words they were, I just wish that I knew what they mean. He was by profession a Bookies Runner. This was before the days of Herge's Adventures of Tinternet.

When we started our family, a daughter and a son,we moved to the city.

Last year I lost my darlng wife after 57 years of hardly ever apart.

I now live in the city in an empty house.

How do you spell Cartharsis? - Is it good for you?

Is Nostalgia a thing of the past? ( Or how the Hell do you get through it )

Today my daughter took myself and my Great grandson to a Meet the Animals farm and lunch, laughter all the way.

Nil Desperandum

Enviousamerican Mon 29-Apr-13 00:31:55

I believe you could write a few good stories from your life.I know I would love to hear more and others here might also.let us hear more! smile

numberplease Mon 29-Apr-13 15:40:04

Cortina, I well remember the days of the bookies runner. The one who came to pick up our family`s bets was a little hunch-backed man known as Little Johnny.

FlicketyB Mon 29-Apr-13 16:04:13

Cortina, I haven't seen your name before, so if you are new, welcome. How difficult life is at present for you, but already you are beginning on the route that will bring you happiness and contentment despite your loss

My own DF was widowed when my DM died after 55 years of happiness together. It was the first time in his life he had ever lived on his own. The wound of his loss never left him, but after the first shock and grief he determined to shape a single life for himself. He resumed his usual activities, which all took him out of the house and among other people. Watching a Delia Smith programme by chance, he expanded his cooking repertoire. His trifles and Victoria sponges became much in demand at social gatherings, fetes and bazaars.

He lived a satisfying and enjoyable life for another 10 years and saw the birth of his first great grandchild shortly before he died.

What, of course he didn't have was Gransnet, a network of people who will support you and whose views you will love, hate, laugh out loud at and help you rejoin the world in your new truncated state.

bookdreamer Mon 29-Apr-13 16:34:12

What a lovely post FlicketyB!

FlicketyB Mon 29-Apr-13 23:13:46

Bookdreamer, thank you

cortina Tue 30-Apr-13 20:43:13

numberplease

Small world?

My grandparents came from the Fens.

Our first house, the brownstone cottage, we bought from a Mr and Mrs Sutcliffe

cortina Tue 30-Apr-13 21:27:17

Enviousamerican

Maybe one day I'll tell you the story of a daytrip to the seaside, a coachtrip to Skeggie.

If you look for it on Tinternet (Herges adventures of) spell it Skegness.

cortina Tue 30-Apr-13 21:34:40

FlicketyB

Thank you for your kind words

Enviousamerican Tue 30-Apr-13 21:53:14

Cortina,are you referring to the Adventures of Tintin?

Enviousamerican Tue 30-Apr-13 21:55:30

Oh you were! Sorry,I reread your post. I will look into reading that.I have never heard of it.

cortina Tue 30-Apr-13 22:07:33

Apologies to all that read and answered my ramblings, it was after all late at night, the nurse told me today that 2 or 3 glasses of wine every evening was too much.

It's either that or anti-depressants.

I reluctantly agreed to take them (only 2) and passed out, as if someone had switched the light off, on the kitchen floor. I refused to take any more.

I wrongly typed ' my daring wife '

She was daring but I meant to say Darling wife.

If she saw this she would laugh and say ' Silly sod'

Sel Tue 30-Apr-13 22:20:54

Cortina sounds as if she'd laugh with you - no apologies required. Keep posting, it might fill a tiny piece of the hole wine

NfkDumpling Tue 30-Apr-13 22:21:22

She sounds like a lovely lady. flowers

Welcome to Gransnet. wine

Notso Tue 30-Apr-13 22:28:49

She may say 'Silly sod' cortina but I'm sure she'd have a big smile on her face!

I love your sense of humour smile Don't apologise for ramblings....by this time of night there'll be a good few of us who've had a glass or three of wine. (Made from grapes, counts towards your 5 a day)

I hope we get to hear more of your past adventures!

merlotgran Tue 30-Apr-13 22:34:12

I live on the Fens, cortina and also enjoy a glass or three of wine grin

Flowerofthewest Tue 30-Apr-13 23:07:08

What a fantastic story and what a wonderful character you sound to be Cortina, (my father's second car was a cortina and he came from the Fens) a link here. Do keep us entertained with you stories, also we are here to support and give great big virtual hugs.

Your wife sounds lovely too. If you are from the Fens do you know what a Piffy up a stick is? ie He/she stood there like a piffy up a stick. One of my father's favourite sayings.

cortina Tue 30-Apr-13 23:24:00

Thank you to all of you lovely ladies, once again late at night.

Thank you for all of your kind comments and support.

Men can't speak to men in this situation, women understand.

I have been advised that their are 7 stages of what seems to me to be a process that has to be endured.

I cannot turn off 57 years, I cannot let go.

How do you turn off the pain.

I write this as a Silly old Sod with tears running down my face.

I don't write this for sympathy, I am trying to learn to deal with it.

cortina Tue 30-Apr-13 23:56:59

Once again - Thank you Ladies

When I get through these difficult times please remind me to tell you the story of 'Stop that Stanley'

MiceElf Wed 01-May-13 06:57:11

I hope you had a good night Cortina and that the morning light has brought some consolation.

Does your name refer to the car? My father drove one of these, changed it every two years and loved them to bits.

Notso Wed 01-May-13 07:15:46

If you did have a Cortina....did you also have the fluffy dice to go with it?

If I had a Silly Old Sod badge I'd wear it with pride (Crying is fine, it re-hydrates the skin smile)

You can't turn off the pain cortina, but you can find real or virtual people to share it with....like the other S.O.S.s on Gransnet.

With such a loss in your life the 'experts' say things will get better over time. Well I'm almost 10 years along that timeline and found fairly early on that things don't get better, but they do get different.

You'll be fine smile

Looking forward to hearing about Stanley. Is it a cat? A dog? A child? A knife?

NfkDumpling Wed 01-May-13 07:33:03

We always had Cortinas. When our last one with it's frilly rusty bottom limped off up the road to be replaced by a lovely shiny Montego estate our eldest DD cried for two days!

glassortwo Wed 01-May-13 07:47:01

cortina flowers come and ramble whenever you need to , its good to have someone to listen and there is always someoen about on here.
Our first car was an old blue cortina cost £15, I can still smell the old creased leather interior now, the first trip we made in it was to York just seems like yesterday, traded it in for a new White Escort which wasnt half the car the cortina was.
sunshine

numberplease Wed 01-May-13 16:47:35

Cortina, I forgot to say the other day, Welcome to Gransnet winecupcake[cuppa].

I don`t come from the Fens, although I`m not far away in my adopted Boston, but what a coincidence, your first house was bought from a Mr and Mrs Sutcliffe, my maiden name was Sutcliffe!
I hope you`re having a better day today, and that the Mayday sun is shining on you.sunshine

cortina Wed 01-May-13 23:01:53

Once again thanks to all of you for your kind words particularly regarding my wife, my Baba.

I didn't realize that I would get so many responses so a collective Thank you.

She had a great sense of humour. I would take her hand in both of mine and look into her lovely eyes and say - " Take my hand, I will lead you to Paradise".

She could have said " I'll look forward to that " or " Wait til it's dark "
What she did say was either " You've had that " ( and I couldn't remember if I had ) or " Sod off ". And then we would laugh.

What makes the past 12 months so difficult is that prior to that we were both lucky in that neither of us were ever ill other than the usual minor ailments.

As to Cortinas my last and quite recent was a 1600E which I had restored.

I didn't have Fluffly Dice but I did have a Nodding Dog on the back shelf.

Nil Desperandum