Relocation

We choose a small market town too *Letitia, and it's worked brilliantly, although we didn't move to far so we've been able to stay in touch with old friends. The advantage is being able to walk to the shops, doctors, dentist, etc. and there's plenty going on with diverse groups to join. We used to live in a suburb of Norwich but had to use the car for everything.

We are only about an hour and a quarter/half away from where we used to live and so can easily keep in touch with old friends- it is a consideration.

I moved after my OH passed away. It was a complicated and stressful time but I've been settled in my new flat for nearly a year. Two of my sons live quite close but I try not to rely on them if possible.

I tried lots of groups and some were great and others not so good. I have settled with 3 which I enjoy and am making new friends. I have a local shop which sells essentials, a big supermarket about 5 mins away, a library also 5 mins away and the doctor is within walking distance.

I takes time to settle in to a new area and I only moved about four miles so you have to be patient and not expect it all to be wonderful straight away.

I feel alarmed when I watch relocation programmes and see couples buying properties miles from anywhere. I can't help wondering how on earth they'll cope if one of them falls ill or dies or if they can't drive because of ill health.

I live in a suburb which is as big as some small towns and the city centre if about 5 miles away. The only flaw in the plan is I now live a long way from the central hospital but you can't have everything. Careful planning and compromise are the key.

I'm finding this a fascinating discussion and hope your move goes well Granny1.

We are planning to move from our home of 30+ years. We have a small farm in the NE and our nearest neighbour is over 1 mile away in any direction, but we have reduced our farming activities and will retire completely at the end of next autumn. Our move will be to East Anglia, within child minding range of our grandchildren, and it will be much easier to get to London (other son) and Hertfordshire (MIL). We are hoping to be closer to 'civilisation' when we move, but we still need at least a paddock for the 3 horses and DH keeps growling 'too near people' when we go to look at anything!

It all makes sense in my head and, when we're with the grandchildren it breaks my heart to leave them, but I'm finding the prospect of leaving our beautiful home in its amazing setting very daunting. I'm also worried about DH, he doesn't do hobbies, what will he do with himself? It's good to hear positive stories from those who've done it.

We moved to Devon three years ago (gransnetters saw me through the house selling / buying traumas!) and have never regretted it. But I think a bit of "future proofing" is necessary - being not too far out in the country, perhaps, near to medical services, shops and supermarkets without having them on your doorstep etc. etc. it really is the best move we ever made - and DD and two oldest DGC are ten minutes away.

If you need a paddock or two Ginny you'll have a bit of a buffer from the outside world. Such places do exist on the edges or within easy reach of towns. I fear though that if you want to be within reach of London such a property won't come cheap!

our relocation was for entirely different reasons we had to move from our roots to flee from violence ...any one who knew me on here as nelliedean may remember my story,we literally had two weeks in which to decide on an area pack up and go,we chose Norfolk ..nt much time to do homework choose schools for E we where under police protection and had to be buried away where we couldn't be found,leaving all family and longstanding friends behind.In the first village we where treated with suspicion and with a school age child and need for secrecy made making friends nigh on impossible apart from U3A there where very little activities and although trying U3A,found that I just didn't fit in or feel welcome,especially as the groups where held in homes of the other members....school gates didn't fit in outsider and too old.We did a mutual exchange this village is exactly same but everyone is related and now I have retired OH needs car for work,and I find limited bus service,not yet got bus pass limited funds and expensive teenager..in between 6th form college and leaving school ...no work for her she has handed out CVs as very little work unless you know somebody and the work is passed through friends and families....I am crawling the walls,have had to give up volunteering because of car /bus situation as it was 46 mile round trip and it also became impossible with paying car parking and petrol in advance as I couldnt afford it as I have to wait a month for expenses to be paid....that is our experience we have no social life.....sorry to say that today am feeling quite pathetic and sorry for myself,I am proactive book club was unsuccessful went for a year and joined in with activities arising from it but stayed very much an outsider,same with needlework group...WI am terrified of joining after last experiences.....so I would say do your homework before hand ...sorry about the whinge and moan feeling like Billy no mates today.....and now I will probably kill this thread off just like I do all the others..

Can you exchange again? Perhaps to a small town? We're not all so standoffish? Honest!

I've just lost a post I made, just wanted to say that I couldn't let you be the last to post and I'm quite good at doing that myself.

I wanted to say that I'm so sorry that you feel so very low today. You come over as a naturally positive person and maybe the fact that you can't be yourself and chat openly makes it much harder to make friends, especially in a village that doesn't accept 'outsiders'.
Is there anyway you could do telephone volunteering? Or move? I'm clutching at straws here!

Thank goodness for GN eh?

Oh, Down, I'm so sorry things aren't working out for you, it must be miserable being in an isolated position where your neighbours treat you with suspicion. I had that when the boys were very small, we were on the outskirts of a Midlands village where everyone seemed to be related and I actually had people pointedly turn their back on me as I pushed the buggy to the local shop. Luckily we met a few other 'incomers' who were lovely and we joined a very welcoming dog training club in the nearest town, however I wasn't sad to leave when we came up here. Is it worth looking for another move where you could be closer to more amenities?

I hope your experience isn't indicative of Norfolk as that's where we're moving to. We want to be near our son and family, but need to make our own lives there as well, we can't just rely on them.

We've looked at a few places Dumpling, they do seem to be around. We don't need loads of land any more, all we have now is 3 Dales ponies, two of them in their 20s, and agree on the practicalities when we're talking about it, all the stuff about being within easy reach of shops, doctors etc, but DH turns and bolts when he spots another house on the horizon .

Ooh, I like Dales ponies!

I'm North Norfolk and we're friendly around here, but I suspect you're looking more to the west or south if you need to get out! It takes an hour to get from here to Thetford!

There's plenty of space south of Kings Lynn. But they're a rum lot over there!

down that is very sad and it must also be very difficult to get to grips with such a new life. Did the little one find school OK and was she accepted? Has she now finished all her schooling or is she just in holiday before starting a college.
I dare say that because of your situation you would be extremely careful in how you approached people and what you said - maybe this made you seem a little unfriendly too. Do you still have any support from People who assisted in getting your new life underway? You are in a difficult position and I so sympathise - some areas are inhabited by people who have such a network of friends and relatives that they do not notice the needs of a newcomer. I have had this myself when I moved 160 miles away and was on my own with a new job eventually etc. I have no idea really of a solution as I found only one reasonably close friend although I eventually had a number of acquaintances - it is a bit easier now we are in France. A pity that you are not in Yorkshire as my DD has recently moved there completely on her own for several reasons and finds life difficult althoigh she jas a very good job. She has started to make a few friends but friendships do take a while to build.
I send you hugs and wish you luck. X x x

thanks nfk sloe and dusty am having a bad day today,when I have the car and was able to volunteer I am ok out and about and pottering that the lack of social contact wasn't so obvious,not having the car now and not seeing a soul all day and knowing that there isn't a friend to call on and say shall we?...the nearest smallish town is swaffham and am equally distanced between Norwich and kings lynn,we have looked for exchanges but swaffham is hard to move too as bus links are good and things are localised.If you have family near it is helpful,and I truly love Norfolk for the scenery and the peace.I will continue searching for something but lack of transport makes it so difficult,and the trip to the local pub is not for the faint hearted as a deathly hush falls as you walk through the door I swear the tumble weed blows through.I am sure you will love Norfolk sloe as you will have a lot in common with other people who have horses.

Hi Bez E is in the twilight zone she has finished school and waiting to go to 6th form college.She has found it hard to fit in,and being mixed race is somewhat a rarity in these parts,and it is true about the need for being careful with what you say to who,but I am a chatty person who can speak easily to people,I just think that it is an inbuilt lack of trust in strangers here that is the problem people have jokingly said that 20 years is around the time newcomers get accepted,I am quite happy with my own company ,but OH is a lot younger than me and is at work it would be nice to have company on days out when my bus pass finally arrives...am getting on my own nerves today and hate not having a sense of purpose as I am used to being busy and active,but thanks for the support and warmth today [tea] [cake]

nfk have been to south lynn I am classed as west lynn..

SloeGinny and downtoearth, Don't rule out Cambridgeshire in your search for somewhere to relocate to in East Anglia. Property is very expensive close to Cambridge itself but not so bad out in the sticks. There are some good bus and train links but it depends where you are. Some villages are very isolated but that's typical of anywhere really.

We moved from Norfolk in the late seventies and I have to say I found Fen people really unfriendly compared to Norfolk where we had lots of friends but so many people have re-located here thanks to better employment prospects that it's completely different now.

The scenery is better the closer you are to the Norfolk or Suffolk borders.

So sorry about your plight, downtoearth. You deserve better. If you are wary about the WI, have you investigated the NWR (National Women's Register)? They meet in each others' homes and choose topics, preferably non-domestic. Ours also has a book group and if you ask at the local library you might find that there's a choice of book groups, if you enjoy reading. We lived in Norfolk for 7 years, 30 - 37 years ago, in a big, straggly village on the A10 south of KL where, fortunately, many residents were also incomers. I made friends at the school gate because the DSs were still young enough to be met by mum. New friends were members of NHR (as it was then) and I got involved straight away. Good luck to you DtE. I wouldn't want to be marooned in a Norfolk village without transport either.

Yes, know what you mean about your daughter Down, it does appear to be pretty mono-cultural where son lives, until you hear the Eastern European accents.

This is really spooky! It's North Norfolk we're moving to, we need to be within 30 minutes of Snettisham, so looking as far as Swaffham, and a lot of the places with land are south of Kings Lynn. Being pretty rum ourselves, maybe we'll just fit right in .

I think we'll have to have a Grans get-together when we get down there, the 3 of us on a Girls Big Day Out! They won't know what's hit 'em!

In the meantime, chin up Down and keep chatting on here. Have a and some

Hi Merlot we have to stay put for a while as E is just about to start 6th form that also has an apprenticeship as part of the work she will be doing.Swaffham is probably the best bet to aim our sights at where E is based for school/apprenticeship,...or I win the lottery and can afford another car for myselfxx

well that sounds positive Norfolk meet ups are a bit thin on the ground,are you sure Norfolk is ready for us..

Anno Was going to google NWR to see if there is one locally,it hasn't been posted in our parish magazine ,at the moment am grounded due to lack of transport (not bad behaviour) so would find it difficult to get to places,but am pretty tenacious and will keep lookingxx

Good luck Nellie downtoearth! I'm sure something will turn up...

Swaffham is nice. Stephen Fry likes it! If we didn't sail we'd have considered it when we moved, but it's a bit too far from the Broads. Certainly town living makes integration easier.

Sloe have you looked to the east? Fakenham is nice with a lot of open country around it - and Holt reeeeallly nice! Both would be within half an hour (Holt just). We're further east still but the villages get close together the nearer you get to the Broads, so your DH might find it too populated!

Was the series "Kingdom" filmed any where near Swaffham? The scenery was lovely we watched it mainly for that,