oh I'm the guilty party of the 'cess pit' comment.
For me its the smell of a home to start with. I'm not advocating flowery and fresh as necessary but I am sure you have all walked into a home and there has been an unidentified odour that you know could be eradicated with a decent clean.
I don't mind mess, families with children live in a certain level of untidiness.
I do mind about unclean toilets, kitchens and bathrooms. No excuses there I'm afraid.
I don't mind untidiness but I do mind dirt. I'm not talking about a floor with muddy footprints from the kids or pets necessarily - that's easily remedied. But the spill that hasn't been moped up so has left a stain , or the pile of clean clothes that has waited to be either ironed or put away that its now dirty again from being piled up, knocked over etc etc.
Bear in mind I am talking about 'minding' in my own families homes. Strangers can do as they like, none of my business but first and foremost, no matter how old my daughters get , I am their Mum . Not their friend - so I have to say the hard stuff not just the lovely stuff. And before everyone automatically assumes my daughters live in filth - they don't {smile] but now and again...a nudge is needed.