Granny flat

It's a risk to take. I have a similar relationship with one of my DILs and wouldn't contemplate it. What if, a few years down the line, they decide to move, where would that leave you then?

My other DIL suggested I sell my house and 'buy in' with them and renovate a large house with a natural 'granny flat'. Apart from the fact I am nowhere near ready for that yet, but I have to consider my other son, and his share of the inheritance in the future.

You need to be confident of what would happen if DS decided to move home for any reason. I have a friend who lives with her DD and has done so for years - initially DD living in the granny flat and eventually changing over. DS and his family are a settled bunch and like living in their 'nest' whereas DD has a tendency to want to move house every few years because she loves the challenge of making changes etc - I have noticed also she has been worse since she became divorced - I am hoping the house she is now in the process of buying will be her home for a good while as she only moved this time (250 miles) because of her job.
Think around all the scenarios before jumping in - will this move involve you putting a substantial amount of cash into the project - if so will you actually then have a share of the property - it can be done quite easily.

We've moved into a granny flat in our own garden and DD1 and the DGCs have moved into our bungalow. It's working well because it's our property and she is our tenant. Her partner has his own home and they don't always spend weekends together here so we don't see a lot of him BUT if the tables were turned and they wanted us to be in their garden I wouldn't contemplate it...Not for one moment!

Even if you get on well with your DS, if you already have to tread carefully with DIL it sounds like a recipe for disaster. Once you are in there'll be no turning back and even a small disagreement could escalate and make your life hell.

I know it works well in a lot of cases but not unless you are 100% confident that the relationship will be a happy one.

Its going to take careful consideration as this type of arrangement can work really well as long as everyone respects each others right to privacy etc.
I think I'd make a list of pros and cons, what you will gain and lose and also what your son a DIL will gain and lose. Could your DIL be in favour as she will gain a handy baby sitter or might it help them finanacially?
Knowing a bit about the circumstances (whether you own a home and would be selling, who pays for the build of the granny flat) would help us to make suggestions.

Definitely not, in that case.

what a dilemna! If you have to tread carefully around your dil think very carefully about wether you could live in such a close proximity ....I personally wouldnt if there was tension there already....not only that what would you be leaving behind...