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House and home

"I don't have that problem"

(62 Posts)
maryhoffman37 Wed 20-Sept-17 10:13:51

My husband and I were still in bed, listening to the radio at about 6.30am when we heard an item on the Today programme that made us both gasp. A man was being interviewed about a a new gadget called Google glasses and John Humphreys asked him if he could walk down the street ordering his shopping. The man - I didn't catch his name - replied "Well, I'm married so I don't have that problem." There was a sharp intake of breath from both of us and I asked, "is this the 21st century?" What do you think? Is shopping still "a wife's job"?

CardiffJaguar Thu 21-Sept-17 11:27:53

I had to undertake 'shopping duties' when I was eight. That soon taught me how to deal with people behind the counter and long before we had any supermarkets.

Today shopping is so much easier and it enables me to find those new products that my family may take a fancy to. So I do about half the shopping; my wife insists on doing those bits she wants to make choices about such as fresh meat. We often do the shopping together which saves a lot of time.

Lupatria Thu 21-Sept-17 11:31:03

there's no husband or partner in my household! just myself, my daughter and two grandaughters.
i do the main shop online at tesco, asda and, occasionally, sainsbury's. it gets delivered to the door and the grandaughters put it away.
my daughter does any top up shopping on her way home from work [on the days she works].
now and again i'll get her to take me to the supermarket but need to use their disabled buggy thingies .............. you'd be surprised how something so big can just disappear! nobody seems to see me - and i'm a larger lady! but people walk into the buggy from all sides and never to look to see if i'm there. and, of course, it seems that everything i need is on the top shelf so i have to stand up [not an easy task] to reach - and there's never anyone around to help.
another problem is that there are families and couples all grouped around the items i need [well sometimes] discussing, for instance, which butter they want to get this week or how many packs.
or there'll be the "spare" husband parked at the end of the aisle with the trolley and told to "stay there" while his wife goes up and down to get what they need - poor chap he's always in someone's way.
by the way, when i did have a husband, i always did the shopping on my own as he'd always complicate things and it would cost so much more as he just fancied this and that.
i hate shopping!!!

Kim19 Thu 21-Sept-17 11:33:10

Never was in this household.

W11girl Thu 21-Sept-17 11:35:38

Definitely not. However, I do like to buy the household items such as bleach/cleaners etc..as I usually look for offers which men are not very good at observing!

Coconut Thu 21-Sept-17 11:43:41

My daughter won't let her husband do the shopping as her bill would be at least doubled !!

curlilox Thu 21-Sept-17 11:49:43

I have done almost all our shopping since 1981, when I passed my driving test. Before that DH always came to help carry everything home. He never took his test, so I can't send him to do the weekly shop. Now he's retired I ask him to pick up odd things on the way past the shops (he likes to go out for long walks). Sometimes it's more trouble than it's worth. I recently asked him to pick up a 4 pint bottle of 1% milk. The shop had none, so he sent me a text, which I didn't see, hung about for a while, then came home with nothing. They had 1 pint bottles, but he didn't even get one of those. So I had to make a special trip. IT WAS HIS MILK, I use skimmed!!

Legs55 Thu 21-Sept-17 12:20:52

When we both worked shopping was done on a Saturday morning, only a small Sainsbury in local Town so we used the Butchers & Greengrocers as well. Then we got a large Tesco about a mile from home which was very handy. I also did top up shopping as I worked in a Town with a good M&S and Waitrose.

DH & I shared jobs, we both did the cooking, I did the washing, dusting & tidying. He cleaned the kitchen & bathroom also did the hoovering. Taking bins out & sorting re-cycling was my job.

In the garden DH mowed the lawn & I dealt with the rest of it, I love gardening.

Now I'm widowed of course it's all down to me, smaller garden & no lawn which suits megrin. Housework gets done when I feel like itblush

keffie Thu 21-Sept-17 12:29:20

Good grief! I wouldn't let the ex husband or my 2nd husband anywhere near doing the main shop, even with a list. Neither any good at the food shopping side. I rarely take hub with me as all I get is moaned at, about why we need xyz and then he proceeds to put luxuries in the trolley he wants but no one else.

I do our main shop once a week online now. Then pick up what we need during the week as needed from the supermarket. I will ask the hub to get milk, bread and the like if he is going out and near s shop. Anymore no.

On anything else like cooking, washing, cleaning we share

Imperfect27 Thu 21-Sept-17 13:07:44

Our household division of labour has been fairly worked out according to our jobs / free time ratio. When I was working a 70-hour week , my DH did all the weekday cooking and the groceries shopping too. We would share other household cleaning tasks. I do the hovering, he does the garden ...There has never been an issue. I do more now that I am at home in terms of cooking, cleaning and ironing etc, but when I start full-time work again next week, he will step up again. I have had so many people say ' Oh you are lucky with him.' NO - I would not have married someone who wasn't prepared to share what should be shared. Simples.

inishowen Thu 21-Sept-17 13:19:56

We both enjoy supermarket shopping, so we do it together. I love deciding where we'll go. Sainsburys, Tesco, Asda, Co-op, all get a go.

knspol Thu 21-Sept-17 13:19:57

DH does all the shopping and hates me to accompany him which suits me as I can't abide hanging around while he compares prices and offers. He then does the cooking too but I do everything else including looking after the huge garden and most other 'heavy' stuff. Suits us both

Chris4159 Thu 21-Sept-17 13:22:48

I have def done it wrong!! Always done the shopping cleaning ironing cooking gardening except cut the grass. All financial things. Pressie shopping etc etc. I also work full time 2 adult children still at home. While hubby is retired gets up at 11.00am to watch hogans heros!! and sits there all day. Until pub time. Keeping me young though running around while he is ageing badly.

grandtanteJE65 Thu 21-Sept-17 13:31:32

DH loves household shopping, which I regard as a boring chore. However, I shop more economically than he, so leaving it all to him is quite definitely NOT a good idea!

Right now he's a couch potato much against his will, be it said, due to a broken collar-bone that just will not mend, so shopping, housework, gardening is all mine

dirgni Thu 21-Sept-17 13:44:21

NO it's not the woman's job! This is 2017!!!!!!!!!!

FarNorth Thu 21-Sept-17 14:10:37

"Well, I'm married so I don't have that problem."
The man's comment implies that shopping is naturally a wife's responsibility.

His reply shows he is quite self-centred (amateur psychologist here!) as clearly the interviewer was asking about the uses of Google glasses, not about the man's own arrangements.

Surely, anyway, he does shopping for techy gadgets beloved of many males, especially ones who get interviewed about Google glasses.
makes rude comment about said man

NotTooOld Thu 21-Sept-17 15:22:21

Since retirement we shop together although I must say this took a bit of getting used to on my part. DH knows the prices of everything in every supermarket and so we often have to visit two or more supermarkets on one day to get the best value for our money. (I try hard not to mention the added cost of the extra petrol). He carefully cuts out coupons and saves vouchers to minimise bills but I refuse to keep these small wads of paper in my purse so he keeps them himself.

Like others, we divide most household tasks according to skills which means I am rarely involved with anything mechanical or technological, I'm pleased to say! I should also add that he is excellent at repelling house spiders - a big plus, in my view.

grannyactivist Thu 21-Sept-17 15:34:03

We share jobs according to what we're each involved in at any given time or how busy we are. The Wonderful Man is doing everything at the moment because I'm on complete rest, but usually shopping is a chore that's shared. Mostly he does it on his way home from work and I tend to buy in extra bits and pieces such as milk.

Cubagran Thu 21-Sept-17 15:39:32

I do the big shop on line, as I can trawl through the website to my heart's content and we have it delivered midweek. Then we do a top-up shop on a Friday in case something wasn't available in the on-line shop or I might have forgotten something. We always make it an outing though, and have a coffee and cake, then go and have a swift drink at the pub afterwards.

Barmyoldbat Thu 21-Sept-17 17:18:08

We each do whatever we want. I tend to do all the cooking except on a Monday when my H has to plan, shop and cook the meal. I do tend to do most of the shopping but that is out of choice. I want my H to be self sufficient around the home as I may pop off before him.

Lilyflower Thu 21-Sept-17 18:44:26

The DH is busy at this moment ordering lightbulbs online. I do the main food shopping through Tesco's delivery service with a list and after consulting a shotbot for bargain prices. Anything on offer I go on a special trip and bulk buy. The DH and I often shop together though he gets waylaid in the booze aisle.

Wheniwasyourage Thu 21-Sept-17 18:55:19

Rolande, glad you have been cheered up by this thread on what must be a difficult day for you flowers

We shop together usually, since we both retired, but are both quite happy to do it individually if necessary. DH enjoys cooking and is good at it, neither of which applies to me. I enjoy washing and am even getting to enjoy ironing, now that there is not a constant need for work shirts. I usually clean the loos etc and we both do the odd bit of dusting and hoovering. I put out the bins. We both do the gardening.

Caro1954 Thu 21-Sept-17 20:28:32

I HATE shopping of any kind and DH likes it. So, since he retired, he has done the food shopping. Apart from a "stocking up" tendency he does it really well and I have no complaints!

grannyticktock Thu 21-Sept-17 20:47:55

When my husband was alive, I did most of the shopping; he used to shop when he was cooking, and stuck rigidly to his list of ingredients. What we avoided - we both disliked it - was shopping together. We each shopped in completely different and incompatible ways.

I used to notice helpless-looking men standing in the aisles, holding on to the trolley like an overgrown child, and I would think, "What are you even doing there, getting in the way? Why don't you stay at home, or sit in the car and read the paper?"

For better, for worse, but not for Sainsbury's, that's what I used to say!

Lilylilo Thu 21-Sept-17 20:50:52

My husband was BORN to shop!
So he does it all......i go along now and again but generally I leave it up to him...i cook it and he buys it!

Theoddbird Thu 21-Sept-17 22:38:19

Haven't a clue...I am happily single and do everything. Can't remember who did the shopping when I was married...