Overstaying lodger!

I know this thread has gone on a long time and it might be irritating for anyone not in the situation, when it seems to be going round in circles with no apparent action by the OP. But I also understand with how easy it is to keep going round in circles when you don't expect someone to behave as they do so one keeps on trying to work out the next step!

Annie Please let us know how things go ...and please stick to your guns.

Ive just found this thread again after a month and simply can't believe it's not resolved yet! We are all spitting blood and vowing this cheeky so and so would be out on her ear in no time but the OP is obviously a lovely non confrontational person which is why it's ended up like this! Please come back and tell us the cuckoo in the next has gone! It's driving me mad!

Nest of course. Auto correct again!

Hi all
Thank you again for your posts, new and old. In answer to many, why is she still there? I gave her 7 weeks notice- ample time for her to find something. This Tuesday gone- with three weeks notice left and only 3 rooms/houses/properties viewed I told her that my son and 2 DGC are now staying instead of just my DGD as was the original plan.
I told her she HAS to be out by 31st March, (my exact words were “I WANT YOU OUT”) which only gives me a week to give it a thorough overhaul. Forget the decorating now until after my son has returned home. She saw one yesterday on Spare rooms which she said was lovely but... the owner is putting the house on the market?!?! Why ask for a lodger in that case? Houses round here go very, very quickly.
So.... dear friends.... I will keep you up to date.
Just a note to some Gransnettets who have basically accused me of being a wimp and not standing up for myself and maybe not being able to cope and make decisions in an emergency, I cannot change the person and character I am. I am very tolerant and patient as youwill have seen, but you know the saying The worm who turned? Watch this worm on 31st Matcht!!!!

Well done Worm. Keep on turning. Good luck ???

Go Girl!!

I don’t think you’re a wimp... just a naturally nice person who’s been taken advantage of. And your DH too. But sooner or later one of you had to make a stand. And you’ve done (are doing) it!! Good Luck!!

The lodger should take the room in the house thats up for sale.
Conveyancing takes time.
She'll have ample weeks in this "spare room" house after a buyer is found.
She can use the time to find her next accommodation.

Room in a house for sale, more emotional blackmail. The woman is a leech she needs to be removed.

Good to hear from you annie. Stick to your resolve, she will be gone. Not a situation any of us would choose. Good luck.

That's right Annie keep strong this woman is playing you.
Think how relieved you will feel when she is gone.
Good luck.

Has she fully grasped that she does not have a choice about leaving by 31st March?
And that if she hasn't found somewhere by then she'll have to stay in a hotel or B&B? (And put her stuff in storage.)

She has been unreasonable by not making any effort all this time so any accommodation problems she has as a result of you giving notice are actually of her own making.

Has your DH stopped acting like a wet dishrag, btw?

Keep your guard up, Annie, until she has gone. If she is desperate enough she'll take the 'lovely' one in the house that's going on the market and she can look for another place from there. The person who's advertised the room is obviously aware that lodgers can be turfed out at short notice and wants to maximise income from his property.

Well done Annie. Stick to your guns. Show this woman you are a force to be reckoned with. Has she started packing yet? If not, why not make a start for her by doing some packing while she's at work?
I look forward to 31st March - wish all us grans could be outside your house cheering you on

Well done the worm is indeed turning and chucking the cuckoo out the nest to boot!

The more she is making excuses the stronger you are becoming!

Remember there is always the local Premier Inn or Travel lodge.

If she is still there on 31st hold out your hand and say 'keys please'
you could add
'Our son needs them for his visit tomorrow'

Fingers crossed the lodger will lodging at another address very soon.

keep in touch and we will keep you on the straight and narrow so you do what you know needs to be done.

Start gently hinting towards the date by gathering together any of her belongings that have strayed out of her room and put them back in it, ready for her to pack them. 2 days or so before the final leave date, start moving cleaning materials and heaps of fresh bedlineen and towels into the room. . ready to give the room a quick clean before the visitors arrive. If she is really being recalcitrant, take the curtains down, saying you need to wash them.

Glad to hear that things are eventually moving, although so painfully slowly that they could grind to a halt.
Passive resistance is the hardest form of opposition to deal with as you have to make the moves all the time.
This is a shocking way to respond to two people who have given her a home for a year. I don't think she fully believes you will go ahead with it.
I still think it is a strange way for a 36 year old woman to want to live.

My big worry would be that she will temporarily vacate her room for your family yet persuade you or DH to store her stuff for her, then, family visit over, she will worm her way back into your home again claiming homelessness and empty promises of seeking alternative accommodation.

I don't think there will be any chance at all of her getting back in, once she's out!

But where is the husband in all this is he following up to make sure she goes or is he just sitting back and letting Annie be bad cop

Once she's gone, change the locks, I wouldn't put anything past her!

"This is a shocking way to respond to two people who have given her a home for a year."

But are two people making it clear to her that she has to be gone by the 31st?
Or is one of them telling her not to worry her pretty little head about it?

Annie, definitely don't agree to store any stuff for her. There are bound to be places which store goods, in your area.

Don't store anything, Anniechip. As I've said before, get those locks changed!!

Beware of the 'room in a house for sale' tactic. When a house is for sale there are very long forms to fill in requiring, among other things, to state the details of anyone else in the house and their rights to stay there.

How about on March 31st she comes to Annie in tears saying the person who was prepared to let her rent a room in his house has been told by his solicitor that he cannot go ahead with the rent so he has withdrawn the offer and she has nowhere to go.

My solution would be to have a list of self storage firms and local chain hotels and ring for a taxi for her.

Be prepared for any other last minute stunts she may pull to try and stay 'a littlelonger'

If she tries that, be firm that you no longer have room for her and suggest she asks some of her other friends to help her for a few nights/weeks/months.

I think we're all waiting for 31st with baited breath! Good Luck, Anniechip