Overstaying lodger!

Certainly the most important issue is your husband's attitude ! He is not considering your views or feelings or your life ...things like sitting in your lounge and watching the tv you want to watch. His lack of consideration and care is palpable!!

Regarding her behaviour I would not tolerate washing and stuff hanging around. Remove it, bung it in a plastic bag and chuck it on her bed. Anything left around place on the floor in her room. Dirty dishes into her room as well! If dishes/cutlery run out, buy paper plates and serve hubbies meal on those with plastic knife and fork ...explain she hasn't washed anything up!!! Keep one plate, knife, fork etc for yourself and use those! Sounds so petty but maybe impacting on his comforts is the only way to wake him up to what is happening.

If you have him on side, then it is a case of telling her together that it is time to move on and give her a date..preferably with some options for rental to look at as suggestions! Good luck. You have been remarkably tolerant !

Really? You have allowed your husband to bring a much younger woman in the house and for a pittance if a rent? Maybe I have a suspicious mind but I see this as very dangerous as he clearly prioritises his need to have this woman close over his desire to have his grandchildren close - sorry but I can’t grasp the idea that this is a platonic relationship and even if it were two’s company but three’s a crowd - you must get her out and be straight with your husband - if necessary involve your own daughter.

Agree with others what do your family think could they speak to your oh as well . Good luck with what you decide .

Start looking in the property to rent sections of local paper, online etc . Have a talk with her and tell her you need your home back so Grandchildren can stay and that you are willing to help her look for accomodation.

I am shocked this young lady has far overstayed her welcome and at £300a week she will be feeling very comfortable. I would have a serious talk with DH he must see this is making you unhappy also point out DGC should come first and not be expected to sleep on an air bed in your room.

If you only wanted it temporary then you shouldn't have charged rent. She now has tenancy rights.

She has to go!

You've been more than accommodating ..... Literally!
You want your house back. She has to be told without further delay. 2 weeks notice seems reasonable to find a room in a house share. Tell husband as I don't feel this needs a discussion. This is how you feel and you're entitled to want your house back. You don't need an excuse. SHE HAS TO GO !!!!

Just ask her when she is planning to find a place of her own because she only came for a few weeks and you now think its time she moved on you would like her room back. Sharing a house long term doesn't suit you. Its hard to be confrontational when its not in your nature so just take a deep breath once she knows you don't want her in your home any more she will probably get the message.

There have to be rules, and she is breaking them, she must respect your home and your wishes, take control, it's your home. Explain to your hubby, it's not alright and tell him you're unhappy with the situation. Money is of little consequence if your not happy with the situation you have found yourself in. Perhaps as she is your daughters friend she could tell her it's time to move out and leave her parents to their own life and some privacy. Remember you have helped her, you're not being unkind, she's being unrealistic.

I am so angry I could burst! As others have already said you do not need to explain yourself. How dare your husband treat you like this? This young lady is living the life of Riley and needs her marching orders. Then turn your attention to your husband and let him know that you had hoped he had more respect for you than to allow another woman to come before you in your own home.

I agree with MawB. Charge her £750 a month. I think she will soon be gone.

This is intolerable for you. Please let us know what happens. I can't add any advice as good advice has already been given.

I agree with m0nica. You di not have to be defensive and give reasons to her. Yourself maybe to strengthen your resolve but not her. She has broken her original agreement of a short term stay, now the arrangement is to come to an end. Keep it impersonal (not she must go - the arrangement is ending) & business-like. If she doesn’t stick to the new agreement, put her belongings in a bag, put a lock on the door. If husband disagrees so strongly, time to pack his bags too????

Time to say goodbye to this woman. A "few weeks" was the original request and she has outstayed her welcome. I wonder if your husband would feel as tolerant if the boot was on the other foot and you had a male friend moving in "for a few weeks"! which turned out to be much longer and you spent more time in his company than your husband's. I doubt very much that he would like it in the same way you don,t. Be prepared with your answers to both husband and lodger so you don,t feel you have to justify yourself .....don,t accept a rent increase either, just be straightforward and say you want your home back now and she has to be gone by (whatever date you give). I think as this sounds like it was an informal arrangement with no contract you are well within your rights. If needs be she will have to move temporarily into a B &B until she sorts something more permanent for herself. Stand up for yourself now ...the longer it goes on the harder it will get.

I had the same situation with SiL a few years back. Following a relationship break up, she asked to move in with us for a couple of weeks while she found a place to rent. 7 months later we gave her notice using the excuse that we needed the room for impending grandchild! She paid £40pw which included all bills, food, cleaning etc. Never again. Get rid asap.

Tell your husband how you feel. He should put your needs above this woman’s. Tell him she has to go. Then give her 1 month’s notice. Help her find something else. I would speak to a solicitor about your rights and if possible get something in writing re her moving out date.

She is totally taking the nick, £300 is nothing for rent.

Great that your husband has a companion but she has overstayed her welcome although she may feel he has allowed this. Your husband should also be active in helping her fine somewhere else to live.

Good luck OP. You sound like a very lovely, patient and accommodating person. X

I agree about putting the washing on her bed, but I wouldn't put it in a bin bag first. Or put it in her room on the floor.
It is a warning to everyone, if you do charge rent you really must have get a shorthold tenancy agreement signed. Then you could have said to her, at the time, your six months is up and I won't be renewing the agreement and then been ready with the notices.

First become assertive with your husband by simply telling him she has to be out by..a date in 2 weeks times. She has plenty of friends so she won’t be without a roof over her head. Then tell her she has to leave, giving her the date. You don’t have to explain yourself, just stick to your guns. While she is out start packing for her, in black bin liners if necessary. On the day you can then put all her stuff outside the door for when she comes home. Your husband will be the problem but stand firm, her or me! Just for the record had to do it to someone I took in and it was the only way for me that worked.

Out Out Out. Give her two months notice...three at a push. That should give her plenty of time o find somewhere.

Lo of good advise given. I think this is the first time I have seen everyone agree on the answer to a question....

To be honest, she needs to be given notice. You have to make it clear to your husband that you want your home back. Then you must both speak to her together and give her one month to find an alternative. She is never going to go of her own accord and £300 a month is a pittance. A room alone is £100 a week and she is getting the use of a full house. But of course the real problem is the relationship with your husband, but I guess you know that. Time to stamp your feet.

Tell your husband if she doesn't go you will .

DH is going to say you're imagining things, there's no harm etc etc. Take no notice - remember how you kept boundaries and limits for your child? Same applies here - the boundaries and limits have been overstretched by both of them. He sulks like a child - tough. And it's time she made friends of her own generation.

Barmeyoldbat If she just puts this woman's things in bin bags outside the door, she will call the police and they will force Anniechip to let her back in. She will then feel powerful and will turn difficult.
It is also important not to guess at the notice period. Give the exact amount required by law in the correct form. Otherwise you might have to start from the beginning again. The Notice must set out her rights.
Also, don't try to put the rent up. This could go against you if you have to take action to remove her as it could look as if she was an acceptable tenant up to that point.

When do you and your DH have time alone? Point out to him that you are his wife and he should be spending time with you.

If, as you say, she has a well paid job then if she hasn't found a permanent place by the end of the notice tell her she will have go into B&B or even an hotel.

She has settled in very comfortably and will not want to move so you are going to have to be strong.