Feeling like your home isn't yours due to other relatives

Your husband is the problem, NOT his family.

He needs to get a grip and stop with all this inability to say no "due to guilt over past divorce". His children are adults and he is doing them no favours, training them to be exploitative of others.

It's good that "he was not pleased when I told him what went on" - but what is he going to do with his displeasure? Voice it to his family, or suck it up and ask you to suck it up too?

I was a little concerned to hear the GDS say ask GRANDAD for a room in HIS house. It's Grandma's house, too and they should respect that.

Cheeky mare, she doesn't want people tramping around her house and using the facilities but it is fine to inflict it on GPs. When hell freezes over would be my answer.

How lovely that they have a grandad they are confident about asking to help them.

Your neighbours sound a miserable bunch, I wonder if your husband enjued having the camping kids there?

I don't think you can help with the room without insurance and council tax complications, but to still be considered as approachable and helpful is lovely.

I am pleased when my family ask me for help, sometimes the answer is no but then often I can go along and give advice or support.

I would never stop having kid's parties or a sleepover in my garden, that is the path to lonelines.

Just to add, notice many others have already pointed this out! Teach me to read the thread!

If she's going to charge for the lessons it changes the status of your house in that it could be liable for charges as a business. Ask had to research that! It might put her off.

It’s quite simple. It would be illegal to run a yoga class from domestic premises. It costs £15 an hour to hire a room at the Community Centre here and there is plenty of parking. Why would he allow an illegal activity which would upset the neighbours?

There are so many reasons not to do this as other posters have detailed. I understand your husband has feelings of guilt over things that happened in the past but you are together now in the present. Any decisions should be taken jointly. You really need an honest conversation with your husband Zorro it seems like your feelings are not considered.

Saying no isn't going to work if you're constantly overruled, which seems to be the case.
Are you happy for this to continue for the rest of your life, or is it at least bearable, say, if you were to totally refuse to give an opinion?

Say no for all the reasons the contributors to this thread have already expressed.

The best place to set up practice is with a group of wholistic therapists already functioning. You then rent space on certain days & evenings. As has been mentioned this facility is then already covered by public liability, has the right amenities and your relative has to have her own personal insurance for her practice.

We already had a problem where he agreed to a small camping evening in the garden for his grandson - I wasn't consulted. Numerous boys and girls turned up - too many to handle and due to the noise the neighbours complained. I of course got the blame for agreeing with the neighbour. This is an example of how he won't say no.

The comment may have been said without any previous thought?
Some great answers above- tons of reasons to just say no!
The government web site offers plenty of advice and links here: www.gov.uk/run-business-from-home
There are so many things to check out - perhaps acceptable if you are needing to start a home business yourself but definitely not for the faint hearted.
The link may be useful for the granddaughter if she decides to start at her own home.

What made uncomfortable reading for me is that they referred to it as "grandad's house" as though you didn't have a say in the matter. Most likely a slip of the tongue ....
Just say "No" .......

Zorro21 - you just say no - and you don't wait for the request to be made formally either - take the first opportunity to say in a casual manner something like 'by the way, just wanted to say if you were thinking seriously about asking to run your business from our home, that if would be out of the question' - do not add things like it would invalidate your insurance etc., because if the granddaughter is keen she may offer to pay for business insurance and the additional council tax - you have to tell the truth and say this would be an imposition on your lives.

I did say "No" to the person who suggested it at the time. My problem is that although I am the wife, all of them go to Grandad and get granted all kinds of favours, due to guilt over past divorce. He will deny them nothing and they know it and play on it.

I'm assuming your DH doesn't want a yoga class in your home either from what you said.

Is the problem that he does not want to be the one to say NO and that you are the step-gran and automatically the one behind the refusal in his family's eyes?

If you and DH are in total agreement then all you need is to write done all the valid points the others who have read this have mentioned so you have them to hand if the grandchild tries to argue when you and DH say no.

I knew someone who worked as a mortgage broker and he tried to start from his own home but it was the parking that caused the problem. He got reported to the Council and fell out with his neighbours.
At least he had something to gain but you would have all sorts of problems and would gain nothing except keeping a granddaughter happy (although people often fall out when they enter into that sort of arrangement so you could end up falling out with her as well).
Hopefully she won't ask you, but if she does you can just say your insurance doesn't cover it and hopefully leave it at that.

What puzzles me is why the fairly straight forward and obvious answer of saying NO is so difficult? Leaving aside all the possible insurance, legal, rent or any other ramifications, it is your house and it doesn't suit you. End of conversation. Why is saying NO so difficult? Are there other issues at play here?

Definitely NO. I think it is a cheek.

Haha...there is no question about it.
NO NO and thrice NO (as Frankie Howerd would have said)
If you REALLY fancy hordes of yoga pupils trooping into your house for lessons and perhaps even your kitchen, in pursuit of drinks/smoothies plus using your toilet facilities, then go right ahead.
I guess that you don't, therefore the polite answer is 'NO, we need to have some peace at our age'. No apology needed. I think it's more than cheeky to even ask, as you say that she (or her parents) has a large house of her own.

You haven't said what you replied when this was mentioned. If you responded negatively, you'll probably not hear anything more about it. It may well be they were just testing the water or it could have been an innocent remark from a young person who hasn't really thought it through. You have perfectly valid reasons to say no on the grounds of insurance issues and so should have no problem in gently declining.

Crikey! No way, would be my response, maybe put a tad more politely, but still exceedingly firm.
This is what on MN they call CF behaviour!
(Cheeky **cker, in case anyone is unaware)

I think that's really cheeky! Does she intend to pay you rent for the space? I would say No as my privacy is important to me.

Say NO, NO, NO.

There will be all sorts of problems if you give way. Your house and contents insurance will be invalidated, even if the claim does not arise from the classes being run in your home. Your house will need to be inspected by the council to check it meets fire standards and has adequate fire extinguishers, exits etc. What about parking? Is there an adequate amount of parking. will it cause neighbours problems.

I had a neighbour who used, on occasions, hire her barn out for classes of about 10-15 people and it caused us and other neighbours endless problems, we were constantly having to yank people out of the class because we were blocked in. The only reason we didn't go to the council was because it was only 4 days a year.

There are a lot of implications of running a business from a private house and I would not be happy to allow it. Your home insurance probably does not allow it to be used for business purposes and what would happen if one of her customers was injured at your home?

Then there is the issue of not knowing who is coming in and out - what if damage was done or something was stolen by a customer?

Also you may find that your neighbours complain to the council if it creates parking problems.

I would just say NO if she is serious