Are you or your OH Hoaders?

I have a tendency to hoard books but am trying to be better. I took 5 down the charity shop this morning and just bought 1 back. Clothes I am better at now and everything else I am relatively minimalist about now. We have our granddaughters over quite a lot so the toys are now accumulating though.

My DH is an awful hoarder. He wont get rid of anything and as I hate clutter the only way we can manage this is by me having the downstairs study (tiny but very neat and organised) and him having the 4th bedroom as a hobby room which is full to the brim and never ever tidy or clear. He also has a double garage/workshop which again is very untidy, crammed with tools etc and no room for my car any more. He is not allowed to leave his clutter in the kitchen, living room and our bedroom, grandchildrens bedroom or spare room. Our loft is tidy and relatively clear though as we clear that every two years. Only thing up there is baby stuff which will be coming down for DGD2 who was born in April, xmas decorations and suitcases.

... and that is as it should be. Why should I limit my enjoyment of all I possess and which holds so many memories, just so that at some specified time in the future - and it could be decades away, my children are saved a couple of days of inconvenience.

I hadn’t heard of the Death Clean until I saw it mentioned recently on another thread. I initially thought what a great idea, but like you, found it too depressing to continue. My children will just have to sift through everything, and hire a skip!!

I started the Swedish Death Clean a wee while ago, but it kind of got me down looking at all the things I’ll never use again (like vocal scores and lesson plans), so I abandoned it.
I do really need to clear out, as I don’t want it to be like my wee auntie, who died at 94, and had unused wedding presents ( fish knives & forks, pastry forks, bed linen, & teaspoons) in a cupboard.

There was also a box of Tampax.

Well Im amazed at all these male hoarders. We are the opposite -I tend to hoard and DH is one for chucking things away willy nilly that I find I need the following week. We have endless arguments /discussions about it! (How do I cross words out?)

My Mum in law was a very tidy lady and her home was just-so, so it was a huge shock when we had to clear her home to find every cupboard stuffed to the gills. One cupboard in particular fascinated me because as I emptied it I was literally going back in time. Every armful that I carefully pulled away consisted of a decade of linen and clothes. At the very back of the cupboard was Mum's curtains that she had made for her new home in 1957, the very home we were having to part with.

It took us months to get the house empty to sell. It is a very hard job to do as you yourself have memories of that person and that home and I found the whole thing very tiring both physically and emotionally.

The whole experience left us exhausted and made me determined not to do that to my children. We had two dear Mums' homes to empty and our own downsizing into a bungalow from our family home to cope with in one year!!! Two and half years later I am just about to start a mega Spring clean to double check we are not keeping anything we do not need.

Years ago I found a website which really helped me cope with housework, cooking, family etc and I still use the routines to get me back on track when everything is getting on top of me. The website is Flylady so have a peek if you need inspiration.

I see something of myself in practically every post. My parents’ house was a nightmare to clear as Dad had sheds of junk, and Mum had endless old clothes and new unopened gifts, towels, etc. So I was determined not to leave my children with the same task, but we have a house jammed full, including the loft and garage. Most of it belongs to DH but I have my fair share too. Books, sentimental objects, collections, handbags, shoes, clothes I never wear. At least I don’t keep buying more stuff, whereas DH is forever ordering off the internet, tools, gadgets, collectibles.
Now it is just overwhelming. I am pretty good with paperwork but even that is piling up.
Trouble is, I spend far too much time online.........

Oh Greengran you post made me cry, thinking of your Mum keeping things for best. I had an elderly friend who did just that and who had cupboards full of new towels, bedding, clothes. You’re so right - we should enjoy our things and not worry about them getting broken or spoilt - life is too short.

Granstender. I remember clearing out my Mum's house after her death. She didn't have a lot of possessions, as she never had much money. What saddened me, though, was the things that she had put away 'for best' because she didn't want to spoil them. Things we had given her as gifts, pretty tea towels bought on holiday as souvenirs, the lovely teaset she wouldn't use in case it got broken, the special bedding saved for the guests who rarely stayed.
She had missed out on the pleasure of using them, and stowed them away out of sight.
I vowed then to enjoy everything I own. I don't care if it does gets spoiled, or broken. I will remember the pleasure I had in using it every day.

I'm not a hoarder until it comes to my craft stuff, when I'm prone to keeping every little bit of leftover paper/fabric/wool, just in case!
DH is terrible and won't throw anything out. He even wanted to keep a pile of videos (old tv recordings, not even films!) when he was moving to this country ... he very reluctantly tossed them when I reminded him we no longer had a video player!
Now we just have a house full of old books neither of us is likely to read... grrrrrr!!!

When we downsized we were going from 4 double bedrooms, loft and garage to 2 double bedrooms, no loft, no garage!! DH wanted to hire skip - no way - not letting neighbours think all our stuff is junk! As a result we had a season ticket for the recycling centre but it certainly has stopped both of us being hoarders.

I'm not a horder per se unless you count my wool stash ☹️ but I am having a good clear out over the next few months, mainly because I'm forcing DS (and DDIL left a violin that remains unplayed!) and DD to decide what to do with their possessions that they say they have no room for (including university notes from 15+ years ago!)
There's the best part of a whole double wardrobe-sized cupboard holding their things).

I'm also getting rid of three complete coffee sets that haven't been used for 30 years at least, and radically pruning my summer and winter wardrobes.
That's the plan anyway.......

Loopyloo: I think you need to decide you don't want things all over the place any more and stick to it.

I know this sounds facile and rather unkind, but it is based on my own experience, so it was not unkindly meant.

DH and I come from a long line of hoarders and in my parents' home nothing was ever put away. As a teenager that drove me mad as I had started comparing our home to my school friends'.

As a grown up my home looked exactly like my parents for many years until the day when I woke up to the fact that I disliked the clutter, hated feeling I ought to apologise for the mess when visitors came and really hated spending ages looking for things I really needed and could not find because they hadn't been put away after use (by me!)

So I tidied up, spring cleaned and worked out exactly what the proper place was for everything. Then I worked out how much time I wanted to spend tidying up to be able to enjoy living in my own home.

Basically I have stuck to a weekly schedule every since of tidying up on Thursday evenings, so the weekend was free for more enjoyable things. It works for me, perhaps it will for others.

We downsized 15 years ago, and we had to be quite strict.
We moved from 3 bed house to a 2 bed apartment, so a lot of things went to charity shops. Furniture to our children. We have a garage so there is stuff stored in there but not much. Have a few cases with bits and bobs but they don’t see the light of day, should go really. The main thing is photos a lot of which we inherited from our parents.

I'm not like the hoarders on the TV programmes, our house can look quite clear when tidied up. However, I do have lots of clothes stashed away, (many I am hoping to shrink into) plus bags and shoes etc. I did prune my books a lot when I got a kindle, but still have one 6 foot bookcase and extra piles overflowing.

It makes me think, if I keeled over now, there would be a lot of "stuff " for OH to dispose of. However, at least mine is all in the house and could be easily given to a charity shop.

He has barns full of stuff - 2 stationary engines, several landrovers in bits, dumper truck, bikes, old JCB, so many tools, electronics, etc etc. As he is younger than me, hopefully I'll never be left to sort it all out!!

H died in Jan. Ihe was a hoarder and builder. So I am in the process of clearing the garden and 7 sheds of junk and tools. He met have 4 of everything. Had to get a man in to clear it all.

lilypollen, you are describing my late DH! When my DC have a few free days I am planning on getting a skip and clearing the (double) garage with their help, well, it will probably need two skips. He had so much stuff just in case, never threw a thing out. Our car never saw the inside of the garage and we have lived here since 1993.

Can anyone explain why my DH needs 8 identical pairs of brown leather brogues?

Hope you sell soon Panache. My dh and I are both 'might come in useful/fit us again one day' hoarders. Not only do I get annoyed at my dh I get annoyed with myself. I am ashamed to say we also rent a lock up just to keep 'stuff' in. The rent keeps going up on lockup and I have questioned dh about whether we should get rid of stuff and stop renting it but he did not seem keen and says he is content to carry on as we are. I will leave it a few weeks and then suggest downsizing lock up to smaller one even if it means just getting rid of some of my stuff. I dread to think when we pass how dc will feel having to do it.

We had a massive clear out before moving abroad ten years ago. I regretted giving some kitchen things away and have since replaced them. But why do I need lots of cake making utensils and icing stuff when the only cake I seem to make these days is a banana loaf when we have some over ripe bananas?
My husband insists he isn't a hoarder but collector. At least the collection of Harley Davidson memorabilia has stopped but it's all still here plus his collection of knives and swords of all sorts .
My Portuguese friend's husband said to her last week "what Daisy and H need is a nice two bedroom bungalow now". Lol. What we have in this 4 bedroom house would never fit in a smaller place.

Both DH & I were hoarders, before we put our 4 bed house on the market we had decided to start clearing out, good job as we had a buyer 2 weeks after it went on the market & moved 5 weeks later. Our new home had a garage so we had additional storage & spare room wasn't needed straight away.

I then had to clear all DH's things out after he died, Charity, tools to DD's (her OH took everything "to sort out"). Moved again, smaller property again, DD took things to Car Boot, advertised locally on facebook, took to Charity shops & finally re-cycling centre. I did have time to go through things as I had a storage unit for 5 months.

I have little storage space in my new home, I do still hoard cookery books but most other books are read & passed on to friends/neighbours/Charity Shops. I have all my embroidery/tapestry "stuff" in storage boxes & a very large Collection of Giles Cartoon Books & other items plus two displays cabinets full of mostly Lilliput Lane Cottages (over 100).

Clothes are kept to a minimum as I don't have room for lots of clothes (lack of storage again).

I am dreading having to clear out DM's bungalow, loft is clear, garage mainly clear but she has 3 double wardrobes full of clothes, I guess the Charity Shops will benefit.

We are both hoarders. But most of DH's hoard is kept in his sheds (yes he had to build a second one to accommodate it!) which is fine until I want to find and use his tools - I can't move in there and can't find anything! It mainly consists odd lengths of wood; plumbing & electrical fittings; old tins of paint (probably useless now); old tools mostly rusty; numerous power tools; car tools; and of course gardening tools including several broken and useless ones. But of course they may all 'come in useful someday'...

As a keen crafter most of my hoarding is craft materials, especially fabrics, beads, gemstones and crystals, I have boxes and boxes of them - in my craft room, in the loft, under our bed etc. Add to that family history research, documents & books (20 years worth); birthday, anniversary and Christmas cards for all the family; and BOOKS - from my childhood, books that were my Mum's, grandmother's and great-grandmothers, books about numerous crafts, and of course books we have read. And there's more.... but I won't go on, you get the picture. One day I will have to be ruthless... but not just yet.

Im with you Willow500 it’s hard sorting through/clearing out after a bereavement. Done some of mum’s things (she died 2 months ago) and then 3 weeks ago ditto for another elderly female relative. I have read that for sentimental items it’s easier if you use your iPad or similar to take a photo of it before letting go. It’s nice to still be able to ‘look at it’ without actually keeping it. I plan to do it as I (eventually) go through mum’s possessions with my sister, later in the year.

OH complains bitterly that the garage is unusable because of “stuff”. Well, yes, it is. However, when I pointed out that the only things in there that could be blamed on me were the tumble drier and the chest freezer it went very quiet....!!

I'm afraid I'm a hoarder , we didn't have much money growing up or in our early married years so once we had more disposable income I tended to buy more than I needed just because I could. Now I'm retired I don't spend like that but I don't like to throw things away just in case I might need it and can't afford to buy another. I also find it difficult to get rid of things my children made when they were young. I have periodic clear ours and our house is fairly tidy but all drawers and cupboards and the garage is jammed with stuff, half of it I have even forgotten we had. My OH is also a hoarder for certain things though he would never admit it!