widowed, older, downsizing, de-cluttering by myself

oh pids the story continues on the buying/selling stress thread and by golly there is and has been, some bad stress, mine at first then others joined in. Two people exchanged today after a torrid time with no gap, they are being packed up on monday. There is a huge amount of support and kindliness on that thread, join us if you can. All experiences are welcome and if we can help support, all the better

Well done you! I'm in the same position right now and would love to know the outcome of your story!

craftyone - Good luck with your new house, you sound very organised. Going aginst the flow here, but we are staying put. DH is is very poor health but we are semi-rural and I do not like the idea of moving to a town. You can get anything delivered so staying away from the shops is a bonus. If I have to stop driving at some point in the future I will get a cab. I am decluttering as the local charity depot can verify!

I lost my DH a year ago very suddenly and unexpectedly, and with the help and support of my children and a wonderful friend have moved back from Cyprus, to Wales. I have put our house in Cyprus on the market, dealt with probate in two countries and taken out a huge mortgage to buy a house in Wales. It has been a very hard year, but everyone from the various removal companies to the lawyers have been amazing and it is the best decision I have made.

As I am now in a much smaller house, well there is only me now< I have had to declutter, and that was very difficult but the memories are not in the things we had but in the things I still have and in my heart.

I am learning new skills, I have just tiled a small area of a floor, I have remembered how to put flat packed furniture together, and my decorating ability has been rekindled.

I just wish we had both been able to make the move, which had been planned for both of us a next year so that DH could have joined in the 'fun'

You're obviously a good organiser craftyone and have it all in hand. I'd also urge you to get removers, worth every penny and not that expensive! We had 2 massive gents (not being rude, they really were!) moving DPs things when they downsized. They made short work of moving the heavy sofa, bed, wardrobe etc up the stairs, and even they were huffing and puffing. We still had lots of bags to carry anyway if you're wanting to keep fit. Fit or otherwise, anyone can get a pulled muscle etc and it's not the way you want to start life in a new house with lots of sorting out to do. Good luck with the move.

Sorry that should have been craftyone. There are quite a few of you out there that obviously love your arts & crafts! Oops!

Thinking ahead should be a package, the dwelling, the savings if any, the provision for what if. No doubt about it, we don`t get more able as we age, we slowly get less able. Got to keep up with strengthening muscles, hence me wanting stairs and willingness to carry things. Heart muscle, so I cycle a few times a week, not far but enough to get me out and to get slightly puffed. After I and my finances are settled, then it will be re-visiting my will and POA.

My garden will be future proofed, enough space to potter and for some fruit but raised beds and low maintenance. Shutters not curtains, can be wiped clean and no lifting down to get to the dry cleaners. Eventually several fitted storage wardrobes, floor to ceiling. Maybe one day, a cleaner but not for the forseeable. A stair lift if I have to, one day. Neighbours near enough, just enough to have a mixed community

I have a very astute in law, my age. Was an extremely clever high flying oil executive and they live in a large rambling house with a very big garden. Suddenly he cannot remember words and has early stage dementia. Now his wife has to cope with it all herself and she is not coping. No point in any of us resting on our laurels, the past is not the future, none of us know the future. Prep is key, prepare for the worst and hope for the best

Clever craftygran. No flies on you!

I did get a removal van though!

I've done the same thing. I wish you every happiness.

Brilliant posts, all of them, all relevant to many of us

I purposely decided to get a new build, maintenance is something I do myself if not too heavy or too high, I am a dab hand with a roller and a drill but am giving in to encroaching old age. The little site is only a 5 minute walk to good old fashioned shops with no bookie or phone shop. Very friendly area and 60 clubs of all types, arty crafty place and buses to all the market towns around

I am leaving furniture here for selling, will only be taking a tall aerobed and the packed boxes and cases. No need to get removers just yet but I have an eye on a van and two men for later on. May use them earlier as I have a workshop to transfer to the garage, which is being lined and more electrics and lights added. Also freestanding bigdug garage shelving which will be very useful for box dumping in the garage

lol, great minds, yes I did the scale drawings, did them over and over and know exactly which bits will go where. It is going to be hardest to house my crafting things, sewing, spinning, knitting, pyrography, wood carving etc. None of that stuff has been downsized, it is all for my future. A big change from being driven by my allotment, had to do that to keep it productive. Time spent on crafts in future

It is all about bending, going with the flow, cannot turn the age clock back. Btw, I absolutely don`t recommend anyone moving into country isolation, small villages like mine are nice in many ways but small market towns are much better and best to buy somewhere without a field behind, no worries then about mass building

To the retired gentleman `financial advisor` who sent me a pm asking for my e mail. I was not born yesterday, a warning to anyone getting older with savings. Do your own financial affairs, trust no-one. Finances are easily learnt, I vested my husbands pension, invested in the stock market and am nicely handling drawdown. To him, the one that sent the pm. I am my own financial advisor and a good one at that so disappear and everyone else beware

We moved age 70 and 72 in August last year . The whole process took 8 months of our lives. It was the worst experience of our lives apart from bereavement. We feel that we have lost that 8months forever. Think hard before you make the decision to move it is life changing . Happily we are very happy in our new home.

Totally agree with all those saying you should get help with removals. You will have bills for professional services from solicitors and estate agents. Their services, although essential, are not nearly as obviously useful as a removals company. Do yourself a favour !

Who says your husband will pre-decease you Caro57 !
It might not be you doing the sorting .... ?

Craftyone - please come and talk to my husband! he will not move, won’t de clutter and I dread the day I get left to sort all this stuff / mess out. Plus I would hate to have to stay in this isolated 4 bed house on my own. It’s my nightmare and I admire your pragmatism

DH & I downsized 7 years ago from a large 4 bed to a smaller 2 bed, we got rid of as much as possible but used a Removal Company as we were moving over 200 miles. Took some furniture which we later replaced with more suitable items.

After I was widowed I waited a year before I put my home on the market & it was another 14 months before I moved, cash buyer so I had a Removal Company & rented a storage unit. Luckily I could stay with DD, found new home almost immediately but due to Solicitors involvement I couldn't move for a couple of months. I had to downsize again so with DD's help I sold/charity shop or tip anything I didn't have room for. I was 58 when I moved, my final move I hope, I love it here, Doctor's Surgery, shops in Town 3 Hospitals within 10 mile radius, good bus service & larger Towns nearby.

Good luck with the move but do use Removal Company/man & a van

Bless you all for the practical suggestions. I have to agree that there are times when spending on help is more than worthwhile.

DH and I downsized last year and are still getting every thing sorted out. Moving from 5 bedrooms to 2 meant lots of de-cluttering. And we also found much of our furniture does not fit in the new bungalow.

After 35 wonderful years in the family home, we felt we wanted to move whilst still working so we will be ready to retire with no large bills once our income shrinks.

Strangely it has become easier to sell and giveaway possessions... We have learned that precious memories remain in our hearts without needing physical reminders.

I can also confirm that moving out of one home to another on the same day is stressful!

Good luck to those about to downsize xx

You are very brave. I was pressured to exchange and complete by my buyers and was then gazumped over the new house. I had made an offer which was accepted. I had to move in with in laws for months. Please if anyone is thinking of doing this —— don’t.

72 and 73 now. Moved 9 years ago to an overall same sized house but laid out differently. Moved from an area after 33 years as had slowly deteriorated and masses of new builds round about taking up all the lovely green space we had. What a clear out we had, some stuff in attic had been taken here, there and everywhere, some for 40 years, so that just had to go. Wonderful feeling clearing out all the stuff that had accumulated. New house hasn't quite so much room to hoard, but DH has built a massive workshop at bottom of garden and I feel that will be harder to clear out than any house we have lived in. In our early life we moved 5 times in 5 years. Not quite ready to move into a small, intown place but do recognise that it will be sensible to do so in the not too distant future. Planning ahead is very wise

It sounds like you are almost at the final hurdle now and you are lucky that you haven't needed to do a simultaneous house move. As others have said, the move is a decision you won't regret once you are settled and your old house is sold.

We too are moving this year but have been told to wait until the spring to market our property. Also the uncertainty of the Brexit outcome is putting people off viewing at the moment. I agree that it's best to leave some furniture behind so that people can get an idea of lifestyle and room uses. It's also fairly easy to get a man with a van for a couple of hours at short notice, but just be prepared for the fact that they speedily go round and don't leave any time for you to dither or to change your mind over items!

Our move will be 250 miles away and will take place over two days. De-cluttering is already in progress, we have 4 piles - bin it, sell it, give to charity shop or take it with us. The most stressful bit is relocating dogs and cats!

Good advice OP. I would however agree with others who say pay for removal. Go out for day and go back to new home and everything unpacked for you and packaging taken away. Why make work and stress for yourself? Good luck on sale of property. In the spring sales always go up. Few like to move in cold unless have no choice.

Best of luck with your move crafty. I was widowed at 55 and down-sized four years later. I'm in a small two-bed terrace now (new build) moving from a 1950s two-bed bungalow.
It has been a learning curve. In the last five years - two front fence panels stolen in the night, endless problems with a ridiculous combi-boiler. On the plus side I've created a pretty garden, learned how to pump up the car tyres and check the oil. Decluttering was difficult for a clutterbug like me - I'll never be a minimalist.
There are good days when it's great to be alive and bad days when I despair but I muddle along somehow.

A lot of my larger items of furniture look wrong in the smaller house. Gradually getting rid of some and have bought new sofas and beds.

You sound amazing, however a move with a bad back is nigh on impossible.
Money spent on a good removal company is never wasted.
I have moved 13 times?

We downsized 9 years ago. We were both still working then but wanted to simplify, de clutter and live in the small town centre here. Shops, railway station, post office, hair salons, a wonderful new library, bars, restaurants, doctor, dentist all a 2 - 5 minute walk away.
No regrets.
Home is definitely where the heart is. You take your memories with you (even if some of the furniture won’t fit!). Take photographs of items before you get rid. That helps to ease the pain a bit as a quart won’t fit into a pint pot!