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House and home

widowed, older, downsizing, de-cluttering by myself

(53 Posts)
craftyone Thu 24-Jan-19 07:05:27

my first post and I am in the thick of it, downsizing, decluttering, moving. Just turned 71 and the moving process started a year ago, when I decided to face facts. Just now, in a small rural village, no shop or bus. Widowed 4 years ago and being sensible, need to move to within a short walk of shops and buses

I am in a lovely 4 bed detached and going to a much smaller 4 bed detached. Started de-cluttering over 3 years ago and have removed much, mostly to hospice shop. Still worried about how furniture will fit, don`t want to spend money on furniture, enough expense to contend with. A brand new house, small old style builder on a mini estate, very lucky as he has high standards and keeps his word

I am/was a saver all my life and now these savings are going to be my lifeline, exactly when I need it. I am buying before mine is sold and at a stroke will be removing much stress. Could not move all in one day. I am still strong, although female and short, will be moving many of the small things myself, new build is only 12 miles away, so car load after car load. Doing it all by myself has been so stressful, looking, buying, prepping to sell, packing.

New house might exchange in maybe 3 weeks, mine has had several viewers and 2 offers from people who have not sold. A bad time to sell, I will have 2 houses to look after soon

The moral: start the process early enough, start de-cluttering years before you decide to downsize. I started at 68, still have energy now but this will be my last move and no way could I have done this at an older age

Nannytopsy Thu 24-Jan-19 07:20:45

Thank you for that advice. We are intending to move this year and clearing has begun but there is a long way to go.

Gagagran Thu 24-Jan-19 07:28:02

Welcome craftyone and well done - you are obviously an excellent planner.

I hope you get a buyer for your present house very soon and that all goes well with the move to your new home. It must be hard doing it all on your own. Have you no family or friends who would lend a hand?

Nannytopsy Thu 24-Jan-19 07:28:03

PS Good luck with your move thanks

DoraMarr Thu 24-Jan-19 07:43:10

Good luck with your move, you sound very independent. I moved just over three years ago, at 66 and that was difficult enough. The only thing I would suggest is that you hire a removal firm to move your furniture and belongings. Moving everything by car in several trips sounds too tiring and could be dangerous. You will have the money from your first house soon enough- the housing market always picks up in the spring. One thing I have learn from getting older is that money spent on help is never wasted. Good luck and I hope you will be very happy in your new home.

Jessity Thu 24-Jan-19 07:43:51

Good luck with the move, you seem so sensible and organised. To see if furniture fits before you get to the new house, I’ve found it useful to use a pad of graph paper. Mark the room size, windows, doors, etc., then using the same scale, cut out shapes for the major items. It’s not the same as reality, always feels different in real life, but at least you’ll know in advance if some items are too big for a particular location.

Wonderful to be able to buy and move before selling. Yes you’ve to keep an eye on the old house but you’ve avoided such a lot of stress.

J52 Thu 24-Jan-19 07:53:56

I do hope it all goes well for you. We downsized 3 years ago and like you say it took at least a year in planning and decluttering before going on the market.
One thing I might suggest is that you leave some of the furniture that isn’t going in your current home. Viewers apparently, like to see rooms with furniture rather than empty rooms. It helps with imagining their own furniture in the house.
Those unwanted pieces then can be disposed of, perhaps to a charity.
Good luck.

LullyDully Thu 24-Jan-19 08:03:59

You sound so similar craftyone to my dear friend, that I almost thought she had joined gransnet. Good luck, she like you has got her head in the right place after four years. She hopes to move into town this Spring.

All the best to you in your exciting new venture....never easy to do it all alone.

Jane10 Thu 24-Jan-19 08:48:16

Sounds good! Very sensible. When we did such a move we found a small company which supplied a van and two men to help. They charged by the half day and happily came and went between our our old house and the new flat. It was amazing how quickly it was all done and at such reasonable cost. Might there be such a service near you? You don't want to be any more stressed physically than you need to be. The big removal companies charge a fortune but there are these alternatives. Good luck with it all.

Anniebach Thu 24-Jan-19 09:04:42

I dread the thought of moving yet again , thought house move two years ago was the last.

midgey Thu 24-Jan-19 09:23:46

You can often find a ‘man with a van’ who will be much cheaper than a removal company. The very best of luck to you.

wildswan16 Thu 24-Jan-19 09:50:11

You are sounding very organised and it is good to be realistic about what we need as we get older.

You will I'm sure need a "man with a van" to move your larger pieces of furniture, so do let them also take lots of boxes etc. They will then have the hard work of lifting and carrying and it will be no more expensive.

David1968 Thu 24-Jan-19 10:09:47

craftyone, you are doing the sensible thing - and while you are young enough to deal with it. I've mentioned before that last year DH & I moved to a smaller home and we love it, (We spent at least 18 months in preparation to sell - this was de-cluttering, decoration, etc.) Your exertions will all be worth it in the end.
DH used to be a "home carer", supporting people in their homes. He lost count of the homes he went into which clearly had once been "nice" but were now shabby, cluttered, dirty and (in some cases) absolute death-traps for their occupants. (Loose carpets, old electrics, trailing wires, ruddy clutter!, inadequate lighting...) I think that in the next ten years there's going to be a real crisis with older people who need to move, but who (physically/emotionally/whatever) can't or won't do so.

Coconut Thu 24-Jan-19 10:10:04

Knowing what I have to face when we lose my Mum ( a total hoarder) it’s made me very conscious of living as clutter free as possible. Charity shops have benefited over the years every time I’ve moved ....

Aepgirl Thu 24-Jan-19 10:26:50

Good advice. Every year is my year for decluttering - I start with good intentions then get sidetracked. Over the last 10 years or so I have had to clear my parents’ home, my in-law’s home, and my sister’s home so I know how hard it is. I just need motivation.

Lancslass1 Thu 24-Jan-19 10:31:51

Well done you,Craftyone.
What one needs as one gets older are nearby shops,public transport and possibly -but hopefully not-a hospital which is not too far away.
Good Luck with your move.
De cluttering is very cathartic.
I am just taking a tea Break from doing some now

Cabbie21 Thu 24-Jan-19 10:33:21

We decluttered hugely when we moved from a 5 bed family home to a more compact 3 bed, on a bus route, near shops, doctors etc. I love the location. We too were able to buy before we sold, but could then only spend a limited amount of money on new kitchen etc. Other things have had to wait, and are far harder to cope with now.
DH still moans that I made him get rid off too much stuff. But we are still choc a bloc here. It makes redecorating very hard.
Well done and best wishes, craftyone.

jenwren Thu 24-Jan-19 10:38:22

I downsized at 63 five years ago and two weeks ago moved again to where I am now, to the middle of a town centre! yep not for me the quiet life, seeing people going about their business makes me feel alive. The big bonus is not having to drive to a railway station to get to where I want to be so in the near future giving the car up, and adding to my savings, Result.

Anja Thu 24-Jan-19 10:39:34

You sound super-organised and very sensible. Sorry to read that you lost your husband. I think you are very wise just to move a short way away as you should be able to maintain links with friends and local services.,

Good luck ☘️

inishowen Thu 24-Jan-19 10:39:41

We are 65 and 66. Husband is saying we should move soon. He doesn't like that we have ended up in the middle of a built up area. When we bought here we had fields at the top of the road, now it's miles and miles of new houses. The thing is, he's talking about moving to the country and I dread being isolated. i feel he's not thinking things through. I want to be near shops and other people.

sazz1 Thu 24-Jan-19 10:39:42

We are in the same position and have started decluttering last year. Have made a few 100 pounds selling unused and unwanted items too and also helped stock local charity shops. Hoping to put house up for sale and downsize in a few months. Good luck with the move x

rascal Thu 24-Jan-19 10:46:36

That is great craftyone I should really be thinking of downsizing too. I decluttered a few years after my dear husband died but... this home has so many wonderful memories and a beautiful view. But it's very rural in the middle of nowhere. I don't drive now because of health issues one of which is a serious heart condition. So thank goodness for online shopping! Best of luck with your move and selling your property. flowers

arosebyanyothername Thu 24-Jan-19 10:47:42

Well done! just shows what can be achieved with good planning.
We downsized 9 years ago from large 4 bed and large bills to a small 3 bed in the same area.
Our friends thought we were ‘brave’ to do it but have now done the same!

Nannytopsy Thu 24-Jan-19 10:48:28

Sazz1 we are in just the same place - I challenge you to a race! Who will move first ??

GrandmaMoira Thu 24-Jan-19 10:49:14

Good luck with your move. It is so much easier not buying and selling at the same time. I moved last month and had to buy and sell at the same time and it was a nightmare. I'm also a widow.
I started decluttering two years ago when my sons left home. I also decorated and got new carpets to help sell the house. I thought most decluttering was done then until the moving date got nearer. I started a major clear out and clean in August and worked every day for two months before the move on clearing out stuff for the charity shop and tip. I had two lofts and a cellar. I found loads of stuff I never knew I had!
My new house is lovely so it was worth it.