Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

Hi all, I've woken up to yet another grey monsoon day! So pleased bathroom roof is fixed, it's dry in there, thank you kind roofer! Can't tell in bedroom yet. Have to buy some damp seal today and paint both areas with it, then paint.

Car is full of car boot things my daughter cleared out, I'm not going. It's horrible that the weather has yet again changed from cold to boiling and unbearable, just like last summer.

I've started another thread for my viewing adventures. Two good in the morning with the viewing agent, then someone was coming at 3.30 pm. I was messing about from about 2.30 pm, didn't want to mess the house up! As it was so hot I took the dog outside and sat on the front steps with him until 3.25 pm, then sat in the car with him waiting for the EA man. It was 24 degrees in the car, so I was quite worried, had all the doors open. The EA man arrived and we chatted until 3.40 pm ... he rang the office and said no sign yet. The girl in the office rang and apparently the viewer thought it was tomorrow, but they could get here in half an hour. The EA man finishes at 4 pm so I said I would be happy to do it.

Unfortunately I hadn't thought it through - as the car was an oven I had to do the viewing with my dog on the lead Obviously couldn't lock him in anywhere as the viewers want to see house and garden.

I couldn't believe it when I was met by a young couple and three tiny children at the front door. Very apologetic as they thought it was tomorrow, they were sorry her Dad couldn't join them. The Mum was on the ball, but when the Dad put the baby down he raced off at speed, I felt very anxious during the viewing. Chaotic, truly, there were just too many of them. Very pleasant and enthusiastic but I don't think they were 'the one'. Whole day dominated by viewings, felt a bit depressed last night.

Mosaicwarts glad 2 of the viewing went to plan. Pretty bad of the last one. He shouldn't have put the baby down. When my daughter took me viewing bungalows my grandson was carried in her arms. As it would have been bad manners to have put him down and let him roam about. Best just chalk it up to experience.
Glad your roofer did such a good job. Hope your daughter does well at the car boot.

Exactly the same here Whiff. Friday 9th is our date to move but we've still not exchanged due to our buyers' buyers' solicitor being uncommunicative. Apparently they are sitting on the deposit money already but want to do millions of final checks!
How can we be expected to organise a move with only a few days' notice? I hope you and all the others on here keep calm and focused, though it's hard.

EA rang with some feedback this morning. Everyone thought it was beautiful, which is nice as I feel everything is shabby/broken now and I do miss my packed up decluttered things which I liked looking at - but too personal.

Luckily my badly hidden anxiety didn't put the young couple off, they've booked a second viewing

Glad to hear you had positive feed back Mosaicwarts and a second viewing. Had a melt down last night. I was watching Curtain the last Poriot (sure that's spelt wrong) and it always makes me cry when he dies. Flood gates opened and that was it. At least I know why. I am on the last few days before the contracts are due to be exchanged. I have been in this position before. Should have moved September and then March. My buyers are on hols my worry is when they come back on Thursday they have changed their minds. I just don't want to go through all of the heart ache again. Had it happened twice surely I am due for my luck to change. Sorry I am coming over as a pity me character. I'm not but it wears you down getting your hopes up only to have them dashed. All I want is to move closer to my kids. Is it to much to ask.
When I first put my house on the market I was so naive just thought it was a case of selling it buying a bungalow. Didn't enter my head that things could go so wrong. This has been my home for 34 yrs. It was easy then we sold our old house and brought this one. Had no problems. Is it the times we live in or just I had my late husband with me then.

Oh whiff, you are so close to the edge, somehow you find the inner strength to keep going, you and my other friends on here.

Mosaics, that second viewing does sound promising, I am hoping that they don`t need too big a mortgage, maybe they have had a windfall. The EA will know all their details, ask EA about their position. I could not bear it if you got hopes up again for no reason. Perhaps they want a project. The fact that they genuinely got the date wrong and quickly came with their children, that tells me they are keen, perhaps worn out and mixed up with several viewings.

It would be nice, wouldn`t it if it became a family home once again

Whiff, yes buying and selling was easy then and cheap, I think gazumping only started in the 70s. We sold to a cash buyer and next day someone offered us more but we said no, we had given our word. We downsized to a more comfortable mortgage, went from a detached with large garden to a semi. It was cheap enough to do and put us into a comfort zone. I think we moved 7 times, even doing the renovating cottage thing at one point and sometimes for work but it never cost that much. If we fancied a change then we just sold and moved

Hugs to you both Whiff and craftyone, thanks for sharing everything, it has definitely taught me a lot and I am trying to steel myself

I find it very hard being seen as older as well as widowed. I wonder if these people realise we might look old, but our minds are still young? When I got the offer from the dodgy purchaser in May, I was so desperate for help I went down to my neighbours. I just couldn't see the wood for the trees and had to discuss it with someone. I took a bottle of wine round yesterday to thank the people who gave me the name of the marvellous builder who repaired my roof. They are going through the mill trying to sell their £1M house, but going through it together. The woman said she's finding it hard to find somewhere big enough ... they have lived in their house for 35 years. 8 bedrooms! 8!

The young couple are returning with her Dad, I'm sure he'll advise against it. Three tiny children with Uni looming in the future, who knows what will be happening in the future. I was supporting my daughter through Uni and her rent was £433 pcm, plus I gave her £200 pm for food. Steve didn't want her to have to work while she was at Uni, and had saved for it. I'm glad he did, her Uni house was in a scary area, I wouldn't have liked her to be walking home from a waitressing/bar job late at night. She is very, very good with her money - too good really, she saves the smallest bits of food in the fridge and I have to invent odd dishes to make a meal with it!

When we left London in 1999 the slimy estate agent couldn't sell our house fast enough, he was in with clients before our details were on line. Sold instantly and was a company relocation move, so I wasn't really involved at all.
Our two bed Victorian terrace there is now £450K - it's a joke I'm selling a five bedroom house here for £400K. But there isn't the work here, or the earnings potential. I was earning £25K + LW as a lecturer in Twickenham in 1999 - left work to move up here and could only get part-time teaching at an hourly rate. Made redundant at 49
and did several minimum wage jobs where I couldn't save a bean. Roll on the next four years to my state pension!

Look at it this way Whiff, your buyers are probably on a beach relaxing and dreaming about their soon to be new home. There's no reason for them to pull out now. It will all come together this week, that's what we're telling ourselves after weeks of being so close to the finishing post.
I think you're right that things are more complicated with house selling/buying in this day and age. It's all so uncertain until the last minute. Hang on in there. Good luck.

Craftyone, Mosaicwarts and Ellianne thank you for your support. I'm ok now. Gave myself a good talking to and are back on track. In face I have numbered all my boxes as Craftyone's suggested in your other thread and wrote an inventory. Sent an email to my solicitor asking her to check with my buyers solicitor that the only thing needed doing is for them to sign. Their buyer signed 2 weeks ago and I signed 4. Fingers crossed all goes well. Hope all goes well for everyone else.

I am pretty sure our silicate the problem. Things only happen when I phone, when I can get an answer.

Solicitor not silicate!?

I was killing a bit of time just now, ambled upstairs with a duster and there is hardly any dust anywhere, I kid you not I dusted 3 weeks ago if not more. I have a roomba, had him for years now, replaced his battery and brush. Ooh he is such a good worker, I switch him on and get on with something else, I can hear him beavering and all I have to do is empty his rubbish bin. The windows clean themselves, I noticed that when it rains. The cills outside are a lovely grey stone and never need a clean

I was thinking ahead at one point, yes I could get a cleaner or so I thought but I cannot see me ever needing one, except perhaps once a year for bottoming but then again roomba does that, he goes under anything he can

I need to get my arris in gear, want to get involved in some local groups, want to go to pilates. I still feel unsettled to an extent, it all feels very new. I need to get myself out of inertia and procrastination and do more than make a garden and sort a cupboard. I blame the weather, I cannot take the heat at all.

I came on to say, if a brand new home turns up, they have such a lot to offer internally, not least the much lower energy bills but ease of cleaning too

How far is the library craftyone? Used to have local events on the board in the old days - probably one of those graphic squares now for you to put your Iphone over! I dreamt of being in my new 'new' house last night, and being unable to leave it. I hope I will be able to make a new life for myself. I need to advertise the bike, this heat has made me feel horrible, I just can't be bothered to do anything and I MUST!

Off to watch Love Island .. my daughter's fault, it's such rubbish it's relaxing.

Night night!

I confess to also watching love island, I don`t have to think and wish at their age that I had dared to bare some of what they bare

Yes the library is close by, in the car park but a few minutes walk. I have U3A in my sight and pilates classes but tbh want to concentrate on prepping parts of my garden ready to move allotment plants and to receive ordered fruit trees. I had a dream about about not leaving enough time, that running and getting no-where type of dream. I started physical work the next day.

Today I already bought and moved top soil and slabs. Buying more soil in a mo for my raised beds and all day will be physical outdoors. I like that tbh and have only needed cbd oil once, took a gummy bear yesterday and remarkably I can straighten up without groaning

I'm glad you've posted, I feel upset today The very nice reliable handyman I was counting on to do something with the rotten window sills is busy with three large jobs, and can't help me. I won't have time to find someone before the second viewing, I'm sure her Dad will roll his eyes in horror. It's so difficult when you are on your own isn't it, Steve would have known all the local work people from his darts team/pub visits. I must calm myself before my daughter comes back tonight, the house is on the market as a renovation project and the sills are part of it.

I loved being out in the garden too, enjoy! Nothing nicer than planting with the blue tits chattering in the trees. I have let it go to pot over the three years - the cherry tree has now reverted back to its rootstock and I've got bramley apples coming! I've got sleeper beds full of weeds rather than veg, the lawn mower man keeps strimming it for me. Just don't have the energy to clean the house and dig the garden. Did you ever read the Dimsie books by Dorita Fairlie Bruce? I had the whole set in our garage and sadly all water damaged so had to go. Dimsie had a huge herb garden she tended and I'm going to have one at my 'new' house. Mint will be in a bucket though!

Off to collect my winter coat from the cleaners, enjoy your day and careful to bend your knees with all that lifting! x

Mosaics don`t worry about those cills, I would expect to replace cills if I was doing a renovation project. They certainly would not stop your young people if they want a renovation. There are people out there who can see past what is in front of them and I bet the parents will confirm that it is the house for them. They can live on site while doing the work and not many properties would be suitable for that. Yours is pretty, large and one of a kind. Keep your spirits up, to me those people sound positive rather than negative

So back to the garden, which is not yet a garden. I love being out and getting dirty

Thank you craftyone. I do worry about everything constantly but as you say, it is a renovation project! I have bought the damp seal today, and will get the big ladder upstairs and do my ceiling tomorrow. I'll do the downstairs the next day. And I will put my bike on facebook to sell.

The plan was to show second, interested viewers, 'extracts' from my survey - but when my roofer read the survey sectioon about the roof, then went up and looked, said that in his opinion he thought it didn't need completely renewing, it had been repaired badly in the past. I'm not going to make the extracts available and risk putting them off completely.

Doesn't rain but it pours - daughter coming back from London and she's just texted - the train she's on isn't 'off peak' so she's been asked to buy another £100 ticket. Argh!

Was only £60.00. LNER super off peak is different to Cross Country super off peak, just found out to my cost!

Mosaicwarts. I wonder if the young womens dad is a builder or someone who is very good at diy. He will probably be able to give them a rough idea how much it would cost to make your home the way they would want it. Then they may put in an offer.
It is hard doing it on your own. Even after 15yrs I miss my husband every day. He is the one person I want and need most. But I am lucky I have the family and friends I 've got. This may seem silly but what gives me comfort is knowing my husband's DNA is in the children and grandchildren. When you are your own people can give advise but ultimately all the choices you make are yours whether they are right or wrong.
Like you and Craftyone I like the garden. But since my husband died mine is to big for me to cope with and I have had a gardener . When I move I will have a small garden and will be able to look after it myself. No lawn to cut as the grass is artificial. My present to myself for my new garden will be a Gertrude Jekyll rose. It is a lovely pink full blossomed rose which smells lovely. Hope tomorrow is a better one for all on this thread.

Thanks Whiff, I am feeling horribly anxious as so many people say it's 'too much work' - but it's 172 years old, so always will be! Hopefully her Dad is a builder and will be able to do lots of it himself. I've got 14 rooms to clean, if I do two a day I'll be ready by the 6th!

I miss my husband every day too. I feel so sad that he's not here to guide my children through life, he was such an intelligent, kind and balanced man. My father was not a good husband to my mother, or parent to my brother and I, and will be 87 on the 3rd August. He's not helped me in any way since Steve died - he just sent me Sheila Hancock's book and advised me to buy a house 'near people'

Off to empty the car of some of the car boot stuff so I can get my daughter's suitcase on, she's off to the Edinburgh Fringe today. I wish I didn't have a fear of getting on trains, I've got to go and see the play and am embarrassed I am going to have to ask for assistance. I can't approach the train to press the door open button, as I'm scared of the gap! I'm far too fat to fall down it, I know that, but I can't overcome the fear.

Have a good day everyone, a lovely wren has just been pecking at the spiders on the window

I also wonder if the dad is or was a builder, someone who will give them an idea of repair price. The word renovation means just that, there will be work to do and they seem to be going in with eyes wide open. I hope that your EA is full on re selling them the lifestyle. Yes mosaics, say the least you can, mouth zipped no matter how much you want to tell them.

I have been the shops and had to buy a few more gardening things to replace vanished items. I am glad of the rain today and glad to be able to stay indoors. Today I am doing a bit of settling in, have already placed the last rolled rug on my sewing room floor, it`s becoming a cosy room and I will pop a radio in there later

I am going to try and cut down eg on bathroom cleaners. I am very much liking the flash spray, it is doing a grand job everywhere including the toilet. So that will be my only cleaner in there, in time.

I have overload of far too many things, it was the `what if` subliminal thinking from another site. Utility room cupboard under the sink today, I am going to empty it and use it for the small garden things, not muddy tools. I have loo rolls galore, I need to scatter them elsewhere

Mosaicwarts what a lot of rooms to clean . Sounds the idea size though for a family. Plenty of places for parents to escape the kids and vice versa. I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you. After my husband died all my side of the family were great. But his mother was horrible . She would never say his name. It wasn't grieve its she was always a horrible person his dad was the same. My husband always said he loved his parents because they were his parents but he never liked them. The only time his mother told him she loved him was the day he died. My parents always treated him as a son not son in law. Both my mom and husband were diagnosed with cancer in the same year. My mom could never understand why she lived and he died.

Had the completion statement from the solicitor yesterday and went straight to the bank to transfer what money I owed. Trying not to get my hopes up that my buyers will go through with the exchange on Friday. Won't know until they get back from hols Thursday

Like you Craftyone I have pared down my cleaning products. I use white vinegar spray for tiles,floors, hob, windows and sinks. For the toilet I use bleach in the bowl and anti bac wipes to clean the rest. Anti bac wipes are great on upvc window frames stops any mould forming.
Loo rolls are something I've always got plenty of. I even took 1 with me when we stayed in hotels just in case.

Hope you all have a good day.

Fingers crossed for you on Friday Whiff. It's looking like our chain is about to collapse so I'm planning unpacking some of the boxes to dress the house again to remarket it. We need to do something rather than just sit and wait being led a dance. We were told everyone was ready to exchange 4 weeks ago.

Ellianne. I am very sorry. It's awful when people have you waiting for months getting your hopes up and then let you down. When it happen the first time I only unpacked what I needed to use. With all the excess furniture gone and all the boxes in the 2 bedrooms stacked neatly I found people liked the fact they could see the true size of the rooms. It's worth thinking about. Hopefully your estate will get you some viewers soon. Fingers crossed.

Thanks Whiff, you're right. Although the house looks bare to me, the viewers might appreciate the uncluttered look. I think I'll move all the boxes to one room.
I guess it's best to stick to the same asking price is it? I think we might be prepared to accept a slightly lower offer than last time if necessary but don't want to seem desperate to let it go too cheap.