Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

Sazzl how lovely to have everyone round . Bet it was lovely and chaotic. It's a lot of cleaning and sorting to do but I don't know about you but I felt I had achieved something when everything was clean and boxed up. I put all the packed boxes into my children's bedrooms which where going into storage and all that was going with me in the car into the study.

Off to my sit fit class this morning. My daughter took me to Aintree retail park on Wednesday. I brought my first trousers since I last wore then in 1980/81 that was only to do the painting in our first home. I knew she would give me a honest opinion about I looked. Even though I've now lost 7st 10.5lbs and down from a size 32 to a 16 when I look in the mirror I know I'm smaller but I still automatically reach for bigger sizes.

My son and grandsons came on Friday and spent a wonderful 4 hrs playing with them while my son did some jobs for me. Good job he's good at diy.

Homeserve came Saturday morning and fixed my leak. Remember when washing machines had hot fill well it was that caused the leak. He removed it and put in a piece of pipe to join the pipes up. I had spoke to the water company the day before because I am on a water meter and didn't know what the drill was when you have a leak. Anyway as soon as it was fixed I needed the reading and the nice man from Homeserve read it for me. As when my daughter did it when I had the keys she needed to get on her tummy to read it . It's about 2ft down on the pavement. It needs reading again in 2 weeks then I need to give them the readings and then they will work out how much I am liable for due to the leak. Could be £40+.

Hope everyone has a good day.

They were cream melamine, and drawers with hair, makeup etc and dusty inside the wardrobes. DD moved into a really filthy house so had no time to clean here after she left. She's a one parent family working full time so we offered to clear up for her here. Also I feel being busy made me feel less stressed. On with packing tomorrow I'm doing a bit every day, just to stay focussed.
Hope everyone is getting on ok and it all goes smoothly for you. xx

Blimey sazzl I do feel ashamed ... I've never even thought of washing down the wardrobe doors! I've sold lots of things on Facebook, but the bike woman put me off listing anything else for a while as I over reacted. Glad you had a good day

Had a better day today as yesterday was chaotic. It was OHs birthday last week so he decided to cook the whole family a big roast. 3 DGC, 3 Adult children and DIL and us so 9 for tea. Was chaotic as we only have 4 chairs left so the children sat on a suit case up to a coffee table. Was a great meal though.
Today I've emptied DDs old room of everything except empty boxes and empty suitcases. All stuff she no longer wants is now in the box room. Washed down fitted wardrobe doors and drawers so that room is done. Sold 2 things on Facebook and one is being collected tomorrow. Anything that doesn't sell will move with me as I want to do a car boot sale. So 2 bedrooms now clean and clear. Feeling more positive about the mess I'm in here and all the packing now.
All the best everyone xx

Mosaicwarts I hope your buyer goes through with buying your house. A year after my husband died I decided to clean out the garage and loft as I had been on to my husband for years to do them. With the help of the children it took us 3 days to do. We filled 3 medium skips with rubbish. My husband had keep every bit of wood ,pipe ,screws ,pots of paint etc that he had used in the house for years. The kids decided their dad's legacy was rubbish literally. We filled 20 boxes and 10 large bags for charity. I had forgotten until my son cleaned out the loft ready for my move how much stuff I had got them to put up there. Why I did that I will never know. I have learnt my lesson and will not be putting anything into my loft here. That way I will not hoard.
Try and pace yourself. Have you got any family other than your daughter who could help you or friends that are willing to help .
As for the driving I can't help. I don't drive even if I could I wouldn't because I can't rely on my limbs not to start jerking.
Hope this week is a better week for you.

you have to cut yourself off from feelings when sorting tools etc. It was very hard but in the end I kept only what I knew I could use and handle. Screwdrivers, drill, allen keys, saws etc and only one set of each. I bought some cheap plastic tool boxes, labelled them and put most tools in those, the bigger tools went into some labelled 18 litre really useful boxes. Sorted, labelled and packed and ready to come with me. I will have kept more tools than most widows. Into the bigger boxes went a drill, drill bits, hammer, sander etc. One box was for house maintenance, some paint brushes, filler, duck tape etc we cannot afford to have that `what if` brain when it comes to taking tools etc, otherwise it is back to square one

There were zillions of screws, plugs etc. I kept an assortment and threw the rest out. I ended up just taking most stuff to the dump, I reached that point when it was that or my sanity. Being ruthless was surprisingly liberating

Is everyone having a good day? I've just spent hours downstairs in our storeroom sorting out tools etc - only managed to get through a quarter of it. Such a shameful mess and everything is now rusty as I've not been down there since Steve died. Initially I thought I'd try and leave some of the things that might be useful to the new owner, but then a paint lid came off - red - and went everywhere so I gave up and I've chucked it all in the car to take to the dump. Sad memory for me, Steve never sorted it out when I asked him, I didn't do it because I thought he should - I should have just done it.

I've come in to a text from my buyer - I KNOW! - saying how excited he is, and he's engaged a solicitor, but he knows future correspondence should go through the EA. I'm not going to reply, but it's nice to know he's looking forward to a future here. I've been looking at Swanage today as a possible place to live, but the problem is my driving nerves - I just can't manage fast roads any more. I would like to volunteer at the Monkey World rehabilitation centre at Wareham, but would it be a thirty minute white knuckle ride! So limiting, I do wonder if my driving fear will lessen in the future, when my grief subsides.

Enjoy the Tour of Britain tomorrow, we have the hardy souls cycling through the village of Warkworth around 2 pm ish, luckily we can walk down to see them.

Are you thinking of moving bingo12? Pickfords have let several people on here down badly, especially Whiff, who has suffered both lost and broken items. Their customer service seems to be appalling.

Thanks for replies. Re. Pickfords - was disappointed in them a few years ago - things lost.

As my daughter is feeling so poorly I've just walked us around the 'floor plan' of my house, and made notes of what is to go into storage.

No news from the EA whether the buyer went into the offices yesterday, so I'm not going to think about it again until Monday. I've been pretty skint all my life, and worry that I can't take certain things and will have to replace them - washing machine, fridge etc - hopefully these may be built in if I buy a new build. I must make a list and start selling the things I'm not going to take that he definitely won't want - like the broken super king bed frame! Has been successfully propped up with books for the last fifteen years.

Having yet another horrible tea to start clearing the big freezer, urgh.

Feeling very unsettled today.

Our EA did the viewings for us, 6 or 7 lots of people on a Saturday afternoon. We did, however, show one couple round a day earlier because they said they were at a wedding on the Saturday, (not sure if that was true!).

Tbe system you mention bingo12 happened to us when we sold in France. The prospective buyer had a cooling off period of a week after his offer before he had to sign the "compromis de vente." I remember it was a good few months or more before completion. The English system is so much more stressful.

Mosaicwarts every time I booked the removals company I always took out all the insurances especially the cancellation/ postponement one. Which was a good job as I had postpone 3 times. Only had to pay an extra £92 each time I rebooked instead of losing thousands. Who ever is moving don't use Pickfords 2 weeks on and still no resolution over my missing items etc.

Bingo12 until the contracts are exchanged people are free to pulled out at any time with no reason or penalties. As others have said people are liars when it comes to buying houses. Twice buyers pulled out on me just before the contracts where exchanged.

Hello bingo12, the EA do ask the potential viewers these questions, but unfortunately it appears some people do not answer them with complete honesty.

My first buyer told my EA he was a cash buyer in rented accommodation, and she emailed me with this information when she booked the viewing. I jumped through hoops when he requested a second viewing as I was away, my son had to take time off work, it was all very exciting at the time in the early optimistic days. He made a low offer a few days later .... and when I asked for an increase it transpired he actually had a £750K house to sell before he could proceed. This was in May, and I've looked on line, he's still on the market.

I'm in England, I believe the deposit system is in Scotland? I wish we had the same system here, it's very stressful waiting to see what will happen and many people on here have suffered the agonies of having their buyer withdraw at the last minute. I could be one of them.

As for doing the viewings yourself, there are pros and cons aren't there. I did a couple of my viewings with very pleasant people, was surprised to find they hadn't read the details, and some made odd assumptions - like the man who thought my boiler was too small to heat the house because I had a portable electric radiator in the kitchen.

I hope my sale goes through and I never have to have another viewing, but won't count my chickens.

Ellianne it was good of you to share that information, I can't believe how haphazard it all appears. I think I may have mentioned my friend's removal lorries were stolen, they lost everything they owned when they moved up from London. Must have been some sort of gang, neither the lorries or her possessions were ever found. We're going round the house today to decide what to take - I've just seen Steve's friend at the golf club and offered him my grandfather clocks. Neither of them work, but he might be able to use some of the parts. They were my parents clocks, I'll miss them, but they wouldn't 'fit' into my new white shiny life.

Must rustle up some sort of lunch as my daughter is home, I don't normally bother but she's got a stinker of a cold and needs vitamins!

That was me mw or at least I was saying that's what I should have done even though it would have added £750 to the bill. I can sort of see it from the removal companies' point of view in that they don't want lots of people dropping out at the last minute. What is disgraceful, however, is their unhelpful attitude, especially almost insinuating *Nannytopsy" was lying.

Hi everyone - I have only read through the first 5 pages here but would like to say - why does the estate agent not check that the potential viewer/buyer has the money in the first place or has own property on the market before any viewing?
Also I thought if offer was made and accepted the buyer had to sign a contract and pay a non-refundable 10% deposit prior to completion - which is several weeks or months later?
Regarding being absent when viewings are done to make potential buyer comfortable - I would not do this in the future as I think EA ''drag bodies through the door'' just to say they have done xx number of viewing but no offers so one needs to drop price. I would ask viewer a few questions of my own.

Was it you Whiff that mentioned paying cancellation insurance for removals in case the date of completion changes, as well as a 'late key' fee?

I know it's going to be expensive having my furniture in storage as well as paying rent/bills in furnished accommodation, but feel a great sense of relief that I can have six months to search for my forever home. Both storage companies that are coming to quote will deliver to the south if I move down. Hopefully I'll have enough left to buy a property, I've just had another £700 rental through! Will be living a frugal life during the rental.

I can't get going today, must get dressed and take my doggie out to the beach.

Nannytopsy 2 am is no time to be awake and using your phone, but join the club!
It us so important we tell everyone about this last minute removal lark and how companies let people down. I actually have an email stating the dates were fine but as it was a fortnight earlier than when we phoned to properly book they said that date had gone as August is their busy period. No one told us that! So yes, movers you need to have several companies in hand or do what we did and get last minute Jack the Lad.

Sazzl hope your buyer keeps on to their solicitors as they are juggling 2. When I was packing to motivate myself I set myself a target of 2 boxes a day and then I gave myself a little treat at the end of the week. Nothing fancy silly things really like a lie in or extra biscuit that sort of thing.

Mosaicwarts when choosing where to live you need to take into consideration what type of property you want. Are there shops,drs bus routes near by. Also what I did was look to the future and asked myself what will I need in 10-20 years time. Where I used to live a 2 bed bungalow cost £250,00 -£300,00. Here my home was £220,00. A 3 bed bungalow over the road has just on the sale £240,00. Hope everything goes well for you this week.

Nannytopsy hope you got back to sleep and are enjoying your holiday.

Had to set my alarm for every 2hrs through the night to empty the box under my sink. Homeserve coming between 8-1 hope it's this morning. Had fun last looking through door brochures who knew there was such a wide choice and such lovely colours. Last time we brought a new front door was 1996. Only white was on offer upvc. Composite doors are so much better.
Hope everyone has a good day.

Somewhere up the thread, there was a question about how to book removals at short notice. We had done the 3 quotes thing and chosen one but I think he was not very organised. I checked he was free, then set the date with the conveyancers. When I went back, he denied the phone call. I should have confirmed by email, I recognise. I went to our second quote and he was fantastic. Very reassuring that in today’s climate exchange/completion is very rushed -ours happened at the last minute, over 24 hours - and they just keep juggling balls. Keep talking to them and discuss your worries at the outset to get a feel for their attitude.
We are in a 16C manoir tonight but crashed into bed at 9pm. Now wide awake. ?

sazzl, all I could see on the 'active' thread was

"Well we saw the agent today and our buyer has changed"

and my heart sunk for you! Very glad they've taken such prompt action, let's hope they all communicate effectively and you don't have to wait too long for the survey.

Hopefully I won't have to wait too long either, it will become real then. Real and really stressful waiting!

I've just been hanging out catching up with my daughter today - she's very tired after her Belfast adventure. Good tip about packing clothes, I don't think I'll be wearing any summer clothes now, they can all be packed. Got dark so early tonight and the wind is still whistling outside. No tiles off luckily! I must chase that written quote from the roofer, it's been weeks - and the window quote. I'm nervous to see the sash window quote. Perhaps he's nervous to send it as it's so huge.

I've been on the web looking at different places to live tonight. I haven't a clue how to choose where to go, I just know I want to live in a multicultural society again, and near the sea. I watched a relocation programme and the couple wanted to move to Arran. It looked beautiful, but like the Isle of Wight, I don't want to be on an island and dependant (or is it dependent?) on boats to get to the mainland. Probably because I can't swim!

Cat's just come in finally so I can go to bed. No pressure of any kind tomorrow, just have to wander around the house deciding what furniture to take, my daughter is going to help me. I wish I could take the Aga, I'm going to miss it such a lot. I think I'll have to treat myself to a tumble drier when I move, I've not had one for the last 15 years. A silly mouse had eaten through the wiring.

Have a good day tomorrow everyone

Well we saw the agent today and our buyer has changed solicitors to proceed with their mortgage. So they are selling with one solicitor and buying with another. Apparently mortgage provider won't recognise the first solicitor as they only have 3 directors and it needs 4 to be on their panel! Agent said they should be booking the survey next week. TG we don't need a mortgage again everything is so difficult nowadays.
Been doing handwashing today and my sister did the big things sheets, towels, bathrobe, etc in her 9kg machine which helped a lot. Did some packing yesterday clothes shoes etc summer wear and stuff I wear to weddings, on a cruise etc. Need to clean inside and outside of wardrobe and cupboards over them next. Also sold DGD's cot bed for daughter so a bit more out of the house.
Good luck mosaic just do a bit every day that's what I'm doing
All the best everyone xxx

Whiff, what a thoughtful and beautiful present for you, many hours making it, all that love gone into it

My hair has only just started to thicken up after my jaundice 2yrs ago. Noticed today all the new hair is grey. Won't be dyeing it though. Can't be bothered with all that. Good job my son and grandsons came today. Got a leak under the kitchen sink. Homeserve coming tomorrow. At least he explained to them what is wrong. To me it was just a leak . My daughter in law has crocheted me a beautiful blanket. Told her she should sell them she is very talented.

Mosaicwarts hope you are alright and your coffee cake was tasty.

oh dear, more stress effects, my hair has gone thinner again, just like it did weeks after my husband died. It took ages to grow it thicker again. It is insidious, not noticed day by day until that day you put your hand up to hair and realise that looking in a mirror at that angle would show pink scalp showing through. Just proves that stress has an effect on the body and can show itself weeks or months later. I`ll just have to go back to eating 100% healthily and then wait patiently

Re storage, we went into rented once and managed to get an unfurnished house with garage so we did not have to put anything into actual storage, however it was crammed floor to ceiling. The fog does lift mosaics and I agree that dd needs to be more involved, at least on a practical level

Just an idea but maybe find or empty one room and put anything in there that you don`t want and when full as can be, then get a clearance company in. You shouldn`t be doing all this physical work yourself. Also make a list and label the big things that need to go. Time to give in a bit and let a professional clearer carry some of the load

Franbern, thinking of you and hope all is well, going forward