Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

So sorry Riversidegirl. I am feeling extremely anxious about selling my house. I was disappointed not get any feedback from the viewing I did last Wednesday, in the evening. The EA has left a voicemail without response, which is obviously a negative, but I found it stressful waiting all day for a viewing and it would have been nice of them to have at least said something.

As a widow I'm expecting problems and have already got out my mountains of paperwork to start sorting, but it is a knife in my heart every time I see Steve's writing.

Fingers crossed everything goes well for you.

Oh we all seem to be suffering in different ways. In some strange way, it makes me feel a tad better. But I know we all try to overcome fears.

Viewings are dire - we could have had the EA but it was always easier to just be there ourselves (although I did take to choosing to take dog for a long walk when they came and leave DH behind after a few weeks of 'its lovely but not for us' type comments).
I have said this before....but the people who actually bought the place saw it at its most chaotic and messy....we had already packed to move and every room was a mess. Somehow they saw through it all and actually said it was easier to picture their things in place. Moral of the story, be a bit easier on yourselves about viewings. Do get rid of all the really personal stuff and be generally hygienic....but apart from that I'm not sure the whole 'show home' thing is actually needed for the right person.

It hasn`t stopped but different stress now and all to do with buying things. I had a long fraud check on the phone from halifax bank yesterday and today my smile credit card was rejected. Its blooming horrible, the money is there but they are making me feel criminal, just for wanting to get some plants and a tv and the person who has quoted for my shutters and I have accepted his quote, has sent his bank transfer details and I cannot do that either because being laptop tethered to the mobile, signal is not strong enough to run the phone cheack as well as get the code numbers on screen. I have not been able to print off any receipts or invoices either. Give me pen and paper any day

I hope you do the £1 check before you pay money over to bank details? And check if you get a "change of details" email? Ok, I know you probably know, but stress makes us do things we would not normally do. I have done some uncharacteristic and funny things this last week.

I just had yet another fraud check from the halifax. I drew money out of several savings accounts to fund my new house and now that my old house has completed, I need to get money back into savings. The woman said that they have had a lot of frauds lately so ok, I should feel safer but it is so annoying. They ask me all sorts of questions and eg the man yesterday said `but you hesitated about the date` it was all I could do not to yell at him to say but I am shattered I have just moved house. It is beyond a joke and the real fraudsters get away with it

Sorry I haven't thanked all of the people who responded to my last post. A lot of of things have been going on. My estate agent phoned the other week to say my buyers were going to have to put their house on the market. The parents of the young woman were going to give them £55,000 towards buying my house ,but they could only get £30,000 as they are remortgaging their house . Why on earth didn't they find out before making the offer how much they could get. When we brought our first house in 1980 we found out how much we could borrow and the same again before we brought the current house in 1985. How the young couple thought they could keep the house they already had and buy my house I don't know. I suppose the idea was to rent that one out and that income would pay towards both houses. Seems greedy to me. Anyway their house went on the market on Tuesday and they accepted on offer on Saturday. My estate agent is hand

Sorry pressed wrong button on my key board. Where was I? My estate agent is handling the sale of their house. Which is good as they can keep up to date on the progress. The vendors of the bungalow are still showing it. I know if they get a better offer they will dump me. I will get another bungalow my priority is selling this house. Just hope the couple buying don't pull out on me, twice is enough. On a happier note spent a wonderful four days in Liverpool with the family. My three grandsons keep me going when the stress gets to much. Trying to be positive. Fingers crossed nothing else goes wrong with my sale.
Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine and all your selling and buying of houses goes smoothly.

Oh Whiff, sounds an ordeal. I am still reeling from finally selling ours and I totally understand the frustration of buyers being 'economical' with the true state of their affairs and wishes. Drives me mad when you are told they are straightforward cash buyers (and they have somehow fibbed their way past the EAs with some sort of 'proof') to then find out that there is not only a Mortgage but also money from the 'help to Buy' scheme which causes further delays. Hey ho....any road up its lovely being on the other side of all that stress but boy am I paying the price. Worrying BP, weight gain (stress induced biscuits and wine consumption) and several double migraines. Am slowly beginning to enjoy our lovely new home now and looking out onto the new garden and making plans is slowly becoming so much more real and enjoyable. Do hope you are getting some answers and hang in there....it does get better! P.S. have made a solemn vow not to buy any more wine until at least September.....but with the garden builders due in a couple of weeks will have to lay in stocks of 'builder's biscuits!

I didn't know that sellers had to provide passport and council rates evidence. Fortunately we have it all there and ready before the agent comes to give us an estimate. Just out of interest, how much did anyone drop the price from the original asking price?

Riversidegirl my asking price was £224,950 The first time I accepted £220,000. After she pulled out I reduced to £220,000. My second buyer I accepted £210,000. She pulled out but I kept the house at £220,000. My third buyer I accepted £207,000 for a quick sale unfortunately that is not happening quickly. If they pull out I will stick to my guns next time and not accept below £210,000. Hope that helps.

HildaW thank you for your post. Much appreciated.

I had always felt our EA was a bit over ambitious - proof came when I realised all the viewers were of a 'type'. They could all afford it but had daft ideas about country living. We dropped by 5% after 4 months and had a different kind of potential buyer....more realistic people who had sound reasons to be moving to the area. We accepted an offer another 2% off that. On paper it might seem a lot but I've always felt that house prices are tricky......after all a house is only worth what someone else is willing to give. Wishing it could be more will usually end in tears.

If I knew then, when I was younger, what I know now. I know this applies to most things but right now it is the aches and pains, the doing, shifting, carrying. The painful shoulders and arms, I am not one to ask someone to carry stuff, when I can do it myself. I can do it, always have because at 4` 11, I know how to roll stuff, use a wheelbarrow and wiggle stuff across a floor but even a serviceable drill is heavy and 2 days later, I feel it, painfully. What I am saying is that if I could have forseen ahead, then all this would have been done and dusted by age 65 or so, rather than now at age 71 and always, if possible with a spouse or OH

So today I am aching but I have set up my tv on my tv unit, aerial fitted next friday but at last I can watch a dvd. I carried a spin dryer to the garage, a tumbler is coming this morning. Doctors next and I have heard to register at a close by market town, not the local area. You need proofs for that too, address, utility bill (nope not had one yet) solicitors letter, passport, driving licence (sent off), a combination same as for the banks

I have many plants coming in the next few days, roses, hedging lavenders, hellebores and hydrangea annabelle. No point waiting to get the front sorted, good soil down there, west facing so it will be roses and lavender hedging in front of the house and hydrangeas and hellebores to the side but still west facing. Soil is clay and still damp but today, in spite of aches, I need to dig and prep. 50 plants coming and they all need to be treated with tlc. I know why I want to do it now, the aches will vanish but the age is creeping up and none of this will get easier. CBD, later on today, to damp things down

Sheesh craftyone, you put me to shame, so industrious. I know you will say...'well its got to be done' but being able to summon up the physical and mental strength is something to be admired.
I am sitting here waiting for the BP cuff to inflate, am on an all day cuff testing me every half hour as BP has shot through the roof. They joys of moving and selling in this darn market.....have politicians any idea how their ego led infighting impacts on our ordinary little lives?
....and deflate......
Any way at least sun is out and can look forward to enjoying our embryonic garden. Not many plants as yet as the hard landscaping is being done at end of this month. Have found a lovely little family run nursery a few minutes away so will be going there to choose what grows best in this area. DD gave DH a lovely David Austen rose for a birthday present last month....have hinted I would like similar, we love them and when a plant has an emotional connection its lovely watching their progress.
Treat yourself to a really good quality bath soak....I love a Neals Yard oil in mine....they do seem to help me relax.

Hilda, I had to work very hard on getting BP down after husband died. All to do with cortisol and being in a permanent fight or flight mode, I could hear my heart beating very loud in my ears when I lay down at night

So I concentrated on me and getting this bp down. Made myself eat properly and every day it was a simple meal in one rice cooker. Brown rice umboshi plums carrots frozen fish on top and green veg added soon before it was ready. Meditation CDs, during the day and getting to sleep. Being busy helped me mentally and still does and slowly but slowly my BP normalised and I put my monitor away

Moving obviously caused inflammations again. My hands and legs swelled and shoulders and arms ached, yesterdays aches were from carrying and lifting. I may well be at the end of the worst patch of heavy work and already can feel my a aches subsiding

I am falling in love with this new smaller house and have a lovely neighbour, who admits he is useless at DIY and gardening but he is very helpful and seems kind. The house is less to clean and less dusty and I am loving the very beautiful area and the picturesque neighbourhood. I do believe that all the stress will have been worth while

The annoying thing with stress induced anxiety is that in the quiet times you fully understand the theory...fight or flight etc....but when blinded by the panic that can quickly come over you it is so difficult to remember that theory. Any way slowly I am sure things will calm down.
Oh I am totally with you on the small house thing. We are now in a neat new build, half the size but with lovely views and a small friendly active village (so many can be dormitory places near here). Three bedrooms is ample now and one of them is a permanent office anyway. Cordless vacuum cleaners and e cloths make for quick cleaning sessions and well designed bathroom/loos are also a doddle. Who wants all that space to keep clean? Not me...yes I could employ someone, we can afford it but its just not me...so a quick flick here and there and all is done.
I find myself watching the property programmes about folks retiring in the country and they all feel they need vast kitchens with islands and uppmty tump bedrooms just in case all the family visits in one go.....no you don't because they don't....and anyway if they did that's what B&Bs are for.
P.S. we are finally both sleeping a lot better now.....had to set the alarm this morning for Drs surgery!

good Hilda, I am glad you both had a good nights sleep, I am sure it was much needed. I am going to need another month, to get more clothes hung up and craft boxes stashed away, cupboards will be built by then, floor to ceiling with lift up doors at the top, in 2 bedrooms. Took my bike out today, yes more traffic but still only 3 minutes to the shops and I am very determined to keep working on the food stashes that I have from village isolation. It will happen and it will take time. In the future, I will store 1 tin of baked beans and one tin of chopped tomatoes, so beans on toast for breakfast on the next 2 days and that will be one tin down with umpteen to go. Different mindset to be cultivated living here

Yes Hilda, escape to the country, people on the verge of retirement and definitely not planning ahead

I have to concentrate on health now and reading posts was a wake up call. Did a short cycle ride to the shops and brought a bag of veg back, then spent a while making veg juices, some of which I have frozen.
Heavy in beetroot this time, good for expanding blood vessels and lowering BP

Easy stuff on my plate today, dishwasher is arriving and will be installed at 9.30. 12 potted roses for the front also arriving. I want to catch the current season and the soil is still moist, will plant with fungi and bone meal. Washing is on to hang on an airer outside, oh I just realised, I am doing normal things, never thought it would happen

Noted craftyone....I must get some beetroot! thanks X

I have had lots of premonitions that everything regarding sale and purchase was going far too well. Knew I was right.
So, yesterday had call from my EA's telling me that the Cash Purchasers for my purchasers house had just pulled out. This meant her house was going back on the market with immediate effect. She says she still wants to buy my house, but, obviously, until she has another offer cannot proceed.
My EA's advise me to put my house back on the market and they plan viewings this coming weekend. Still to keep it open with that lady but they will let her know that I cannot just wait around for her to find another purchaser. I feel sorry for her, but have no alternative but to do what my EA's advise me.
So, as I am away this weekend, I am rushing round trying to ensure house is neat and tidy ready for these viewings.
I do know that where I hoping to purchase the flats do not sell all that quickly, so still have hopes that I will eventually be able to proceed with purchase of flat I have chosen there, but who knows???
This whole dreadful system in this country must be due for some sort of proper overhaul sometime soon.
I trying very hard not to get too stressed, but just let matters run their course.

Franbern, yes, you must think of yourself and have your house back on the market. Unfortunately you cannot waste your emotional energies feeling sorry for other lady.
Sounds a bit heartless I know but it is a tough business. If you had one firm offer am sure you will get another! All the best.

Franbern sorry to hear you have had to put your house on the market. I know what a pain that can be. Don't know if you have read my posts but I have had to do that three times. My first and second buyer pulled out just before contracts were to be exchanged. The young couple buying my house accepted an offer on theirs last Saturday. Here's hoping all goes smoothly this time . People say to me third time lucky but I know I can't get my hopes up.

The estate agent I am dealing with in Liverpool let me know this week that the vendors of the bungalow I am hoping to buy have reduced the price by £10,000. Ever since they accepted my offer it was never taken off the market and they have still been showing it. I have contacted my solicitor this week to see if by the time I exchange contacts with my buyers and they are still willing to sell me the bungalow if I can pay the reduced price and not what I offered. I don't know what the legal situation regarding that. But to be honest I am expecting them to not sell to me.

Hope you get another buyer soon.

Franbern, whiff and mosaics and anyone else in that awful limbo situation, am thinking about you and sending some of my spare energy vibes. The house system in England is truly shocking and seems designed to induce stress

So sorry Franbern I hope she can sell quickly and your plans aren't delayed for too long. I am absolutely dreading the coming months of viewings over the summer.

Thanks for the good wishes craftyone, it's so miserable isn't it. Viewing number 9 this year on 21st May and another on 10 June, so I'm having a two day break from 28-30th May. I'll call it that as it's not really due to the travelling, I'm exhausted at the thought of it. Taxi, airplane, taxi, ferry, taxi. Our taxi firms don't start until 10 am because of the school run so I've had to book a 5 pm flight. I'm going down to see my 82 year old aunt on the Isle of Wight. My lovely son is moving in to look after our dog and cat. When I pay a cat sitter my cat can go in and out day and night, now she's elderly I worry about her. I keep her in overnight and Jonny will do that. I'll tell my son what to 'hide' in case another viewing comes through but I do normally get notice.

Have a good Sunday. I've just put my winter jumpers away, and the sky has clouded over ominously!