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Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

(1001 Posts)
craftyone Thu 21-Mar-19 07:52:20

I have a bad stress headache today, never normally get headaches. I am buying a new house before selling my own, at least that was the plan. There has been a buying hold up, caused by waiting for sight of an important document. All in all 3 months has turned to 8 months. Just waiting for one document, which was `in the post` to nhbc

My buyer, february viewings, is starting to lay on the pressure. I had 25 extra and difficult questions to answer yesterday, some relating to building planning dating back to 6 years before we moved in, a new build.

The whole idea was that I would complete on my new home and move in stress-free, a bit at a time. I will definitely not move to rented. I had a string of people wanting to buy my property and will delay my buyer if needed

The stress is awful, widowed, doing it all myself and even with a good solicitor, I am churning up inside after yesterday`s questions

craftyone Tue 03-Sept-19 19:30:23

oh yes definitely Ellianne. I cannot tell what wood it is but generally is hardwood if it is fairly heavy, it will be worth treating it. Go onto woodfinishes direct, I use osmo because it is the best but there are other cheaper makes
www.wood-finishes-direct.com/product/osmo-wood-stain-protector

Just sand in the direction of the grain with medium wire wool, then rinse, let dry and oil asap. Do all sides. That looks an ok bench with nice wide arms for your mugs

Ellianne Tue 03-Sept-19 17:46:43

We inherited this bench with the property craftyone. Would your treatment work on it?

Congratulations * Nannytopsy*, what a relief for you and if I remember correctly you're off on holiday in a few days.
MICE, we have two very experienced catchers if anyone would like to borrow them. We rescued them as kittens in France and in our London house they used to see off foxes as well as catching all sorts of rodents!
Hang on in there sazz1, it will happen for you.

craftyone Tue 03-Sept-19 17:41:18

A full structural survey will be fine, it will be about cracks, mines, drains etc and other than that you pretty well know what will be in it. I would agree with you accepting this offer, best to not push too hard into a corner and he is right about falling prices. You need to get out pdq and then you will be in the fine position of being an unshackled buyer. The house selling situation has changed very much, gone are the days when it was a sellers market, it is now a buyers market. There is this small time window and then the market will close for winter. He will instruct his surveyor as soon as the offer is accepted and you will then be able to relax a bit because he will be starting to spend money

Ellianne Tue 03-Sept-19 17:39:28

ooops the last bit got lost somewhere ......
Don't do any negotiating with the buyer yourself, leave it all to the EA now. That's what you're paying her to do.

Ellianne Tue 03-Sept-19 17:31:21

Well you're heading in the right direction mw. I would try for a bit more if your EA is confident he can afford more. We had cash buyers who went up £25k twice, so they obviously had the full asking price money all along. Don't do any n

mosaicwarts Tue 03-Sept-19 17:01:21

Thank you all for bothering to write, it's lovely of you all and I do appreciate it. I can't talk to my daughter as she gets too upset.

I've finally heard, what a tiring day hanging around waiting, I did try to keep busy but failed.

He has increased his offer by a small amount and is still quoting the Brexit drop in house prices/renovation costs as his concern. I am not sure if I've been foolish going on the market 'pre Brexit', perhaps I should have waited. The EA has insisted on trying for another £5K, I said I am happy to accept his offer, now I've got one I really don't want to lose him but she said she has a good relationship with him. He is asking for a full structural survey, she is getting a recommendation from another source, plus I am recommending mine.

I do hate being a grown up you know. I had never realised or appreciated how much of the responsiblity for our life Steve shouldered, I'm feeling the full weight of it all at the moment.

Anyway - Bake Off tonight! I've got a tub of Ben and Jerry's and will make sure it's properly melted before I eat the whole tub, blame The Golden Girls! xx

sazz1 Tue 03-Sept-19 14:57:12

Mortgage Advisor not provider

sazz1 Tue 03-Sept-19 14:54:04

Also my DIL told me that often if you arrange to see the mortgage provider recommended by the estate agent it often tales a few weeks longer as they are very busy. Don't know if it's true but might help someone in a hurry to get a mortgage

craftyone Tue 03-Sept-19 14:06:22

if you know his full name and where he is from then use the power of the net and find out anything you can about him. Do the same with facebook, just put his name and locality into the search box. I found a fair bit about my buyer as in what sport she does, where she lived etc If he is a prof developer then there might be a company so enter `name` companies house`. Got to keep occupied right now, I know it is stomach churning

mosaicwarts Tue 03-Sept-19 13:40:29

Ah sazzl, I'm so sorry, but thank you for sharing as it helps us all. Fingers crossed the buyers take speedy action to either change solicitor or mortgage provider.

I'm feeling very nervous still, fight or flight! I didn't tell you before, but he sent the text with his questions at 11.23 pm at night. I was in bed, and at first thought I'd ignore it until morning - who sends texts at that time of night? Then I read the part where he said 'I will amost certainly make an offer tomorrow'. I thought it was worth the effort of coming downstairs to think clearly, and reply to his seven or eight questions - as Talk Talk was off I couldn't use the laptop, and had to flick up and down to his text. Finished and sent it at midnight. I said I was in the shower.

What a bore waiting is. Is he, isn't he, will he, won't he!

As the car isn't reliable (going in Thursday, can't come fast enough!) I'm going to take my dog out up the road, but the neighbour has a new and nervy rescue GSD, hopefully they won't be out. I can't run anymore, not that I could outrun a GSD!

craftyone Tue 03-Sept-19 12:45:34

I hope it is straightforward for you sazzl, after this

Mosaics, deep breath, these are delaying tactics, designed to make you anxious. Sounds likely to be a developer, so will probably be full-on when the next stage, after this important hurdle.

sazz1 Tue 03-Sept-19 12:29:03

Mosaic fingers crossed for you hope it's good news.

sazz1 Tue 03-Sept-19 12:05:23

Well we've got a hold up. Apparently our buyer has a solicitor who is not on the mortgage panel so will have to change solicitors to get their mortgage. Also their mortgage advisor went on holiday for 2 weeks and didn't advise them about their solicitors not being acceptable. We've never heard of this before but it's 20 yrs since we bought a house. Hope it won't delay it for long but so annoying.

mosaicwarts Tue 03-Sept-19 11:31:06

Well ... I'm still waiting.

Car is broken so I can't drive far and I'm out of both cat food and bread - I know! Wish I'd started my winter stockpiling!
Craving bread so pizza in, I've chosen the grotty one to start clearing the freezer, left the nice ones for my daughter. I feel overwhelmed at the thought of packing. If I do get good news today, I will sit down and write lists later and get my act into gear.

I feel guilty about my bench craftyone - I bought a Great Western Railway bench from an auction. Probably painted it ten years ago sad

I have a lot of mice here as we are on the railway line. I recommend filling any odd entrance holes with the wire mesh pan scrubbers. It's the one thing they cannot chew through. I don't mind them, I now know why most farmhouses have all their perishables in tins.

Have a good day everyone, Bake Off tonight!

Greta8 Tue 03-Sept-19 11:26:56

We've been in our new house about six weeks now. Coming from an old cottage, my husband held up the electronic mouse sensors, saying ' shall we take these, or just ditch them as we won't need them!?' Glad we took them, suspicious sounds in the roof over the external porch and front roof space - plug-ins activated including one in the roof - problem sorted - no more mouse-type noise!!

craftyone Tue 03-Sept-19 09:56:07

oh gosh yes Niobe, a neighbour from my previous home, opposite not next to me, she got mice and they got into the space beteen inner and outer house layers, eco and filled with paper insulation. Could have been a rat but the pest people were dreadful and rat/mouse is still there. The builder went bust having just bunged a massive deck into the deep soil behind her house, no protection to the supporting timbers, wet soil against wood. You can guess what is happening to the wood now and the decking itself is raised a good metre above the soil with supporting timbers inaccessible and in the soil. It is almost in a dangerous state. She only started to maintain it last year after 8 years, too little and too late

I had decking, was still in good condition, laid properly and I maintained it every single year. Paving is much more durable and would be my only choice every time

I have sanded the bench with wire wool, did it properly this year, all sides and have hosed it, ready for the oil, which I hope arrives early tomorrow. I may wait, I need a window of about 72 hours and it will take some weeks to cure fully, trick is to use very thin coats, or it will remain sticky

midgey Tue 03-Sept-19 09:52:54

Craftyone The rain diverted kit is simple. ‘ Measure twice cut once’! As the saying goes.grin
Nannytopsy what a relief. Hope all goes well for you..

Niobe Tue 03-Sept-19 09:29:23

Whiff, when we moved into our house there was evidence of mice and we got an electronic device from Screwfix. It was available in 2 sizes and I took the large one! No sign of mice since (touch wood).
My neighbours were thinking of getting decking but I gently told them that decking next to the house would give rodents a nice warm home. They decided to go with a paved patio. Phew!

Whiff Tue 03-Sept-19 08:51:42

Nannytopsy I am so happy for you. Hope all your furniture etc arrives in one piece. Wishing a long and happy life in your new home.

Does anyone know if electronic mouse scare plug ins really work? Once my mouse problem is dealt with I want to keep the little pests.

craftyone Tue 03-Sept-19 07:17:43

nannytopsy, oh I am so pleased, its been a long time coming

Mosaics, you should know today but don`t be surprised if you get a delay tactic on a raised offer, he will be pretending to be nonchalent. Get busy to take your mind off it, otherwise you will do what I did ie not settle to anything, eat all treats in the house and pace back and forth, a mini task is better

We should think about starting a maintenance thread but then again maybe not, I love this homey thread of nice people. I have some maintenance today, a garden bench that I have neglected for two years, time to put oil protection on and I have chosen osmo natural oil woodstain in larch. Instinct was to go for the clear uv protection oil but that must only be used on vertical surfaces. I used danish oil on my spinning wheel but that does need rubbing down between coats ie too much work. I will wash the bench down today and the oil will arrive tomorrow, I will use a brush and wipe it down quickly with a cloth, to get a nice finish, two coats will do it. I know where the bench cover is and have ordered a cover for my lovely bistro set. Winter is coming fast and covers will go on in november

I like the bench where it is, have a massive right angled patio and have ordered another bench is a sale, thanks midgie (sp). It will be nice having somewhere to plonk myself when the sun moves. I am having collywobbles about fixing the waterbuttes to a diverter and together esp since they said I had to use a different linking kit but I have backup here ie the builders for `just in case` Tbh I know I can do it, the worst bit will be sawing 2 cuts into the pristine new drainpipe

boho43 Mon 02-Sept-19 23:52:42

Everything crossed for you mosiacwarts - thinking of you.

mosaicwarts Mon 02-Sept-19 23:02:58

Thanks for all your support chums smile

Your words that you'd almost have given the house away in the end do resonate with me craftyone. My life has been on hold for almost a full year on 24 September, it seems that I've just been cleaning then dashing out for yet another 'viewing' and the stress has been enormous. Coming off the market will be fantastic - and I won't have to wash my slippers as often, ha ha! His offer is low, but he will have to spend a lot of money on the house, and I can still buy a small house and start my life again somewhere new. I do hope the EA gets a bit more, it's a test of her expertise isn't it. She told me she lost out when she sadly divorced from her husband and had to sell her bungalow quickly. I don't think I've told you that I hope to offer the elephant sanctuary funds towards rescuing an elephant from a trekking camp in Thailand ... I hope to still be able to do that. An elephant rescue is about £30K - most elephants are owned by mafioso who live in luxury elsewhere, allowing locals to work both themselves and the elephant into the ground to extract the 'tourist dollar'. I loved the Thai people.

Nannytopsy, I am so very pleased for you, at last. I'll finish off my gin and raise a toast to your completion tomorrow. We'll have to have an on-line house warming!

Night all xx

Nannytopsy Mon 02-Sept-19 22:19:55

Glad to hear your news MW. ?
We exchanged this morning, the removers came at 3 and we complete tomorrow! At last!

craftyone Mon 02-Sept-19 22:19:12

He is trying his luck and your EA should be able to get a little bit more, when I had my low offer my instinct said refuse and I did but then I had a panic when I realised that I too would have to start all over again. I rang EA and said to accept, they said wait and got me 5k more and believe me at that point I would have let it go at any price.

Ask your EA to help get a rental

Your garden vision would have sold me the house too, it has put a picture into his mind. Make sure now to back off, not say too much because even a single word could spark a doubt. Yes you really do have to be practical now and start packing in earnest. Push those negative thoughts away, ok things happen but no-one minded my stacks of packed boxes, you cannot live with `what ifs` be positive

Whiff Mon 02-Sept-19 22:14:20

Mosaicwarts my fingers and toes are crossed for you. I would say start sorting out and packing. You are going to move some day. I found it very freeing getting rid of things I didn't need but also upsetting coming across things with my husband's hand writing. My husband was brilliant at maths as it was very important in his job but when it came to spelling and punctuation I had to do it for him or his letters etc didn't make sense.
Your prospective having you number is not a good idea. I know you didn't give it to him. The second buyer who pulled out on me had my mobile number my fault which turned out to be a huge mistake.
Hope tomorrow brings you good news for you.

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