Downsizing, needs must

Absolutely true for me, too- Difficult and yet emancipating in some strange way- Another truth is that I'm certain I've parted with stuff that at time was hard to do but have probably totally forgotten about all these years later!

My husband died last year, I didn't procrastinate either straightaway- It was how I coped also, to keep busy- I did slow my pace later, some days to a standstill- There was once death after the next and a collection of other life events that were draining- Stuff does get done, only at a much slower pace except on high energy, motivating days ..

I've chosen to stay put at the moment, enjoy where I'm at, and just keep at it- He was a hobbyist also- Some of his items were given to others, some of it donated to charity and the rest I've been selling on eBay-

I'm keeping what brings me joy -- thank you Marie Kondo! Very thankful she published her book- It helped me immensely many times over to let go-

Yes, I thank Marie Kondo too. I never followed her methods accurately but I did use some of her ideas and philosophies. I did my underwear drawer 6 years ago and it is still pristine, trick was to use dividers and I had enough small fibre floppy bases, no idea how to describe them. They fit together nicely in a drawer and each has some expanding or squashy characteristics. It gives me joy to see my neat short row of bras and my pack of rolled knickers. I gave very many hardly used and unused bras away, to women in need, in a refuge. Sent them anonymously. I never sold anything, always gave them and believe me karma does come back

It is so difficult! I have been "sorting" prior to selling and downsizing for going on 2 years! I finally bit the bullet and asked my sister in law for help. She is going away for a few days but will come and help when she gets back, has arranged for her husband and brother to call to remove heavy items and sort the garage and she is contacting the local auction house to find out what the procedure is! I should have asked her months ago

sunseeker can you lend me your s-i-l !! I really need someone to give me a kick up the bum to declutter!

You are all ahead of me! I have to confess that after my mother died, I was faced with the entire contents of her large flat, which was absolutely stuffed full of books.
I work full time at a demanding job.
I got most of the contents into storage which I pay for. I keep meaning to make space in my house and shed so that the stuff can arrive before I can put them here. Then the plan is to sell, keep, donate as you have done.
But that was years ago and the things are still in storage!

start slow if the thought terrifies you. If not sure that
you can give stuff away then put into something like a shopping trolley for a few days, Thats what I did, then took the full trolley to the hospice shop. It was a huge release to give stuff away, no point on dwelling on the money wasted, we all wasted money but it is nice to know that other unknown people can benefit

I would say that I have spent 4 years doing this downsizing seriously, a nibble at a time, a cubic foot at a time. Today 6 large lovely stone outdoor pots have gone and a large roll of brown wrapping paper and an acer plant. My new garden does not have room and these pots will be cherished by family. So I decided only yesterday that they should go, in that instant I was all of a sudden, ready to release them

JD does storage cost you much?

we're downsizing ,well hoping to.This is the third time we've had our house on the market.It sold within a week both last times and it was the seller of the houses we were buying who pulled out that meant we stayed put.Thsi time we got an agreement from the seller saying he was willing to wait for our home to sell.He's already moved in with a new partner so in no hurry to complete...he said.Now just a month down the line and with two couples who are keen but not ready to go to completion he jas decided he wants us to sign the final papers the second week of April!!!! It wont happen so it looks like we'll lose this house too and we've already spent money on plans for an extension simply because he said he was willing to wait.I think we ight just stay put if it falls through again .My OH says we could rent our house but I'm not keen to go down that route as the estate agent says demand is very slow due to Brexit nerves .

Paddyann, I was also told I could sell and rent, well no thanks, having to move twice, that would definitely send my stress levels skywards. I am having to believe in fate, it keeps me cheerful and the time is not wasted because I keep finding things to downsize. This afternoon it was some flour into a loaf and some plant troughs, emptied and destined for the tip. I was tempted to keep them but no, my new garden is a 1/4 the size of this one

Oh it is hard to stay cheerful, no news this week again.

Have you heard of square foot gardening? I do square foot downsizing, I mentally estimate the volume of what is going at any one time. It might seem to be a little bit but eg today I have 3 cu foot in my car boot and it is no skin off my nose to get to the tip, the scenery en route is lovely and it is a house break. Any which way that helps to get it done, to make it meaningful

I love house breaks just as much as walking back through the door and seeing how much I've accomplished -

latest out, vibrapower, cafetiere and a very good de-humidifier. All re-homed later today. All useful in their own way but I will adapt. De-humidifier was just for drying washing anyway

which singleton needs 100 clothes pegs and 2 peg bags? Out goes half. I have an excellent floor mop and a long bucket for it, just going out to see if my window squeegees fit in and yes the shorter one does. So most of that equipment is going, including the special long window bucket. There is an area in my recycling site, you can put things for someone to take. That equipment has been used for 8 years and is as good as new. My neighbour pays over £20 for her windows, same very large easy wash windows. I have always done ours, can get to all windows from inside. Let me see, £20 every 3 weeks over 8 years= noooo, £2700. Wow and I picked my days, dry and cloudy

Good result this morning, down to 1/3 in my utility. I see space

Good work Craftyone, seems like you are really cracking on.

We have had 6 old folks to deal with. My in-laws divorced and remarried and my Mother and Father. None of them prepared for their old age. They didn’t discuss funeral, finances or anything pertaining to wills or what they wanted to see done, they also didn’t down size, when they could.
So what happened ? They clung on to every piece of paper, clothes, nicknackes collected throughout their long lives. We travelled hundreds of miles to tidy their gardens, stock their cupboards, visit them in hospital when they had fallen etc etc.
My Step Mother in law died last year at 96 and my Mother in law, last year at 94. My Father in law 94 is the last one standing ( if you can call it that) We had three houses to go to and clean up.
What a selfish lot they have been, just leaving a mess for someone else to deal with. No one wanted their clutter. My children didn’t want boxes of bone handled knives and forks and kilner jars with ‘god knows what in’ etc.
My husband and I took a month to dispose of the furniture and junk in my MILs house. I stayed with my Father for three weeks when he was forced to move at 93. I sat by him picking up pieces of paper after paper and saying ‘ this is a gas bill from 1958, do you want it? Etc etc.
We are decluttering and downsizing ourselves, before someone else has to do it for us.

Not downsizing when you still can, is really selfish.

janeayr, yes I completely agree. No-one likes to downsize, the work, the actual getting rid and leaving it for those left behind, yes that is one of the most selfish acts of all. I started in earnest after husband died, probate and needing all those documents. I decided to `die tidy` for the children`s sake. Take crafted stuff for example, all those cross stitches that I did, well the pleasure was in the making, they were never going to be heirlooms, so they went.

I have started the freezer in earnest just now, 3 empty drawers and plans for a hot pot with frozen bits. 2 weeks from now, I could be on my way to a new smaller house, no time to procrastinate

It took about a week to sort through our mothers belongings after she entered into assisted living - There were 6 of us, some working dawn until dusk, some in shifts - It was a mindful process, having to navigate attachment/s and not waste time reminiscing or obsessing as I find myself doing even with my own items - Every inch of what gets accomplished here at home seems perfect until it isn't -

"Every inch of what gets accomplished here at home seems perfect until it isn't ". Love that Rosecarmel, what you said

Tip/recycling run is done but I failed, ok I bought chocolate on the way back, I need that comfort hug

I must admit I've an issue with "what if/s" - For example, I'm not one to pack a pantry - Just essentials, nothing much extra- But recent musings/threats of closing the border between Mexico and the U.S. ... I grabbed some canned goods - And avocado- It took me all of 10 minutes to shop- Then nearly 30 minutes to rearrange the little pantry so that it all fit ... Halfway through I considered tossing it all back in the bag and calling it a day - But that seemed like cheating

And speaking of cheating, and "what ifs", I purchased vacuume cleaner storage bags to " create extra space " .. For all the blankets I have .. You know, in case of a power outage during winter ..

For an army of 1 !!!

Rosecarmel, I have dozens of those bags. Lakeland in uk have a wonderful design, a vac bag in an outer fabric case with handles. I am packing to move and they are absolutely life saving for me. I first had them to be sure that moths would not attack my spinning fibres and welsh blankets. I bought them when on offer, months ago and I have 2 empty ones left to use

Those sound lovely! I don't believe I've seen anything quite like them in my shopping travels - I will have to keep an eye out-

I downsized in 2008, but at times, I regret not downsizing to a small bungalow. The reason I bought a house, was because, once an elderly friend, in her late 80s, when asked why she didn't move to a Bungalow, said, going up and down the staircase was the only exercise she had during the day. I haven't reached that stage yet, but I think this house will be handy, if I do remain here ?

janeayressister and Rosecarmel I agree. My dear Mother was a hoarder. She loved us all to bits but her failure to recognise clutter and hoarding for what they are created enormous work for us and heart ache. It’s left me determined not to leave unnecessary junk behind for my AC to waste their time sorting out and ditching.
Having said that I have one big problem — photographs. And only a few are sorted into albums And we have two amalgamated families. That means loads of school pictures, wedding pictures, baby pictures, holiday pictures, work pictures etc. We rarely look at any of them but are to afraid (because they are precious). To get rid of them or pass them back to the giver.

photos were incredibly hard, I managed with most by getting industrial look frames via ebay, different sizes and a bronze edge. I used little sticky pads and cut lots of photos up and made collages. They are wonderful, every cutout has a small spacebut I have family, grandparents etc. They are out all the time on one small shelf, better than being stuck in a box

Husband, when alive, scanned all my family photos and put them into a file, over 300 of them. I copied this file and sub files and gave the AC a copy each. My photos are all safe and slowly but slowly I got rid of most of the hard copies. I still have one 18 litre box full but that will remain as it is

crazyH, I was talking to my neighbour only yesterday, about osteoporosis and impact exercise. Not everyone can or wants to do pounding walking. I went for a house, deliberately, so I can pound down the stairs. She and I agree on this, she would never get a bungalow and she is a recently retired gp. I cycle but that is not impact exercise, I have a bellicon and that enables impacts. Its a shame but we should be thinking about averting some of the frailty that comes with old age. Osteoporosis starts soon after age 40. Thank goodness I am still strong, it is all the lifting, the muscle use. Use it or lose it