House on market and I'm a bit lost

Good Luck Mosaics...you really deserve a fresh start! Hope new EA gives you confidence.

The EA rang me at 7 pm and said she was sorry how everything had turned out.

It seems the buyer's mother in law has emailed over the weekend and now phoned her to say how disappointed they were that the sale didn't go through? I've advertised on a railway site and haven't engaged anyone new yet so the EA is still listed as the contact. Odder and odder still - her SIL was the one that withdrew! The EA said it is all very confusing, I think she shared my gut instinct about it.

We had a nice conversation, she said she wasn't going to charge me a withdrawal fee, and she'd be delighted to see me for a cup of tea when I collect my keys. If she could have marketed me on Rightmove too, I would have stayed.

What a learning curve. Getting ready for the new EA tomorrow, somehow when dusting got a bit of plaster in my eye and it's still there, not recommended!

Night night xx

Oh Craftone...biscuits are still my downfall.....bought in quite a lot as we had the garden builders in for 10 days. They did appreciate a good selection bless them and they worked so hard! I will not buy any more now but there is half a packet of ginger snaps left!!

As to spare keys - we provided all the children with spare sets for the old house so we must get around to doing it for this one. Thankfully all three (and their other halves) are such responsible types (we must have done something right with their upbringings!)

Enjoy sorting your drawers. I wish I'd disciplined myself to be more organised years ago, I enjoy wanting a needle (seem to get so many splinters nowadays, now I can't see them!) and going to my sewing box! Used to be dotted around everywhere due to last minute 'dressy up' repairs!

I've just wrapped a set of keys in foil and have hidden them in the garden. My son looked after the house and locked himself out last year - my neighbour has a set. Unfortunately when my son went round he could see them asleep on the sofa, so stood for two hours in the dripping rain under their apple tree!

Back to normal food today mosaics, I usually treat myself on a sunday, oh the little treats in a solitary life. I ate too many biscuits too but don`t have any left so will avoid temptation and not buy any more. Got to stay busy somehow, the only way I don`t think of sweet treats. I am also going to get back to eating in a more narrow time window, done that before all the stress and for starters it avoids nightime gerd. Hard to think of normal things when under selling stress and that includes eating

I might just sort a couple of drawers upstairs, its the little things, especially when the weather isn`t nice. Got to get another key made, I am terrified of losing my key when out. I am going to do what I have always done and wrap carefully and then bury so nothing shows. It will give me peace of mind. I did that in the last house and it stayed buried for 9 years until I unearthered it like new

Great news Franbern, I am so pleased for you.

I'm just trying to decide what to eat tonight craftyone as my daughter's welcome home cake is beckoning and I could but I won't! Your jam demi baguette sounds lovely, but I haven't got any jam.

Veg sausages and veg it is! xx

Allie2, downsizing is good, less work and fewer things to dust, better quality property maybe, new cosy build. Lock and leave so that you can maybe prise your dh off his chair and go on holidays with you, while you can

I am in somerset, love the county absolutely love it and the lovely friendly people, reasonable prices, all the green and the extra warmth of being south. I hail from liverpool and spent time in newcastle, lake district and wales. Somerset is perfect for me now, betwixt and between two daughters.

I did an hour of hard prep in the garden this morning, then walked to the `upmarket` store, came back with some very fresh veg and other lovely things like a puy lentil salad. Then I sat with an aeropress coffee, a hurdlebrook yoghurt, a beautiful crispy french warm demi-baguette layered with butter and jam. This is my sunday breakfast treat btw. Where I live now feels pretty much like heaven

So yes the choice of where to live needs to be top of the list when doing pros and cons. My choice of house was W/E as the rooms downstairs are front to back and light bathes downstairs all day long. My neighbour is S/N and because the sun is high, he does not get the light that I do, he will however benefit when the sun is lower and can shine in

All sounds good franbern

My lovely prospective buyers came yesterday with their parents. Everything went very well, I told them to just wander around the house and garden themselves, did not need me with them.
They are coming from a small flat, and are very excited about having so much room. The wife's Mum lives within half a mile, so she was also excited at the prospect of them moving here (they have a year old little girl). They have first time buyers for their flat. So that makes for quite a small chain.
I pointed out that all the 'whites' would be left for them and (obviously) all curtains and light fittings. Give them something to start with until they had the time and money to change things.
So, at this stage it is looking good.......Next weekend I have arranged to view four flats whilst visiting daughter in WsM. Hopefully, one of those will be suitable (I have checked them out extensively via Rightmove) - just have to make the decision of going into a much smaller sheltered housing flat or into a normal over=55 block.
Being taken out for lunch on my birthday by daughter who lives near me now, and then another birthday lunch next weekend in WsM.

Bournemouth sounds good to me. Although a busy town now. Not sure where I'd want to retire to.

Allie2, I'm so sorry to read about your frustration and stress.

It took me years to realise that my late husband was just absolutely exhausted after his week at work, both physically and mentally, and just wanted to relax in his home. The only thing I would not do was cut the lawn, and he would always put it off for as long as possible. I was extremely sad that he died mowing the lawn as he hated it so much.

I would grasp your husband's downsizing idea with both hands and continue to prepare your house for sale. Downsizing makes great sense as we get older - smaller bills, smaller maintenance, plus a little over hopefully for a new car perhaps or travel. Good luck and I hope your Dad enjoys doing things for you, my friend's Dad did all of her decorating too at the same age. A gesture of great love!

Greta8 - I'm not sure about anywhere to be honest, but as a Londoner, had always imagined my retirement on the south coast. I do need to travel around and look at places, I just feel guilty putting my dog into kennels. I have been perhaps too honest with my son and daughter about moving, and being scared of the future on my own, but they do agree the house is too expensive to maintain physically and my bills are huge. I watch the oil signalman like a woman possessed - I closed the Aga down when Steve died as I was so scared of the oil bill. I had it relit in March and turned my heating off mid April so I could see how much it is using. Still have 8 bars, thankfully! I am in an oil club which makes a teeny difference.

Hi Mosaic

How lovely that you've got your girl home with you. Once she's got settled do take the opportunity to talk things through with her, and gently share how stressful it is for you trying to move. She can maybe offer her perspective on it all for you. I would echo one of the other posters, do think carefully about where you want to be. Are you absolutely sure about Bournemouth? It is an expensive area and I do wonder whether the services are under pressure there. I understand you want to move away from the North, but what about a compromise? Parts of Shropshire are lovely. Also Worcestershire. Maybe take your time and do more research.

Allie2 - sorry to hear your problems. To be honest it's actually not just about the state of your property or whether to move, I would gently suggest that your relationship needs working on. If it was me, I would be taking the initiative - and getting out in the garden myself, also initiate having people in to do repairs, remove carpets upstairs. I know you have been clearing out stuff as well. Presumably you have your own money, as you are working full time (albeit on sick leave) - I would be shaming him into action. After doing the above, if he still doesn't stir himself, I would be offering him an ultimatum, either consider moving or it will be a flat for each of you individually. This is no way for you to spend the rest of your life.
taking this course of action.

My husband and I have lived in our house for 13 years. He had said that after 2 to 3 years of living here, that we would get rid of the carpeting in the bedrooms upstairs and replace them with hardwood. It hasn’t happened.
He doesn’t like to garden, so no flowers and hates cutting the grass (I cut it sometimes). He does not remove any weeds and I am so embarrassed to even sit outdoors and be seen by the neighbors. I also work full time hours during the day, and tutor children after work for an hour. Plus, I do all of the cleaning inside the home. And, the laundry.
Our home needs repainting on the outside (as paint has been peeling off for 2 years now). My 87 year old father has offered to paint it. And, my father will be repairing everything in our house (free of charge). We also have many repairs that need to be done inside the house, but my 62 year old husband watches television throughout the weekend and will not do any repairs himself, nor hire anyone to do them. He does go to work during the week.

Here’s my dilemma. I’ve expressed my unhappiness to my husband about the house and the state it’s in. He knows that I’m not happy. I suggested that instead of spending money upgrading the house, that we move to another house that’s in move-in condition, and the place we move into may be a bit more money, but at least everything will be done (because he certainly will not be repairing anything).

So, I began searching for a house in the real estate ads. I found several homes, and my husband and I even went to see 3 of them. I did fall in love with one home.

Upon our return home, my husband said, “Well, if you can get this house in shape to sell, then I’ll consider it”. Everyday, I’ve been working hard throwing out junk that he’s kept for years. Today, he said that he doesn’t want to move for another year or two! And, he doesn’t want to spend more money on another house. He would rather downsize. I cannot see myself in a smaller home. I have been trying to convince him to move for over 6 years now. How can I convince him? It’s making me so stressed and unhappy. Every time I find a house that I like, he doesn’t want to put in an offer of purchase. He delays it so much that the house becomes sold. Then, I get frustrated and stop searching.

My husband is very stingy with money. We have the money to buy something better, but he won’t. I spent the last six months on a sick leave due to the stress I’m feeling. I feel like quitting my job and doing nothing, since he’s not taking me seriously.

Also, our children are all grown up and living on their own. I’ve asked him why he feels it’s not a good time to move, and he answers that it just doesn’t feel right. His laziness is driving me crazy!

Hello Franbern,

I'm originally from Twickenham in Middlesex and ideally would like to go 'home', but it's out of my reach financially.

I have one elderly aunt on the IOW, but wouldn't want to be on an island - the ferry was stopped yesterday because of the high winds.

I've never settled up here, and it's too cold. I also want a fresh start. I feel completely lost and don't know how to spend the rest of my life, really. I'm trying to find somewhere near an airport and a train station so my kids can reach me. The only thing I would miss about this county is the sea and my daily beach walk, so it's just choosing somewhere along the warmer south coast and making sure I 'bloom where I'm planted'.

As I was an older mother (now 62), my daughter is 23 and coming home from her gap year travels on Monday - she will probably go to live in Canada to be with her boyfriend. I hardly see my 25 year old son who lives an hour away in Durham.

Happy birthday in a few day's time, do you have plans?

Good luck with your moving and I understand the feelings about the actual move, I experienced them when I thought I had the offer.

Enjoy your day, I must get dressed and walk this patient little dog!

Not sure why you have picked Bournemouth to move to eventually, it appears as if both of your children will be close to where you live now.
Moving to a new area is fraught with difficulties. Obviously, new networking of people to meet, etc. but also things like public transport links, hospitals, etc.etc.
I know I am planning to move 150 miles away to Weston-super-Mare. However, one of my daughters and her family have lived there for 20 years and I have visited very often. I really do know the area, and also know people there (apart from my daughter). Even so, I do have concerns moving outside of London, which I have lived in virtually all of my life.
Do hear of so many older people making a retirement move to somewhere new and never really settling there. I think the WHERE is as important as the WHAT we move to.
Must say with my 78th birthday in a couple of days time, I can understand people who say do not try to move after the age of 70. Trying hard not to get stressed out at this early stage of selling/buying. However, do have some serious panic attacks at the thought of the actual move. So many things to sort out in that last little while when contracts actually get exchanged.

oops....married at 23....not 13!!

Aha....must admit 23 nowadays is still pretty young....I was married at 13 although that was a bit of a disaster but I did feel 'all grown up' then and was certainly not listening to any advice.
Do check out the area you want to move to, its so important.
Everywhere can seem idyllic on a sunny day! Mind you good transport links can make a huge difference. A distance on a map can be quite deceptive....its all about the routes.

Thanks HildaW, she's 23. She's just put a photo of her sitting on a NZ mountain after five hours of slipping as the guide said crampons weren't necessary! And she heard mini avalanches!

My daughter is really academic, and not very practical - she still lives with me until she finds her first job, which will be in Manchester as she wants to be in TV. Her boyfriend will be coming over from Canada to live with her, wherever she is. I've just been looking and it's five hours from Manchester to Bournemouth. I've got absolutely no idea where to and have just decided Bournemouth will have to do

Oh Mosaicwarts....your DD should be looking after you! I think sometime we put too brave a face on things. I have no idea how old she is but methinks she needs to realise you might be her Mum but you need a little cosseting as well. Hope you have a lovely time with her!

Hey thanks Greta8. My daughter is back from three months travel on Monday and somehow I just can't get ready for her 'welcome home'.

I've done her bed, made sure all her post is on her dressing table - just got to put her Easter Eggs out! Not doing flowers in her room, she left them to rot last time as young people do! I haven't planned a big lunch, she's coming into Newcastle from NZ at 12 noon, normally she crashes into bed after long haul. The nice thing is that her brother is collecting her as he is now working as a taxi driver - I was going to have to get her a taxi anyway as I can't drive on the motorway now, so he'll get the fare

I'm really suffering with breathlessness with this cold, I've just come in from weeding the drive - well, trying to weed it. The weedkiller killed most of the weeds, but I have clumps of grass and I wasn't strong enough to dig them out. I threw out the lawnmower as it had rusted and pay someone to do the lawn, he's coming on Monday, and said he will also help me with the weeding. Do feel for my friend who's always puffed because of her asthma.

Now I'm changing agent, I'm going to try to be a lot less anxious. I was thinking about it today and it was appalling that she shared my private thoughts with the prospective buyer. She was horrified I asked for a reduction in her commission, I asked if she would as his offer was so low. I suppose it is good it happened, something worse could have occurred later down the line.

Off to feed puss cat, have a nice evening!

A very insightful and wise post, craftyone. I love Gransnet and all the support from so many lovely people - you are never alone. We decided to move in our 60's and it is proving stressful and hard. I admire your fortitude mosaic, no mean feat to be doing this on your own. I hope you're having a better day today. Roll on Tuesday for you, when you will begin to get some action from your new estate agents.

everyone is nervous right now, uk future, old age, crime. Our safe bubbles have well and truly been burst and only the mentally strong carry on out of their safe zones. Safe zones can become ruts that are unclimbable if we cling to them long enough and the longer we cling, the harder it is to leave what we know. Hence the invaluable support from so many in a similar position

I spoke to my life time friend, who sold her house within two weeks last night. She'd offered on a bungalow last Wednesday, on her second viewing - and withdrew her offer yesterday as she felt she wouldn't fit into the community there. I feel so for the poor seller!

Cheers everyone, just back from Aldi with my favourite Titan bars!

Will come back Tuesday and let you know the REAL marketable value of my house! xx

Looking back - what a roller coaster selling, buying and moving is. We have had both terrible and infuriating, expensive, bad experiences- which were all finally resolved by amazing ones ... Bonne chance, or 'merde' as we say here for good luck.

craftyone
Your post @9.09.
Re EA grinding you down.
This last move was the worst on the stress level ( and I've had a few)
In one of those 3o/clock in the morning moments I was having really evil thoughts about the solicitor and EA.
That same day I was talking about all the problems we were having with them and my friend said do you want them seen too A bit extreme, I know, but that's what these people push you too